* I do not own H. P. I do not profit from this.

* I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey. I do not profit from this.

Chapter 1 - Midnight Rambler

I don't even bother looking in the mirror. My hair has a mind of its own, stupid genetics. I put on my glasses and make an assessment. I guess I look the same as I always do, glasses, unruly hair and lightning bolt scar, check. I'm known for my unruly hair just as much as I'm known for my scar.

Damn Hermione for having cramps. She had to pick this moment to act like a real girl. I should be studying for my NEWTS instead of trying to charm my hair into submission. Hermione with her ill-timed cycle is making me interview Severus Snape.

The man hates me for no other reason than just existing. He hated my father and now he hates me. Hermione is doing a research paper on a man that hates all of Gryffindor and me most of all.

As a successful Potion's Master and Hogwarts teacher his time is very valuable, but somehow Hermione pulled some strings and got the most cantankerous man alive to agree to an interview. She has written out the questions that I am to ask him and charmed a quill to record the whole ordeal.

He has even agreed to do the interview in the Astronomy Tower, so that it will be on neutral ground. I am so relieved that I don't have to go down to the dungeons.-I shudder at the thought.

I make my way to the Astronomy Tower and walk through the door staring at Hermione's Notes.

"Good day Mr. Potter"

Damn the purr of his voice always knocks me off my guard. I am so startled; I trip over my own feet and over the ledge of the Astronomy Tower. I am surely a goner-

When a strong hand pulls me back in. I am in shock and utter dismay. Severus Snape just saved my life. The greasy old git, that makes my life miserable, has saved my life. I bite my lip and I am utterly speechless.

"Don't bite your lip Potter. It is a nasty habit, and a simple thank you would suffice."

Words drip out of this man like blood, it's intoxicating. I finally find my voice.

"Right, um, yes sir, thank you."

Out of his billowing robes, he pulls out his wand. Suddenly I think he's going to curse me. But to my amassment the three pictures on the wall are transfigured into a desk and two chairs.

"Let's get this started, shall we."

"Oh yes, sir of course."

"My time is very valuable Potter. I do not have the time to sit around and chit-chat."

I set the Self-recording quill on the desk with a blank parchment and gaze at Hermione's notes.

"By the way, what happened to Granger? I thought the famous Mr. Potter would be busy saving a damsel in distress. Not doing Granger's busy work, and certainly not studying for your upcoming Newts"

The acid and scowl deep in his voice oozes out. I swear this man makes me so nervous. It's like all the hairs in my body are sticking up. I find courage deep from inside me and look him square in the eyes.

"Hermione is indisposed; er she is not feeling well. And I do study you know. I'm not an idiot."

I can't believe it; a smile actually forms on this man's face. I have never ever seen him smile.

"I never said you were an idiot Potter."

I flush an I am actually sweating bullets. I push my bangs unsuccessfully off my forehead, and they just fall back down- plastered to my face.

"Good, so you agree." biting my lip, "I have some questions professor Snape."

"I thought you might", he says dead pan. That voice is driving me crazy. And who knew that Severus Snape had a sense of humor.

"Question one- Besides being a Potion's Master at Hogwarts, you constantly invent and sell potions to apothecaries around England."

Snape interrupts, "That's not a question Potter."

"But I wasn't finished."

"Well get on with it then. I am a very busy man Potter."

"You started your potion's side business at a very young age. To what do you owe your success?"

"Potions are not just about the ingredients you use. It's about people. You always have to know your consumer. And I am very good at judging people. I know how they tick, what makes them flourish, and what makes them self- destruct. "He pauses and fixes me with an obsidian stare, " My belief is to achieve success in any scheme, one has to make oneself the master of that scheme. Know it inside and out, know every detail. I believe that one has to work very hard to achieve success- Not have everything thrown at your feet"

I blanch at his emphasis on 'Your'. I am intrigued by this enigma before me and pose a question of my own.

"Do you feel Hogwarts is holding you back? Er, would you be more successful if you were not teaching here?"

The beautiful man before me grips his wand and gives me a death stare.

"I have made a commitment to this school, and I honor my commitments."

I squirm under his gaze but continue, "Maybe it's the company you keep, that keeps you here."

Snape rolls his eyes and let's go of his wand.

"I have long learned from my mistakes. I have learned to make decisions based on logic and facts."

"Maybe you're just lucky."

His eyes flare monetarily in surprise.

