#2—Past

The sudden blast still rang in her ears. Though this was a lasting effect for a while, it too faded. What didn't fade was the shock that the ricocheting particles had hit the man she loved. The man she loved but never got the chance to tell. The heartbreak would hit her at random times of the day. It would hit her and double her over with pain and make her fall to her knees.

She visited him every day. Though he was broken and mangled, there was no other place she would rather be. She sat on the side of his bed and whispered to him, telling him every part of her day, in the hopes that he would wake up. She often left the hospital doing something that was not in her character to do: crying. Toph never cried. She never let her emotions show through the healthy coating of earth. But this was different. This was her best friend. The man she loved. This was a matter bigger herself, bigger than anything else. This was life or death.

Her mind played over what happened over and over. It played over what would have happened if she weren't there.

The evening sun melted into the horizon. Toph's booming voice echoed around the clearing. She was saying something, but Sokka wasn't paying attention, he was too preoccupied with counting the vague colors in her blind eyes.

Something flew through the air and exploded mere feet in front of the pair. Sokka pulled Toph behind him and he took the brunt of the damage, the majority of the ricocheting debris. Within a second of taking the debris, Sokka fell to the ground in a heap. His labored breathing was one of the only sounds in the small clearing for a moment.

She couldn't shake the feeling that all this happened because of her. The fleeing faces of the cowards that had bombarded them with explosives were ones she recognized from the Earth Rumble Six. They were the faces of the opponents she had squashed beneath her unfaltering rock.

Toph stretched her arms out beneath his mangled body and lifted with her back, making Sokka groan and blood spill over her arms. She ran as if her life depended on it. It did.

When she entered Ba Sing Se's walls, her arms were completely covered in thick blood. She couldn't decipher where anything was from the excess in footsteps and vibrations. She was beginning to get a headache. But she carried on even still. This was a matter bigger than herself.

Toph thought she saw him move. "Nurse!" She said excitedly. "Nurse, he moved!"

"I'm sorry, but he didn't." The nurse said, crushing all of Toph's hopes.

Toph spent her day doing something she had never done before: praying. She begged Oma and Shu to let Sokka wake up. To let him come back to her. She begged until her eyes were red and her voice choked. This was unusual for her. Toph never begged.

Despite the amount of begging and pleading, the Spirits let Sokka lay unconscious even still. Were they trying to teach Toph a lesson?

Toph sat by the side of his bed day by day, talking to him. Just boring drabble. But one day, she said something a little more meaningful. "Sokka, I love you."

The days dragged on and dragged Toph's hopes through the mud along with them. As the days came to a close, Toph's hopes would return, battered beyond belief, and give her a false sense of security that would only flee the next morning.

Toph hadn't been to the academy in nearly a month. She had told her assistant that she would be gone indefinitely. When she would be back was not the real question, if she would be back was. The future held so many options that Toph would drive herself insane thinking of them. These options were hardly euphoric. They were generally grim in nature and ruthless by design.

After about a month, Toph's hopes were completely gone, not. The prospects of Sokka awakening were slim, if not absent.

It took root inside of her. Its odd sensation left her confused. It was not something she experienced often, almost not at all. Although she denied its existence, it was still present on occasions. Rare occasions that would leave her body shaking and tears streaming down her face. This was one of those occasions, an occasion that was both hostile and stressful.

Sokka lay there, beaten and scarred, broken and mangled, on the hospital bed. His labored breaths cut into Toph like sharp, icy daggers. Her eyes were wet with—what was that? Tears? No, no, Toph doesn't cry.

She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, getting nothing in return. The tears streaming down her face became more desperate, more heartbroken. She wanted so badly for him to come back. Toph felt like she couldn't breathe; her desperate demeanor turned to hysteria and a nurse had to escort her out.

After a month of hoping in vain, Toph let all of her hope go. There was nothing she could do and she hated it. She hated feeling helpless. She hated the pathetic feeling of being useless.

As if on cue to bring hope alive again, Sokka's bright eyes snapped open. Katara excitedly walked into the hall, greeted by Toph and Aang's gloomy faces. "He's awake!" she said.

Toph jumped up, hope returning to her veins. "Really? Can I see him?" she didn't wait for a response, she just ran to her friend's room. "Sokka!"

"Who are you?" The tribesman asked.

Toph's face fell. "Your best friend." She muttered quietly. "Um, I'll be right back."

Katara jumped up excitedly. "How is he?"

"He doesn't remember me." Toph said, sadness entering her voice and a small tear running down her face.

Katara opened her arms. Toph walked into them, burying her face into her shirt. "I'm so sorry Toph." Katara said before the realization hit her. "That means her probably doesn't remember me and Aang either."

"No, I'm sure he'll remember at least you Katara. He has been stuck with you for most of his life."

Toph sat solemnly as Katara went to visit her brother. Aang accompanied the Waterbender, leaving Toph alone to her own thoughts. Putting her head to rest on her fist, Toph let out a long sigh. She could hear the laughing coming from the direction of Sokka's room. He obviously remembered Katara.

Toph could hear footsteps. Whoever it was, she didn't want to talk. "Hey Toph. Great news, he remembers me!"

"I noticed Sugar Queen." Toph said, blinking back tears. Even though her tone was harsh, Katara could tell she was masking the hurt.

Just then, Aang walked out into the small lobby the two girls were in. "Hey guys. Can you believe it? He remembers me!"

Toph couldn't hold it in anymore. She stormed out of the lobby and left the hospital in tears once again. Aang and Katara exchanged a surprised glance and ran after their Earthbending friend. It was too late, Toph was already gone.

"Think the fact that Sokka remembers us and not her hurt a little bit?" Aang asked his girlfriend.

"I don't know. This is Toph we're talking about." The Waterbender replied.

Aang thought about it a moment. "Yes but even Toph has feelings."

Her feet pounded the sidewalk, tears poured down her face. He didn't remember her, he didn't remember that she loved him. Toph felt vibrations in the sidewalk. "Go away Twinkletoes. Why don't you go spend some time with Snoozles and talk about some fantastic memories?" The blind girl said before her throat locked.

"Toph. I'm eighteen years old. Do you think we can stop with the nicknames?"

"Nope. Not gonna happen." Toph said.

Katara caught up with her boyfriend to see Toph's back turned to him. "Toph, I'm sorry about that. I just got so excited that my brother remembered that I didn't think about your feelings."

Toph turned her face to Katara a moment. "And you really think I didn't notice?" she said. "That didn't hurt too badly actually."

"Really? Because you sure seemed mad at me."

Toph sighed. "I was, but something else hurt a little more."

"What would that be?" the young Avatar asked.

"I don't really want to talk about it."

It's time to let go of the past and move on.