Chapter 10: Return of the Psycho Taco Bag
Just outside the S.I.P. base…
"Let me check out the TSC," Ash said.
"If you do maintenance the way you drive, you can't be trusted under the hood. I may only be fifteen, but I probably know more about motors than you," Dawn objected. She walked past him, brushing the fur of her tail under his nose. Piplup followed her. Dawn pulled the hood up. "Um…maybe it just needs a jumpstart." She dipped her tail into the machinery. After giving off some electricity, she tried to pull out, but realized she was stuck.
"Need a little help there," Thomas snickered. He walked over to her and saw that her tail was caught between some gears. "Well, this is tricky. Maybe if we grease the gears up…"
Just then, a large paper bag with legs and grease stains ran by. Alvin asked, "By grease, do you mean like what is in that paper bag that just passed trough here?"
"Paper b—oh, no!" Thomas gasped with realization.
"Vile, Vileplume!" Vileplume said. Translation: It can't be!
"Pichu!" Pichu claimed. Translation: It is!
"What? What's wrong?" Brittany asked.
"Oh, man! If it is what I think it is, this can't be good!" Ash panicked.
"We can't assume anything until we know for sure," Cilan tried to reason.
"Now is not the time for logic, Cilan!" Iris snapped.
"What the heck is going on? Why can't you get my tail out?" Dawn begged for answers. "That sounded a lot less weird in my head."
"Psycho Taco Bag has returned!" Ben yelled.
"Oh, no need to worry about that," Dawn scoffed.
"You don't understand. It's a psychotic bag of tacos!" Summer exclaimed.
"That was purchased at a gas station," Hannah added.
"Somewhere in the Multi-Verse," Misty added onto that.
"And it tried to kill us!" Thomas claimed.
"Sewaddle?" Sewaddle asked from Hannah's shoulder. Translation: Really?
"Combusken," Combusken nodded. Translation: Yes.
"Vile, Vileplume, Plume!" Vileplume claimed. Translation: It is evil, man!
"Chu, Pika!" Pikachu added. Translation: And scary!
"Azurill, Azurill," Azurill added. Translation: And high in fat.
"So you're all freaking out…over a bag of tacos?" Simon asked.
"I thought it was weird when we almost got eaten by thirty-foot Chihuahuas and nearly exploded in a giant stone fortress, but this is just plain crazy!" Brittany exclaimed.
"For some reason, I'm not surprised," Jeanette declared.
"Where are my hunting pants? I'm going after the bag!" Ash declared.
"Hunting pants?" Eleanor echoed with her head tilted.
"I think I saw a rifle in the TSC," Thomas stated. He pulled out his sword. Ash went to the back of the purple van and pulled out a rifle. Summer took out her bow and notched an arrow. Hannah took out some shurikens, and Ben unsheathed the Blade of the Hero. Cilan took some cilantro from his pocket.
"Guys! You can't just leave me stuck here!" Dawn protested. She kept trying to yank her Pachirisu tail out of the gears of the magical van.
"To the hunt!" Alvin pulled out his sword as it glowed red. Simon did the same, and his sword glowed blue. Jeanette activated her retractable staff. Brittany's weapon was a chipmunk sized dagger. "Away!"
"YAAAAAAH!" yelled those who had taken out their weapons to hunt for the bag of tacos. They charged off after the paper bag with legs.
"What just happened?" Dawn asked as she pulled on her tail.
"I don't know. I stopped listening to them ages ago," Iris shrugged.
"What's so troublesome about a bag of tacos?" Theodore asked.
"Did you see the legs on that thing?" Misty asked the Chipmunk. Then, there was a loud explosion. Misty said, "I hope that's a good sign."
"What if they don't come back?" Eleanor asked fearfully. First, she was mortified, and then, seconds later, she sprained her ankle again. Then, she fell into a ravine, and while she was out, she needed a kidney transplant. Now, there was a chance that she was going to lose her sisters.
"Then," Chris said and walked over to the Ranger Bird 1, "we fly!"
"But I don't want to fly," Theodore whined.
"How can anyone not want to fly?! If Summer was here right now, we'd both be giving you a chewing-out!" Chris argued.
"Summer does love to fly," Iris agreed.
"Yes, she does," Misty nodded. Then, there were two more explosions, followed by indistinct shouting.
"Can someone please help me out?!" Dawn begged.
"I'll do it," Iris groaned.
