A/n: Do not own. This is chapter 50. Probably the longest chapter I've ever written. Content warnings. It does contain several mentions of sexual abuse, some mention of war/torture near the very end during a flashback, a PTSD moment, and lots of medical stuff including a very realistic allergic reaction. Chapter starts where the last one ended. X's are scene breaks. Italics during PTSD scenes are flashbacks/past conversations. : : is sign language. As always, use your words. -Case
-x-
"Shower, then after we get some coffee and food into you, we will talk." Hagrid order, directing the younger man toward his bathroom. He ignored the glare, turning back toward the stove.

"I'm fine." Paul grumbled, rubbing his head. He had a headache and the beginnings of a hangover. The thought of food made him nauseous.

"You're not. Go. You'll feel better." He replied briskly, not bothering to turn around.

He mumbled a few choice words under his breath but at least it was Hagrid he was dealing with and not Eric. Shit. Eric was going to be pissed. Not that he wasn't mad enough at himself for the both of them. He staggered into the bathroom, groaning when he realized a set of clothes had already been sent over and laid out for him. It wasn't like Paul was under any illusions. While he had held a small hope that no one knew he had gone off and gotten drunk, instead of doing what he should have done, he had known that at least Alexis was likely to know where he had spent the night. She always seem to know where every person in the castle was, whether they wanted her to or not. But there was nothing he could do about that now except take a shower..

-x-

"So he went out and got drunk?"

"That about sums it up." Eric sighed, taking a sip of his tea. This wasn't really a social call and both men knew it, as much as he wished it could be.

"How are you officially handling this?" Kenny asked casually, regarding the other man for a moment before taking another bite of his breakfast. Usually when Eric called him, it was for Eric. Who else was he going to go to, after all? They had a deal, have had it for years. He called Eric, Eric called him. And he understood completely why Eric had called him but he wasn't so sure the young man he had met just a couple of times now would trust him enough to talk to him.

That was where they were having a problem. Alexis didn't agree with him. While she was the headmistress, he was the head healer and outranked her. "We haven't decided yet."

"I'm sorry?"

"The Headmistress of the school has some say in it as she runs the school and she technically employs all the counselors. We don't agree just yet. We will. The headmistress happens to be my stubborn daughter. She'll see it my way eventually." He replied, setting his fork down.

He snorted, shaking his head. He could see how well that would end for the girl. He had heard many stories of the young woman. "Don't you out-rank her, Eric?" If he remembered correctly in their world, doctors had ranks and Eric was among the highest of those.

"Yes, but I try not to remind her of that...too often." He knew Paul was feeling guilt, even if that guilt was unfounded. Why else would he break his sobriety? He couldn't handle his own emotions. He remembered all too well that period of self-destructed behaviour. If he hadn't had a master who held him accountable, he never would have made it as far as he did. He knew it needed to be handled and soon but Alexis didn't agree with him. She believed that since Paul didn't do anything wrong, punishing him would make him feel like he did. He knew she would come to realize he was right soon enough, but he rather it be before someone got hurt.

"Unofficially, I'm assuming, is where I come in. Is he still at the school?" Kenny asked quietly, after a moment. While he had never been to Hogwarts, his cousin had told him it was beautiful. While he wasn't magical, two of his cousins had been and their family had taken him in as a teenager so he had known about the magical world long before meeting Eric. It did make his friendship with Eric much simpler though.

"He is. If you don't have any plans, I can take you to the school. If you have other matters to handle, he can come to you." The second option would be harder and they both knew it.

He shook his head, biting back a chuckle. He didn't have anything planned today. The one day the kid decides to get drunk just so happens to be his day off. "I'm ready whenever you are, Eric. But I can't promise he's going to want to talk to me. I'll let you handle everything else for now but if I am going to take an active role in this kid's recovery, it'll be all in. You know that." He responded, waiting for the dark-skinned man's nodded before standing to leave with him. He had a young man to talk to after all.

-x-

"Where the hell is Eric?!"

Lucas raised an eyebrow, frowning at the brown-haired man carrying Lila on his hip through the floo. "He had to take care of something." He studied them for a moment before grimacing. Remus' arm was bleeding and the screaming girl on his hip was kicking and hitting him.

Of all the times! Of course she would choose to bite him when Eric wasn't around! Hopefully, Lila hadn't got any of his blood in her mouth. Remus honestly wasn't sure if she was screaming because she was mad at the rough way he picked her up or if she was still just mad at him. He had been working on her occupational therapy, because of course he was the only one certified in mundane occupational therapy. They had been doing buttons. Buttons! And she bit him.

She screamed again, kicking him hard in the stomach. She wanted down! She didn't want to work anymore! And Remus' hold had been tight! He had caught her hair! She was sure he hadn't meant to..but still!

"Lila...did you bite Remus?" Lucas asked, taking the child from the younger man and guiding both of them into an exam room. Of course she would bite a werewolf. She couldn't make anything easy. But then again, maybe Eric prepared for this? Since she did bite everyone.

She screeched again, kicking out at Lucas when he sat her down on the exam table. She didn't want to sit on the table! She wanted down! Now! "UHH!"

"I know you want down but first I need to check you over, alright? Make sure you didn't get sick when you bit Remus. That's why we told you to stop biting people. It can make you sick inside." Lucas stated briskly, placing a firm hand on her shoulder to keep her on the table. He didn't know how else to explain someone ingesting the blood of a werewolf to a ten year old. Usually it was the other way around. But Lila had been changing the way they thought and approached magic since she came to Hogwarts. He knew when the school year started, she was going to open a lot of minds to a different way of thinking. And that, in the wizarding community, was amazing.

She growled, kicking out again before hitting Lucas. She wasn't sick! She was fine! Remus wasn't different right now! He was the same as her, so she could bite him, right? Why didn't they UNDERSTAND?! She screeched again, swinging her arm out and trying to jerk away when Remus caught her hands between his.

"Lila, we do not hit. We know you are frustrated. But you are not voiceless. Remember? Lucas and I both can understand you. You are not alone. Talk to us." He soothed, ignoring the foot kicking into his stomach.

She grunted, glaring at him for a moment before tugging her hands away from him. When he let go, she hesitated, trying to figure out how to put words to what she wanted to say. Words never came easy, no matter what form they took, even if signing was her way of speaking. :Same:

:Same?: Lucas repeated, raising an eyebrow. He wasn't quite sure what she meant but he did know that she would tell them in her own way, if they gave her time.

:We same. Inside: She nodded, pointing first at herself and then at Remus.

Remus tilted his head for a moment before sniffing the child, which made her giggle, and sniffing the small bite marks on his arm. He blinked, frowning slightly. "Lila, how could you possible know that at this exact moment our blood is exactly the same? Barring that, how did you know that our blood was not the same?" He questioned quietly, although he knew the ten year old probably didn't have an answer for him.

:Never bite danger:

Lucas snorted, shaking his head. "Let's work on not biting anyone, but that is a good policy." It didn't answer the question and it left him with a lot more questions than answers. "Alright, I'm going to see if Eric by chance thought to get the anti-viral potion. Then we will run a sample of Lila's blood just to make sure and a dose of ant-viral, Lila can visit Emma while I patch Remus up. Sound good?" The twin glares he got at the almost made him chuckle. Almost. He knew Remus wasn't looking forward to this anymore than he was, but it would take two of them to get a sample of Lila's blood and then he would be examining the younger man to make sure she hadn't broken anything or managed to do anything other than bruise and bite him. Honestly, that little girl was strong for being so tiny.

Remus met his eyes for a moment before nodding. He knew that once they were done with this, he was going to probably take Lila back to her group or Jake, he wouldn't get anything else out of her today. He was lucky he got as much as he did before she started melting down as tired and cranky as she had been when she had been dropped off with him. But she hadn't wanted to talk about it, so instead she bit him. He had hope though, that eventually, one day, Lila would get to where she felt comfortable coming to them with her problems. That she would find her voice, in whatever form that was. And that eventually, she would stop biting and hitting. It was a work in progress, at least.

-x-

"Kylie...Kylie. Kylie. Stop. Kylie." She called for the seventh or eighth time. Bain had quickly taken Teddy down to the camp, so in was just her and the teenager. The girl hadn't been with them for even a full day yet and she was already exploding. Which was making her rethink her decision to move her down to the camp today. The only reason they hadn't put Kylie with the rest of the camp last night was because of how late they had gotten back, with the time differences and everything else that had been going on. "That is enough. Sit down now." She ordered firmly, catching the child's eyes at one of her rapid rampages.

She stilled, glancing at the older woman, forgetting about the shirt still in her hand. It shouldn't matter that she was throwing her own belongings! They were hers!

"Sit down, Kylie. I will not ask you again." She met dark eyes, raising an eyebrow at the younger woman until she looked away.

Kylie hesitated for a moment longer before sitting down in the armchair furthest from the headmistress. She knew better than to disobey that tone, no matter how much she wanted to. She had lived with dragon-riders long enough to know that no nonsense tone very well, it just usually wasn't directed at her.

Alexis took a moment to study the teenager, sighing softly. She was willing to bet that none of her former teachers or headmasters had ever noticed the child until she was in serious trouble. The only place Kylie had ever known discipline was the dragon reserves, which is why she spoke to her in the same tone she would have used if she was her healer on the islands. Angry apprentices react well to that tone and she had learned that fairly quickly when she was on the reserves. She had a feeling she knew what had set the child off but she did want to see if the girl would open up to her. Or go off on her. The second option was probably more likely. "I cannot help you if you do not talk to me."

"I don't want your damn help!" She wouldn't have came here if she knew things were going to change. When they talked yesterday, Alexis...no the Headmistress hadn't said anything about this. She hadn't said anything all! Neither had her brother! Why didn't anyone tell her anything!

"Kylie, you are not on the islands anymore. You are projecting. "Alexis warned quietly, not bothering to block out the shouting in her mind. She knew the girl literally couldn't help it right now. "Take a deep breath and tell me what we didn't tell you."

She growled, shoving her shields up as fast as she could. Not that it would do much good. She was angry. Her shields never wanted to stay up when she was angry. She had wanted Hogwarts to be different! She had wanted to be good here!

She sighed, standing slowly and going to crouch in front of the teenager. She ignored the slight flinch, refraining from touching her. "Take a deep breath for me. In. Out. In. Out. Good. Keep breathing. " She instructed softly, watching carefully as the girl's magic slowly pulled back into her control. Chris and Master Luka had warned her that the reserve's children often had trouble the first few days off the reserve with their magic. All of the children wore pendants that protected their minds from the dragons and the dragons from their minds, but the pendants also created barriers that helped reduced accidental magic and taught them control. Once they were off the islands, the pendants deactivated and they had to raise the barriers themselves. All children were taught occlumency at nine so that by the time they went off to school they could successfully do this on their own, they could have basic control of their own magic. They all still wore the pendants until they turned seventeen so they had to remember to raise the barriers back up once they left the islands and that took a few days of adjusting.

She kept breathing, reaching up to grasp the dragon pendant hanging around her neck. She forgot it wouldn't work here. One of the apprentices said the pendants made children lazy. She had never seen Master Luka pop somebody in public before, or call them an idiot. It didn't make her lazy; it made her feel safe. She just...never took it off. Because it reminded her of home. Could she still go home? What did that paper mean? Alexis had told her that she was there for her, in more ways than one, and that she could always ask her questions. Maybe she could? Maybe?

"Breathe, Kylie, breathe."

"My head..."

"I bet. Just breathe. In. And out. Let's center ourselves and then we will figure it out. In. Out. Good girl. In. Out." She knew the dark-skinned child's head was hurting. But she also knew she had to get her completely calm, centered, and talking before she could give her anything for it. There was so much going on in that child's head and international travel didn't help. Time differences never did. That was why all the international kids would be coming at least the night before the rest of the students, so they could get some actual sleep and have a full day to recover before classes began.

