Fuccckkkkk I should not be starting a new story. But I am. And I will. Because I want to. And since my new love is Shuuhei Hisagi.

*cough cough* This is inspired a bit by "Memoirs of a Geisha" and a bit by peppermint quartz's works. Memoirs because it is about how Hisagi came to be who he is and a bit by PQ's because of how she constructed the relationship between Gin and Aizen and Kira. I'm doing the same except with Hisagi. You have been warned. Things might get too OOC for you. You know the drill, don't like don't read. We clear now? Good, moving on.

I'm doing this from Hisagi's POV throughout because I sort of love putting myself in someone else's shoes and looking from their perspective. Warnings? Hmmmm, cursing, rape, child abuse, murder, death, Gin, Aizen, the works. Not all combined in this chapter! Gradually! Just giving everyone a heads up. I'll add a warning if needed on the top of a chapter that might be particularly gory.

Proceed.

Chapter 1: Hello

'Arata, slow down!' I panted and put on a burst of speed in order to catch up with my irritating redhead of a friend. Kami, the trouble that guy would get us all into!

The boy turned his head to grin at me, clearly showing the two front teeth he had lost trying to jump over a moving horse cart. See? I told you he's an idiot.

'Shuuhei's right, Arata! We can't keep up!' huffed Keiji. I felt sorry for him. He's more on the pudgy side compared to the rest of us chasing Arata.

'You're just a fatso, Keiji!' Arata taunted and started to run faster.

I scowled. That wasn't nice! We all knew Keiju ate a bit too much but we never teased him for it! It wasn't fair of Arata to do it but then again, Arata was never nice to Keiji.

I picked up speed and ran faster, my bare feet thudding as loud as my heart in my ears as the four of us sprinted through the thick forest and shrubbery. I was at Arata's heels now. Launching myself forward, I jumped the boy and we both landed painfully to the floor, rolling across the earthy ground and into a clearing. Arata hacked a cough as I sat on top of him, giving him the meanest glare I could muster.

'What the hell, Shuuhei?' he yelled as me, trying to shove me off but I held fast. I grabbed the front of his robes and pulled him up, my eyes narrowing.

'Don't think you're all high and mighty, Arata!' I snapped. The rest had caught up and were watching us quietly. 'We all have our faults and weaknesses but we don't tease each other about it! We stand by each other because friends stick together! If we weren't all struggling to stay alive, we would have abandoned you! So be grateful!'

With that, I got off him with a disgusted look. I really couldn't stand Arata at times. He could be such an imbecile. Truly, if we weren't all orphans and depending on each other to survive, I would have kicked his sorry ass out of our group. And Arata knew that. He hated me just as much.

'Why'd you bring us here, Arata?' Kazuki said nervously, hoping the fire had died down now. The silver-haired boy glanced at both of us now that Arata had stood up. Sniffing disdainfully, Arata pointed to a bunch of bushes.

'I found a couple of Shinigami robes over there,' he muttered, not wanting to meet eyes with me.

'So?' Keiji asked in confusion. Arata glared at him but, remembering that I was here, bit back a retort and answered Keiji normally. For once.

'Shinigami's don't leave their robes lying about,' he replied, his eyes shining now. He was inching closer to the place. 'Nor do they leave their tabis or warajis or…' his eyes slid over all of us smugly, '…their zanpaktous.'

Keiji and Kazuki's eyes widened in awe. I was also slightly in shock and wonderment. It's true; Shinigamis never leave their most prized weapon lying about. It was just unheard off and frankly, stupid.

I frowned. Why were such important ornaments just lying about in the middle of nowhere? Something just didn't add up.

'Let's go play with them!' Arata said excitedly and began to jog towards the bushes.

'Huh? Wait! No!' I yelled in alarm as the other boys followed gleefully.

'Why not, Shuu? It sounds like fun!' Kazuki insisted.

'I always wanted to be a Shinigami and have my own zanpaktou!' Keiji said dreamily.

