writers notes; nowadays... its seems that everywhere i look, i can come up with a gokuharu fanfic... WHY? BUNNYZ MUST DIE! *gets stabbed by rukia* inspired by eating cake... TYL

i do not own khr, but i do own a belly full of cake...

What did you just call me?

Gokudera had no idea how he had ended up in this situation...

Ok, maybe he did...

But it wasn't his fault his wife was being so super sensitive these past few weeks!

-flash back-

Haru, as usual, was eating a cake which she had bought from the bakery. She was eating a whole chocolate cake. Topped off with chocolate icing and chocolate sprinkles.

Her husband just watched her in amazement. Thats the fith cake this week...

This abnormal indulgance of cake was due to Haru's craving during pregnancy. Some times during the middle of the night, she would wake up her husband and tell him to bring her a midnight snack, which was mainly cake. Of course, Gokudera would just say no and try to go back to sleep, but it was futile as Haru would usually respond with her pleading puppy dog eyes, Gokudera could never resist her puppy dog eyes.

That routine was annoying, and he was really sick of cake. Gokudera was just stunned at how she could process it all. But his slip of the mind caused him to have a slip of the tongue.

"If you keep this up, you're gonna get even fatter."

Silence.

This statement caused Haru to drop her fork, it landed on the marble kitchen bench with a CLING. She stared at her husband with very, very wide eyes. A dark atmosphere was steadily growing around her...

"Did you... just call me fat?" she asked, waiting for his reply. And it better be good.

Realising what just came out of his mouth, he covered it with his bare hand, trying so desperately to take back what he just said.

With no reply coming from the Italian, Haru's eyes grew wider.

"Speak up you asshole, you did call me fat, didn't you?" she seemed to loom over her husbands ever shrinking form.

Trying to find a good reply, Gokudera simply replied as he usually would, so she would know that he was not scared of his wife.

"Huh? Stupid woman! I said nothing!" this did not calm her down.

"Liar! You said I'll get even fatter, which is suggesting that I'm already fat!" she was now up in his face.

"I did not! I was... complimenting your metabolism! Yeah! And I was just saying how great it is that you're NOT fat!" he tried-

"BULLSHIT!" she punched his jaw.

-and he failed.

Just as they were getting ready for bed, Haru took this chance to look at herself in the mirror. She put her hands over her stomach to feel the baby, and to feel her 'fat'.

It was a hot summer's night, so Gokudera was shirtless and only wore boxers as pjs. He noticed his wife staring at herself in the mirror. She wore her silky white night gown which he had bought for her as a gift. But she also wore a sad frown. He didn't like that face, it made him feel guilty about what he had said earlier. So he walked towards her and encircled his strong arms around her belly so she could see it no more.

"Hayato..." she asked in a sad voice.

"Hmmm?" he replied.

"Do you... really think I'm fat?" Of all the questions in the world to ask, she just had to ask, 'that' question. That evil, evil question which is every guys' nightmare to answer. No matter what your answer was, it was always going to be the wrong answer. If you say 'no', she'll just say 'you're lying', if you say 'I like the way you look just fine', she'll say 'so I am fat', and if you say 'yes' you're a dead man.

Being a genious, Gokudera replied-

"It doesn't really matter, you're gonna get bigger anyway." it was the truth.

"Wha...?" and the truth hurts-

"You're sleeping on the couch tonight." -like a bitch.

"What? I answered your stupid question as honestly and as nicely as possible. Stupid woman! And you're still angry with me?" he let go of her waist to be positioned directly infront of her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, it's out of your concern... apparently I'm too fat, and only I can fit on the bed!" her face became red from all the blood going to her head.

"Woman! It's a kingsize bed!" he retorted.

"So now you're calling me king size now?" their faces where inches apart.

"Stop it! Stop twisting my words around bitch!"

"Hey! Why not add to that and call me fat bitch, huh Hayato?" to this, he did not reply.

"What? To chicken to make a come back? You stupi-" she was cut off from finishing her sentence, as her lips were soon sealed with his.

Gokudera gave her a forceful kiss. Not to shut her up, but because, it really turned him on when ever they fought like that. It was the spur of the moment, he thought. It made him excited when she got angry at him. He liked the way her face got red from all the steam, he liked it when her cute little nose would wrinkle from her frowning, and he really liked it when she yelled his name in anger. It made him really excited.

"H-Hayato w-what are you-?" she tried to mumble through his kisses.

"Just shut up and kiss me." he was so forceful that he was making her stagger backwards. It was not long before they got to the bed.

He layed her back down gently with his hand, just looking at her blushing face made him smile. He was on top, he made light butterfly kisses down her neck until she rolled him over and she was the one looking down on him. She cupped his face and rubbed her thumb over his slightly red cheek. He slid his hand from her back, down to her bottom, and playfully squeezed. She giggled in response.

"I just noticed you have a big ass." That was the biggest cock block, in the history of cock blocks. Ever.

Why was he such a dense man? No one knew.

"Sleep. on. the. mother. fucking. couch."

That was a few weeks ago. And she was still mad at him.

Who wouldn't be mad? He had called her fat, in many different ways, and he was honest about it. That's what hurt the most. Haru really did care about her appearance, knowing her stomach was going to grow was ok, but if you put it in that kind of context, then it just crushes a womans spirit. So she thought, why not crush his spirit?

So one day, when she was almost near 9 months, she said something to her husband while lying in the hospital bed. Something that was sure to crush his very soul...

-end of flash back-

Gokudera was stunned. He was shocked. He wanted to rip out his hair. But he made no move as the trauma slowly consumed him. His eyes wide, as a long train of thought passed through his head. Too bad it was then that Haru was suddenly in labour. It was too early, you never seem to expect these kinds of things. Her water broke as she yelled for a doctor.

Suddenly back to reality- Gokudera paniced and helped his wife through labour.

-a few hours later-

His dream and nightmare clashed into a wonderful, yet devastating reality...

In his arms, he held his new born baby boy-

-named Yamamoto.

The end

Thats revenge for calling me fat...

He had to pay for it, for the rest of his life...

writers notes; I cannot not lie, i had alot of fun writing this... (except i blushed during the smut)

yesh yesh people- i noe yamamoto is the last name, but i find it funnier if i named the baby yamamoto in stead of takeshi XD

did u like it?

blame the cake

L: THE CAKE IS NOT A LIE!

ahhhhh... i seriously have no idea where i get all of this.

i was inspired by food and the motivation of reviewers to keep writing one shots~

thnx every1!

i really enjoy writing tyl fics- maybe i'll write some more if i have anymore ideas.

guess wat? i have another one shot in mind!

THE BUNNIES WONT STOP MULTIPLYING! DX

come on people! write more gokuharu fics! i dont want 2 be the only one writing them! (im worried ur gonna get sick of me...)

so in then end gokudera called haru fat, so haru called their child yamamoto...

oliviaotakusama101 luvs u all from the bottom of my heart