"Pass me some ink?"

I lean over and hand Affleck my pot. He nods his thanks and we go back to scribbling our essays in silence. The library is practically deserted at this time of night, and the only sound is our quiet breathing and the scratching of quills. We both have to finish the essays for History of Magic tomorrow morning, and when Affleck had asked me if I wanted to work on them together it seemed like a good idea. We've been spending a lot of time together the past few days, ever since I told him about Scorpius. He's proven to be a really good friend, which is nice since I still can't bring myself to face Regan or Albus.

"Did you say anything about goblins?" I ask, moving closer to get a look at his paper. My fingers brush against his, making him jerk his hand away like he'd been burned. "Hey, what was that for?"

"Your hands are cold," He mumbles, glancing up at me and then away. "No I don't say anything about goblins."

"Okay?" I don't know why he's acting weird all of a sudden. We write for a few more minutes in silence before my stomach lets out a deafening growl. To cover it up I ask, "You guys have a match coming up soon, right?"

"Yeah, the day after tomorrow." Affleck says, still writing.

"Who are you playing?"

"Hufflepuff."

"Why won't you look at me?" I laugh, poking him in the ribs. "Am I really that hideous?"
He looks up abruptly. "No, of course not. It's just—"

"Miss Weasley! What a fortunate surprise." Professor Leicester, my astronomy teacher, comes strolling toward our table. His glasses are perched on the edge of his nose, and his silver peppered hair is more rumpled than usual. "I just came here to return a book, but I'm so pleased to run into you. How is the tutoring going? It's been quite a while since you last checked in."

The tutoring. Scorpius and I always studied together when we were dating, but since the breakup it's been the last thing on my mind. "Right, well, uh, you see I figured that he was doing well enough that, uh, he didn't need my help anymore." I stammer, trying to come up with a better excuse than 'he broke my heart and I hope he flunks'.

Professor Leicester frowns, causing his glasses to slip farther down his face. "Unfortunately, his most recent tests don't support that. If you wouldn't mind, I think he would highly benefit from your continued assistance. I'll gladly give you the extra credit, of course."

"Professor…" The last thing I want to do is help Scorpius with anything, especially now. More than that, I'm not entirely sure that I'd be able to handle being so close to him. "Is there anyone else who could do it?"

"No one nearly as apt as you. Is there a problem I should be aware of?"

I look from him to Affleck, who's sitting rigid in his seat. He knows as well as I that my tutoring Scorpius could lead to potential disaster. "Well, we've certainly had our differences." I hedge. And boy, was that an understatement.

Leicester's hopeful expression crumples a little. "If you really don't think it's possible to help, I suppose I can try and find someone else. It's just…others have tried tutoring him before you, and you were the only one who actually improved his marks. I don't know where else to turn."

Of course I should say no. Of course the worst idea would be to agree and allow myself to get sucked back into that world. But the thought of letting Professor Leicester down makes guilt writhe in my stomach, so I find myself saying, "I'll tutor him, Professor."

Leicester positively beams. "I knew you would. Check back in with me next week so we can review his progress. Good evening to you, Miss Weasley, and you Mr. Bennet." He waves to us, then heads back out of the library.

Silence. Affleck stares down at the table with an unreadable expression, and I'm too afraid to ask him what he's thinking.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" He finally says, voice low but fierce. "You're barely over him, and now you want to go and put yourself in a situation where you and him will be spending lots of alone time together?"

The anger in his voice throws me off. "I'm not doing it for him, I'm doing it for Professor Leicester. You heard him, he was desperate."

"You could have said no. He said he would find someone else."

"He also said no one else had ever worked."

"I don't get it. Do you want to go back to him? Do you hope that by tutoring him again you two will get close and—"

I slam my hands on the table, startling him into silence. Indignation and anger make my face feel hot. "And what? And that he'll realize what he's missing, and everything will be happily ever after? I'm not an idiot, Affleck. I don't expect anything—hell, I don't want anything! And that you can sit there and accuse of me of that all just proves how little—"

Suddenly, Affleck's mouth is on mine, and his hands are pressed into my arms. The kiss takes me completely by surprise, and I'm so stunned that it takes me a few seconds to come to my senses. I turn my head to the side, breaking the contact. Affleck stays close to me, and I can feel his breath on my cheek as he says, "I don't want to see you hurt all over again."

I can't think. I can't speak. My mind won't quite process the fact that Affleck just kissed me. Finally I choke out, "Affleck, I don't—I can't—"

He moves back a little, and his eyes are warm as he takes hold of my hand and gives it a squeeze. "I know. It's not the right the time yet. I just want you to know that you don't need him to love you…there are plenty of other people who already do." When I still don't say anything, he lets go of my hand and sits back in his seat. A few seconds later he adds, "I miss your old hair, Ro, this one doesn't suit you the same way. It's not as brave as you are."