'Something doesn't seem right!' I pleaded. Everyone had stopped to listen to me. Even Arata. 'Please, you guys, I think something horrible must have happened to those Shinigamis! It's just really weird to find zanpaktous completely unguarded!'

'Shuuhei's just a chicken!' Arata chanted, smirking at me. I scowled and clenched my hands into fists.

'I know I'm right,' I continued to speak through gritted teeth. 'It could be a trap.'

Arata snorted and strode up to me, fear from last time conveniently vanishing.

'Are you going to cry again, Shuu-hei?' he sneered. I felt my face redden. How dare he bring that up! He was such an asshole!

The others were silent, not daring to interfere.

'Shut it, Arata,' I growled.

'Why? You're nothing but a big, fat, scaredy-!'

'HOLLOW!' Kazuki suddenly shrieked and pointed behind my shoulder.

Arata's face paled and I felt all the blood draining from my own as I whipped around to come face to face with a gigantic Hollow structured like a monstrous dinosaur. It roared angrily, as if irritated in having its sneak attack spoiled.

My body was frozen. I didn't know if I could even move. Then, the Hollow's head darted down to strike and I felt the feeling return to my limbs.

'Duck!' I screamed and dragged Arata to one side. The ground exploded at where the Hollow struck.

'ARATA, MOVE!'

The boy was frozen. His eyes were transfixed on the monstrous Hollow. I pulled at him even more frantically when the Hollow rediscovered us. It reared its head back to strike once more. My eardrums explode as the Hollow let out another angry ear-splitting shriek. That seemed to wake Arata. He blinked and gazed up at me slowly. I could feel my body shaking in fright now. We had to move fast.

'Shuuhei,' he murmured in confusion, as if he didn't know what was going on. 'What-'

The Hollow now plunged right between us. Without even thinking, I shoved the redhead away from me in order to avoid us both being eaten. However, being separated from me brought the boy to his senses. He became hysterical.

'SHUUHEI!' he screamed in panic, his eyes so wide they almost covered half his face. He scrambled up and began to run towards me, hands outstretched to grab me. That's when I noticed something darting out the corner of my eye. A fist clenched around my heart.

'Arata, stop!' I began to yell but it was too late.

A tentacle from the Hollow's back slithered around Arata's waist, dragging the screaming boy up to its owner's huge mouth and chopped down on him. I wanted to throw up as I heard bones crunching, blood dripping, and flesh ripping. I shakily backed up next to my friends. I had never feared death as much as I did that day.

The Hollow prepared for another attack. I scrunched my eyes shut.

'Run!' I yelled. 'If you want to live you have to run!'

I faced a frightened Keiji and Kazuki. We all saw what happened to Arata. I was relieved that they had enough sense to listen to me now.

Heart pounding frantically against my chest, I panicked when I realized how slowly we were moving. I was faster than the others; I could survive. But Keji and Kazuki…they weren't going to make it. Not unless the Hollow was distracted.

I skidded to a halt and ran back, praying I knew what the hell I was doing. To my relief, I spotted a long branch. It was no sword but it would have to do. Grasping it firmly, I took on a warrior stance and faced the Hollow charging towards me. My legs were threatening to collapse under me but I knew if I didn't do this we were all doomed.

The Hollow's tentacle swung out to meet me. I flinched as it drew nearer; I knew what it did to Arata and that scared me. Still, I steeled myself and whacked it hard. I turned around, hoping Keiji and Kazuki had escaped but to my horror, they hadn't moved.

'What are you waiting for? Run!' I shouted desperately, while simultaneously beating off the tentacle.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, another feeler wrapped itself around my waist. Air whizzed through my ears as I was lifted so suddenly off the ground. My brain rattled in my skull and I felt like my entire body was numb; I couldn't feel anything. My throat felt raw, like I had swallowed shards of glass; then I realized that I was screaming myself hoarse. I thought I was blind and surrounded my darkness but coming to me sense, I saw it was the Hollow's mouth rushing to greet me. I squeezed my eyes shut, my heart pattering like crazy. This was it. I was going to die.

