Disclaimer: I wouldn't be here if I owned Bleach.

A/N: It is not a pairing, more of a possibility of what could have happened. I'm not sure if I got the essence of Riruka correct. Feedback is appreciated.

Riruka had always viewed with ambivalence the man named Tsukishima Shukuro.

Hell, not that she was exactly fond of the other Xcution members either. But Tsukishima...he had both repelled and fascinated her. As the other leader alongside Ginjo, she had had ample opportunity to observe him.

Observations that were terrifying, to say the least. Resultantly she had come to hate his powers as much as she loathed Jackie, albeit less overtly.

Astute as he was, Tsukishima had been aware of her impressions of him. And as expected, he never brought it up. Instead he took to mentoring her, treating her like an indulgent child.

Or so as she thought.

...

The little regard she had for him as a person had been nearly destroyed the day he chose to make her a victim of his manipulative powers. Hardly a flattering prospect, despite being his colleague. It was his wont to do – playing with people's feelings, twisting their memories into stories of his liking; their pasts marked with his indelible presence.

And Tsukishima became Riruka's first crush.

She consciously chose to forget that day. Much to her annoyance, she could never recall how she had been cut by that sword of his. It must have been when she was asleep – for no sooner had she laid eyes upon him that day than the memories of her first crush – of Tsukishima – came flooding back. In her growing disorientation coupled with the heady feeling of having found something she could not have before, she pulled him into her Dollhouse.

It did not take long for the illusion to shatter, however, when she saw not the frightened, perplexed face of her crush but the smiling countenance of Tsukishima.

Maybe that was what helped him to make the Love Gun for her. The gift she had rather grudgingly accepted (she could not ascertain his motive behind the gesture) along with the following words:

"In some ways you're lucky, Riruka, for being able to possess the things you desire. Well, this device should help you use that trait to your advantage."

And what if I chose to confine you, Tsukishima? Or would you manipulate your way out of that as well?

It was then that Riruka knew that even if she could accept Tsukishima completely, she would never want to possess him. He would be the undoing of everything her universe stood for.

...

Thanks to the deceptive effects of the Book of the End, maybe that was why Riruka had not – could not – considered killing Tsukishima despite having him at gunpoint, despite a part of her wishing to get even, to rid herself of the vestiges of his spell, his false charm.

Despite being stabbed by him in the heart.

It was not enough, nevertheless, to stop her from trying to protect Ichigo.

In the end, Riruka did the very same thing Tsukishima had been trying to prevent. Not that it made a difference – Ginjo had been dead by then and further killing would have only been gratuitous.

Also, the look in Tsukishima's eyes. She saw not the rage nor the anguish but only the dying hope. Hope that he could be the one she would choose to possess.

Contrary to her perceptions, redemption was not foreign to Tsukishima.

But she could not have saved him. No one could have saved him.