She took several more deep breaths, finally finding her center. She took a moment, making sure her shields were secure so that her magic wouldn't stray before opening her eyes. "Okay."

"Can you tell me why you are upset?"

She hesitated, biting her lip for a long moment. "Why did my brother sign over guardianship to you?" The last time that had happened, bad things had happened and she had made sure she got kicked out of that school.

"What? No, Kylie, that's not- it's not what you think." She rocked back on her heels, studying the child for a moment. She could tell she didn't believe her and she could also see the hurt she was hiding. Making a quick decision, she stood slowly. "Stay there and do not move." She ordered sternly, making it clear that she expected to be obeyed before disappearing into her office.

She ran her hand through her braids, debating for a moment. She knew there was a door to the school here somewhere, not that she would have any idea where she was going but if it got her out of the conversation that she knew was coming, she would go anywhere. But she knew she would be in trouble. Not that that would have stopped her at any of the other schools. But she didn't care there and she did sort of care here and she didn't even know why. Alexis spent an hour with her yesterday and had made her feel like she cared about her but she couldn't, could she? No one but her brother cared about her. Right? She stood quickly, heading toward the nearest door, hoping it would lead far from here.

Alexis forced down a chuckle, coming back into the room. "I told you not to move. You have no idea where you are going, do you?"

She blushed, glaring at the older woman.

"Sit down, Kylie." She ordered, gesturing back to the armchair the teenager had vacated. She hadn't expected her to actually try to leave but she had locked all the exits just in case. Not that that was an exit. She held up the file in her hand, raising an eyebrow at the stubborn girl.

No way was she sitting back down. She didn't want to talk about it! She shouldn't have said anything. Things would just get worse from here.

"Kylie, I won't ask you again. Sit down."

Who was she fooling? She wasn't asking. She was using the same tone her brother used with his apprentice, the same tone her brother used to use with her. She inched toward the door, glaring at her.

Was this kid really daring her to follow through? Where did she think she was going to go? That was a closet. She sighed softly, sending off a very light stinging spell. She ignored the yelp, raising an eyebrow at the child. "You can try the door if you like. That's a closet. I think the most you will find in there is cloaks and Elijah's belongings that I asked him to pick up."

She grimaced, wincing at the sting. She hated that spell! Her brother used it! And so did her teachers at Drumstrang, before things got...bad. She reached out slowly, waiting to see if this was a trick. When the older woman merely raised an eyebrow at her, she carefully opened the door, blinking at the mess on the floor. She was right, it looked like someone had shoved a bunch of junk into the bottom of the closet. "Wouldn't it be better to hide his junk in his room?"

She did laugh then, shaking her head. "That's just what migrated to the family room, love. There's so much more in his closet. I don't even know where he gets half this stuff." He didn't even own that much to make such a mess.

"Boys."

"You're telling me. I live with three of them." And she was beginning to think a teenage girl was going to need a room in her quarters. Especially with that temper and attitude. Was this how she had been to Tim and Eric at fifteen? "Now, if you will."She gestured toward the chair again.

Kylie groaned, slowly moving to sit down. She winced at the small flash of pain, but it really was her own fault. She had pretty much dared the headmistress and the sting was already fading. Her brother's stinging spell would have been worse. She had a feeling the woman had gone easy on her. "What's that?" She asked after a moment, nodding to the file.

She pulled up a chair, she couldn't keep crouching and she wasn't going to stand over the child, before opening the file and holding it out to the child. "I take it none of your previous headmasters have ever explained international students to you before? This is the file of international temporary guardianship forms. All of the international students have individual files, of course, like all students do, but all of their guardianship forms are in one file where I can easily access it in case of an emergency." She explained quietly.

"Wait, what? You have guardianship of all international students?" She took the file, finding her form and glancing over it before moving on to look at the other forms. They all looked exactly the same except that they all had different names.

"If something was to happen to you and you needed major medical care, it would be much harder to get your guardian here or even, it your case, to reach your guardian. So yes, during the school year I take temporary guardianship. If you read through the forms, it allows me to get you major medical care, see that you get the services you need, and make sure your basic needs are met. That's it." "All schools do this?" She asked, handing the file back. She felt like she wasn't suppose to be looking at it. Like the headmistress was breaking a rule to reassure her.

She nodded, meeting dark eyes until the child looked away. "They do. It's common policy. It is for your protection. Your brother is not giving up his custody of you. He is giving me permission to treat you in his absent. He did, also, ask me to treat you as I do my wards. Which I am. Kylie, I am not going to take your brother's place. But I will still discipline you. That's my job as your headmistress and as his friend. But it doesn't matter that your brother trusts me, if you don't. "

"I trust you."

"No you don't. You're just saying that because you think that is what I want to hear. You flinch every time I move, you watch me out of the corner of your eyes. I've been doing this for a while, I know how hard it is to gain the trust of an abused kid, but I also know it can be done."

"I'm not abused!"

"Yes, you were. By who, is the real question."

"My brother never touched me!"

She sighed softly, shaking her head. She already knew that. She had told Chris that Kylie had been abused and he had agreed that she had suffered at the hands of their parents but she was thinking this was much more recent abuse and Chris had no clue about it. Kylie's choice of words was interesting too. "I never said he did. I know Chris wouldn't hurt you or I never would have helped him get custody of you."She replied quietly, watching the child's response. Apparently he had never told his sister how he got custody of her.

"You?"

"Yes."

"Oh. I'm...I'm sorry."

She wasn't but that was alright. She understood teenagers well enough. Gods. She was really feeling like she should go apologize to Tim and Eric for ever being a teenage girl. And now they had another one. "I know that trust has to be earned, so that's alright. Just give me a chance, okay?"

She hesitated, watching the older woman for a long moment to see if this was a trick. But it didn't seem like a trick. She nodded finally, glancing around the room at the mess she had made. Great. She knew she would be in trouble for that. "I didn't mean to destroy your quarters."

She snorted, shaking her head. "Girl, I'm raising three boys. This is nothing. Why don't you pick up your belongings. Then you can decide what you want to keep in your room here and what you want to take down to the camp." Alexis stated firmly, meeting dark eyes when they flew to hers.

"I have a room here?"

"Of course you do. If you need a break from the camp, you can always come up here. As long as you tell someone first. And if you get in trouble, you'll be grounded to these quarters." She replied calmly. The shock in the teen's eyes told her that she had made the right decision. The tiny spark of fear was concerning, though. But she was also aware that Kylie didn't trust her enough to tell her about it.

She had a room here. Maybe she would be safe here. Maybe she would be believed here. Maybe it would be different. "Okay." She shrugged, standing slowly and moving to picking up the clothes she had flung around the room earlier. Her brother would have been a lot tougher than the Headmistress if she had acted like that. But she had a feeling that the headmistress wouldn't be as lenient if she did it again.

-x-

"Finish your eggs." Hagrid ordered, moving to answer the door. A groan was his only response. The younger man had yet to speak more than single syllables. He stepped out onto the porch, raising an eyebrow at the two men. He had been expecting Eric and the healer had said he might bring a mundane friend. The other man seemed comfortable around magic at least. "Eric."

"Hagrid, this is Kenny. We've been each others sponsors for sixteen years." The dark-skinned man introduced quietly.

"Well maybe you'll have better luck. He won't even speak to me." Hagrid shrugged, turning brown eyes to the smaller man.

Kenny sighed, shaking his head. He wasn't sure Paul would talk to him either. He knew what had happened, after all. Eric had given him a heads up so that the story wouldn't freak him out, not that it would have. He had a feeling the younger man was processing a lot of emotions he couldn't explain and while he knew pieces of the story, he didn't know details. "Are you staying, Eric?"

"Unfortunately, I have to go. I'm needed in the medical wing." He grimaced, letting go of his pendant. He knew Lucas could handle the worst of it but he also knew he probably needed help. He didn't understand teenagers, sometimes. They seemed to be walking disasters.

The half-giant nodded, gesturing for the brown-haired man to follow him inside his small home. "You have a visitor, Paul." He stated briskly, moving back toward the kitchen table. The young man didn't even bother looking up.

"Don't wanna."

"You don't even know who it is." Kenny responded dryly, watching the younger man. He could easily remember those days of feeling guilt so heavy that it just weighed him down until he drank himself into a stupor to get the smallest bit of relief. It never lasted, of course. And it almost got him and his partner killed. He fought down a smirk when his eyes shot up. He wasn't much older than a teenager, really. Kid had to be what, twenty-one? Twenty-two? He was barely an adult.

His eyes widen, blinking rapidly as they tried to focus on Kenny. He had to be imagining things. The man wasn't magical. So how was he here? He couldn't be. Could he? Why was he even here? He thought Eric would be here. But maybe Eric couldn't stand to be around him right now. Not that he wanted to talk to Eric, of course. Did he?

"Whatever nonsense is going through your head, stop." He stated sharply, noting the flash of fear and rejection in the young man's eyes. "Eric was needed elsewhere. But he did mention that he would be speaking with you later." He added briskly.

Oh. So there had been an emergency. Honestly, when wasn't one of the kids getting hurt? It was a school. So it made sense that Eric was busy. Not that he wanted to speak to Eric later because as ominous as that sounded, he had a feeling he knew how that would end. "Why are you here?" He grimaced at the heavy hand that landed on his shoulder for a moment, glancing up to see Hagrid's disapproval.

He had hope that the young man would talk to him. But when that didn't work, he was hoping if he left him alone with this sober buddy of Eric's, he would speak to him. He was going to set locking charms so he couldn't leave, of course. "I'm going out to the gardens. Behave." Hagrid ordered briskly. "Just give a shout when you're ready and I'll come let ya out." He added, turning to Kenny. "Come on Fang."

He nodded, understanding the statement for what it was. He knew what locking charms were, after all. They were dead useful too. He waited until Hagrid had gone outside before turning back to Paul. "I am here because I care about you. I heard you had a bit of a misadventure last night. Want to tell me about it?"

"No."

"Tell me anyway."

"No."

He sighed, shaking his head. "No one has ever explained what having a sponsor means to you, have they? We assumed, because you came from other support groups, that you knew that you would have to talk about it eventually, whether in group or one on one. You cannot lock it in, Paul. You have to talk about it."

He snorted, glaring down at his hands. The other groups he had been in hadn't cared if he shared or not, as long as he showed up when he was mandated to. And when he wasn't, he stopped going. He didn't stop drinking because of a group. He stopped drinking because he wanted to be better, to do better. He needed to be better. And he fucked that up. "I don't have to."

"It's a slip, not a slide."

"That's stupid."

"Why?"

"Because...because it is!" He didn't know, it just was! He always ended up going from one drink to two to drinking every day. It was never a slip. It was always a downward spiral. Hell, he could really use a drink right now. He didn't want to think about it! About her hands..No!

"Look at me, Paul. We have to face some hard truths, alright? We know we are both alcoholics or we wouldn't be here. But you have to accept that you need help to pull yourself out of that pit of guilt and self-loathing." He stated firmly, catching his eyes when they flew to his. "It is only a slide if you let it be. So let's not let it be.
Tell me what happened."

"It's my fault."

"What's your fault?"

"I must have done or said something to make her think...I don't even know! I've been over it again and again. All I see are her little hands reaching for... and I can't!" He couldn't get it out of his head, that look on her face, the stony gaze, the glazed over look in her eyes. It had taken a lot to get her out of it and he had even had to pop her hands to get her to stop trying to get his pants open! And finally he just had to hold her wrists until- He just couldn't!

