One in the Same

Emma cursed loudly as she swerved her yellow bug into one of the parking spots at Granny's Diner. At a glance, she could see that she had taken up two whole parking spaces, but the sheriff was beyond caring at this point. If someone wanted to complain about her driving and parking skills she was more than willing to have that little chat. And perhaps hit them. . . several times. . . in the face. . .

The woman was more antsy than she could ever recall being- most definitely not a good thing- and to top it off, she having a morning out of hell. All she wanted was to be left alone, and yet here she was out in public, preparing for a strange encounter with her least favorite Pawnbroker, and it wasn't even 7:30 in the morning.

Why was she doing this again? Why had she let a dream take control of her in her waking hours? It made no sense. And yet, she couldn't just walk away. Not if it meant for even one moment that she wasn't alone. Before she had lost Henry, Emma had thought that she would have been overjoyed to have been left alone by the prying populace of Storybrooke, Maine. But now that she was alone in the small town, she realized it wasn't what she had wanted at all.

The disgruntled woman sluggishly got out of the warmth of her car and walked briskly through the rain towards the nearby building. But sadly she didn't make it to the door, before she was soaking wet. "Really? Like I've got nothing else to worry about today!" Emma fought the urge to put her fist through the wall, as she briskly approached the diner's main counter, to stand before the cash register with a scowl plastered to her face; waiting for Ruby to appear.

After several minutes of this, Emma had had enough.

"Hey!" she yelled, making the handful of patrons turn to stare at her. "Is anyone back there?"

Several seconds later, Ruby rushed out from the kitchen and flashed Emma an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, Emma! I didn't hear you come in."

Emma- using her superpower- could see that Ruby was telling the truth, and shrugged as her annoyance subsided. "It's okay, Ruby. I shouldn't have yelled."

"Don't worry about it," Ruby said with a quick nod to show that she wasn't offended. Then the waitress took a closer look at the Sheriff and said bluntly, "Honey, you look like hell."

Emma lifted an eyebrow despite her fatigue and grief, and let out a shaky laugh. She was extremely grateful that at least she could count on Ruby not to avoid or coddle her. It was a nice change from the way that Mary Margaret had been treating her since the funeral.

"Thanks, Ruby," she said sarcastically, though she was secretly pleased. "Now I know that no matter what happens,that you'll always tell me the truth about my appearance."

The waitress had the grace to blush and then reached out for Emma's hand, startling the blonde further. "Emma. . . You know that if you ever need anything, that I'm here for you, right?"

Despite being on-edge, and wondering what she was doing out of bed, Emma was touched by the statement and tried to smile. She knew it was half-assed the moment her lips turned upward, but it was the best she could do. . . It had to be enough.

"Yeah. . . I know."

Ruby squeezed her friend's hand reassuringly but didn't say anymore on the topic, to Emma's great relief. The woman had never been good at showing her emotions, let alone sharing them. So she felt some of the nervous pressure in her stomach abate when the subject was changed.

"So Sheriff, what can I get you," Ruby asked with her kind smile still in place. "The usual: large hot chocolate with cinnamon?"

Emma shook her head and set down the only dollar bill she had with her, which just so happened to be a twenty. "Not today. I need a shot of whatever alcohol you've got."

Ruby frowned but at the unyielding look Emma gave her, she didn't say anything about her strange choice of breakfast drink. After about a minute, Ruby handed the Sheriff what she had requested and Emma took the small shot glass in her hand. She lifted it to her lips without hesitation and downed the contents in one long gulp. The taste of Jack Daniels filled her mouth and she smiled. It had been a while since she had had alcohol, and she hadn't realized just how much she had missed the liquid courage. In truth, Emma had never needed more help, so she poured herself another shot, and gulped this one down just as fast as the first. The quick succession of the drinks made her throat burn, but it wasn't a new experience to Emma, so she merely lifted an eyebrow and waited for it to pass.

When the stinging in the back of her throat had finally died down, the sheriff placed the glass back down on the counter and sighed dejectedly.

Emma would have liked nothing more than to drink the whole bottle of Jack and go back home to sleep off her depression. But she knew she couldn't. She had to find out if her nightly visitor actually knew Mr. Gold, and she couldn't do that unless she confronted the mysterious pawnbroker face to face.

"I must be crazy," The blonde thought with resignation, as she fingered the shot glass with a steady hand. "There is no other explanation for everything that has happened to me. . . None of this should be happening. . . None of this should be possible."

When Ruby offered Emma a second glass filled with water, the sheriff took it with silent gratitude and downed the cup in several long chugs. And once she was done, the woman longing eyed the Jack Daniels once more.

Emma had driven straight to Granny's, knowing that if what Rumpelstiltskin had said was true, that she would be thankful for the alcoholic buzz later on. So here she was, with a bottle of alcohol staring her down, and a thousand doubts running through her already muddled brain.

Definitely not a good combo.

It took all of Emma's willpower to push her shot glass and liquor back towards Ruby, but she managed it and grimaced. She couldn't stall anymore. . . It was time to face Gold.

"See ya," Emma called to Ruby as she turned and headed back the way she had come.

