DENIAL

The truth is out and rumours are spreading... how will Sephiroth handle this?

Meanwhile, Cloud reached a hard decision with the help of his friend.

Chapter 17: Those Words

Sephiroth felt as if his head were about to explode.

The previous feeling of euphoria and indescribable passion had quickly left his body and been replaced with a sickness; the fear and panic overwhelming him. Zack remained by his side throughout, marching beside him as the two of them swiftly made their way outside, practically running towards the group of men waiting alongside the trucks. It was time to leave, but Sephiroth had no intention of leaving just yet, not when rumours were circulating.

Rumours that were undeniably true.

The men all halted to silence as they noticed Sephiroth storming down the hill, worried in case he had overheard their conversation. All of them were speculating, wondering whether the suggestions Rufus had made were true. The man had only had to drop a single subtle hint, before all of the men had begun spreading around the information as if it were an infectious disease.

Sephiroth could practically smell the suspicious atmosphere.

Although the men were curious, and desperate to know what had happened, not a single one of them had the courage to directly confront Sephiroth about it. Regardless of whether the rumours were true, the General could still slice a hole in their stomach; they all feared and respected him him. In their hearts they prayed it wasn't true - the man they viewed as the most powerful and influential character in the business couldn't be gay… he couldn't have slept with a rookie teenager…

The General approached them, the sweat pouring from his forehead as he trembled internally; if he were to outright deny it, without being questioned, would it come across as suspicious? Sephiroth swallowed down the lump in his throat, struggling to breathe as he began imagining all of the terrible things they were picturing. It wasn't as if he could comfortably deny it, because no matter how much he lied to both them, and himself, it had happened.

And there was nothing that could change that.

Sephiroth couldn't even comprehend whether he regretted what had happened anymore. The memory of Cloud moaning and writhing beneath him flashed in his mind again and again, but he was in no mental state to reach a decision. All that mattered to him now was clearing things up, ensuring that he regained his slowly deteriorating reputation and image.

The blonde was no longer of vital importance, certainly not at that moment in time.

"Well then," Zack interjected, towering above the group of them, menacingly. "Is there something you want to ask, Sephiroth? As you've all been so keen to discuss it amongst yourselves."

The General watched as the men stiffened, and back away, terrified; he could see the question lurking against their lips, but no man was daring enough to ask it. No man but one, who confidently stormed up to Sephiroth and stood close enough that the man could feel his breath.

The man in question was the blonde's room mate, Leon.

"I'll be the one to ask it," he said, although without reluctance, evidently not afraid of the man.

Sephiroth did not initially recognise the man's intentions, but Leon wasn't acting this way out of confidence, or lack of respect. As soon as he'd heard the rumours, the man had felt an anger boil inside of him that he'd been helpless to control. Leon knew everything; the blonde had poured his heart out to him, and given him insight on how selfish Sephiroth had been.

It was already too late to ram the blonde's virginity back up between his legs, but Leon wasn't comfortable with Sephiroth denying what had happened. If he had been idiotic enough to allow himself to get into such a situation, then he should have to deal with the consequences. The blonde had somehow managed to become an important part in his life, and he felt a duty to protect him. It didn't help that the image of Sephiroth pounding into his delicate room mate continued to flash in his head and bring out his murderous instinct.

"Did you sleep with Cloud Strife?" Leon growled, unmoved by Sephiroth's piercing glare.

The General knew that this man was Cloud's roommate; he had stalked the blonde enough, and researched about him to know this information. Sephiroth tensed, knowing that this brought a threat to the situation, especially if the blonde had revealed private things to his room mate. The thought of Leon knowing what Sephiroth had done made him sick with fear; it was one thing downright denying it to a bunch of unknowing men, but denying it to someone who knew the truth was a completely different story. It gave Leon the chance to question it, and Sephiroth could not simply intimidate the man or threaten him; no other had ever squared up to him like this. The General could feel Leon's breath upon his lips, as the man towered above, squaring up to him.

But it wasn't enough to make him tell the truth.

"Of course not," he spat, although his voice a little shaky as he spoke. "I'm offended you would even reach that assumption, despite what rumours you've heard."

"I am not homosexual, I am not interested in relations with my staff members, especially those of a younger age, I would never, ever condone that behaviour."

What are you saying?