He blinked, grabbing hold of both his wrists before he could repeat that action and smack his head again. Eric hadn't said that Paul was prone to hurting himself and nothing he knew of the young man spoke to that. Unless the guilt he felt laid so heavy that he just couldn't hold it in any long. "I'm not going to let you harm yourself, Paul. You need to talk about it. It's eating you up inside. Let me help. Let me be a fresh set of eyes and ears. What happened with the girl?" He inquired calmly.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Because I don't have magic?" He pretended to look offended, hiding his amusement at the young man's response.

"What? No. You're not a counselor."

"No, but I am a police officer. I've seen a lot of bad, Paul. And Eric has told me some of what the children have gone through this summer, not details mind, but still. I know they have suffered. Talk to me." Kenny shrugged, studying him carefully.

He hesitated, staring at the table for a long moment, before nodding."Every time I close my eyes, I see her hands reaching for the zipper on my jeans. I don't even know what I said. One minute we are having a session, she's having trouble and I was trying to keep her with me. She kept going into flashbacks. The next thing I knew, she was across the room, hand reaching for my zipper with this far off look in her eyes and a stony, haunted expression on her face. I'd bat her hands away and try to talk to her, she wouldn't stop. I smacked her hands, she wouldn't stop. I stood up. She tried to grab me. And the whole time I was just calmly trying to talk her out of whatever flashback she was in. I finally had to get her in a full body hold just to calm her down enough to talk her out of the flash back. And then when she started coming out of it..."

He kept his initial response in, thankful that Eric had thought to prepare him for this. Paul would take it as toward him and not toward the people who had harmed the girl. "She thought she was in danger and started fighting you, didn't she?"

"She didn't mean to. She's so used to being tortured, that the thought of anyone holding her terrifies her. I wouldn't normally touch her without permission, but I didn't really have a choice." Paul sighed, shaking his head. She got in quite a few good blows before she realized who had her, what he was saying, and where she was. Once she realized what exactly she had done, she started freaking out. He had tried to calm her back down but.. "She broke through my wards and took off after that. She was so upset she had tried to service me that she took off. I alerted Mary, her camp counselor, and then I went for a walk to clear my head. It usually works." He had gone over it again and again, he still couldn't figure out what he had said or done to set her off. But he had been quite clear on what she had been trying to do.

The way the younger man kept shifting, his body posture..."Are you hurt?"

He shrugged, he had honestly been ignoring the pain in his ribs. He had noticed the bruises when he had taken a shower but he felt he deserved them.

So that was a yes. He had been in that position enough times to understand exactly what the dark-haired man was doing. The guilt, however unfounded it was, would eat him alive. He knew that if he asked to see the wounds now, he wouldn't get an answer. So he'd try something else first. "Tell me about the girl."

"Her name is Lexie!"

Which was the reaction he expected, to be honest. He had objectified her for a reason, after all. "Alright, tell me about Lexie. You've been her counselor for a while. What was her life like before she came here? You said she was tortured. So talk me through what you were talking about, what possibly could have been in her head."

He groaned, running a hand over his face. He didn't want to go through this. He didn't want to think! Didn't Kenny understand?! This was his fault! Not Lexie's! "Her life was shit, alright?"

"How? Use your words, Paul. How would you describe what happened to Lexie?"

"I don't want to do this! You are trying to blame the victim!" He stood quickly, knocking over his chair in the process.

Kenny didn't bother moving, raising an eyebrow at the younger man, following his movements with his eyes. He knew he wasn't leaving the cabin. He was well aware that Hagrid had placed wards to insure that. Plus, he had his own methods of getting through to stubborn young men and women. They had always worked with his squad and all of his mentees; he doubted they would fail him now.

He glared, kicking the door when in refused to budge. He wanted out! He didn't want to do this! He just want to go for a walk! Or a drink! Or something!

"Sit down Paul. Now." He ordered quietly, indicating the chair he had just left. "Despite your beliefs to the contrary, I do not wish to blame Lexie for this. Nor do I want you to blame yourself. Rather I want you to understand that what happened wasn't either of yours fault. We cannot do that without going through it. And I know almost nothing about Lexie except that she is a child at the school who has had a rather rough life and somehow understands what servicing someone means and would try to do it as if it was an instinct. That is what I do not understand here." He added, catching his eyes when he finally returned to his chair.

He sighed, looking away for a moment before turning back to the older man. "Because it is. I can't break patient confidentiality of course, but if you read her medical file and you know her history, the pieces are there. Lexie's family forced her to 'earn her keep' every summer as a working girl. She's not the only kid we have with this story. When they realized they couldn't beat the magic out of her, they thought maybe they could break her spirits. It started when she was eight. Eight-year-olds and servicing men in the basement. At thirteen she moved on to the "full package" as she calls it. Her instinct was to service me and I don't know what I said or did to cause it!"

Good God. A child raised to be a prostitute and all because she had magic. He was definitely going to hug his nieces and nephews tighter when he saw them next. He had figured it would be bad but not that bad. And why hadn't they given the file to the police? Unless because the child was magic...that was a question for Eric though, not the young man in front of him. He reached across the table, resting a warm hand onto of the one picking at his own skin."It is not your fault. The girl was tortured, son. It could have been as simple as a word or a phrase you said. Unless you have a way of seeing into the girl's head, you won't know what triggered her to acted as she did. You could ask her." He did have a feeling that was part of his fear, though. That she wouldn't want him as her counselor. And then, where did that leave the poor girl?

He settled slightly, accepting the small comfort for what it was, even if he still didn't think he deserved it. "I'm not sure she will want to be around me. I may have awaken fears that we have done our best to calm. If she doesn't feel safe here because of me, I don't know what we will do." Paul grimaced, shaking his head. He was afraid Alexis would fire him. But she hadn't come down and demanded his head on a platter and she had to know by now. Especially if Eric and Kenny knew.

"I'm sure it won't come to that. From what Eric tells me, the teenagers here are some of the most resilient he has ever meet. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you will get through this. Both of you will. And you don't need alcohol to do it. Because that didn't really help did it?"

He grimaced, eyes focusing on the floor. But he didn't pull his hand away from the two that now engulfed it. He knew he had messed up, he just wasn't sure where to go from here. Usually it was a quick downward spiral. But he didn't want that this time. He wanted to do better. "I fucked up. I didn't even mean to! I thought I could just have one drink but..."

"We can never just have one drink, son. We are alcoholics. We are addicted to it, to the feeling it gives us. That fact that we feel terrible the moment the alcohol wears off just causes us to drink more, it's a never-ending cycle until you fight to get out of it. And it isn't an easy fight. There are going to be bad days, like today, and there will be days you slip. We all slip. But it is just a slip. It doesn't have to be a slide unless you let it become one." He responded firmly, catching dark eyes when they jumped to his.

"I bet Eric never slipped." He muttered, blinking at the snort that brought.

"We have all slipped, myself and Eric included. But you will have to ask him to tell you about it sometime. I'm not in the habit of telling other peoples stories." Especially that story. He studied the younger man for a moment before deciding he was as close to where he needed to be as he was going to get. Hopefully he was ready to listen."You have to have a plan for when things start going wrong, Paul. You need to have support people you can go to instead of going for a drink, even if you don't want to talk about what's wrong. You also need to have other options besides drinking to help you cope, other tools you can use."

He frowned, staring at the table for a long moment. He went to the meetings, after all, so he did have some support. But it wasn't like he could just reach out to any of the people there if he needed help. He had listened to them talk before and after meetings,it had made him feel a little jealous even, so he knew that many of them called each other when they were having bad days. He didn't have that. There wasn't anyone here who he could talk to about it. The other counselors wouldn't really understand and even if they would understand, there was so much going on, they were just to busy to handle one more problem. "I don't have a sober friend like you do." He shrugged finally, not bothering to look up. It was embarrassing to admit.

"I understand that it can sometimes feel like you don't have anyone to lean on, that you are all alone in this battle, but you are not. What is Eric if not a mentor? What am I? What is Hagrid? You think the three of us would take the time to make sure you were alright if we didn't care about you? If we didn't want to support you? You have a support system Paul, you just don't realize it. " He responded softly, meeting brown eyes when they flew to his. He looked so young and innocence with that hopefulness in his eyes.

He blinked, thinking about in for several moments. That made sense, actually. He hadn't thought about it like that. "I guess."

Kenny nodded, knowing it would take a while. It always did. But eventually they would get there. "Alright, let's work out a plan for what you can do instead of drinking and then you will show me your injuries so I can decide if we need to go see Eric or if I can treat them." He ordered briskly, biting back a grin when the young man groan. It would take time but he would help, that much was certain. He was invested now.

-x-

"So who wants to tell me what inspired this crazy stunt?" Eric asked, surveying the two boys who were still awake. The other two boys he and Lucas had to sedate to treat. Now that they had managed to treat the serious injuries, they could heal these two idiots. At least they both had the decency to blush.

Elijah looked down, refusing to meet either of the healers eyes, shivering slightly. He wasn't as cold as he had been, Phil and Melody had dried their clothes and gotten them clean clothes before going back to whatever they were doing before they had to help them. Jake had stayed with them and he was sure the older man would stay until he knew they were all okay. They were just lucky the three counselors had been around in the first place. He knew they shouldn't have listened to Pete.

Eric raised an eyebrow at the teenager, casting a warming charm on him. Really, the young counselors were great at what they did but sometimes their lack of experience in emergencies meant they forgot things like casting warming charms on children who has just been pulled from the depths of the lake. Because they couldn't swim in the area designated for swimming, that was too hard. They weren't even suppose to be at the lake. Somehow, four boys separated from their group and took a dip in the lake without anyone noticing. "Let's get that shirt off, so I can tend to those scrapes, Elijah." He remarked quietly, causing the teen to groan.
"How did the four of you end of tangling with grindylows?" He glanced toward Derek when the boy tried to unsuccessfully pull away from Lucas.

"If you do not stay still, I will stick you to the bed." Lucas stated firmly, frowning at the boy. This was not the crew of boys he thought would get into trouble together. He had a feeling that where they were found and what they had been doing, they had been put up to it. Two of the boys could barely swim. If Elijah hadn't kept his head about him and gone for help, the four teens would have been in much worse shape. His scan had showed that Derek's shoulder was dislocated but every time he started trying to heal the child, he jerked away. He had already applied a warming charm, so the child was no longer in danger of hypothermia. If he was going to set his shoulder, he needed an extra pair of hands. "Jake, come here a minute."

He moved from where he had been sitting beside the two sleeping young boys to Derek's bed. They were still on the main floor of the medical wing, if they needed to stay longer he knew they would end of moving the boys into their own rooms but he doubted any of them would stay more than the night. They had been lucky. If the three of them hadn't been out there smoking and Elijah hadn't thought to swim for help...they all would have drowned. "What can I help with, Lucas?"

"Can you hold his other shoulder for a moment?" At the younger man's nod, he let his magic sink into the teenager's shoulder, soothing away the pain before he maneuvered it back in place. "Doesn't that feel better, Derek?"

"Yeah, I guess." He muttered, not looking up. His shoulder felt better, but the rest of him hurt. He felt like Pete set them up. Him and Elijah could hold their on, even if he couldn't really swim, but the two younger boys shouldn't have been put in that situation. He knew if he was feeling bad, Elijah had to be too. If Pete did set them up, they would be getting back at him.

"Let's get your shirt off so we can see the rest of the damage." Lucas stated calmly, helping the child maneuver in over his head. He gave a small smile when Jake sat down beside Derek on the bed before moving to treat the worst of the wounds. Clearly Jake anticipated what he had when he realized the depth of the wounds. His scan didn't really do them justice. Superficial, yes, but also very painful.

Derek jerked when the healer started applying salve to his cuts. It hurt! He flinched at the gentle hand resting on his shoulder, relaxing slightly when Jake's arm wrapped around him.

