A/N: Well, there has been a lot of help in me finally posting this. I have to give the biggest shout-out to my amazing beta for this, and an amazing guy and friend, AirNationOracle. Check out his stuff! It is amazing and I highly recomend it for anyone who ships Hevans. Another shout-out to an amazing encouraging writer and friend, XxBlackShadowMagicxX check out her stuff too. Now nothing else to say, on to the story!
Sebastian walked into Shooting Star, a bar much like Scandals except for one thing: the selection was much better, meaning that there were no undesirable men here. Thursday night meant that it was karaoke night and Sebastian came to party because Shooting Star was known for glitter bombing the really good ones. That's what he wants: a partner equal to him in looks and talent.
Looking around the place he noticed that it was fairly full and the dance floor packed. The sweaty bodies packed so close together for maximum emphasis that one isn't dancing alone, that one is desired; at least for a quick grinding if not more.
Exactly what Sebastian needed so his first stop was to the dance floor instead of the bar. A few songs pass by in a blur; every song has a new partner. The first song has him dancing with a pretty face, one that could rival any Hollister model, and yet no sustenance. His dancing was subpar and Sebastian left him readily enough. The next few followed suit, slowly getting sloppier and more forward with their acts of trying to get Sebastian to stay.
The last dancer, Sebastian didn't even look at his face, though it would have been hard to because the boy was facing away. He pulled the unknown dancer back by his hips slowly until there was barely any space between them. Guiding with his own hips and hands Sebastian danced with him for a full song before actually looking at the boy.
The hair, coiffed just so, was a color he knew very well though he couldn't immediately place it. He reached his hand up, unconsciously, to run his fingers through the hair. He didn't get very far, though, before a sharp slap brought him to his senses.
"Who the hell do you think you are to touch my hair? Dancing is one thing mister, but –" the boy's voice is so familiar, so inviting, even when pulling the bitch tone that made it famous.
Kurt.
The reason Sebastian was here tonight instead of his usual hideout. Could he not get away from this kid? Wasn't it enough to completely tear Sebastian apart and completely change him for the better and for the worst until he could barely recognize himself? Sebastian involuntarily takes a sharp step back and this startled Kurt enough to make him turn around and, upon seeing Sebastian, turn instantly mute.
The tears started to build up behind Kurt's eyes. He came here because he didn't want to take Sebastian's old haunt away from him. Kurt knew how much Sebastian loved to drown himself in mindless, no-strings attached sex and alcohol. Kurt spent forever agonizing where to go without running into him but Sebastian didn't need to know that.
Kurt's eyes locked onto Sebastian's but Sebastian couldn't even bring himself to look at the boy with the broken heart. It wasn't his fault; it was the circumstances, the whole situation.
Sebastian turned around wordlessly and tried to leave but Kurt had a different plan. He grabbed a hold of Sebastian's hand and dragged him outside the club.
"Let go!" Sebastian hissed, but he was ignored. Kurt led him away from the club and took a sharp left into an empty alleyway. Sebastian ripped his hand away and folded his arms across his chest. If Kurt was going to drag him out here against his will, there better have been damn good reasons.
Kurt stood there, fiddling with his jacket for a moment before taking a deep breath and looking at Sebastian. He opened his mouth to speak but Sebastian cut him off.
"Here to demand answers? There's nothing else but what you already know. I couldn't be with you anymore. I couldn't deal with everyone hating on us and making you so upset that you took it out on me." Sebastian smirked darkly. "I'm not able to take it back. I was in a relationship with such a drama queen that couldn't even look at me without looking in a mirror first to know what he looked like." That wasn't true at all; Sebastian noticed that Kurt was at his most vulnerable with the whole looks thing when he was dating him. "I was sick of you toying with Anderson of all people, when I was right there in front of you." Blaine wasn't even a thought, he knew that. "I didn't want a little boy who couldn't be with me." Kurt flinched at those last words. That was true; Kurt wanted to take it slow because he knew that Sebastian had used sex in the place of love. Kurt wanted to show Sebastian that that wasn't the right way.