The waitress watched the sheriff leave with a worried glance, and a pouty lower lip.

"Bye, Emma. Don't be a stranger, okay?"

Emma nodded in agreement, as she massaged her temples and blinked miserably at the baby migraine she could feel coming on.

After this little conversation with Mr. Gold, she might be coming back to finish off the entire bottle of liquid fire. But for now, she would merely see how it played out.

The woman exited back out into the cold, rainy day, and rushed to her yellow bug, with a new blaze burning within her deep green eyes.

She couldn't back down now.

She wouldn't.

It was nearly eight o'clock by the time Emma pulled open Gold's shop door, and the little bell rang overhead. But unlike every other time the sheriff had set foot into the establishment, the pawnbroker was no where in sight. And after a moment of standing by the door, listening and waiting, Emma decided that Gold was either ignoring her, or wasn't there.

"He won't get rid of me that easily," Emma thought as she closed the door behind her, and moved farther into the dimly lit room. "I'm not leaving until I have answers."

The sheriff let her gaze wander, and quietly took in the shop and its contents. It seemed that Gold had acquired more items since her last visit. Or at least, that's what it looked like. Though it was hard to tell when there were so many trinkets to begin with. From books, to glass objects, to instruments, furniture, knick-knacks and keys, Mr. Gold had everything. There was even an exact replica of the Mickey Mouse hat from the Sorcerer's Apprentice.

Emma looked around at all the items and wondered how on earth Gold could keep track of so many things, and still manage to keep any order to his shop. And just as she thought of him, the owner of Storybrooke came from around the curtain that covered the entrance to the back room, with his cryptic smile and high bearing set firmly in place.

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear," the woman thought with mild humor before she was snapped back into reality by Gold's smooth brogue addressing her.

"Good morning, Miss Swan," he greeted cordially, as he took his regular place behind his counter. "I apologize for making you wait. I had a new shipment come in and was momentarily preoccupied."

Emma nodded to him, to show that she didn't mind and he steepled his hands together.

"So, Sheriff, what can I do for you at this early hour of the morning?"

Emma kept her impassive expression in check as she moved forward to stand directly before him. Noting how he watched her, and absently licked his lips.

"We need to talk," was all she said, which made him smirk.

"About what?"

This gave Emma pause. Rumpelstiltskin had said that Gold would bring it up first, and that he would know why she had come. Did this mean that Gold didn't know about the imp in her dreams? Well, she was apparently as mentally unhinged and in need of more help than she had first supposed. What had she been thinking running over here at top speed before breakfast or a proper shower?

"You don't know why I'm here," she asked hesitantly, as her eyebrows crinkled in confusion.

Gold studied the woman for several long moments before he gave her lopsided grin. "I suppose I do have some inclination as to why you would come to my shop before I was open for the day, looking like the very devil himself was after you."

Emma felt her stomach clench in relief, before she frowning. Why wasn't he saying the words she wanted him to say? This wasn't how it was supposed to happen! Gold should have told her that Rumpelstiltskin was real by now, so she could be over and done with it. And yet he stood there, staring at her as if he was waiting for her to say something.

After several more minutes of silence, Gold straightened himself and placed something he had been holding on top of the glass counter. To Emma's surprise, it was a little intricately crafted swan, made out of gold and silver. The details were exquisite, and made the bird look as if it would break if handled without the proper care.

"Well, Miss Swan," Mr. Gold said calmly, as he absently stroked the swan's little folded wings. "I'm afraid that your visit has been in vain."

Emma's looked at him with a scowl, as his words sunk in. "Excuse me?"

Gold met her green eyes with his own unwavering, deep brown ones. "Despite what you may hope, I cannot help you. . . Emma."

Emma felt her spine tingle, and she shivered involuntarily. Why did he have to say her name like . . .that? It was almost like he got pleasure out of drawing it out as long as possible. As if it actually meant something.

"What are you talking about, Gold?" The sheriff said, recovering herself as soon as she was physically able. Putting on a facade of control that she didn't feel.

Gold took the little golden swan in his hand and turned his back to her, placing the figurine back in its place on one of his well-stocked shelves.

"Until you are ready to accept and believeeverything about your past and the curse, I cannot help you."

Gold turned back around, his hands resting on the head of his cane, as he observed the woman who was currently staring at him with wide eyes.

Emma felt as if she were on a roller-coaster and it had stalled on the highest part of the ride, upside down. Gold believed in Henry's curse? He actually believed?

Mr. Gold continued as if he hadn't noticed Emma stiffen at his mention of the Dark Curse. "It's useless to continue on from this point- to give you the knowledge you seek - until you have realized what it is you're fighting for."

"I'm fighting for Henry!" Emma snarled angrily, her light green eyes shining dangerously, but the pawnbroker merely shook his head.

"It is not enough," he said firmly. "That is only the starting point."

"Bullshit," Emma growled. "Stop these mind games! Help me! Tell me that you know why I'm here!"

Gold gazed at her, seeming to calculate something before he spoke. "What is it you want?"

Emma visibly shook as tears filled her eyes, her voice angry enough to have scared a weaker soul than Gold. "I want to stop all this madness! I want to make Regina pay for killing Henry! I want to go back in time and push the kid away when I had the chance! And I want to know, why!?"