"Easy. I got you. So, why don't the two of you tell me what really happened? Ben and Nikolaas are asleep now, it is just us." Jake watched the two boys for a long moment, keeping a steady arm around Derek to keep him calm. Most of the children weren't used to medical care for their injuries but Derek absolutely hated it. He always fought them, he barely tolerated diagnostic spells. His little cousin was much the same way.

"Where's Lila?" Derek grunted out. His cousin was almost always with Jake and that little boy who had started hanging around their group the last few days. Or maybe she was with Ariana.

He shook his head at the poor attempt at diversion. "She is with Kate. Do you really think I'd take her sm- to the far side of the lake?" He caught himself quickly, forcing down a blush at the sharp look from Eric and the snort from Lucas. He was well aware that the two healers knew what the three of them had been doing, after all. But the teenagers were a different story and he remembered Alexis' words on the matter at one of the first staff meetings they had, so he wasn't going to let it slip if he could help it. "Now, out with it boys. Two of you can't swim and I'm willing to bet nobody realized Nikolaas was a champion swimmer and could hold two of you above water for twenty minutes." He also broke two ribs, swimming while pulling two boys behind him, one who was much bigger than him. Derek had helped by holding onto Benjamin so that Nikolaas only had to hold onto him, but he was still pulling both of them. By the time the three adults had gotten to them, after pulling Elijah out of the water and sending him to the medical wing via portkey, Nikolaas was exhausted. He had made it halfway with the other two, trying to pull away from the grindylows and keep two inexperienced swimmers from drowning. And Ben, barely conscious with his wand still in his hand shooting spell after spell at the grindylows to keep them away from his two friends so that one could keep holding him up and the other could keep pulling them along.

"We didn't know there were grindylows there." Elijah answered finally, grimacing as the salve Eric applied to his back. He felt like a coward. He ran for help and left his friends behind, left Nikolaas to swim with the other two. But he wasn't as strong of a swimmer as Nikolaas. He didn't have as much endurance, so they had decided he could make the swim faster if he did it alone. And he had shouted for help the entire time. No one heard him until he was almost to the shore. Then Jake had fussed at him for being in the part of the lake, as soon as they had pulled him out that is. Until, of course, he shouted at them to shut up, that his friends were still out there and they needed help. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

He shook his head, meeting the teenager's eyes. "Given the situation, you did what you had to do to get our attention. Not that I want you to get in a habit of that though, alright?"

"Alright." He hesitated for a moment, glancing at Derek before looking to where Benjamin and Nikolaas were sleeping. "It wasn't their fault. It was a stupid dare. We didn't realize the water was that deep that far out or I never would have let Benjamin go that far out."

"I wouldn't have gone that far out! When we started getting attacked we knew we were in trouble and thankfully Ben and Elijah had their wands. Ben started casting and Elijah started trying to find us an escape route but the grindylows kept pulling us under." Derek added, looking down at the ground. He winced at the sting of pain as salve started covering his back. He knew the tentacles and hooks and whatever else the grindylows had had left some nasty wounds so he knew it was necessary but that didn't mean he had to like it.

"I decided our only option was to get help. I should have stayed. I could have helped Nikolaas swim the others to safety. We might have made it back. But I took off like a coward." Elijah admitted, biting his lip

"You're not a coward. Pete's the coward. And we gonna get him. Bet he knew about the grindylows too. You saved us. Nikolaas could barely keep his head above water when they got to us. I can swim well enough to tread, but not in deep water and you know Ben only pretends to know how to swim so the older boys won't tease him. Michael's been teaching him when no ones watching. He teaches him, little Ben, and Louis together. I guess he figures Ben helping him with the little kids will make him feel like he isn't really being taught how to swim but like he is helping someone else learn." He might not always be the nicest but that didn't mean he didn't notice things. He was trying to change the way he treated others and Paul had told him to look at the boys he respected and watch how they treated other boys and girls. If he thought they were doing things in a way that represented what he wanted to represented, he could model some of his behaviour after theirs. That didn't mean he had to become copies of them, but he could learn from watching and modeling their behaviour. Bain, Michael, and Daniel were always closed-off to most everyone, except when they weren't. He knew all three boys well. They were kind, honest, and they always looked after the younger kids, the smaller kids, and those who were weaker. They wouldn't have let Elijah put himself down for saving them and he wasn't going to either. He knew at least one of them would have died, if not all of them if Elijah hadn't gone for help.

He hadn't known about Michael giving swim lessons but honestly that didn't surprise him one bit. Nothing Michael did surprised him anymore. He found him holding a crying Natalie the other day, just holding the little twelve-year-old. Before he could say or do anything, like ask why one of his teenagers had a sobbing preteen girl in his arms, he was rocking with the young girl, rubbing her back, calming her down. Michael had seen him and had just place a finger to his lip, to tell him to be quiet, and when back to soothing the little girl. When him asked him later, he shrugged it off, like it was something he did regularly. Which honestly, with Michael, it might be. "Derek is right, Elijah. You did the right thing by going for help. Otherwise, this could have ended badly. How is Pete involved?" He had a feeling he didn't want to know.

He grimaced, shaking his head. "Are there always Grindylows there?"

Eric sighed, he had a feeling he knew where this was going. "Yes, there is. That's pretty much right over where they live. There is a reason we tell students to avoid swimming in that part of the lake and that Hagrid never lets students take boats out that far. Do you know how many boats grindylows how capsizes because they were in their territory? You can only go out that far if you know how to handle grindylow with express permission, a life jacket, and supervision. So yes, many fifth, sixth, and seventh year students would know that there was a colony of grindylows out there, especially if they took herbology or potions." He answered firmly, meeting two pairs of shocked eyes.

"So he did know!" Derek shouted, grimacing at the two pointed looks he got before blushing. "Sorry."

"Try not to wake Benjamin and Nikolaas. They might be in a magic-induced sleep but they can still be awaken." Eric scolded, raising an eyebrow at the young man, before glancing at the preteen girl peeking out of her room. Always curious and probably bored. "Did you need something Emma?" He asked pointedly. A quick head shake and rapid retreat was the only response he got. "Always eavesdropping." He murmured, shaking his head.

"Don't be so harsh, Eric. It's not eavesdropping if it's shouted across the medical wing. Plus, she's twelve and bored. You'd eavesdrop too." Lucas pointed out, chuckling. "Now, who is this he?" He'd say from Derek's earlier statement it was Pete but he'd rather not assume anything.

"Pete. He practically dared us to. He said that everyone did it, that it was a rite of passage at Hogwarts. You swim out to the darkest part of the lake where the squid lives and then you swim back." Elijah answered after several minutes of silence.

"Then you become a man. Or woman. He said if we did it, everyone would respect us for being brave and wouldn't treat us like little kids anymore." Derek added quietly, eyes focused intently on the bed.

Jake shook his head, eyes finding the ceiling for a moment. Gods, he was going to strangle that boy before the summer was over. He probably hadn't thought they would actually do it. "Pete lied to you. You understand that, yes? I'll ask Charlie, but I definitely do not remember that rite of passage. For future reference, the darker the water, the deeper it is. The darkest part of the lake is the deepest portion of the lake. You should never, ever, attempt to swim there. The squid travels all over the lake and while I'm not quite sure where it lives, it would probably prefer if you didn't bother it." He stated firmly, forcing himself to keep his voice calm, to keep the anger he felt at Pete down.

"I know that sometimes it feels like everyone is treating you like you are little kids, but they aren't. They are trying to treat you as fourteen and fifteen-year-olds. I know that's a strange feeling when no one has ever given you rules and restrictions, when no one has ever cared before. Eventually, you will get used to people caring about and for you and it won't be as hard to accept. No matter what you do, it isn't going to change the way your counselors feel about you, the way the staff feels about you, the way Lucas, Tim, and I feel about you, or the way Alexis feels about you. We care for each and every one of you, no matter what you do. Although, we'd much rather you didn't go for an unsupervised swim in the most dangerous part of the lake." The dark-skinned healer said, catching the teens eyes for a moment, before finishing healing Elijah. Both boys could use some sleep and he would feel better if they slept here, so they didn't go get into more trouble. He thought they might be too exhausted for that right now. He did think they both might want a shower first, to wash the rest of the muck off, and to change into the clothes the other counselors had brought them.

Elijah grimaced, feeling the dirt and grim on his skin. While he would be the first to admit that he often argued with Jake and Henry that he didn't need to shower every day and he had showered this morning, he felt like he needed another shower. He had never taken two shower in a day before. He was turning into a girl. Ugh. "Can we go?"

"Not just yet. Why don't the two of you take a shower in the medical wing's bathroom and then lay down for a while. Don't give me that look, Elijah. You are both exhausted and I don't even need a diagnostic spell to tell. You will take a nap, healer's orders. Shower, change, rest. And then, if Lucas and I think you are doing better, you both may leave." Eric ordered, meeting the smaller teen's eyes for a moment before he finally looked away.

"Come on boys, I'll show you where you can shower." Lucas stated, gesturing to the two teenagers. He hid a smile at the twin groans, leading them to the nearest bathroom, leaving Eric with Jake.

He studied the younger counselor for a moment before nodding to himself. "Let's go to my office, Jake."

"I haven't even done anything yet!"

He snorted. "Yet."

He grumbled, followed the dark-skinned healer into his office, letting the door shut behind him. "What?"

"Attitude. Lose it, now." He corrected instantly, shaking his head. So many of these young counselors that Alexis' had hired were just like her. Tim had suggested many of them, although he had suggested some of them.

"Sorry. Sir."

Seriously? Really? Was this what Henry dealt with? No wonder the younger man was struggling so much with Jake. "Jake, you're not in trouble but that can quickly change." He stated firmly, meeting his eyes when they flew to him.

"Eric, I'm...I just..I'm sorry. "

He sighed, gesturing to a chair. "I brought you in here because I knew you were angry and figured it would be better if you didn't explode near the boys." He explained quietly.

"I would never do that!" He had much better control of himself than that! He wasn't Charlie or Phil.

"Not intentionally, no. But we all get upset sometimes and it is easier to compose yourself away from the ones you take care of. You are angry and that's acceptable. Four of your boys were hurt. But you will not take it out on me, do you understand?" The dark-skinned healer stated firmly, sighing softly. He had also brought him in here because he knew if he hadn't, he would have gone to find the other boy as soon as the teens were tended to. While Alexis was already on it, it would do Jake no good to hunt down a teenage boy, especially when he was this angry.

He bit his lip, staring at the floor for a long moment before nodding. "Yes sir, I'm sorry. I just...I am angry. They could have drown. All four of them. If we hadn't have been on the far side of the lake sm- hanging out, Elijah would have not been able to find help quickly enough. He would have had to run for help. I'm honestly not sure how much longer Nikolaas would have lasted. It took us nearly five minutes to reach them and we were using accelerating spells. They could have..they could have died."

He moved slowly, resting a gentle hand on the young counselor's shoulder. "But they didn't. The fact that you and your friends were smoking on that side of the lake at the specific time saved their lives. You even thought to use portkeys to bring them straight here, to send Elijah ahead by portkey so you didn't have to worry about him trying to swim back to his friends. Do you honestly think that Pete's intention was for four boys to drown?"

"No sir. Pete isn't malicious. He probably didn't even expect them to actually do it." Saying it aloud may it click in his brain. Pete probably had no idea that the four would actually try it. That boy was many things and he caused him several headaches but he wasn't malicious. He wouldn't hurt anyone.

"So perhaps this was just an unlucky accident? A mistake? He dared the boys to do something dangerous, which he shouldn't have done anyway, not knowing that they would do it, and they did it, not knowing it was dangerous. Does that sound like it could be possible?" Eric suggested, meeting his eyes for a moment. From his expression, he could tell that Jake knew exactly where he was going with this; he could also tell that it was working.

