hey guys :)

so, this is my first supernatural fic, though I've been into the show for a while now. if anyone reads any of my other fics for different fandoms, i am so sorry for not updating :( I've been on vacation and I only just managed to steal my sisters laptop. Yes, Trina, I did.

anyway, I'm imagining that angel babies start out like human-baby small, and then grow up until they are 'approximately the size of your Chrysler Building' and even more so for archangels, so yeah...

If anything I put in here is blatantly incorrect, I apologize, I'm not exactly an expert on these things...

I don't own Supernatural or any of the characters featured...

Enjoy(:

1. Looking

Like most fledgelings, Castiel adored the archangels to the point that he could hardly even speak in the presence of one. Gabriel had the least intimidating stature (both a blessing and a curse to him) but even he still sent the younglings running giddily back to hide behind their caretakers. He still stood taller than any of them ever would, he still had six shining, magnificent wings, and he still was bright enough to hurt the eyes even of the other angels, were they not accustomed to it.

Gabriel had to suppress a chuckle as the tiny (because he was quite small; he'd nearly fit into the palm of Lucifer's hand, if not Gabriel's) fledgeling's blue eyes got even larger, and he tried to scramble back, only to trip over his own feet and fall onto his back, sending up a plume of cloud matter. As he clumsily got to his feet, cheeks flushing red he reached back to dust some of the stuff off of his dark grey wings. Although he wasn't looking particularly closely, Gabriel could see they were interspersed with black and navy blue. He still had some pre-flight down, telling the archangel that even if he wasn't far too small to do more than watch his elder brothers and sisters learn to fly, he was still too young.

"Castiel, right?", he asked the fledgeling.

Castiel nodded.

"What are you doing out here? You're too young to start flying yet, kiddo."

He looked put out, and in his annoyance, he seemed to forget his mortification. "I know," he pouted, "but I fell off the cliffs while I was looking at the earth, and Anael says I can't move until she comes and gets me. And then she says she's taking me to talk to Michael about how dangerous it was," he gulped, eyes wide and fearful, and he didn't seem to notice that he'd brutally mispronounced 'dangerous'.

"Harsh," he sympathized, "Just between you and me, Michael is nowhere near as bad as he pretends to be."

Castiel sat on the edge, feet dangling into the open air. "Easy for you to say," he replied desolately.

After only a moment's hesitation, he leaned closer to Castiel conspiratorially. "Look, Anael isn't watching. Wanna go see the earth all up close and personal?"

"But I'll get in trouble..."

Gabriel waved a hand. "Not if you're with me, kid."

He grinned sheepishly. "I did kinda wanna see it...," he admitted.

"Well, then, Cas. What are we waiting for?" He thought about it for a moment, and then asked, "It's okay if I call you Cas?"

The fledgeling nodded shyly.

"I needed a good stretch anyway." He picked up the fledgeling and swooped him up onto his shoulders. "Hold on tight, kid."

Thanks to Gabriel, Castiel turned out to be one of the best flyers the heavenly army had ever seen.

2. Flying

Several centuries later, Castiel reached his first millennium, and it was time for the young angel to learn to fly.

There was just a slight problem.

Castiel was the youngest of the angels. He was a good few millennia behind the angels closest to his age, such as Balthazar and Uriel, and they already knew how to fly, and were proceeding into their new lessons eagerly. Castiel was very frequently alone, but somehow, he was expected to learn to fly.

Gabriel, on the other hand, rarely found that it was quiet enough to even think.

Between Michael and Lucifer's arguing, Raphael's faked nonchalance, and their father's disappearance, the lonely fledgeling that longed to fly wasn't something that crossed his mind frequently.

But when he saw the young angel in question, looking down from the clouds with a troubled expression on his face, he figured he could make an exception.

"Hey, squirt."

Castiel looked up sullenly. "Hi, Gabriel," he replied tonelessly.

The archangel studied him for a moment, concern edging at him. Castiel may be old enough to start flying, but he was still far too young to be brooding as he was. He wondered if he was the first to stop and check up on him. It hardly seemed possible, but somehow, he wouldn't be surprised.

"Something wrong?"

Castiel gave a noncommittal "mmm" and studied the ground, so far below them.

"Come on, what's up?" Gabriel nudged his shoulder as he took a seat beside his younger brother.

The young angel murmured something inaudibly, and Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

"You're gonna have to speak up, kiddo."

Castiel fidgeted, looking almost embarrassed, wings shifting and hands twisting in his lap. "No one will teach me how to fly," he forced out, eyes downcast.

Gabriel's heart pretty much melted right then and there. After quieting a quick burst of anger at Castiel's so-called caretakers, he replied, "What? There has to be someone... What about Anael, what's she doing? Or one of the other young ones, what about Balthazar? I thought you two were friends."