"I do not subscribe to luck or chance Mr. Potter. And if anyone had it would be you."

I don't know if that was a compliment or a put down. You never know with the greasy old bastard.

"Has anyone ever called you a control freak?"

"Mr. Potter, are you trying to lose points?"

"I'm sorry sir, no disrespect meant by it."

Steadying his gaze towards me, like he's borrowing a hole into my soul, "I exercise control in all things, Mr. Potter."

"Surely not all things Sir.?"

"You are correct; some things are out of my control. That is why I strive to control all the things that I can."

My heartbeat quickens, and my face flushes again. Why does he have such an unnerving effect on me? It is not his looks. I don't know what it is. I must be going mad. I just find him so damn sexy.

I decide to change the subject, "Do you have any interests outside of potions?"

"I have varied interests Mr. Potter."

A ghost of a smile touches his lips. The second time Severus Snape has smiled. It's amazingly beautiful the way his mouth curves at the corners. What I could do with this mouth.

"Very varied"

"But if you work so hard, what do you do to chill out?"

"Chill out?"

"Well to 'chill out' as you put it- I read, I fly, I indulge in various physical pursuits"

Looking at Hermione's notes, I gasp. I wish I could curse her.

"Would your friends say you're easy to get to know?"

I regret the question as soon as I say it.

"I'm a very private person, Mr. Potter. I go a long way to protect my privacy. I do not often give interviews."

"Why did you agree to do this one?"

"You might say I owe Dumbledore a favor or two."

"Professor Dumbledore arranged this?"

"How very astute or you Mr. Potter"

There he is calling me an idiot again. How does he sound so sexy as he insults me? I have a very huge problem south of the border right now. I hope he does not notice. I would never be able to face him again. Despite this, I peruse Hermione's notes and continue on.

"Do you have a guiding principal?"

"The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you."- Tony Robbins

"You quoted a muggle?"

"Mr. Potter, Not all Slytherins are bigoted against muggles."

That stern voice oozes out of those lips. Damn those lips. I cannot keep still in my chair.

"You don't have a family", I blurt out, and of course he doesn't. Who would want to be related to him?

"That's not a question", he sneers.

"Sorry"

I squirm. I am just a teenager; I don't have this much self control. I might come at any minute.

"I am not interested in families. They have thus far, failed me."

"Are you gay Professor Snape?"

Damn, why did I ask him this question. My hormones are getting the better of me. I grip my chair.

"These are Miss Granger's questions?"

I just stare and nod my head.

"My sexual proclivities are a matter of public record, Mr. Potter. I am a homosexual. Did the muggles teach you to hate my kind? It's alright; a little hatred is good for a person."

"What? No on the contrary, that is just fine by me."

Crap, Did I just say it was fine by me. Why do I have to be a horny teenager right now? Just then there is a knock at the door. It is headmaster Dumbledore, always with a gleam in his eye.

"Severus, Lucious Malfoy requests an audience in your private quarters."

"We're not fished here, Albus. Please tell him I must cancel."

"Very well Severus", and then he exits with a knowing smile on his face.

"Where were we Mr. Potter?"

"Please don't let me keep you from anything."

"Harry, I want to know about you. I think that it is only fair."

He said my name. He said my name. Say it again!

"There's not much to know that's not in the public record that is."

"What are your plans post Hogwarts?"

"I haven't made any plans, Professor. I'm just trying to survive."

"I could always use an apprentice."

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. Is he offering me a job?

"Oh, I'll bear that in mind. Though I'm not sure we would be suited."

"Why would you say that?"

He tilts his head to the side, intrigued, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

"It's obvious, isn't?"

"Not to me."

I have to go now. This is too much for me. Then suddenly I feel that pain in my scar. It's excruciating and suddenly everything turns black.

I wake up, my eyes filled with tears to see Snape grasping his arm.

"This interview is over Potter, I have business to attend to"

And just like that of a bat, he is gone.

The pain is so intense yet somehow my teenage libido has not gone away. I strain to push the pain down inside. Damn, I can't stop moving against his desk. It blocks the pain.

Yes, yes, suddenly I get a flash of him- He's laughing. He's touching my Snape and he's laughing. I can't take it. I grab hold of my member through my clothes and cry out in pain and ecstasy. Then it's all over.

I lean back in my chair covered in sweat and come. Welcome to the life of Harry freaking Potter- Could I even get more fucked up than this?