That was too much for Sebastian. He had to get out before he screwed it up. He didn't want to hurt the most important person in his life. That is why he left Kurt. He saw how much it hurt Kurt to have to drive hours just to see him. He saw how drained Kurt was while trying to get everything ready for college, for NYADA and for Parsons. He didn't want to be another stress in Kurt's life. He wanted to let him go because he knew that he wasn't cut out for relationships. He wasn't able to do the long distance that they would need because Sebastian was going to go to Harvard, just like his parents wanted.
Yes, he wanted to go to New York with Kurt. Yes, he wanted to see Kurt's every dream come true, but that wasn't going to happen and he had to get over it. Yes, he wanted to go to NYU, but his parents didn't want him to. They didn't like Kurt. They didn't agree with Sebastian's life choices because being gay was a choice.
No, he didn't want to hurt Kurt. This was only the lesser of two evils, in Sebastian's mind. Minimize how much Kurt gets hurt, because he knows how much his parents hating their relationship would hurt Kurt.
Sebastian opens his mouth to continue his one-sided rant but Kurt strides over quickly and slaps him with the palm of his hand. The sharp sting shocks Sebastian into submissive silence.
"Shut up you smarmy little brat. You think that I was a little boy because I waited for you to become completely ready? Fine, go ahead. You think that I was flirting around with Blaine?" He shrieks the name. "Blaine! Seriously, go ahead I won't be able to change your mind obviously. Call me a self-absorbed bitch? Whatever, I've heard worse and it doesn't hurt me. I know I'm a little hard to handle, but you know exactly why I am the way I am." Kurt takes two steps back and that hurts Sebastian worse than everything else, the fact that he actually succeeded in pushing away the only good thing in his life. "I am self-conscious of my looks, my fashion choices prove that! Every layer of clothing is a layer of armor that protects me from the fucking Neanderthal football players! Maybe not physically, but mentally, and that's what matters." Kurt takes a deep breath and leans against the brick wall directly across from where Sebastian is standing.
"Go ahead, use your worst insults. Bring up the ugly memories. Use my past to hurt me. But never, ever again say that I took my hatred out on you. YOU are the only one I never freaked out on. YOU are the only one that calmed me down. Do you know why?" Every sentence was a sharp knife into Sebastian's heart.
"Kurt," Sebastian's broken voice forces out. That one word makes Kurt's whole face soften for a brief moment.
"Sebastian, I loved you. I love you. I always will. Go ahead and throw Blaine in my face, but that will never measure to you. Throw my stupid fling with Sam in my face; I know all he used me for was to figure out his bisexuality. I know he didn't want me. Finn, I know how fucked up my little crush was on him, have anything about that?"
Kurt paused, waiting for Sebastian's rebuttal. Nothing came, yet he still waited. Five slow, agonizing moments passed before Kurt took a steady breath.
"Sebastian, please. I don't understand what I did to you that made you break my heart. I love you; I gave you everything that I could. My hopes and my dreams and I thought that you would be there for me, through everything. Why?"
Sebastian turns his head so that Kurt can't see the pain filling them. He tries to take a breath to prepare himself to hurt the one he loves again, and yet he can't bring himself to do it. It may have been because Kurt was right. He was always right.
"Sebastian. Talk to me, baby, please." It might have been Kurt calling him baby. It may have been because of Kurt crossing the distance and grabbing his hands. It may have been the tight hug he couldn't ignore. Or maybe it was Kurt turning his head to face him.
Maybe it was everything. Whatever it was, Sebastian couldn't help what happened next.
"I can't… Kurt I don't know how to do this. This is the scariest thing I've ever done in my life, getting involved with you. You saw me underneath everything I put out there. The snark, the mean, the slut. You climbed over my walls that have been there since I was shipped to France. You made me care, and care so much so quickly that it scared me. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know anything with you around! And my parents! They don't want me going anywhere near New York because they don't approve of us. And I can't go to NYU because of that." Sebastian said in a rush, so fast Kurt could barely keep up. Sebastian was proud of himself, though, with his ability to keep the tears at bay.
"Sebastian, you think I know what I'm doing? That anybody knows what they're doing? No! It's called love. It's different for everybody and there is no right way to do it. There is, however, a wrong way and you've stumbled upon it again!"