He shook his head miserably. "Everyone who would be is helping with teaching, and Balthy is in classes and no one will pay any attention to me."

"Okay, how 'bout this..." Gabriel hesitated. Raphael would be expecting him back... He glanced down at Castiel. A trembling mixture of distress and hope shone in his eyes, and Gabriel knew he'd never be able to turn the little tyke away. "I've got some spare time," he told him, even though he probably didn't, "I can show you the ropes."

Castiel's face lit up faster than you could say 'Quidditch'. "Really?", he exclaimed.

Gabriel grinned. "Really. Come on, get up, now or never. Don't waste the day and all that crap."

Smiling giddily, he jumped to his feet, now looking over the edge with eager eyes. He peered up at his older brother.

"Now what?"

Gabriel stood. "You let out these little suckers," he said, gently touching one of Castiel's wings, "and you jump."

"What if I fall?"

"I won't let you fall, kid."

Castiel nodded, trusting him to his word without a second though.

Gabriel grinned.

"Now, jump!"

3. Yelling

Millennia passed. Gabriel heard and saw little of Castiel in that time. The fighting between the eldest two archangels was worsening, and more often than not, Gabriel was caught in the middle. It was rapidly becoming difficult to take.

One of the rare peaceful periods was coming to and end ("You shouldn't speak so of Father's creations, Lucifer"), and Gabriel figured a stroll around the general campus would clear his head.

He passed by the training area, inhabited by a few of the eldest younglings sparring. The next generation down was learning about weaponry. A ways down, and a little to the east he came across a large, flat area on the cliffs, where Cael stood at the edge, talking to a group of young angels. All of them were in the awkward stage where your wings are nearly full grown, but the rest of your body has a ways to go. They ranged from around 10 to 15 millennia, and Gabriel could see Castiel quite clearly.

Not only was he a little smaller than the rest of his classmates, his unusually dark wings stood out from those around him, especially from Balthazar's, seated next to him, honey-brown wings.

Gabriel smiled slightly. So the kid was finally starting to fit in.

The voices were a bit to quiet for him to hear without putting any effort in, but he most certainly heard Cael's yell.

"CASTIEL!"

He figured he could just forget about the whole 'fitting in' thing.

"Why must you always pose these insolent questions? Angels do not question, you incompetent child, they listen, they learn, they know. You. Do. Not. Doubt. Me."

Balthazar leaned forward in his seat, and Gabriel just managed to catch his protest.

"C'mon, just cut the kid some sla-"

Cael shushed him. "Castiel, get out of my sight."

Castiel sat up a little straighter. "But-"

"No buts. You may return when you know your place."

"But, Cae-"

"Silence! Leave. Now."

Wings drooping dejectedly, Castiel propelled himself into the air, perhaps intentionally disrupting the class a bit more than necessary, landed neatly a few feet behind the last row, and continued on on foot.

"Isn't that a little harsh?"

"Balthazar, would you like to join him?"

Balthazar backed down, scowling.

Castiel tilted his head towards the ground, holding back angry tears that would remain unshed, angels don't cry.

He was so absorbed in this, in fact, that he ran right smack into Gabriel as he turned the first corner.

He didn't bother to check who it was, just muttered an apology and kept on going.

"Castiel?"

He glanced behind him. "Yes...?" He turned all the way around, looking a little confused. "Oh...hello, Gabriel."

Technically the lower-classed angels, such as himself, just a regular solder-to-be, were supposed to address archangels as 'sir' until told to do otherwise. But this was Gabriel. It just didn't seem necessary.

Gabriel wondered if he should mention what he'd just seen, but he decided to play dumb, at least for the moment.

"Shouldn't you be in class?"

Castiel rubbed at the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Um...not...technically..." He'd been told to leave, so really, he wasn't supposed to be there. At least, that's how he saw it. "Are you going to make me go back?", he asked apprehensively.

Gabriel shrugged. He knew it was what his older brothers would probably do, but that was starting to mean less and less to him. "Not if you don't want to." He gave the angel a knowing look. "So, I guess Cael was yelling at a different Castiel...?"

He blushed. "No...no, that was me..." He cleared his throat. "You...heard that?"

Gabriel snorted. "I think the entirety of heaven heard that, kid."

His cheeks grew steadily pinker. "I'm...sorry?"

Gabriel gave him an odd look. "What for?"

Castiel looked so confused that Gabriel almost laughed, but then the angel sighed. "I don't know. The other angels usually only talk to me when I did something wrong."

The archangel frowned. "Well, I'm talking to you, and you sure as hell didn't do anything wrong."

Castiel scoffed. "Tell that to Cael."