Sephiroth was ashamed of the words leaving his mouth, but…

As he watched a sense of relief wash over the men before him, and a murderous glint flicker in Leon's eyes, the General at last allowed himself to feel an emotion other than fear and shame. Sephiroth felt confident that he had destroyed the rumour, at least to the majority, and it allowed his usual sense and confidence to return to him. But with it, the awful sensation of guilt appeared, and the General felt his heart sink heavily in his chest. It was as if reality was at last resurfacing out of the shadows, and the consequence of his actions becoming clear.

The thought of Cloud sprung into his head, and Sephiroth felt himself be paralysed with anxiety as he urged himself to turn his head sideways and see if the blonde in question was in sight.

But he needn't have questioned it, as he noticed a flicker of sadness and disappointment surface in Leon's eyes, and a suspicious excitement bubble amongst the group of men. Sephiroth closed his eyes and released a loud sigh, mentally preparing himself for the conversation to arise. Although he didn't perceive the blonde to be foolish, and did not fear he would reveal the depth of the General's deceit to the men, he couldn't face lying with the blonde right next to him.

Sephiroth could actually feel himself holding back something, tears perhaps? No, he had never cried, and never would, but it was an incredible misery. The General didn't mean the words coming from his mouth, and last night had been beautiful, mesmerising; Sephiroth had never wanted anything as much as the blonde. But what else could he have done in this situation?

Cloud had to understand… didn't he?

One of the men threw the blonde a cocky look, evidently more comfortable in addressing him than the General.

"What's your say on the matter?" he asked him.

Sephiroth stiffened, reluctantly turning his head to the side as he felt a presence beside him, disappointed to discover that Cloud had chosen to stand directly next to him. The General looked at him for as long as possible without seeming suspicious, his heart racing in his chest. Sephiroth could not comprehend whether he had felt greater fear knowing that the rumour was circulating, or knowing that he had betrayed the blonde. As Sephiroth stared at his features, he was surprised to see that Cloud looked neither betrayed, or sad… he looked…

… Empty.

Absolutely void of emotion.

"I'm sure General Sephiroth has given a sufficient enough answer," the blonde answered, almost sarcastically, intentionally meaning to upset the man beside him.

The men scoffed at him. "Of course!" one shouted, swiftly becoming apologetic for his assumptions. "We knew you weren't some fairy, Strife, what a ridiculous idea!"

Leon drove a wedge between the blonde and Sephiroth, placing a comforting had on his friends shoulder as Cloud's eyes darkened at the comment. The General panicked, sensing that something dangerous was about to happen, but became relieved to witness the blonde walking away from the group, leaving no comment to ease their questioning.

However, as the General at last allowed himself to relax, and the men began to continue their conversation, something stirred in the blonde, as he stopped in his tracks and turned to the group of them.

Zack was about to follow him, waiting to provide support, but became frozen also as Cloud glared at his comrades and thought not of the repercussions he would face.

"No, don't get me mistaken," he told them, confident in his delivery.

"I am gay."

The men were stunned to silence, Sephiroth's eyes widening in disbelief as the announcement slipped from the blonde's lips.

"I'm not ashamed to admit that," he continued, now looking directly at Sephiroth. "But that does not change mine or the General's relationship, nor should it change your view on me."

And with that, he disappeared, Zack swiftly joining his side as the two headed towards the trucks.

The previous expression, void of emotion that had masked Cloud's face at last slipped and became replaced with a heart-wrenching sign of misery, as he finally succumbed to the reality and fell crashing onto the empty seat.

As he watched his friend, Zack quickly stole the empty seat beside him and wrapped his arm around the blonde. The sign of affection seemed to startle Cloud, who immediately wiped his tears and smoothed himself down, stubborn in his actions. He did not want Zack knowing how much he was hurting; it would give Sephiroth the upper hand, and deem him weak. There was definitely sadness within him, but the blonde also felt an anger that he had not experienced before.

Sephiroth was not going to destroy him, not again.

"I don't mind if you cry," Zack reassured him, tightening the grip around his friend.

The blonde shook his head, finally allowing himself to laugh. "Fuck no, the sight of me crying is not an attractive one, and besides, I have nothing to feel sad about."

Zack felt a surge of relief flow through him. "So nothing did happen, then?"

The blonde paused, bowing his head in shame. "No, it did, we did everything," he admitted to him, as his hands began trembling in his lap. "But I should have known what would happen."

"No," Zack interjected firmly, jokingly punching his fist against the blonde's arm. "Sephiroth should have been able to restrain himself, if he wasn't prepared for the repercussions."

The blonde stared up at his friend, eyes filled with passion, practically glimmering as he recalled the previous night. "It was as if I was experiencing a different person," he told him, remembering how Sephiroth had held him in the morning. "I actually saw a caring and gentle side of him."