He sighed, leaning into the warm hand on his shoulder. "Yes, it is possible. It's very possible. Those four little idiots, as much as I love them, are always trying to prove that they are just 'like the older boys' and that they are 'grown ups'. Henry and I have told them, repeatedly that grown ups don't often call themselves grown ups. My other 4th and 5th years have no problems accepting that yes, they might be teenagers but they are still not adults yet. Those four, however... Pete probably just didn't realize that they would take his words as a challenge. Or maybe he did, I don't know. I don't pretend to know what goes through these kids heads half the time anymore." He ran a hand over his face for a moment, relaxing slightly when the hand on his shoulder squeezed comfortingly.

He nodded, he had expected as much actually. Teenagers were their own kind of people and the thoughts that ran through their heads still mystified him. He had been working with them for a while and he didn't always know what to think about what teenagers did sometimes because their brains were still developing and it wasn't always logical. Hell, Jake's brain was still developing, which explained the snapping one minute and compliant the next. "Alexis will take care of Pete, that is her job after all. Why don't you and I have a nice cup of tea and then you can sit with your boys for a while?" He suggested after several long moments of an almost comfortable silence. At the younger man's nod he moved, tapping his desk to summon a tea service before turning back to the young counselor. It would give them some time for Jake to relax before he had to get back to his duties. He did have other boys who needed him, after all, and he was sure there was a little girl somewhere screaming for him.

-x-

Alexis sighed, surveying the teenage boy for a long moment. She was well aware that he didn't know she was there. She had found him in the library of all places, after checking with his counselor. At first glance she had thought he was doing homework, but they had gotten the teens to get the majority of their homework out of the way over the last few weeks. It had taken her a minute to recognized the workbook he had as one of the PTSD books they had given the older teens. There he was, in the privacy of the back corner of the library working on it, probably afraid the other boys would tease him. She hated to disturb him but she really did need to talk to Pete. She cleared her throat, stepping out of the shadows. "Pete."

He jumped, covering the workbook with a magazine that he wasn't suppose to be reading. He didn't know why, but he rather get caught with the magazine than the workbook. "Alexis!"

"Easy, Pete. I'm not going to hurt you. I didn't mean to startle you. " She stated quietly, glancing at the magazine before forcing down a snort. It did bring other, more important questions to mind and she hated that she was probably not going to get answers to them when she started asking about the boys. Because why would a teenage boy who was so focused on what he had been working on that he hadn't even noticed her approaching try to hide it by distracting her? Why would he be ashamed of using the tools they gave him? And why on earth did he think he could throw them off by tossing a playboy on top of his PTSD book? But perhaps, he carried that not to throw them off but to throw the other boys off. Which just led her to even more questions. "I just wanted to talk to you."

"About what, Headmistress?" He had a feeling, from the way she said it, it was something serious, but he couldn't remember doing anything bad lately. He wasn't even skipping his session with Paul, it had been canceled so he had asked Henry if he could go finish his Potions essay in the library instead. Henry didn't know he had already done it, so he had let him. He had wanted to continue working on what he and Paul had been working on. He had thought that he could attempt the next few pages alone but it had been harder than he had thought it would be.

She hesitated, studying him for a long moment before sitting down at the table. "We will talk about that but then when we are done, I also want to talk about why you tried to hide your workbook from me, alright?" A shrug was her only answer. Oh yes, they would definitely be talking about it. "I wanted to talk to you about something that happened earlier at the lake."

He frowned, looking up. "I haven't been down to the lake today. My group went outside but not to the lake." He wasn't sure where she was going with this. It was just after lunch, his group wasn't suppose to go down to the lake yet. They were going down there later this afternoon, although he wasn't sure if they were going swimming or not.

"I am aware that you haven't been to the lake. But members of your group have been for a swim already. Whether or not they were suppose to is another matter altogether." She stated meeting confused eyes for a long moment. She had been wondering if he was going to catch on or if she was going to have to come out and explain. It seemed like she was just going to have to say it. "Four boys from your group decided to take a swim in a very deep, very dangerous section of the lake. For some reason they thought it would make them men."

He blinked, his brain finally processing what she had just said. They had done what? But he had just...he hadn't meant for...he had just been..."I didn't...Are they...please?"

"They are okay, Pete. Take a deep breath. That's it. Breathe in. And out. In. Out. Good. The boys are alright. A bit banged up and resting in the medical wing for right now, but they are okay." She moved from where she was sitting to crouch beside the teenager. She place a firm hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently, using her other hand to lift his chin so that his eyes met hers.

He took another deep breath, meeting soft gray eyes for a long moment. "I'm so sorry professor. I was just...I was teasing them. I didn't think they would take me seriously. I thought they would realize I was playing. I would never send them to a grindylow hot-zone, they should have known that!"

"They are raising fourth and fifth years Pete. They haven't studied the Black Lake ecosystem yet. They didn't know." She replied softly, studying him for a moment. From the fear in his eyes, fear he was trying to hide, she knew that he was telling the truth. She also knew he was afraid of her reaction.

Now where was he going to go? He had royally messed this up, so he knew he couldn't stay here. He had almost killed four of younger boys, even if they would hate him for calling them that. He wasn't even sure that they could all swim well! "I'll go pack."

She shook her head, sigh softly. Alexis was well aware that she was going to get this reaction often with the camp kids, it wasn't the first time this summer and it wouldn't be the last. They never had an answer for where they would go and she never bothered to ask, because they weren't going anywhere. These were her kids, after all. Every. Single. One. "No, you won't. You made a mistake, Pete. You aren't going anywhere."

"They could have been killed!"

"I know." It was terrifying, the thought of losing her son, because of course Elijah was always in the middle of whatever scheme those boys got into. But thankfully, her child had kept his cool and gone for help, from what Eric had sent her. She knew she would have to get the full story later. Right now, she had a sixteen-year-old who needed her attention and consequences so he didn't feel the need to punish himself.

"I fucked up! Again!"

"Pete. You made a mistake and it had some serious consequences on both sides here. You aren't the only one who made a mistake. None of those boys had to go for a swim, especially in a part of the lake where they know they are not allowed. It didn't matter if they felt like they had to, they also made a choice here. Yes, you are part of this, but so are they. " She stated firmly, catching his eyes when they flew to hers.

It was still his fault, wasn't it? The other boys were going to kill him. They had told him to stop teasing the younger boys but he had honestly thought they would know he was joking! It had been a joke! "I am sorry, Alexis. I didn't mean for this to happen."

She shook her head, fight back a snort. "Oh trust me, if I believed you had intended for this to happen, we would be having a very different conversation. While your actions might have been a part of this, it isn't entirely your fault Pete. Which does not mean, however, that you aren't in trouble. You are. But you cannot blame yourself for their actions. Only your own."

He groaned, shaking his head. He had known he was in trouble so that wasn't a surprise. "Daniel and Michael are going to kill me." He muttered, staring at the names carved into the table.

Why would two sixth years kill him? She would have thought he would be more worried about his counselors. She was more worried about his counselors, well Jake anyway. Henry knew how to control his emotions. "May I ask why?"

He bit his lip, glancing up at her. "I broke the rules, again. I'm not suppose to mess with the younger boys. Daniel told me I had to stop. But I honestly thought...I thought they would know I was joking! I never meant for anyone to get hurt!" He slammed his fist into his leg, flinching when a hand caught his wrist.

So Henry had been right. Henry had told her that he thought a few of the older boys were subtly running the camp, that the other kids just seemed listen to them. She had a feeling if Michael and Daniel were involved, Bain was as well. He had been spending time with the other two boys lately. They were quiet but responsible boys; boys that she wouldn't mind the other children looking up to nor did it surprise her. But if they were doing anything to actually discipline the other children, she would be having a conversation with them. That was a thought for another time. She sighed, keeping a firm grip on the small wrist in her hand. Pete was smaller than many of the older boys, which was probably why he used his words as armor. He teased the younger boys, some of whom were bigger than him, probably so they wouldn't pick on him for his size. "Your actions will have consequences. From me, no one else. If the other boys give you problems, you tell me." Even if he didn't, she'd have Henry watch for it. "I know you didn't mean for this to happen, Pete. But it did happen. Words have consequences, that's something you have got to learn. So here is what we are going to do. You are grounded for three days. You are also going to write me an essay on what you, personally, could have done differently. We'll review it together and go from there." She added firmly.

It was more than fair and he knew that. "Yes Alexis. Can I go?" He was hoping she had forgotten about his book. He didn't want to talk about it. He knew he wasn't suppose to be doing it, even if Paul kept telling him otherwise.

"Not yet. Remember I said I wanted to talk about why you tried to hide your workbook from me? Can you help me understand that?" Alexis was well aware that he had not forgotten that fact. She knew when a teenager was trying to hide something, she wasn't a mind-healer for nothing after all.

He shrugged, dropping his eyes back to the table. It didn't matter. If he did, she would tell him that he was right, that he shouldn't be using the workbook. But it was helping, even if just a little. If the other boys, who were worse them him, didn't use it, why should he? He wasn't bad enough! "No headmistress."

"What happened to Alexis? I can't help you, if you don't talk to me."
"You wouldn't understand!"

"Try me.

"I'm not bad enough! I shouldn't even be using it! " He shouted finally, knocking the book off the table. He flinched, expecting a blow that never came. He waited several long minutes before hesitantly looking at the headmistress. The soft grey eyes that met his were full of understanding, not pity.

So either someone had said something to make him believe that or all of the children were hiding theirs. She knew some of them were actually doing them but that made her wonder if any of the children were working on them around the other children. The only group that actually did them together was Mary and Jake's group. It might also be partly the counselors faults. She had told them that they had to stop classifying the teens by the amount of abuse they had faced. Some abuse couldn't be seen. Pete had suffered from serious emotional and psychological abuse, even if his physical abuse wasn't as horrible as some of the other students. It didn't mean he didn't have PTSD. Clearly, he did. "I once thought the same, that I shouldn't use the therapy tools given to me because I wasn't bad enough. I still needed them and when I finally gave in and used them, they helped tremendously." She stated quietly.

"You used this book?"

"Not that one, no. I used an earlier edition. But it was similar." She summoned his workbook from where he had thrown it, offering it back to the teenager. "You were abused Pete. You do not need to compare your abuse to anyone elses abuse."

"It doesn't matter anyway. I thought I could do it by myself but I can't. Paul was helping me but he was busy today." He shrugged, taking the book back. Maybe he would keep trying when he saw Paul again. He didn't think he could get through it on his own. He was having trouble with some parts of it.

She smiled, tapping the book with her hand. "How about I help you with what you were stuck on?"She suggested.

"Aren't you busy, Alexis?"

"I can always make time for my students, Pete. Show me where you were." She replied firmly, tapping her pendant to let Severus and Eric know where she was, in case either needed something, before turning her full attention to the small sixteen year-old in front of her.

-x-

She loved snack time. It was probably the most peaceful part of her day. And today, the elves had gone all out for some reason. They usually ate their snacks in the camp lounge but today the elf in charge of that had told her and Charlie that the dining hall would be a better place to go. The older teens always trickle in to get food as they felt hungry but the little ones tended to either eat themselves sick or not eat at all without supervision. They weren't use to having constant access to food, which had made all four of them angry. She finished directing her girls to their table, glancing at where Charlie and Phil had their boys set up, before going to help Rani gather the milkshakes that her kids hadn't noticed yet. "This will be fun."

"Is there one for Lucy?" Rani surveyed the milkshakes for a moment, well aware that they were all probably spiked with protein powder to add some nutrition. All the snacks the elves provided added some amount of nutrition to their kids diets. They needed the calories as well. Many of the preteens were still underweight, although it was slowly getting better. She didn't, however, see one that was safe for their dairy-allergic child.