"Well, he's the only one that thinks that. And just between you and me, Cael's a giant dick."

The angel laughed softly. "That's hardly 'just between you and me'."

Gabriel grinned. "Knew there was a sense of humor in there somewhere." He leaned against the wall, folding in his wings. "So, now that you're out of class, what're you gonna do?"

He considered the question. "I have no idea." He glanced around. "What are you doing out here?"

Gabriel tried and failed to smile. "Needed to get some air."

Castiel took a moment to understand the expression; angels don't need air. But then he nodded. "Yes, the fighting was particularly bad today."

Gabriel's brows shot up. "And how would you know that?"

"Gabriel, I think the entirety of heaven knows that," he replied, taking Gabriel's earlier statement.

"I guess Mike and Luci are a little...loud sometimes."

"Little?", Castiel replied questioningly. Then he shrugged. "I'm going to the cliffs. Are you coming, or would you like to go listen to Michael and Lucifer being a 'little' loud?"

Not waiting for a reply, Castiel unfurled his wings and jumped into flight with a grace that was rare even among angels.

Grinning in spite of himself, Gabriel followed.

The lonely fledgeling that longed to fly was growing up.

4. Fighting

Balthazar pressed the blade back into his hand, shaking him lightly. "Cas?" No response. "Cas! Castiel!" The younger angel remained motionless. A swear tumbling from his lips, Balthazar gave Castiel's grace a harsh jolt with his own.

Castiel shot into an upright position, eyes wide and alarmed. "What the- Balthazar! Don't do that!"

"Yeah, sure. Now get the hell up, we're moving. Now."

Castiel obliged. He didn't really want to move; he was drained and sluggish, and something warm and sticky was spreading all over his side and he honestly felt like sleeping, but he hadn't done that since he was a fledgeling. But he was a soldier, and Balthazar was more experienced and he'd received an order and he would follow it.

Balthazar, however, was dragging his injured brother with clenched teeth and angry eyes. Michael and Raphael could to to hell; Castiel was too young to be on an active battlefield.

xXx

Gabriel had left the heavens a few millennia ago, and he hadn't looked back since.

But this was different.

The day had finally come. They'd all known it was going to happen. No one admitted that, though. They wouldn't talk about it, they pretended to ignore it, because that was the way their family worked and maybe that was why Gabriel had left it.

Lucifer's soldiers rained down on heaven, sparking a war that made WWII look like a playground brawl.

And Gabriel didn't like it. But he just had to see it.

He needed to know if that was still the Lucifer he'd known, the Lucifer who used to make him laugh away his tears back when it was just he four of them, the Lucifer who had helped raise him, who had taught him everything he knew.

He didn't know whether to laugh or to cry when he found that that Lucifer was gone.

Feeling that he'd seen all that he felt he needed to, he figured he'd swing by the Garden, where he knew they'd leave the angels too young to fight. They didn't need to know he was there. He just wanted to see Castiel, just to see if he turned out alright.

But the Garden was empty. Not even Joshua was there.

Gabriel frowned. He knew Michael. He knew that he would be stressed, he'd be angry, and with only Raphael having stood by him, he'd be lost, anguished, and above all, lonely.

And that was more than enough to make him desperate.

After a moment's thought, he took flight, stopping up on a high tree from which he can see the fighting. He felt a little bit too much like a bird at that point, but dignity could go fuck itself.

It doesn't take him too long to find him.

Honestly, he just wanted to ascertain that Castiel was alive. Then he'd be on his merry way. But he'd just looked so pale...

He landed inconspicuously behind the pair, folding in his wings and trying to peek around to get a better look at the injured angel. Balthazar was taking most of his weight, and he had one wing, spattered with dirt and blood, wrapped around Castiel, though whether it's there to support him, to keep him warm, or to assure one or both of them that there's someone else there, that they aren't alone in this, is unclear.

And just for a moment, Castiel glanced around. He wasn't sure why, but he looked. Gabriel gave him a sad smile, and he shrugged. Castiel opened his mouth to say something. Perhaps it was Gabriel's name.

But then he disappeared in a flash of gleaming golden wings, and Castiel turned back around.

Pain makes you see all kinds of crazy things.

5. Dying

"...so, we grabbed the Kali bitch and got outta there."

Sam nodded his agreement. "She just kinda left about halfway here."

Castiel's brow wrinkled. "But then...what about Gabriel?"

Sam and Dean exchanged a look.

"He...stayed behind."

The angel simply looked at them. "So...you do not know?"

"Cas, we...we heard him scream. And he left us...there's a video, if you want to..."

For a moment, just a moment, Dean would've sworn he saw Castiel's emotionless mask waver. His eyes widened, his lips parted, brows rose, and then it was gone, and he was left looking even graver than usual.