I spend all Saturday dreading 1:00 pm, because that's when I told Affleck to tell Scorpius to come in for tutoring. When the time comes to head to the library, I walk as slow as possible, trying to delay the inevitable for a few more precious seconds. My heartbeat picks up as I slide through the library doors, and my mouth feels unnaturally dry. What's it going to be like, being near him?

Several tables ahead of me, I spot the back of his white-blonde head. He's wearing the red flannel shirt I love so much, and I'm overwhelmed by a strong flashback of cuddling against his chest while he wore that soft, plaid shirt. No, I have to stop thinking that way. It's just a shirt. He's just a guy. No one special. I hold my breath as I approach the table and slide into the seat farthest opposite from him, and I avoid looking at him as I pull study materials out of my bag.

"This is going to be a silent study session. Finish this and when you're done you can leave." Thankfully my voice remains steady, and I slide a few sheets of paper across the table while studiously looking down at the History of Magic textbook I brought with me to study. I hear him shift in his chair as he brings the papers closer to him.

Several minutes pass in tense silence. I try to study but after reading the same paragraph four times it's clear that my mind isn't absorbing any of it. Instead, I'm hyper-aware of every sound Scorpius makes; every creak in his chair and shifting of his papers sounds a small alert in my head. There's a taut feeling in my chest caused by the shallow breaths I'm taking, but I can't seem to breathe any easier.

"You changed your hair back."

The sound of his voice makes my stomach lurch, and a hand flies to my head. It was true—last night, after studying with Affleck, I changed my hair back to its red, unruly state. The washed-out blonde look had been giving me a migraine. "Obviously."

"I like it better this way." He continues. I chance a look up at him and catch him staring at me. A flash of heat goes through my body, and I quickly look back down at my book. Great, my face is probably red as a tomato.

"No talking." I snap, angry for blushing and angry for caring. He obeys, but the sound of his voice broke something in me. I find myself gripping the edges of my textbook so hard my fingers turn white, while my stomach churns nauseatingly. If it was hard to concentrate before, it's impossible now.

This was such a bad idea. I should've listened to Affleck when he told me I wasn't ready. I'm going to throw up, this was a terrible—

"Can you check number five for me?" Scorpius clears his throat, "I'm not sure if my positioning is right."

Steeling myself, I hold out my hand for the paper. When he hands it to me, our fingers brush, sending electricity racing through my body. I jerk my hand back as a loud roar, like the crashing of the tide, sounds in my head. It takes several blinks to clear the black spots from my vision. When was the last time I ate anything? It's harder to remember than it should be.

"Rose, are you okay?" He asks, actually having the nerve to sound worried. The sound of my name from his lips acts like a trigger, and suddenly I'm so angry that my hands begin to shake.

"I'm fine. Your paper is—fine." Truthfully, I barely skimmed it, but there were no glaring errors. I go to push the paper back to him when his hand, reaching for it, accidentally lands on top of mine. My stomach heaves. I lurch to my feet and say, "I think you can do the rest on your own."

"Wait, please—"

I bolt from the library.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," I curse my bad decision as I walk quickly down the corridor. I was wrong to think I could be around him and not get upset. I was wrong to think that a month was enough time to get over it. I'm not over it—clearly I'm nowhere near close to apathy when it comes to Scorpius Malfoy. I'm walking so fast, and paying so little attention to my surroundings, that I almost collide into someone as I turn down the hall.

"Oh, sorry!" I squeak, before realizing who I've run into.

Albus faces me with a stony glare, his arms crossed. "For what? Ignoring me for the last few weeks, or for being a total git to Regan when she tried to reach out to you?"

"Albus," I don't know what to say to him. My head is still spinning from my encounter with Scorpius, and I half feel like I'm going to puke my brains out.

"You know, it's not like I'm someone you can brush off and never have to see again. We're family, dammit, and you don't treat family like this." He continues, clearly having a lot of bottled up anger toward me. "I don't even know what happened to you, Rosie. One minute you're glowing with happiness and the next minute you've shut everyone out, dyed your hair, started skipping lessons, and Regan tells me you've stopped eating again."

"Albus," I say, more insistingly this time. The lightheaded feeling I had back in the library is getting worse, and my face still feels hot to the point of being uncomfortable.

He plows on, heedless of my interruption. "And then there's Scorpius, who's been acting like a bear with a sore tooth and going from girl to girl at a rate that's mad, even for him. He won't tell me what's wrong besides that you two split, and all of a sudden I hear that Affleck practically assaulted him in Potions before kicking him off the team, but nobody is telling me a thing and—Rose, are you okay?"

His voice sounds distant, like we're talking from two ends of a tunnel. There's a pounding in my head, when I blink I find that I'm sitting on the floor.

"Rose," Albus bends down close so he's in my direct line of vision, his expression serious. "When was the last time you ate?"

I shake my head, trying to remember. "I don't—um—" I'm too confused to think of an answer, so I blink hard and use him to help pull myself to my feet. The second he lets go of me the black spots overwhelm my vision, and my knees give out under me as I hit the floor.