"What gave you that idea, Gay Face?" The name comes as a defense, unbidden by Sebastian.
"That's another example of you going wrong. But I still loved you. That's the only difference, here Bas."
"I'm sorry. I—you know I didn't mean that. I've never meant that." Sebastian says uncertainly.
"Come, come with me. I don't want to miss my turn to sing karaoke, and I have the perfect song to sing." Kurt says quietly, smiling but still asking for him to stay. Not to leave again.
"Singing. Again? There really must be something wrong with that high school of yours if it's the only way to get your feelings out." Sebastian said exasperated. Still, he waves his hands, signaling Kurt to lead the way. Kurt smiles but doesn't move. Sebastian grabs his hand and pulls him back; following the path Kurt lead them down. "Come on little one, wouldn't want you to miss that spot you've probably been coveting all night."
Kurt just giggles quietly, following Sebastian.
Once inside the club again, Kurt leaves Sebastian to go tell the impromptu DJ what instrumentals to play. He gets onto the stage and stands quietly, waiting for his mark to go.
"Oh, nowhere left to go,
Are we getting closer, closer?
No, all we know is no,
Nights are getting colder, colder."
He begins quietly. His voice sounds like it will break with any inkling of stress. He looks at the ground, and takes a deep breath.
"Hey,
Tears all fall the same,
We all feel the rain,
we can't change."
His voice grows so much stronger as he looks up to sing at me. Tears pool at the corner of his eyes and yet he still goes on.
"Everywhere we go,
We're looking for the sun,
Nowhere to grow old,
And always on the run,
They say we'll rot in hell."
He shakes his head so violently; tears begin to slide down his face.
"But I don't think we will,
they've branded us enough,
Outlaws of Love."
Whispering again, he looks down at the ground before looking up towards Sebastian and beaming at him, letting him know that nothing will stop them.
"Scars make us who we are,
Hearts and homes are broken, broke."
Sebastian knows that those two lines are directed at him, and his fucked up family.
"Far, we could go so far,
with our minds wide open, open."
Kurt promises Sebastian that everything will be alright with the looks he gives him, encouraging him. Kurt takes the mic off the stand and hops off the stage. Taking purposeful strides he walks up to Sebastian.
"Hey,
Tears all fall the same,
we all feel the rain,
we can't change."
Grabbing Sebastian's hand, Kurt brings him back up to the stage, and they both sit on the edge, looking nowhere but each other's eyes.
"Everywhere we go,
We're looking for the sun,
Nowhere to grow old,
And always on the run,
They say we'll rot in hell,
But I don't think we will,
They've branded us enough."
Where the original song had Adam singing 'oh's Kurt takes the opportunity to kiss Sebastian, putting all of his passion, frustration, anger, and love into it. They don't break apart in time for Kurt to sing anything except the last broken line, whispered so quietly Sebastian can only feel Kurt's lips move against his.
"Outlaws of love."
They are so lost into each other that they don't even hear the thunderous noise that escapes the audience that had been watching them. The catcalls, jeering, clapping and wolf-whistles; all went unnoticed until the DJ had enough sense to tap Kurt on the shoulder.
Kurt jumped up, eyes wild and full of embarrassment and mirth.
"Come on, Sebastian. Dance with me?" Kurt asked. Sebastian shook his head and Kurt's eyes immediately fell.
"We're going to my car," Sebastian says instead, pulling Kurt behind him in his haste to get up and get out of the bar. Kurt just squeezes their hands together in agreement.
When they arrived at the car, Kurt looked at Sebastian and smirked. Sebastian's car was a red '05 Camero Convertible with white racing stripes.
"We're here, now what?" Sebastian's eyebrow rose.
"Well, we have a few options. We have my car, my house, your house, and the motel. Which would you prefer to go to work in?"
"Bas!" Kurt giggled wildly before becoming seriously thoughtful. "The car is a big no-no for our first time. My house is out; Burt is there. Your house? I like that best because I'm not going to a trashy motel to 'get our mack on' as Santana would say." Kurt says.
"If you say so then so shall it be." Kurt just laughs before running around to the passenger side and jumping over the car door.
"Can you do that?" He asks smartly.