"Where is his body?" His tone was clipped.

"Cas..."

"He may have wronged you, but he was a brother, and I will leave neither him nor his vessel to rot. It is disrespectful. Do you have the address, or must I find it myself?"

It took a few minutes of searching his wallet, but Dean eventually found a receipt from the place, with the name and address of the hotel written in evenly printed script across the top.

"Thank you. Call if you require me."

And then he was gone.

Dean glanced at Sam. "Think they knew each other or something? He seemed kind of..."

"Upset?"

He shrugged. "He's gotta hell of a poker face, but yeah."

Sam sat on his bed. "Dunno. Maybe they were friends."

Castiel found the vessel's body right where Lucifer had left it, sprawled out on the floor of the dining room, his primary wings burned into the floor behind him.

In a rare show of emotion, Castiel bit down on his lower lip, fighting to keep his face neutral. But this was the archangel who taught him to fly, and that isn't something that's forgotten easily. He'd always kind of assumed that Gabriel was out there, somewhere, and now that he wasn't out there, he was lying in some random hotel with his own brother's blade in his chest, and that hurt a bit more than Castiel had anticipated.

Gabriel had never been quite like the other angels. He had scoffed at their formalities and their decorum, he never needed it. He didn't hide behind their little facades, he was stronger than that.

Gabriel was one of the angels that Castiel had, for as long as he could remember, truly respected.

And now he was gone.

Castiel sighed. Another soul lost.

And then the body disappeared.

The burnt impression of the wings did as well, and now Castiel was alarmed, backing away from the spot, angel blade in hand. Perhaps Lucifer was coming back for the body, as a trophy?

If that was true, the angel blade would do little to help him, and he was not currently equipped with an archangel's weaponry.

And then a voice sounded from just next to him, on his left.

"Hey, kiddo. Long time no see."

Castiel nearly ran him through.

But then...

"Gabriel?"

"No," he retorted, "It's God."

Castiel gave him a look, but it melted away after hardly a second. "You faked your death." Castiel may not be an archangel, but it took an incompetent to be unable to recognize a certain angel's, or archangel's, grace, if you'd last seen them as recently as Castiel had seen Gabriel. Grace is apt to change over time as the angel in question changes, but Gabriel's hadn't shifted much since the painfully crushing blow it had taken when he left home.

He grinned. "I tend to do that."

"It is an unfortunate habit," Castiel remarked gravely.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "You need to lighten up, little bro."

"This is no time to 'lighten up'. The world is ending."

"Then I'd like to go out laughing," the archangel countered.

"I'd rather not go out at all."

"Bit late for that, kiddo." His eyes softened. "You're falling."

He hesitated. "An...unfortunate complication."

"'Complication'?" Gabriel scoffed. "Father, give me patience. I'd call that a little more than a 'complication'. Do your little mud monkeys even know?"

He shrugged. "I would not want to-"

"To burden them? If they're really your friends, as you seem to be so sure they are, then you could never be a burden, Cas. And you know you can always call me if you need something.

"If I need anything?" His voice had taken on a note of cynicism. "Did you never think I might need something when you were leaving? That Michael might need something? You left us, Gabriel, when we had already lost too much."

"Castiel, I-"

"I have no desire to listen to your insincerities," Castiel nearly spat at him. He turned on his heel and was about to leave when Gabriel grabbed his arm in a vice-like grip, a tendril of his grace shooting up Castiel's arm and effectively grounding him.

"I'm no Dean Winchester, Cas. You aren't walking away that easy."

Castiel could only glare.

"I didn't want to leave any of you. Michael and Lucifer fought over everything. Dad was gone, and Raphael was too busy pretending not to care to listen to me. They wanted me to take sides, but how the hell could I?

"And then Lucifer asked me to leave with him. He said he wasn't going to put up with Michael anymore, and he wanted my help. Only it wasn't Lucifer anymore, it was the evil son of a bitch that he'd turned himself into and when I said no, he got pissed, Cas. He said that he'd tear me apart with the rest of us, and I didn't want to have to see it. I didn't want anyone to die. So I just ran.

"I'm sorry for being a spineless bastard, okay? I shouldn't have done it. I never really did think things through."

There a long moment of silence, and then Castiel finally met his eyes.

"Your misdeeds are not forgiven, but for the moment, they are forgotten," he stated, sounding as usual as though he could have been asking about the weather.

"Lighten up, bro. C'mon, let's go for a drink, just you and me."

Castiel's hesitation was clear in his face, but he nodded. Maybe just this once, just because his older brother was back from the dead, he could 'lighten up', even if he didn't completely understand the expression.