A/N: Okay, haai everyone. I know I should be updating my other fic but I first want to write some chapters before I start to update again. This story takes place in 5x22. I did like the episode a lot but god, I wanted CB to reunite already. yup, I'm impatient like that. and omg, CB possibly marrying in the premiere.. let me die. *_*
enjoooy. :')
"They locked us in here." Chuck hammered against the door, fidgeting with the doorknob.
The woman, who had shown them the rooms, had just left a second ago and they've already locked them in there. Jack probably knew they were here, Blair thought, and he didn't want Chuck to find out whatever he was supposed to.
"So?" Blair piped up looking at him. "What are we going to do now?"
"I don't know." He responded, his hand on his forehead, clearly in thought.
She just observed him, his every move. He had changed, she knew, but she saw the invisible weight burdening him. He had had so much to deal with and it made her heart ache to see that there was still no ending in sight to his family drama. She saw that he was exhausted, she'd be, too if it was her who had to go through all of this but she wasn't and she was trying to be strong for him.
He'd been there for her when she was at her lowest, or at least tried to reach out to her, when she didn't want him to be there at times. He'd tried, she knew, the best he could. He'd paid the dowry for her, and although she'd thrown terrible assumptions in his way, she now knew his intentions were pure and not evil.
She couldn't help but feel guilty for accusing him of trying to "buy" her back. She knew he'd changed, she could see it; He was different, more serious and kind of at peace with himself. He'd changed for the better and it strangely gave her a warm feeling that she couldn't quite explain. A positive one, that just led her to observe him even more.
He had seemed to feel her gaze for he looked at her and smiled faintly. That easing feeling that was rushing through her body though suddenly disappeared and she noticed something that let her heart sink just the tiniest bit.
She noticed that he looked at her differently. He didn't gaze at her like he always used to. He seemed distanced, unsure and not quite like the Bass she knew.
She didn't know how just one uncharacteristic look from him could make her feelings shift so drastically. It wasn't a look that annoyed her, not one of those he gave her in the past, longing ones or desirable ones. He smiled at her as if she was just an acquaintance that he barely knew. It looked like he was trying to put a barrier between them, to avoid any unwanted incidents.
He'd never been like that, even when she'd been with someone else.
He'd always tried to woo her, always, no matter what. There had been nothing that could have stopped him from always reminding her that they were it. Telling her that they're inevitable, that she should be with him, that they're the ones with fireworks. This time, however, she noticed in dismay that he'd not once tried to tear her and Humphrey apart. He'd tried before she decided to date Humphrey but he'd stopped after she'd told him that she was not in love with him anymore.
And suddenly she was scared, so very scared that she might have screwed it up for good this time. She slowly smiled back though, not letting him see what horrible thoughts were crossing her mind.
"Why would they lock us in here?" Chuck queried, his eyes landing on her.
She just looked at him, her mind was not functioning right yet, her thoughts still preoccupied with thoughts that didn't seem to leave her.
"I don't know, maybe they are trying to protect you from something, Chuck." Blair answered after shaking her head slightly to clear her head.
"Blair, you know Jack. And Diana doesn't seem like a genuine person either, so I doubt they are trying to protect me from anything. I just want to know the truth. I'm sick of all these secrets." He let out, inhaling deeply and closing his eyes briefly.
She walked towards him then, because seeing him like that triggered something in her. A feeling that she'd buried deep inside her.
"Hey," She touched his arm gently and searched his eyes.
"You'll get through this." She encouraged him, reaching down, taking his hand and squeezing it lightly. "And I'll be here." She continued, her look determined, swallowing slowly. "No matter what." She added at last and again she offered him a smile and seeing him smile back at her, made her feel a little better.
Their eyes were still locked and her smile diminished because she knew that she couldn't hold herself back. There was still something, something that she'd never be able to fight off.
And then before she could think properly what she's doing, her lips brushed his softly and for that second she could forget every other thing. Forget about what had happened in the past, forget where they stood now, it was just them.
She felt whole.
But when she pulled away, she heard him sigh. He didn't look at her and breathed out heavily.
"I shouldn't have asked you to come." He said and she instantly reeled back a bit. He finally met her gaze and she knew that he saw her confused look.
"Blair, you're with Dan." He reminded her and she felt her throat grow tighter. "I asked you to come because you're a master when it comes to these kinds of things but I didn't want you to come and make it harder for me and for yourself. It's hard enough as it is, I can't handle it with you giving me false hope." He added remorsefully, his eyes shifting to the floor.
She didn't know what to say back and just blinked a few times. "I – I, you're right." She finally settled.
She walked back to the bed and sat down. The room was filled with silence; no word was uttered for a while.
All of a sudden she felt tears fill her eyes, she broke.
He was right. She couldn't do this to him, she'd tortured him enough this year. From the corner of her eyes she saw him walking towards her and hesitantly sat down next to her.
