Free Falling

He always knew there would be a time, when his partner would need him for more than just backup. Wether it's because she's sick or she needs a ride to work he knows she'll eventually call. And he's always prepared for it, maybe even more than he should be. Sometimes he thinks if he can be her knight in shining armor she'll start to see him as more than a goofy sidekick or a partner.

And he knows there's always a possibility that when she calls there'll be a problem that's bigger than even the two of them but he hates to think about it, because it just reminds him how real that possibility really is and that anything at any time could take her away from him. So you can imagine how detective Marty Deeks feels when his cell phone rings at three in the morning and Kensi's name lights up on the small screen.

He scrambles to sit upright and grabs the phone off the nightstand before answering. His voice is laced with concern as he answers and asks what's wrong. The voice on the other end doesn't sound like Kensi, it's quiet and strained as if she's fighting back tears but through it all he knows it's his partner.

When she asks him if he can come over he knows somethings wrong but he agrees and tells her he'll be there in ten minutes. After they hang up he runs a hand through his hair before pushing himself off the bed. He bends down and picks his jeans up off the floor before pulling them on and grabbing a fresh T-shirt from his drawer.

He grabs his keys from the table by the front door an quickly gets into his car. His mind is racing as he makes the seven minute drive. He knows she's not hurt because if she was she would have been smart enough to call an ambulance. He wonders if it's work related but then quickly pushes that thought aside because not even Kensi is that obsessed with the job.

He knows that only leaves one other option, she's still thinking about the case they closed and the little girl they didn't save. He remembers all too clearly the blood and the smell of death that hung in the air when they found her. He remembers instinctively reaching a hand out and resting it on Kensi's shoulder, just so she knew he was there.

Her face had given away nothing as she stood there and stared down and the small broken and bloody body, she didn't even blink when the coroner had gently laid a white sheet over her before carrying her away.

When they got back to OPS she insisted she was fine and just wanted to go home and sleep and Deeks, always eager to please his partner let her go without a word. He feels anger and frustration bubble up inside of him and he immediately blames himself for whatever is going on. He doesn't have long to be mad though as he pulls up to Kensi's apartment and swings the car into one of the empty parking spots.

He gets out and walks up the stairs, stopping outside her door and pausing before he gently knocks. There's a moment of silence and he thinks about knocking again until the door softly clicks and Kensi appears with swollen red eyes and dry tears tracks on her pale cheeks.

She's wearing a black tank top and flannel pajama pants and Deeks can't remember a time when she looks more beautiful. She steps back and let's him in before shutting the door behind herself and walking back to the couch, leaving him standing there with his hands awkwardly shoved into his pockets.

He doesn't know what to say because he's never seen her this vulnerable before. Whenever they're together she's cranky, making fun of him or criticizing something, but now she's sitting on her couch in her pajamas gently rocking back and forth as tears spill from her mismatched eyes.

He doesn't know what to do except watch her crack and break, crying loudly and wrapping her slender arms around herself. It's difficult for him to watch and it's not long before he comes to his senses and he's sitting down beside her and pulling her into him as she continues to cry.

Her shoulders shake with each sob and she grips onto his shirt as she cries into his chest. Her hair tickles his nose and he can smell the sweet scent that can only be described Kensi. He continues to hold her as he rubs soothing circles on her back. He can hear her mumble something into his chest and it takes him a few seconds before he realizes what she's saying.

"My fault," he hears through her tears and muffled sobs.

He stops when he hears those words and instantly he draws back and grabs her shoulders, so hard he's surprised he hasn't hurt her. He looks into her eyes and firmly says, "It's not your fault Kens."

He doesn't know if it's because she believes him or because she's too tired to argue but she nods her head before laying it back on his chest. Slowly her sobs subside and are replaced with occasional whimpers and hiccups. Deeks holds her tightly, still rubbing her back with his lips pressed against her hair. It's nearly four thirty in the morning before he hears the soft sound of her snoring and he realizes she's finally fallen asleep.

Carefully he scoops her up and walks down the hallway to her bedroom. He lays her down on her bed and pulls the blanket over her body before he brushes a few curls from her face. He watches her for a few minutes, following the rise and fall of her chest as it brings comfort to him, because he's knows for now she's alright.

When he decides he's had enough he walks back to the living room and sits down on the couch, pulling the duvet off the back and covers himself with it. He grabs the remote off of her coffee table and turns the tv on and mindlessly starts flipping through the channels. It's not long before he hears a soft rustling followed by footsteps coming down the hallway. Kensi appears and without a word lays down on the couch beside him, laying her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes.

He wants to say something but the look of peace on her face changes his mind and he settles for wrapping an arm around her instead. In minutes she's asleep again, with her head now on his chest and her arm wrapped around his waist. Deeks smiles to himself before he closes his eyes and he's joined by sleep, still keeping a firm hold on Kensi because he knows there's no way he's letting go of her now.

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