Kate frowned, glancing at the shakes. "I'm not sure. Let's pass them out and if not, we'll ask the elves for something else for Lucy." She was sure the elves hadn't forgotten. They never did. They always provided something for Lucy and something for Malik, who had a nut allergy, if they couldn't have what everyone else was eating.

Rani shrugged, picking up a tray of strawberry milkshakes before catching Phil's eye as he picked up the other tray. "Wanna bet on whose table likes the most strawberry milkshakes?" She was just happy to be back, that her and the little girls were finally free of the medically wing, finally well enough to return to normal.

Phil snorted. It was probably going to be her table. His boys never really ate fruit. But this was ice cream, after all. "I'd say your girls will want strawberry and vanilla and my boys will want chocolate. Except for Ben. Ben will probably eat vanilla." Little Ben hated chocolate. They couldn't convince him to try anything chocolate. He wouldn't even go near chocolate. "Who wants strawberry?" He called, going over to his table of boys. He wished he could serve them ice cream and take a picture of the room at the same time. The way their eyes lit up made his heart melt. He had hopes that the elf he saw with a camera managed to capture that moment before she popped out.

Karrie grinned, reaching for the chocolate milkshake when Kate offered it to her. This was awesome! It even made up for being separated from the boys a little bit, not that they would be away from each other long. Their counselors all thought they needed "a break from each other" so they always made them sit at separate tables when they had their snack in the dining hall, even if they didn't eat there often. At least here she could stretch her leg out on the bench, so her cast was resting on that, even if the magic was bothering her a little. With Lila beside her, drinking a vanilla milkshake out of a cup with a lid through a straw and Lucy across from her, she felt almost safe. Almost. With Harry and Teddy there, she would have felt completely safe, she knew. With all of her friends. But Lucy didn't look happy and Lucy always looked happy. "What's wrong Lucy?"

"I can't have ice cream." Lucy frowned, staring down at the table. She hated having a milk allergy. She kept trying to find a potion to make it so she wasn't allergic to milk or at least so she could eat and drink it without getting sick right away and she hadn't found one yet. She thought there might be a book in the restricted books in the library but Kate told her no every time she asked to look in there. Not that she told her what she was looking for of course. Maybe if there wasn't a potion, she could invent her own.

That was right, her friend was really allergic to milk. "I'm sorry Lucy, I'm sure- careful Lila!" Karrie grimace, wishing suddenly that Kate or Rani had thought to spill-proof Lila's cup. What good was a lid if she was going to take it off and try to drink from it? And then pour it down herself, the table, her, and- "Lucy!"

"I'm okay."

"Your swelling."

"It's-"

"What happened?!" She was never going to live this down. Two minutes! Two minutes! Rani grimaced searching in her pockets for the epi pen she knew she carried for Lucy. Both her and Kate carried one, in case one of them wasn't there if Lucy had an allergic reaction. Despite how amazing magic was, epi pens were still the best first course of treatment in both worlds for allergic reactions.

"Lila was drinking her milkshake and I guess she was trying to get down into, she took the lid off and it went everywhere." Karrie explained quickly, watching her friend with worried eyes.

"UH uh!" Lila protested, pointing at her straw.

"Her straw wasn't working. Something got...stuck in it." Lucy rasped, taking a deep breath. Her chest was hurting and her arms were red and swollen. She felt so tired all of a sudden. She hated this feeling. Hated it. Her face was starting to tingle like something was crawling on it. "Ranii."

"I know Lucy, I know." She responded softly, finally, finally, finding the damn epi pen. She moved to the child's side, moving her onto her side before firmly pressing it into her outer thigh. She knew she was going to have to take her to the medical wing. There was no option there. She wasn't sure, however, if she was going to need a second epi. She let her rest there for a moment, waving a hand at the mess on the table to clean up the sticky, melting milk shake. Hopefully the elves could keep the 'milk' shake they made for Lucy cold and she could give it to her later. She smiled reassuringly at Karrie who in turn moved to help Lila with the rest of her milkshake. Rani turned, finding Kate's eyes before nodding at the other woman. She'd send a message to Mary so the older woman could send one or two of her girls to help, they wouldn't make that mistake again, once she got up to the medical wing. She carefully picked up the small second year, feeling her shift against her.

"Uhhh."

"I got you, Lucy. We're going to portkey, okay? So you have to hold very very still. I know you hurt. But it'll only be for a second." Honestly she had thought about walking but she was afraid of dropping her if she wiggled wrong up all of those steps and if she did need a second epi, it would be in the next few minutes, she rather be in the medical wing when she did it, not on a staircase.

"Ok." She whispered. Her throat was hurting and tight. She just wanted to sleep.

Definitely a second epi in the next few minutes. She'd have to do a scan to make sure. She used her free hand to grab her pendant, holding tightly to the child. "Das krankenhaus." Why Alexis had to set activation spells in German was beyond her.

Eric raised an eyebrow at the muttering woman who appeared before him holding a preteen. What was with these kids today? This was what the sixth or seventh they had seen and it wasn't even three! He still had a counselor to deal with this evening as well. He frowned, getting a good look at the child in Rani's arms. She was covered in rashes and her breathing was coming in gasps. "What did she eat this time?" Last time she had "accidentally" eaten a potato dish that the elves had purposely made sure wasn't anywhere near her because it had cheese in it. She literally had to go get it and instead of asking a counselor first, she just ate it. One mouthful and she was anaphylaxic. He loved preteens. They thought they were indestructible. Teenagers were much worse, however.

Rani sighed, setting her down on the bed he had directed her to. "She didn't eat it. You didn't eat it, did you Lucy?"

"No." She gasped. She felt like she was about to be sick.

Contact then. It must had been a lot of contact to cause that much of a reaction. He grabbed an epi pen out of a cabinet along with one of his emergency bags.

Allergic reactions were never fun and he never knew what he might need. "How many epis has she had?"

"One. Five minutes ago. Lila spilled her vanilla milkshake on Lucy."

He nodded, glancing at the clock. One epi pen never seemed to do it with Lucy and he didn't really want to chance it by waiting too long. "Okay Lucy, let's try one more Epi."

"Sick." She mumbled, rolling over to avoid puking on him.

Fantastic. He vanished the vomit, sighing softly. "Lucy, you didn't get anything in your mouth? Are you sure?" Usually that was a respond to her body trying get rid of what it considered to be poison, the food she was allergic to.

"Hands."

"You put your hands in your mouth?" The shake of her head denied that, so now he was confused. He got her back on her side, so she wouldn't choke if she did vomit again and so he could inject her. He caught sight of her eyes and frowned. Her eye lids were red and swollen. He pressed the injector into her outer thigh, holding it for three seconds before gently rubbing the area. Then he caught hold of her hands. "Rani, grab the aloe vera lotion from my office please. We're going to need a wash cloth and a basin. Lucy got milkshake on her hands and in her hair, she must have rubbed her eyes because they are starting to swell." If he remembered correctly, this child chewed on her hair, so that was how she had gotten it in her mouth and ingested a small amount of it. Just enough to make her sick. Any amount was too much. He could see the second Epi taking effect though. Her breathing was starting to even out. He would have to get her an anti-histamine potion to help with the hives and swelling and they would monitor her for the next few hours to make sure she didn't keep reacting, but hopeful she would be okay. This time.

Rani came back with the items, offering the lotion to Eric, before carefully starting to gently wash the girl's face with the cloth. The small giggle told her that she was slowly returning to normal, even if she still felt bad. She gently washed the strands of hair that she could tell had recently been chewed on, shaking her head. It was a habit they were trying to break but so far they weren't having much luck. "So if you feel up to it later, when Eric says you can, the elves made you a special shake with coconut milk. No cows harmed."

Lucy giggled again, wincing at the flare of pain as the soft lotion sank into the blisters on her hands. It hurt but she knew it would help. She didn't feel much like eating now. She never did when she had a reaction. But maybe later, much later, she would. She had never had a milkshake before, after all.

-x-

Mary glanced at the small girl walking beside her as the little hand in hers tightened its grip. They were getting closer to the conference room her and Jake's group used and she could feel the anxiety rolling off the preteen. She stopped, moving to crouch in front of her. "We don't have to do this today, Emma." Tim, Eric, and Alexis had decided that her magic was under enough control for her to try group therapy, if she wanted to. If she was able to make it through group with her magic under control, they were going to let her spend half the day with her cabin doing activities, just to start. They didn't want to push the control she had just yet but they needed to make sure she had enough control for when school started back, even with an amended schedule.

Emma took a deep breath, meeting the older woman's eyes for a long moment. When Tim had told her that morning that she would be able to leave the medical wing for group, even if she still had to sleep there, she had been excited. But now all she felt was dread. What if she hurt her friends? What if she lost control? What if they didn't want to see her? What if she was too far behind to catch up? What if-

"Emma, breathe." She ordered firmly, grabbing the child's free hand to ground her. "In. And out. Good. Keep breathing."

She dropped the book she had tucked under her other arm, using that hand to grab onto Mary's other hand before taking another deep breath. She could do this. She closed her eyes for a moment, finding the center of her magic and making sure everything was locked tight within her, before meeting Mary's eyes again. "I'm okay."

"You sure?"

"I want to try." She shrugged, squeezing the older woman's hands tightly for a moment. She had never liked touch before she had come to Hogwarts, but this summer was teaching her that touch could be good and kind and positive.

She smiled at the little twelve-year-old before releasing one of her hands and nodding to the abandoned workbook on the floor. She swore she was going to get all of these kids knapsacks before the summer was over.

"Do I have to bring my workbook?" She whined again before picking it up, keeping her hand firmly in Mary's. She really did like the comfort.

"Yes, Emma. Everyone brings their workbook because we might actually do some work in them as a group." She repeated for what felt like the twentieth time, because teenagers, before starting up the hallway once more.

Emma slowed her steps when they were right outside their designation. Thanks to the silencing spell on the meeting room, she couldn't hear her friends, but she was well aware that they were all probably already in there. She could do this, she knew that. It was just getting up the courage to walk through that door. Because she knew, deep down, that she had let her friends down.

The fear in those blue eyes was heartbreaking. She was even pretty sure she knew what she was afraid of. "We'll go in together, Emma. They are going to be so excited to see you."She reassured quietly.

She hesitated for a moment longer before tightening her hold on Mary's hand and slowly stepping toward the door. She could do this. She could do it.

She gave the small preteen a soft smile before opening the door with one hand and guiding her through. She met Jake' and Charlie's eyes first before turning toward the rest of the room. It took a moment for the teenagers to realize that she wasn't alone.

"Emma!"

"Em!"

"Little bit!"

"EMMA!"

"Guys, give her space." Daniel ordered quietly, studying the pale little girl for a long moment. She looked overwhelmed but he could see the hint of a smile there.

Clearly she needed them as much as they had needed to see her.

"Alright, settle down. Settle. Let Emma sit down please." Jake stated firmly. They were surrounding the little girl like they hadn't all been up to visit her in the last two weeks. They had, several times. He could she how overwhelmed she was becoming, though, from the attention and they did not need her magic lashing out even if the room would keep her magic in. Which was one of the reasons they had wanted her to try group first.

Karrie couldn't get through the group of bigger kids so she finally staked out a group of chairs at the round table, the four of them had always sat together since they were the youngest after all and they had missed having Emma with them. She had especially missed Emma. She loved her boys but she liked having another girl her age who understood what she had been through.

Harry settled on one side of his sister, leaving the empty chair beside her, which she had sat her stupid workbook in, for Emma. Teddy, on the other hand, was weaving through the older girls with the stealth of someone used to going unnoticed. He was saving a seat for his friend because he knew exactly what he was up to.

