Congratulations!
You are now the owner of a fully automated Thor unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your adorable asgardian, please pay close attention to the following instructions.
Basic Information:
Name: Thor Odinson
Date Of Manufacture: Year of 67BC
Place Of Manufacture: Marvel, Nine Realms
Height: Around 6'2"
Weight: Unknown
Race: Asgardian
Your Thorunit will come with the following accessories
Three shirts
Two pants
2 boots
2 Set of Armor
1 case of "Cape be clean"
1 Mjolnir
When you first open your Thor unit, he will be crazy and loud. Tase and hit him with a car and he will become manageable.
Cleaning: The Thorunit is fully capable of cleaning himself but will not keep the house clean.
Programming:
Your Thor unit is brave and honorable, and can carry out the following functions:
Spar Partner: Whether it's learning how break out of a headlock to handling a sword twice your size Thor has all the experience to teach you what you want to know.
Leader: Centuries of life has honed Thor's leadership skills to a fine point. Want to charge into glorious battles? Find food so succulent you think you gone to Valhalla? Ask your Thor to guide you.
Bodyguard: Thor is as strong as a ox and as durable as a the nine realms itself. Got a stalker? Need to walk home at night? Don't worry because you will always be safe with Thor around.
Walking astronomy book: Curious about what lies beyond the stars? Need to draw the world tree for class?Get Thor to help you.
Your Thor unit comes with five different modes:
Brother
King
Companion
Enraged
Hero
The Companion mode is activated whenever Thor is with other units Avengers. He will laugh at jokes, talk to people, comment on the others tininess, drink, go on adventures, devour poptarts, and smile. He will also react differently to different units in this mode.
King is activated when Thor is placed in a place of power over others in Asgard. He will command, strut, demand obedience, ignore most advice, and give battle speeches.
The Brother mode is activated when Thor is with a Loki unit. He will lead his brother on adventures, comfort, joke, mock, defend, spar and refuse kisses. After a Loki goes into madness Thor will try to convince Loki to stop being evil and come home.
Enraged: This is activated when Thor is insulted by frost giants, insulted, insulted by Loki, insulted, his offer of peace with Loki is rejected, his home, friends, families are threatened and someone brings up the wedding to the ogre king incident
The hero mode is activated when people are in danger. Thor will attack enemies, call storms, fly, summon lightning, charge, and if necessary offer his life for others.
(Please note that companion and brother are always available before and after a Loki learn of his heritage.)
Reaction to other units:
Odin All-Father: The Odin is his father and Thor will love and always try to impress him. You can leave them alone.
Lady Frigga: This unit is his mother and means more to Thor than any other. He will not harm, scream, or curse around her. You can leave them alone.
Loki Odin-Laufeyson : This unit is the adopted brother and close to the Thor unit who will always be in the brother mode before and after Loki finds out the truth. The Thor will never stop loving, trying to redeem and attempting to taking the Loki unit "home". After the truth is revealed Loki will go into madness around the Thor.
Clint Barton: The Thor is in companion mode around the Clint unit. He will spar, make bird jokes, enjoy food and sports, fight alongside, and talk to the Clint unit.
Natasha Romanova: The Natasha and Thor will get along just fine. There will be a moment of words if they have come into contact with a mad Loki but it causes no lasting effects. Other times they will spar, eat food, watch TV and fight enemies together.
Tony Stark: This unit will banter with a Thor and get into awesome sparing matches with him. Since Thor would be in companion mode they will also eat a lot of food and consume hours of TV together. Would not leave them unsupervised because the Tony is bound to talk the Thor into doing things by calling is a Midgard tradition.
Bruce Banner: The Bruce and Thor will get along fine as long as the Bruce does not go into HULK mode. Thor is the only one who can deal with the Hulk but otherwise you can leave them alone.
Steve Rogers: These two get along great. Since Thor will be in companion mode they will spar, try to understand modern references, be confused, eat (a lot) and recount battles.
Nick Fury: He is the SHIELD boss and is respected by the Thor. The Fury does have to give him a push when dealing with a mad Loki but otherwise there is no problems.
Phil Coulson: The Thor has a lot of respect for the Coulson unit and would often listen to what he has to say. No problem leaving them alone.
Erik Selving: These two are friends and will get drunk together.
Jane Foster: These two are in love. Warning: When together these two would be extremely fluffy and teethrotting.
Darcy Lewis: These units are friends. She would not tase the Thor.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: My Thor keeps climbing trees and rescuing kittens. The other day he ran across the street to save a raccoon. What the-?
A: Thor must be bored and somehow stuck in Hero mode. You can either reset him or find a mad Loki and point Thor in his direction. He will revert to brother mode and stop confusing you.
Q: My friend has a mad Loki and my Thor and her unit are always screaming and fighting. She wants to lock them in a room so they can fix their differences. How do we do that without burning down the city?
A:You need to buy a Frigga Unit. She will keep things relatively calm because the guys will not scream, curse, or fight in front of her.
Q: My Thor and Steve are arguing over who would make the better leader and I think it will come to blows. What do I do?
A: Hurry up and buy a Coulson unit and he will prevent any fighting.
Q: My Thor keeps watching Lifetime and reading romance novels and is constantly staring off into space. He even tried writing poetry. WHY?
A: He must be lonely. The only cure is to get a Jane unit and they will be in lover land.
Warranty: With proper care, the Thor unit will live for centuries and die of old age, unless a battle kills him. However, if you get frustrated with the golden prince, you can always send him back to our company for a full refund (within 12 months of purchase).