I was falling now. Did the monster swallow me instead of chewing me down like Arata? I hit the ground. Hard. Pain lanced up my body and I coughed as dust entered my mouth. Wait, dirt?

I opened my eyes and I realized I was on the ground with the sun shining down on my back. My heart swelled with joy. I was alive! But how?

A shadow eclipsed over me. Daring to look up, I gasped. Because before stood the most remarkable man I had ever laid eyes on.

His hair was a silvery grey, brushing down like a waterfall. His hakama parted in the front to show off his well-defined chest and arms. He wore a white haori too.

My eyes widened. I was in the presence of a taicho from the 13 Court Guard Squads.

'You better get out of here quick,' the man uttered in a husky tone. The authority that voice oozed made my spine tingle. 'You don't want to die, do you?'

He was right. I didn't want to die. Not like this. But I didn't want to leave either. I had never seen a Shinigami, let alone a taicho battle before. And it was spectacular. He took on the Hollow all by himself. I didn't know which Division he belonged to but he was powerful. And his zanpaktou…it cut through the Hollow like it was melted butter. That Hollow didn't stand a chance against him! And he didn't even break a sweat!

My mouth hung open as I watched the entire spectacle unfold before my very eyes. I had never seen anything like it. I was in awe. This man…this man was a God.

I stared down at my slender hands, hands that people often teased should belong to a pretty bride. It annoyed me to no ends, realizing how weak I was. I wish I was stronger.

I crumbled to my knees. I wish…I wish…

My eyes were welling up. I hastily tried to wipe them away but they just weren't stopping. Kami, can I never stop crying about stupid things?

'Hey, kid, what are you crying about?' sounded a brash voice from above. I recognized it immediately. It was the taicho. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. He knew I was crying but it was even more embarrassing if he saw me while I cried.

'Come on! Smile!'

I guess I should…try. A taicho was telling me after all.

I glanced up a little and backtracked in horror. That wasn't a smile! I didn't know what it was! Whatever it was, it just made the tears well up even faster in my eyes.

'It's a bit much, don't you think?' one his subordinates muttered at him. The captain sighed in aggravation. Then, without warning, he pulled me to my feet. I looked up at him in surprise.

'What's your name, kid?' he grunted, his eyes narrowing. I was almost tempted to run away but I held my ground. I wanted to show him I was brave enough to be in his presence.

'Shuu…' I hiccoughed. Kami, could this get any more humiliating? 'Shuuhei Hisagi.'

'That's a strong name,' he replied almost instantly. Despite my eyes being as red as a tomato, I glowed at that compliment. Too bad my emotions went haywire and I started crying even more. 'Oh Kami, will you stop crying! Jeez!'

Thank Kami, someone interrupted him. A bright green-haired woman with a fukutaicho badge tied to her arm. And she was holding up a Shinigami robe.

'Look what I found, Kensei!' she hushed. 'There are more in those bushes!'

She was pointing to the same ones Arata had. So I was right! There was something off about Arata's discovery!

I was so lost in thought I didn't realize that the taicho of the squad was talking to me again.

'You should go home,' he murmured, his eyes grave. Had they been discussing something serious?

I didn't have time to ask. He turned to leave. And as he did, his kosode parted further to reveal a tattoo etched sharply across his abs right below his pectorals. They stood out distinctly, two numbers that seemed to have no meaning but at the same time, have so much to them.

69.

My body inclined forward, as if I wanted to follow him. I stopped myself just in time and watched him walk away with the chatty woman, his face seared into my brain. I wanted him to look at me again. I wanted him to recognize me as an equal individual. Right now, I was just a child, a nobody, an orphan. I was no one important. It never bothered me before until I met him. To him, I wanted to be a somebody. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be a Shinigami.

I clenched my hands into fists.

I will make him recognize me. Next time we meet, he won't look down at me but acknowledge me. For I will see him again.