"Emma." Teddy murmured softly, slipping beside the slightly younger girl. She looked so overwhelmed. Charlie, Jake, and Mary were directing the older teens to their seats and while he knew they were keeping an eye on his friend, he also knew she would feel safer sitting with them. "Come on." He slowly offered her his hand, kind brown eyes meeting blue.

She hesitated for a moment before finally slipping her hand into his and letting him guide her over to where the rest of their friends were sitting. This was their group. Well, their group within the group as Karrie called it. The older teens looked after them and they looked after each other. Her friends. Her family. "Hi." She whispered finally, slipping into the chair beside Karrie before glaring at the workbook the other girl moved, placing her own on the table.

"Hi." She moved her crutches so they wouldn't be in the way, before gently resting her hand on top of the younger girl's. She wanted her to remember that she was safe with them, that no matter what happened, they had her. The group had her.

-x-

"I wanted to apologize."

Eric raised an eyebrow, looking up from the paper work he had been doing to the younger woman who had entered his office without knocking. What was it with these young people and not knocking? He glanced at Tim, who had taken over his armchair and was working on a plan for Emma, but the younger man just shrugged. Clearly he had no idea what the headmistress was talking about either. "For not knocking?" He asked pointedly.

Alexis rolled her eyes, waving a hand at the half-open door. "The door was opened." She retorted, before flopping down onto his couch. She really did need to get him more comfortable furniture. It needed to go on the list of things she still needed to do, which happened to be a ridiculously long list. Perhaps she could make Severus do it. "And no. For ever being a teenage girl. I know I was hard to raise but I didn't realize how difficult I was until Kylie...Gods, that attitude."

Tim snorted, shaking his head. "You are running a school of teenagers. Alexis. Get used to the attitude. But as we had to keep reminding ourselves, it is a lot difference when a teenager lives with you. You have what, thirty wards now, three boys, and now Kylie staying with you during the school year? That's a whole lot of attitude."

"If I could get custody of all of them, I would."

"We know, love. You don't have to apologize for being a teenager, Alexis. You know as well as we do that teenagers have little control over their emotions. They are still growing. Are there going to be days when your children push you to your wits end? Yes, absolutely. And they won't even know why they are so upset or angry . They just will be." Eric stated firmly, meeting grey eyes when they flew to his. "There were days when we didn't know if you would ever trust us or if you would ever open up because of the horrors done to you, but we still kept trying because we understood that you were a child and that you literally could not always control your response ."

"But we could always control ours. We could control what we said, how we acted, the emotions we portrayed." Tim added quietly, catching his husband's eye. He was well aware that Alexis knew all of this, she was damn good Mind-healer after all. But he also knew that for some reason she needed to hear it today.

He studied the younger woman for a long moment before nodding at Tim. He moved slowly, going from his desk to sit on one side of her. He waited a moment until Tim had joined them, sandwiching her in. It used to make her feel safe when she was younger and he was hoping it would bring her comfort today. Because whatever she was feeling, something was bothering the young headmistress. "What's on your mind, Alexis?"

She groaned, leaning into the dark-skinned healer for a moment. He could always read her so well. "I was an awful teenager and I never apologized for the way I treated you when...I left. Nor did I ever explain. And for that I am truly sorry." She answered softly, closing her eyes.

They traded glances for a moment, before he turned his eyes back to her. She had been about eighteen when that had happened. The youngest mind healer to ever certify, working full-time at a children's clinic and still studying for her charms mastery. So that had to have been seven or eight years ago now. Why on earth was she bringing this up now? "While we appreciate that, what brought this on?" Tim inquired.

She hesitated, biting her lip for a moment. Because bringing up bad memories for all three of them wasn't going to do any of them any good but she also knew she was only going to cause Filius pain and it wasn't like she could run away this time. "I didn't leave because I was angry at you. I...I ran away because you wanted to adopt me." She glanced at Tim, flinching at the hurt she could see there before looking to Eric, whose face was perfectly blank. "I didn't know what else to do. After Cissa made sure I would never run away from anywhere, ever again, she told me I should have tried talking to you first. When I floo'd her earlier, she reminded me that I had two men in my life who had always stood by me, even when I was an ass to them. That I couldn't keep running away from the things I was afraid of." Alexis pulled a letter out of her pocket, offering it to Eric, before finding the carpet interesting. She would have to replace his carpet too. Maybe just redo the whole office.

He reread the letter twice, feeling his blood boil before offering it to his husband. Although he already knew the answer, from her own statements and from how worn and old the parchment had been, he still had to ask. "When, exactly, did you receive this letter Alexis?"

She shuddered, shaking her head. "Right before I turned eighteen."

Under no circumstance are you to be adopted. You are under a blood-curse. If there is a counter I have not found it. Be careful, Alexis. He searches for you still. -Jakob. While Eric had never said it, he had put the pieces together on his own. It helped that they both had been researching blood curses during her teen years and ways to break them. So it wasn't really a secret, it just wasn't something they openly discussed. Mostly because it made both of them so angry. "So instead of telling us about a very dangerous curse, you said some rather hurtful things and ran away." Tim stated quietly, meeting gray eyes when they flew to his.

"I researched the specific curse and if I was to be adopted it wouldn't just kill me. It would kill the people adopting me. I was trying to protect you because I love you. I just didn't know how to say it." She snapped, flinching at the heavy hand that landed on her shoulder.

"You aren't in trouble, Alexis. We knew about the blood curse. We didn't tell you because you were a child and we didn't want you worrying about it or going off and doing something stupid. I realize now that we should have told you and it would have prevented us from losing you for over a year. We were trying to find ways to break the curse back then and we are still looking for ways to break it now. So is Filius. You don't have to worry about that, he knows . Between the four of us, we will find a way to break it." Eric remarked firmly. She so rarely stated that she loved them, that she loved anyone, it was a big deal. It made his heart warm. Those boys were good for her.

"I've been searching for years and I've only found one way. I can't do that. I just...can't."

"There are other ways besides murder. We will find them." He knew his child would never commit murder. Alexis' might be many things and she might have a way with charms but she wouldn't kill. Her healer's oath wouldn't allow it, for one thing, even if there were healers who had managed to go against it. They would find a way to break the curse.

She snuggled closer into the two men, letting herself feel peace for a moment. If he said they would find a way, they would. That peace didn't last long before that castle's sudden distress broke through. She bolted upright, searching for the source in her mind. "Severus!"

"Alexis?" Tim leaned forward, catching her wrist.

She tried to locate him, frowning when he suddenly vanished from the school grounds. "Fuck! Don't you have his wand, Eric?!"

He blinked, caught off guard for a moment before registering what she was saying. "I do have his wand. Why?" He had spelled the door shut earlier, not that she had noticed, so now he sent a locking charm to it, dark eyes following her rapid pacing. "Alexis. Use your words. Now."

She took a deep breath, giving herself a little shake. She only knew what Casilla had been able to tell her and she had sent Fawkes out looking, not that that would do any good if they didn't know where he had gone. But he had been on the school grounds, well within the wards. So he couldn't have apparated. Which meant he portkeyed. Shit. "I think Severus is hurt or has hurt himself. I'm not sure. Casilla doesn't know. She was screaming at me that he was in distress all of a sudden and then he just vanished." She explained after a moment, knowing that neither older healer would let her leave to track him down without an explanation

"Portkey? Where does his emergency one go?" Tim ask, raising an eyebrow. While he was aware that Severus' PTSD was getting worse and that Eric had felt the need to both take his wand and bind his magic at night, he hadn't realized it had gotten so bad he was a danger to himself.

She groaned, shaking her head. "It depends on where he thought he was." They were all well aware of when he thought he was. "The emergency portkey I made for staff and counselors only travels within the school, to my office and the medical wing. He isn't within the school. He has two or three personal portkeys, or he used to. I didn't think he was still wearing all of them, now that the war was over."

"Alexis, you still have a portkey concealed in your charm bracelet. If I remember correctly, you also used to have several emergency portkeys. Where does the one your wearing go?" Eric asked pointedly. He knew if she focused on what he was asking, they would be able to find Severus. The two young people weren't that different after all.

She wanted to argue that it was different, that she needed to wear a secondary portkey but she didn't. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, feeling Tim's reassuring hand on her arm. She could do this. She could find her brother in everything but blood before he hurt himself or someone else. "The two places I feel safest. Home and Cissa's."

Tim hid a smile, knowing instantly she didn't mean the apartment she had before she moved into the school. That had never been her home. Hell, she had slept more in random people's houses, which used to drive him nuts, and in her office, than in her own apartment. She meant their house, in Frances, and the Malfoy's home were the two places she would go. "I'll contact Remus and see if he would be at Remus' apartment. If not, I'll floo Narcissa." He stated firmly, catching her eyes.

"Floo Cissa first." She answered softly, leaning into Eric when Tim let go of her arm. She knew they would find him. But would they find him before he got hurt?

-x-

"Severus?" Lucius frowned, holding up a hand to keep Narcissa from following him further into the room. This was the room he had set their emergency portkeys to and for good reason. It had some of the strongest wards he could make surrounding it. "Floo Remus and let him know where Severus is, so he doesn't worry." He added before signing at her to get the medical kit. He could see blood but he wasn't sure where it was coming from and he remembered quite well how Severus had reacted to offers of medical treatment during the war. He was just thankful a little mindhealer had taught him sign language all those years ago.

She nodded before quickly retreating. If Lucius didn't want her to enter, it was because Severus was in such a state that he could hurt himself or one of them. This wasn't their first rodeo after all.

He could barely see him, the room was so bright. Compared to the darkness outside, he knew he should feel safer here but he could hide better under the cover of the night. They couldn't find him here, right? Could they? And what of Remus? What if they discovered his friend? They would kill him. He had to hide him. Had to get away. And the attack, the attack... the trees had attacked. Again and again and-

"Severus. Take a deep breath. You are at Malfoy Manor. You are safe here. No one will hurt you here. I dimmed the lights so they wouldn't hurt your eyes but I need you to talk to me. I know you are in there. What happened? Severus?"

"They came...all sides...the trees...the trees started attacking me...They weaponized the trees! Bristol Castle! It was Bristol Castle!" He paced rapidly, unaware that he was bleeding from multiple shallow cuts and a few rather deep lash marks.

Gods above help him. That explained the cuts at least. He must have been in the midst of a flashback out of the grounds and the Whomping Willow had started moving. He was going to have that tree removed once and for all. It was a security risk after all and a danger to the students. "Okay, it's okay. Take a deep breath. That's it. You are safe now. You weren't at Bristol, Severus. You were at Hogwarts. You are having a flashback. You are safe."

"No! It's not safe! Hogwarts isn't safe! She's at Hogwarts!"

"Who? Alexis?"He frowned when the younger man stilled, as if he was unsure for a moment. The confusion on his face gave him the tiniest hope that he might be pulling him out of the flashback.

"It was Bristol. They were there. All of them. I could hear them. The closer I got to the trees, the louder their voices became and then the trees started moving, attacking. It was...it was-"He closed his eyes, sinking to the floor and wrapping one arm around his knees.

"Severus?"

"It was just like Bristol."

He sighed softly, catching Narcissa's eye when she cautiously opened the door. He gave her a nod, taking the medical kit she held out to him. He wondered if Severus had ever told anyone what really happened at Bristol Castle. If he had told anyone what had happened to him during the war. He had a feeling that the final end of the war, even if it had ended in all actuality a few years before, wasn't the only reason Severus' PTSD was at a high right now. He had never spoken about it. He had never dealt with the trauma. Add to that the dozens of abused children at the school this summer who had been tortured, two of them in his care, that was a lot for one man to process. Especially if he refused to process it. He waited until Narcissa had left them once more before going to sit on the floor beside Severus. He was getting to old for this. "You're bleeding."

"Oh."

Oh, indeed. "May I treat your injuries?" A shrug was his only answer and he knew better than to touch him without explicit permission in this state. He had done that only once and he wouldn't make that mistake again. "Severus?"