"So…" Zack said awkwardly, unable to look the blonde in the eye. "How far did the two of you actually end up going? What does 'everything' stand for?"

Cloud blushed in response.

"We did everything, that's what I mean by everything."

The man sighed, ashamed at his friend, not the blonde, but the older, supposedly maturer friend.

"Sephiroth took your virginity," he clarified, surprising Cloud with his bluntness towards it.

Zack at last turned to face his friend. "And I'm guessing you took his, too."

There was an uncomfortable silence in the truck, as the two friends sat and thought deeply to themselves, wondering how to approach the situation being given to them. The older of the two wanted so desperately to protect his friend, to deliver the brutal truth to him, but didn't know how much heartache he could muster. The blonde wanted so desperately to erase what had happened the previous night and neglect how weak it had made him feel.

"Look, Cloud…"

"Sephiroth is never, ever going to give up his reputation," Zack told him, hesitating to continue his sentence, as he struggled to be honest with him. "There will never be a time where he feels ready to give something up to be with you, or make himself vulnerable."

The blonde already knew this information to be true, but found it harder to admit whilst hearing it from someone else lips.

"That's why you need to promise me that you'll never allow this to happen again," Zack said, throwing the blonde towards him as he held him tightly. "I'm being serious here."

The blonde was startled at his friends passion, but dumbfoundedly nodded his head regardless.

"Yes, I promise," he said, and he meant it, he really mean it.

Zack sighed in relief, throwing his friend a smile. "Good, then tonight, you end this."

The blonde tilted his head, confused. "Excuse me?"

"Tonight, I am going invite Sephiroth to my apartment," he explained to him. "However, I won't be there, and instead you will be. I have no idea where the guys mindset is right now, or whether he will try to end this first, but I need you to be strong and finish this, make it clear that this is the end."

The thought of going through with Zack's plan did not in the slightest frighten him. At that moment in time, Cloud felt angry and betrayed enough to slice a sword through Sephiroth's chest.

It was the least he owed his friend.

"It's a deal," he agreed.

The streets of Midgar were animated that night, the buildings and street lights blaring various vibrant colours as the outside world flourished. Cloud stared at the view, the sight of opportunity and the place he had once dreamed to live in filling his heart with sadness. The blonde wasn't naturally tempered, so throughout the night his boiling anger had gradually left his body and been replaced with nothing but misery. Although he knew there was no other choice, he couldn't help but feel reluctant to go ahead with the plan as he stared at the world before him.

There were only happy thoughts buzzing through his head, as he desperately tried to convince himself that this was the right thing to do; the only thing to do. The thought of how Sephiroth had looked at him, spoke to him, and embraced him as if he were the only person in the world. Cloud could never see anyone else making him so content in such a brief moment. And that's what hurt the most, the fact that it was so brief, and so short winded.

The sound of the door echoed through the apartment, Cloud releasing a soft sigh as he listened to the sound of Sephiroth's footsteps nearing towards the living room. As the General entered the room, the blonde heard him stop at the sight of him, neither person speaking for a few minutes as the two of them stared aimlessly.

"I thought it might be you that greeted me," Sephiroth at last spoke, stepping towards the blonde.

Cloud turned to face him, the butterflies reappearing in his chest as he gazed at the man.

"Wait, you don't need to come any closer," he told him, holding out his hand, as if his body was forcing him to make the right decision.

"I called you here because I'm ending, this, whatever it may be," he continued. "I don't know whether you were already planning to do that, but I need to be the one to say it."

Sephiroth ignored his order, and continued to approach him.

"Please," the blonde begged, his voice beginning to break. "The reality of our situation hit me today, which it should have done before. Last night should not have happened."

The General looked offended at that. "Do not say that," he begged back, coming close enough to the blonde that he could smell his aftershave, the same he had wore the previous night.

"You stood there and denied it," Cloud reminded him, bowing his head to the floor. "I was fooled in thinking that this could ever be something more than a mistake."

Sephiroth placed his fingers below the blonde's chin, tilting it upwards and forcing the man to face him. "Is that how you really feel?" he asked him, terrified of what the answer may be.

Unbeknown to him, the blonde's hand rested in his pocket, where his phone had been strategically placed prior to the man's arrival. Knowing he might break, knowing he might slip, Zack had demanded him to send a warning text if things became a struggle. Regardless, Zack wanted to be informed as soon as Cloud had ended things, so that he could return to his apartment and ensure that Sephiroth left quietly. All the blonde had to do was press his finger against the middle button and send that text, and at this rate, he'd be needing to do so.