"Why what?" His voice was barely above a whisper, but to Emma, it was as though it echoed throughout her mind. Which successfully made her that much angrier, as she felt her walls once more crumble to ashes. She was sick and tired of the hand she had been dealt! She was weary of having to fight for every little crumb in her life! It had to stop!

"I want to know why my life isn't my own!" Emma barked furiously. "I want to know why you've always been there! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!? I'M BETTER OFF ALONE!"

Emma breathed in a loud, shaky breath as she recovered from her sudden outburst, and looked up at the pawnbroker who stood across from her. Why on earth had she just implied that it was Gold in her dreams? It was Rumpelstiltskin that had been with her since the beginning. It was the shadowy figure that haunted her past that had known her since she was a child. It was the goldish-gray imp of a man, that had giggled and comforted her from the start. Not Mr. Gold.

Emma put a shaky hand up to her temple and was about to correct herself, but stopped cold when she saw Gold's expression. His face was a mask of emotions: pain, confusion, awe, joy, regret, and something else that was unidentifiable to the young woman. But it made her breath catch in her throat, and halted her anger instantly.

That face. . . She knew that face.

All the color drained from the woman's complexion as her conversation with Rumpelstiltskin rushed back to her.

"You needed me more than I ever could have imagined. . . How could I leave you when you always begged me to stay?"

"You never left me, because you are my dream." Emma countered solemnly, forcing herself to don a mask of indifference and keep her body language to a minimum.

"I never left you, because you are mine."

. . . .

"There's someone you know," the imp said with a small giggle. "Someone who can vouch for me and put your doubts to rest!"

"In the real world?" Emma added skeptically, to which Rumpelstiltskin nodded impatiently.

"Yes, yes! A 'weal' person who I am well acquainted with!"

Rumpelstiltskin had been leaving her clues all along. He had been speaking about himself!

Gold was silent for several long moments before he lifted his dark brown eyes to meet hers. And as they did, Emma felt a warmth begin to spread over her body. It was a feeling that she had felt many times in her 28 years of life. It was heat, beyond multiple layers of clothing, or summer weather. It was the magical warmth of security, friendship, and comfort. Something that seemed so foreign in her waking hours, and so near in her dreams. It was the feeling she always got when she was around him.

Emma looked at Gold with wide, teary eyes and shook her head, her voice coming out choked and small. "No. . . No. It isn't possible."

Gold didn't deny nor did he confirm. But as he watched her confusion grow to the point of another eruption of emotion, he spoke. Though instead of his usual confident eloquence, the man's voice had taken on a deeper and more emotional tone.

"You and I were connected long before you ever drew your first breath, Emma. And we will shall be linked until the day one of us dies."

Emma's eyes frantically took in the weathered plains of his face and saw the familiar twinkle shining there. It was him and yet not. The same features and expressions, but different skin, clothes, eyes, and bearing. Gold was a human mask of her midnight friend. How did she miss such similarities upon meeting him? How was any of this possible.

As if he could read her mind, Gold answered her unspoken question with an affection that was absolutely foreign for the pawnbroker.

"You were given to me, to protect," the man explained with a semblance of tenderness that made Emma's gut clench. "By someone who loved you very much."

Emma willed her mouth to speak the questions that were begging to be answered, but she found the words stuck in her throat. And Gold, sensing her inability, moved from behind the counter and placed his arm around her shoulder. Emma looked at him and felt a quiet sob escape past her lips as a hint of golden-gray flashed through the man's eyes for the briefest of moments. Rumpelstiltskin. . . her night guardian was there gazing back at her. Real and breathing. . . He was truly there with her. Flesh and blood, magic and power. Two startling personas wrapped into one extraordinary being.

The woman hesitantly lifted her hand and placed her palm on Gold's cheek, seeming unsure, yet unable to refrain. He turned into the touch and closed his eyes with a light sigh and a small smile.

"It really is you. . . isn't it?" Emma asked in astonishment, making Gold look at her.

"Yes, dearie," he said comfortingly. "It's me."

"Gol-. . . Rumpelstiltskin. . ."

Mr. Gold hummed in appreciation and gave Emma an encouraging smile, as some of the color seemed to come back to her pale cheeks. Seeing that she was slowly recovering from the shock, he decided to take the next step. Holding out his free hand he said, "I will answer all your questions and show you everything, Emma. If it is what you truly want. You need only take my hand."

Emma thought for only a brief moment before she placed her hand in Rumpelstiltskin's. For how could she not? There was no turning back now. Because she knew that she had found the path to truth.

Author's Note:

I have rewritten this several times and I can't seem to find a happy medium for it, so I'm posting as is. Hopefully you guys aren't too turned off, by the suckiness that is this chapter. I apologize. Cross your fingers that the next one will be better. . . ^^;

Well Emma knows the truth about Rum and Gold now. What will she do? What will Gold show her? And will she finally accept that she is the Savior? (Ummm. . . Hell Yes?) XD

Thanks for all the love for this story guys! You are all amazing! (The reviews have been great!)

~Lyn Harkeran