He sighed, opening his eyes. He focused on his arm for a moment, which was bleeding before glancing at Lucius. He knew the slightly older man wouldn't hurt him and the shallow scrapes were starting to burn. "Yes."

He very slowly cast a diagnostic spell, giving a small reassuring smile to the eyes that tracked his every move before quickly stashing his wand. While he couldn't touch-heal, he had potions and salves that should do the trick, he hoped. He carefully touched his arm, stopping his movements at the sudden flinch, waiting for the small nod before gently applying a cleaning solution to the cuts he could see. Once he was sure the wounds were thoroughly cleaned, he slowly picked up the healing balm before gently spreading it over the welts and cuts. He knew it would sting but he also knew that it was the strongest healing balm he had and Severus wouldn't tolerate a spell.

He let him treat the cuts on his arms and legs, barely moving, just shifting slightly, head bowed. He didn't want to think about it. He knew where he was now and what happened was slowly coming to him. He had always known where he was. He had come here because this was were he felt safest. Here and with his family, but a part of his mind had wanted to protect Remus, so he had fled to here. Just like the last time...He flinched, jerking back at the hand on his shoulder.

He wasn't going to remove his shirt without his permission, even if he had removed his robes. Robes were one thing but Lucius was well aware he would get hexed if he didn't warn Severus before trying to treat the wounds on his back and chest. "I need to tend to the rest of your wounds. I need you to remove your shirt. Can you do that for me?"

He couldn't. He couldn't. He would go back there. He didn't want to go back there! He didn't want to be touched!

"Severus. Severus. You are at Malfoy Manor. You are safe. No one will hurt you here. I promised you that, remember? You are safe here. You are safe. I just want to treat your injuries. That's all. I can do it with my wand-"

"No!"

"Okay, okay. I have the wound balm you made, that is what I used on your arms and your calves. I will use that on your back and chest. But you have some nasty cuts from that tree that I really need to treat. You are safe here." He calmed, sighing softly. He knew he was going to have to get Severus to talk about it. He should have made him talk about it years ago but the young man had refused and it had been all he could do to get him to let him heal him.

He hesitated, biting into his lip. He knew deep down that Lucius would never hurt him, especially like that. He took a deep breath, trying to get his shields back into place, to calm the turmoil in his mind, before carefully removing his shirt. He still flinched when a gentle hand started tending to the cuts on his back but he also knew Lucius would never think less of him for it. The older man knew.

He silently tended to the wounds on the potion masters back and chest before carefully replacing his shirt. He would have to find him a clean one, that shirt couldn't be very comfortable. But first he knew they would need to talk. "Can you tell me what happened?"

He shook his head, not looking at the older man. He already knew what happened, so he didn't know why he was asking.

"Severus, we have to talk about it."

"No, we don't. I had a flashback, I know that. No one got hurt." He growled finally, staring at the wall. What did he want from him?! If he could stop it, he would. He didn't want this to happen. He didn't want to end up in his emergency portkey room regularly because he kept having flashbacks. Maybe he should stop running away from them? Stop using the portkeys when he thought he was in danger? He didn't even know anymore.

As much as he wanted to shake him, he didn't. He knew better than to touch Severus without his permission when he was in this state. "You got hurt. Pretty badly in some places. I don't want you to stop coming here when you are in danger or when you feel like you are in danger, but we have to talk about it. You can't keep locking it in. The flashbacks won't get better until you talk about it." He stated finally.

"I have a mind-healer for that."

"And have you told them about Celtic? Hiro? Yennin? Have you talked to them about Bristol?"

He closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead for a moment. He had only told Eric about one of those places and he would like to forget all of them. There were more villages, castles, and strong-holds that he had fought at of course, but those had been some of the worst. "Yennin."

Of course he had talked about Yennin. He was pretty sure everyone on both sides had nightmares about Yennin. After all, it wasn't often Inferi were seen, even in the wizarding world and they didn't care who they attacked. "I know it is hard to talk about the war, Severus. It took me awhile to talk to my healer about it. But if you don't talk to someone about it, it won't get better. You will always have PTSD but talking about it can help you manage it. It can help your PTSD go into a remission of sorts, it will be easier to handle. You have to talk about it."

He grimaced, shaking his head. "I can't."

"Why?"

"I...I don't want them to think less of me."

"Then talk to me. I'm here. You know that. But Sev, they won't. " He replied quietly, catching dark eyes when they flew to his. "You have to talk about it."

But he couldn't talk about them! Didn't Lucius understand that?! And suddenly he snorted, shaking his head. : "I can't!" "Okay. Can you tell me why?" "Because!" "Because?" "I'll get in trouble if I tell you, don't you understand! It hurts to talk about it! And I'll get hurt!" :
Gods above, he loved all of those children but especially the two who lived with him and Remus. His argument to Lucius was the same as the children's argument to him, to any of their counselors. They couldn't talk about it because it was painful and hard and they would get hurt if they did, even if it was only an emotional hurt. Merlin.

"Severus?" He called quietly, not quite sure where the other man had gone to. He didn't normally start chuckling for no reason but then again, he was lost in his own thoughts. He could be anywhere.

"Sorry, I was...thinking about something the children often say. Their reasoning for not talking about what happened to them is that it hurts too much. I just realized that I was subscribing to the same belief. " He responded, not bothering to look up resting his head on his knees. He was so tired. Tired of fighting and running. Tired of the nightmares. Tired of the fear that he would hurt one of his children. Because that's what he was most afraid of. Hurting one of his kids, even if they hadn't been his for very long. He still loved them and he wanted to protect them, even if what he was protecting them from was himself. "Bristol was the most painful, longest three weeks of my life. I always thought breaking up with Remus or attempting my Mastery...but no. Bristol." He admitted finally, running one hand through his hair before sighing. He hated thinking about Bristol almost as much as he hated talking about it.

He waited for a few minutes to see if he would continue before speaking. "Can you tell me about it?" The blond-haired man inquired.
He hesitated, biting his lip for a moment. "Did you know Bristol was the only time I was ever...with a woman?"

Lucius forced down a sigh, shaking his head. That was not an argument he wanted to have tonight but he had known that. As he had tried to explain to a sobbing nineteen year-old Severus who had thought that his partner would hate him for something he couldn't control, rape was not the same as consensual adult relationships. "Yes, I did. But that's not what that is Severus, and you know it. It has a name. You were raped and tortured for three weeks at Bristol. You can deny parts of it if you want to, but we both know what happened there. " He answered after a moment.

The potions master grimaced, glancing up. He hated that word. It was one thing when they used it with Karrie, it was another to use it for himself. It wasn't the same. But a small part of him told himself that if Harry had been tortured like Karrie had, he wouldn't let the child pretend like it hadn't happened. Just like they didn't let Teddy pretend like it didn't happen. Wizarding children were raised to respect the names of things, to know that there was power in words, to understand that. He knew that. In taking away his own words, was he taking away his own power? Was he taking away his voice? "Yes I was tortured. I was beaten and whipped and lashed. I was thrown in a courtyard and they magicked a tree to life just for the hell of it. I watched three of the people I was captured with die in front of me, one by one, horrifying deaths. One of my friends had his throat crushed but he didn't die and he laid there, suffering for three hours just slowly dying. I didn't even know that was fucking possible. We were fucking kids and they were torturing us for information we didn't even have. We knew a rescue wasn't coming, we had been told if we got caught, we were on our own. So I knew we were all as good as dead. I just kept trying to figure out how to escape, how to get the five of us out of there. Bristol was where my virginity was stolen from me. I had been saving it for Remus. But I was raped, repeatedly, by women and men. Anyone who wanted a go. They were trying to break us for information. You can't break what isn't there. And honestly, I think we were set up. They were waiting for us. They knew the route we were going, where we were heading. They caught all five of us on five separate routes. I am the only remaining survivor of Bristol, did you know that?" He tried to keep the emotion out of his voice, tried to blink back the tears that threatened to fall, tried to force back the feelings he didn't want to have, the thoughts that kept creeping in.

He blinked at the sudden change, having a sinking feeling at where this was going. "What happened to Peter?" Of the five who were held at Bristol, three had died over the three weeks there and the two survivors, Peter and Severus had gone on to fight in the war, against the advice of healers and their friends, but at the urging of the leadership. Gods, sometimes he hated Albus Dumbledore. All the harm that man had done. He only knew the horrors of Bristol because he had led the rescue party when he found out they were being held there and he had led the investigation into the war crimes that had happened at Bristol. That had left him with nightmares and he knew he didn't know everything. Knowing Severus watched a boy suffocate to death made him want to be sick, he could only imagine how it made Severus feel. He did know from the emotion in his voice, that he was fighting himself, trying to keep his emotions locked inside. It wouldn't work. It never did with him.

"He committed suicide a month ago."

Wasn't that when his flashbacks started back up again? When they became much worse? "Severus-"

"I am well aware that there might be correlation between my flashbacks and Peter's suicide, but no, I haven't mentioned it to Eric. I'll do that...tomorrow?" He interrupted, shaking his head.

"If you don't talk to Eric, I will. And I can assure you, Eric will not be happy if I have to tell him. You know that." Lucius replied silkily, smirking when the younger man grimaced. The young man knew he would do it too.

He finally looked up, meeting his friend's eyes. He honestly didn't care. He didn't want to tell Eric. Eric asked too many questions. And exploring Bristol with Eric would be even more painful than telling Lucius. Because he would tell the healer much more. More than he ever wanted to admit. He didn't want to talk about how they had planned to kill each other or their last efforts to escape or what, exactly, had happened to Pali. He didn't even want to think of those things. Those images that haunted his nightmares. His waking hours. The horrors he couldn't undo. He ran a hand across his face, grimacing at the wetness.

"Severus, we've talked about this. We all cry sometimes."

He gave a half-laugh, half sob, that was exactly what he told his children after all, before launching into Lucius' open arms. He flinched slightly when they tighten around him before resting his head on the older man's chest and sobbing silently.

He soothed a hand over his back for a while, waiting out the worst of the tears. He was well aware that the younger man needed this. He probably hadn't cried since the last time he had him in this position, when he rescued him and Peter from Bristol. He had made both men stay with him for a night to get medical care before letting Peter go home to his family but Severus...he had kept Severus here for two weeks. Severus hadn't had a family to put him back together. It had been his job to put those pieces back in place, his job to calm those nightmares, to help his friend through some of the worst weeks of his life. The younger man never told him much about Bristol during those weeks, he wouldn't speak about it, but he did tell him other things. He felt the shaking in his shoulders even out, as a tired potion master rested his head on his shoulder. He conjured a handkerchief, feeling the arm that had been wrapped around him loosen as the younger man started to pull away. He gently captured his chin, carefully wiping his face off and meeting dark eyes before handing the handkerchief over. "Tea?"

"Please."

"I'll floo Remus and tell him you are spending the night here. Not an option, Severus." He stated firmly, slowly moving to stand. He was getting way too old to sit on the floor like this. Next time, he was making Severus sit on the couch or a chair. Why did it always have to be the floor?

"And what, pray, will you tell him?" He asked silkily, not bothering to get up. His bones ached. He knew it was from the encounter with the whomping willow and from being in this position on the floor for so long.

"The truth .You've had a bad episode, you're exhausted, and you are staying the night where I can keep an eye on you. You can sleep in your room or mine, little brother, but you are staying here."

He grumbled under his breath for a moment before nodding. He hated it when he used that tone. That was the tone he used with Alexis. The I'm older than you and you'll do as I say tone. But he hated when it was used on him. "Fine." He muttered, finally pushing himself off the floor and toward one of the chairs. He might as well get comfortable. He knew they would be here for a while. Tea, at least, would help him feel more human.

-x-