"You know how I feel," Cloud responded, his voice no more than a whisper.

Sephiroth ignored the reason within him. "And you know how I feel."

"But today, you completely lied about me!"

"Today, I was put on the spot," Sephiroth reminded him, recalling how Rufus had completely thrown him into the deep end. "There was nothing else I could do."

The blonde wanted to scream at him, to tell him that he was worth more than his reputation. But he knew the danger, he knew what would happen to Sephiroth. The names that the men had called him, 'fairy,' made Cloud realise how unaccepting the company was. It meant that he couldn't hate Sephiroth for it, but at the same time, he couldn't allow himself to be a dirty secret.

It was never, ever, going to happen.

"We need to end this," he repeated, swivelling his eyes so that he couldn't see the reaction on the man's face.

There were many responses Cloud had been expecting; perhaps a desperate plea to change his mind, or a threat to keep their relationship going, but the words that in fact escaped Sephiroth's mouth were the last words he had ever been expecting.

"I love you."

The blonde didn't recognise what he'd been told at first, shaking his head childishly as he tried to stop himself from listening to any reason or bargaining.

But, he couldn't stop himself from facing what had been said.

"... What?"

Cloud felt his body began to shake, as he stared at Sephiroth with widened eyes, stunned at what had just been said. All of a sudden, he felt anger, disbelief and hurt; was he really pulling that stunt to try and keep him. Did the man really care that little as to use that against him?

"Don't be ridiculous," the blonde spat, pulling away from the man's grip, ready to push the button on his phone and have Zack spring to his much needed rescue.

Sephiroth was too quick however, hurling himself into the blonde as the two of them fell backwards and collided into the carpet. The blonde felt a pain pierce through his back as it smashed against the floor and the weight of the General plummeted into him.

There was nowhere to run.

The General slammed both arms at Cloud's sides, preventing him from struggling. The blonde stared up at him, unable to believe what was happening; was he forcing himself on him?

"Get off!" the blonde screamed.

Sephiroth continued to hold him down, anger washing across his face initially, to be replaced with a softness that was still so unfamiliar to the blonde.

"I love you," he repeated, with the same serious tone, angering the blonde.

Cloud shook his head once more. "Stop it."

"I love you," Sephiroth said again, not faltering once, truly meaning the words that left his lips.

The blonde frowned at him, overwhelmed. "Why are you telling me this."

"Because despite the difficulty of this situation, I can't deny it," Sephiroth admitted, a vulnerability sweeping across him as he poured himself to the blonde. "I can't deny it, but I can't tell the world this information until I am ready. However, I can't leave you alone whilst I'm preparing myself."

Cloud felt himself weaken. "But waiting until you're ready isn't good enough…"

"It is," Sephiroth reassured him, bending down to kiss him as he did so.

Despite the fact he had lied about the blonde, and felt fear like never before fearing that the truth would be exposed to the company, in that moment, Sephiroth felt the same emotion he had done the previous night. It was overpowering and indestructible; no matter how hard he tried convincing himself that he was making a mistake, the bitter truth refused to leave him be. That Sephiroth had never felt this way before, and he didn't want the feeling to disappear, not yet.

The man had meant what he said.

And as Sephiroth leant down to embrace the blonde a second time, Cloud felt the hand that had subtly crept into his pocket slip, as he forgot all sense and allowed himself to be taken.

Those three words repeated in his head throughout, as Sephiroth kissed him, as Sephiroth peeled off his clothes, as Sephiroth trailed down his body and touched him in delicate places, as Sephiroth pushed into him and made his eyes roll back into his head. Cloud didn't know whether the man was lying, or simply overwhelmed by emotion, or for some insane reason actually meant it. But regardless of the reason, Cloud wrapped his arms around the man's back and dug his fingernails in as he whispered the words back to him, those three words, as Sephiroth crashed inside of him and sent euphoria shooting through him.

There would be no Zack coming to his rescue.

The blonde just had to hope that the man didn't catch the two shameless men making love on his living room carpet.

I actually didn't intend for this chapter to end so romantically, I just suddenly found myself writing it...

I want this to be hard, because your first 'love' is, and a secret relationship is even harder. So now that Sephiroth has said those three words, and Cloud has been weak enough to allow it to continue, I wonder how things will progress, and eventually break?

I know I am awful at updating, but I went through a pretty nasty break-up recently, and my style of writing became WAY too dark for this!

Please review? :) xox