"I'm sorry." She said; her voice not as steady as she wished it to be.
She didn't look at him just captured one of his hands, which was inches away from hers, with hers. "Chuck", she started and her fingers touched his softly. "You should know that I've forgiven you for everything you've done in the past. I just really want you to know that." She told him without looking in his direction.
It was important to her, that he knew that she wasn't punishing him for his past mistakes. It lay in the past and she could see how very horrible he felt for the things he'd done and she knew that the recently constant reminders from her side didn't help his transformation to become a better person, which in her eyes, he'd already become.
"Thanks." He said almost inaudible. "That means a lot to me." He added lowly.
They sat there, silently, her tiny hand above his and she couldn't draw her eyes away from their connected hands.
He turned his hand so his palm was against hers, intertwining their fingers together.
"You know, although I know that you're not in love with me, I actually can't stop loving you." He broke the silence, his voice was so clear it echoed in her ears. He was opening up, talking sincerely, showing his vulnerable side which he barely let anyone see. He let out a pained laugh, trying to act like it's no big deal.
"Chuck…" The tears had dried before but she felt new ones forming.
"It's the truth." He told her, his smile weak. She looked up at him but now it was his gaze who was fixated on their intertwined hands. "I just don't know what I did to screw it up this time." She saw his absent stare, his fingers stroking hers gently.
"You didn't screw it up." She immediately responded, because it wasn't his fault, at all.
He let go of her hand and took the warmth with him. He stood up, pacing in the room. She just stared at him, saying nothing.
"Then what changed?" He said after a while, halting and looking at her with raised eyebrows. "Why are you with Humphrey? I just want to understand." He told her honestly, his eyes boring through her, as if he'd find out why by just looking at her.
She cleared her throat, compressing her lips and finding the courage to meet his gaze again.
"It's different with Dan. It's not hard and I don't have to worry that we will mess it up because we will, it's inevitable, I know that much. But it wouldn't turn my world upside down; it would be just that, you know, a breakup. It wouldn't hurt me the way it always hurt when we, you and me, couldn't work it out." She confessed, now she was standing, too.
He had a look of astonishment on his face, his eyes were wide, and he probably was letting her words dawn in.
"And the reason I'm not with you, is not because I don't love you Chuck, because I do love you. I am in love with you. I don't think that I ever be able to stop feeling it." She said bearing her heart on her tongue, tears already erupting again. "But Chuck, if we try again and it won't last I couldn't bear it. It would destroy me beyond repair. And it didn't work the last time, something's always getting in the way and it just – it's like the whole universe is against us." She finished, it felt good to let her guard down, finally telling the truth. She felt tears leaving trails down her cheeks.
She'd been scared that if they get back together they would fuck it up again, because it seemed like that's what they were both best at.
She didn't look away from him, not even for a millisecond and she saw his throat moving and him swallowing hard. He was the one who looked away, maybe to brace himself she didn't know.
She was not sure what to expect now, his eyes were closed and his head moved to the side. Her heart was thumping wildly and her hands were clutched together tightly. She needed him to say something to tell her that they could get through all of this, that if they get back together again that it would mean they'll last.
She didn't need more.
When he looked back at her, she realized that all of this, all this mess, her mess that she'd thought had cost her every bit of energy and nerves, hadn't gone unnoticed on him either. She'd dragged him along, and he'd been hurting, too maybe more than she had.
He breathed out again and she held her breath for a second.
"Come here." He reached out one of his hand and pulled at her arms until she was surrounded by him, his chin resting on top of her head. "We won't mess it up. I know we won't."
Her hands were at his chest going up to his shoulders to hug him tightly. She'd missed him, she'd missed his scent, his strong arms and just being so near him. She felt him kissing the top of her head and she finally looked up to see him looking back at her.
"I love you, Blair." He told her again, "And if we try again I promise you, that neither of us will mess it up." He assured her again and she did relax at his words. "And nothing will get in the way." He added, exhaling noisily and he seemed so sure of his words that she believed him without second thoughts.
"And I love you, I always will, Chuck." She saw his eyes lighting up and he looked genuinely happy, happier than she'd seen him in a while. It made her heart swell to know it was because of her, of them.
Her lips moved upwards, her eyes softening even more, she loved him so much, she knew that he's it, he was the one. She couldn't kill those feelings, the only thing she could do was distract herself with others but the feeling wouldn't disappear, it would always be there and right now she figured that she didn't want it to ever leave.
She moved closer to him, her lips touching his gently, kissing him and he kissed her back instantly.
"What about Dan?" He asked after breaking the kiss, looking a little tortured and she caressed his cheek lovingly.
"I'll take care of that." She answered, leaning in and kissing him again, her lips smooth against his.
It felt right. This was it, she knew, that would be their last and lasting reunion.
A/N: thanks for reading :'D