"Right now I'd rather get home as soon as possible. And in the condition I'm in, I don't know if jumping over the car door would be so good." He says, gesturing at the growing erection in his pants.
Kurt nods his head and motions for Sebastian to get his ass in gear.
In no time at all Sebastian has them pulling up his driveway. When he parks, Kurt goes to unbuckle his seatbelt but Sebastian stops him with his hand.
"Kurt," Sebastian's voice is quiet and serious. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, don't do this because you are upset or want to prove something to me, please?"
Kurt looks at him steadily. Staring.
"Sebastian, do you think so low of me?" Kurt says eventually. Sebastian instantly looks contrite.
"No."
"Then keep your fat mouth shut before you say something you'll regret," Kurt says, before breaking the role he was playing and grabbing Sebastian by the shirt to drag him in for a passionate kiss full of promise.
Sebastian smiles against Kurt's lips while unbuckling both of them. He pulls away and gets out of the car to lead Kurt in the house.
Kurt pauses in the hallway to Sebastian's room. Sebastian turns around to see Kurt staring at a family picture of the Smythes' on the wall. In the picture Mr. Smythe and Mrs. Smythe are sitting on the couch and Sebastian standing stiffly behind them. The photo itself is all harsh light and cold feeling, but when you look into their eyes you can see that there was no love there, no real family. It was all for show. That hurt Kurt more than he could ever let Sebastian know.
"Come on Kurt, it's okay. And my room is right down here." Sebastian says as he opens a door on the right side of the hallway. Kurt enters the room and instantly looks shy.
"Uh," he started.
Sebastian took a step forward, "You still want to dance, Kurt?" he asks with a smile on his face.
Kurt smiled and nodded. Sebastian walked towards him and took his hand. He grabbed the front of his pants with one hand and took Kurt's waist with the other, letting go of his hand. He pulled him in close and buried his face in Kurt's neck, inhaling the scent that is indescribable and always simply Kurt. Vanilla and something tangy like lemons mixed with the pure scent of, although feminine, boy.
Sebastian worked his way up Kurt's neck, slowly pressing open mouthed kisses along the way. Upon arriving at his mouth, Kurt let out a groan that instantly sent all Sebastian's blood to his dick. Sebastian's sweet, hot breath made Kurt's skin tingle.
"N-not ready," Kurt managed to say. Sebastian smirked.
"Oh? Then what to do," He whispered as he slipped his hand down Kurt's pants slightly, pulling the purple dress shirt up.
"Bas…" Kurt moaned.
Sebastian un-tucked the offending shirt and unbuttoned it while kissing his neck. Kurt, tempted, did the same to Sebastian's simple gray vest. Sebastian threw his vest off and lifted the simple black t-shirt up over his head, exposing well developed chest and abdominal muscles. A trail of light brown hair leads from his belly button into the edge of his pants. He slid his hands over Kurt's shoulder, pushing his shirt off and onto the ground.
"Seb—" Kurt tried as Sebastian began to kiss his neck and chest again. "Seb-Bastian," Kurt moaned as Sebastian dropped to his knees and began kissing Kurt around his pants line. "My- my God!"
Sebastian stood up and stared Kurt in his eyes. Their lips so close that when he talked, they brushed against each other.
"When I make love to you, I expect you to call me by my name, not God, kay?" He smirks. Kurt smacks his shoulder lightly and laughs.
"Kiss me," Sebastian whispers. Kurt leaned in with his lips partially open and pressed his hot lips against Sebastian's, Sebastian opened and closed his mouth slowly. He pulled Kurt closer, their bare chests and waists pressing against each other. Kurt's hand explored every inch of Sebastian's torso.
They stay intertwined until Kurt pulls away and drops to his knees. Looking up at Sebastian he winks and leans in to run his tongue around the top of Sebastian's jeans and slightly in. He gently unbuttons them and pulls the zipper down. Sebastian joins Kurt on his knees and leans forward, pushing Kurt until he was lying down. Sebastian climbs on top of Kurt.
"I love you," they whisper at the same time, looking into each other's eyes before laughing at the irony.
I'd love to hear what you think! Reviews please? Thanks for reading!