With the "hunters"…
"Oh, Psycho Taco Bag, where are you?" Thomas called out as he, his Vileplume, Simon, and Jeanette looked for the live paper bag. Just then, he sensed a space distortion. They spotted Psycho Taco Bag go around some bushes, and they chased it until they found some kind of wormhole, and Psycho Taco Bag was gone.
"An escape, maybe?" Jeanette asked.
"I don't think so. Otherwise, this portal would've started closing the moment Psycho Taco Bag went through it," Thomas pointed out.
"How do we know that it went through it?" Simon asked.
"Hmm…that's a good question if Psycho Taco Bag is the subject of the question," Thomas said thoughtfully.
"Vileplume," Vileplume simply claimed. Translation: We don't.
"I feel a strange energy coming from the other side of this thing," Thomas spoke suddenly.
"Me, too, but I'm surprised, since you have a lot of experience with many kinds of mystical energy," Simon declared.
"We should show this to the others," Jeanette advised.
Back with the other "hunters" and those who stayed behind…
"So you really want to run tests on me to see if the Poké Virus is contagious?" Dawn asked. Her Pachirisu tail was free thanks to Iris. Coincidentally, her Pachirisu was on her shoulder. She looked at it and said, "It looks like we're sisters."
"Chipa!" Pachirisu excitedly squeaked. Translation: Yay!
"Seems reasonable, right?" Hannah asked. "Now, I think we'll need a fur sample."
"You guys!" the bespectacled trio called out and ran into town where they were.
"Who gave you three an industrial sized bag of sugar?" Summer asked.
"We found a weird portal unlike anything I've ever seen before," Thomas explained.
"And there was an interesting energy coming from the other side!" Simon added.
"Vileplume! Vileplume, Vile, Vile!" Vileplume hypothesized. Translation: Guys! I think it leads to a new place!
"I agree with Vileplume!" Thomas agreed with his partner Pokémon.
"Me, too!" Jeanette vouched.
"As do I!" Simon raised his hand.
"Okay, let's go check it out. I'll drive," Ash offered. Everyone was so shocked by what Thomas, Jeanette, Simon, and Vileplume had to say that they didn't try to stop him. So they all got into the TSC and drove to where they found the wormhole.
"That's a new-looking tunnel," Ben commented.
"It kind of looks like a toilet," Alvin commented.
"Can we flush it?" Theodore asked.
"Before this turns into a potty mouth palooza, I just want to say that I think Lucas and Barry are on the other side of it," Dawn claimed.
"Why?" Misty asked.
"Before I was forcibly sent here, I sensed a force of darkness near. It was right after the Poké Virus reactivated."
"So you're dating two guys?" Eleanor asked.
"No! I'm only dating Lucas! Barry's just plan insensitive!" Dawn said; her face more flushed than the portal.
"Can we please forget Dawn's freaking love triangle? I'm gonna floor it!" Ash stated and put the pedal to the floor. Everyone screamed as the TSC lurched forward. Chris followed on the Ranger Bird 1, which miraculously fit into the portal. Ash then said, "I'm going to do a barrel roll!"
"Please don't!" Brittany begged, not wanting Theodore to throw up on her.
"You're an idiot!" Hannah yelled and punched him in the head. His head hit the horn.
"Guys, look!" Misty exclaimed from the passenger seat. She pointed. Out the windshield was Psycho Taco Bag. Seconds later, it exploded, and taco ingredients (along with other things) got on the windshield.
"See? This is why we don't stop at a gas station for tacos!" Hannah yelled at Ben and Thomas.
"It was his idea!" Thomas pointed to Ben.
"No! It was Hannah's!" Ben blamed.
"How the heck was it my idea?!" Hannah argued.
"Guys, whatever is at the end of the portal is…calling out to me," Brittany declared. An odd sensation washed over her small and furry being. The rest of them went silent. The only sound was Ash activating the windshield wipers.
The CB radio turned on, and Chris reported, "I'm flying blind! The outside of the cockpit is covered in salsa!"
"Oy," Hannah groaned. "What kind of life is this?"
"One where we blow stuff up for a living!" Thomas said excitedly.
"This is going to be a long car ride," Iris moaned.
"Brother trucker, this is thick salsa!" Chris exclaimed over the CB radio.
First, the TSC exited the portal, followed by the Ranger Bird 1, but where did they land? Were they even on Earth anymore?
Where did the team end up? You'll find out, but not in this story. With the assistance (and setting) of no1nosme, we plan to write a new story. Pokémon and the Chipmunks on Azula! The title may change. Or it may not. I think I just gave it away, but you're probably wondering what Azula is, or what the Shadow Master is up to with Lucas and Barry. So stay tuned! Please remember to review!