Left Behind

By American Wings

Aching muscles called out for relief, but staring into the fire seemed to dull the pain. Ginny lay on a couch in the common room, one arm draped over her stomach and the other resting motionless at her side, mesmerized by the dancing flames and oblivious to the low hum of activity around her.

"Where's your beloved Potter, Weasel?" Draco taunted as he guarded her, waiting for Snape to come in and execute punishment. "All you have to do is tell us what you know and all of this can stop."

She struggled against the ropes that held her bound and managed with effort to spit at his feet.

"I can hit harder than you can, Malfoy," she jeered, trying to keep her voice even when all she wanted to do was hex him. "Go ahead. Do your worst. I don't think you have it in you."

She watched the sweat dribble down his brow as he paced back and forth in front of her, panting from the effort he was exerting to crack her resolve.

"Would you rather I beat up one of the third years you had spying for information?" he offered. "I'm sure I can get the Headmaster to agree to let you watch."

Ginny smirked. "You'd have a lot of explaining to do if they told their parents. That's an empty threat."

"Watch me …" Draco started, but Snape finally appeared and silenced him.

"That's enough, Malfoy. Thank you for delivering Miss Weasley and Mr. Longbottom to me; such a pity that they were trying to break into my office again," said Snape. "I'm thinking a week's hard labour in the Forest after dinner should be enough punishment this time. Please escort her back to the dormitory. No foul play."

Ginny knew that keeping a low profile was in her best interest, yet she somehow could not sit by passively and watch the darkness take over her school as well. Hogwarts had seemed like the last haven against evil, even when she knew that she was coming back to a school controlled by Lord Voldemort's cronies. It had been easy to maintain the illusion for a while, but the changes had come too quickly.

"You make it too easy for him," Colin observed as he sat down at the end of the couch. "If you wouldn't break school rules, he couldn't take you in for questioning and make you angry."

"He'd still find a way, you know that," Ginny replied without moving. "We have to put up some resistance. Harry, Hermione, and Ron need to know that they aren't alone."

"They have to know that we have little choice but to cooperate. What you and the others are doing is suicide," he protested.

She winced as she eased herself up against the side of the couch to face him while they spoke.

"They can't kill me; then there would be proof of their tyrannical policies here," she pointed out. "All Draco can do is push me around and give me detention if I get caught. There's nothing I can do."

Colin retorted, "Your dad works in the Ministry. Surely he can…"

"No, he can't. He can't do anything. Dad is watched and suspected more than any other employee just because of my idiot ex-boyfriend," Ginny blurted, suppressing a sob that threatened to break through her carefully guarded façade, and lying back down. "I can't talk about this right now, Colin. I'm sorry."

She felt his stare boring into the top of her head, but she refused to look back up at him, focusing instead on the pattern of the couch's soft fabric.

"Can I at least get some ice for your feet?" he asked softly. "You've been out there all evening for the past four days. You'll regret not taking care of yourself when you're home for Easter break next week if you just lie here."

Ginny looked back at the mousy-haired boy, and for a moment saw him as more than just her school mate. Colin was growing up, and so was she. They all had to grow up that year. She nodded in concession and he smiled at her before he got up to leave. The fire commanded her attention again and she sank back into her thoughts.

"We have to figure out if they know where Harry is," Ginny insisted. "Somehow, we have to find a way to distract Snape and the Carrows so Harry can finish what he has to do."

Colin waved the suggestion away. "It's too dangerous. They're already looking for any way to question us, and they're frustrated because we don't know anything. We shouldn't give them reason to punish us more than they already plan to."

"Ginny's right," Neville replied. "Maybe we can't help Harry by being physically present, but we can help him by being a distraction. If Snape is worried about keeping us under control, he'll be less likely to leave the school and assist Voldemort. They're also more likely to send more Death Eaters here, and that's a few less Death Eaters that Harry, Ron, and Hermione have to deal with. I think it's a fantastic idea."

"You're both off your rocker," Colin insisted. "We need to lay low. What about our families?"

"My Gran would be proud of me," Neville said simply.

Colin pointed to Ginny. "Yeah, but the Weasleys won't take kindly to their daughter taking on Voldemort's minions."

"I can take care of myself, Creevey," Ginny replied icily. "I already have six brothers. I don't need you telling me what I can and can't do, too."

"You're right, I can't make you do anything," Colin agreed. "But I won't stand by and let you kill yourself."

Seamus chimed in, "It's actually a very novel idea. Yeah, we'll get a few bumps and scrapes, but if we can at least keep some of the Death Eaters off of Harry's back, it's worth it."

"You're a part of Dumbledore's Army, too," Ginny said pointedly to Colin. "This is exactly what Harry was preparing us to do, to stand up to the Death Eaters when the time came."

Colin's voice broke her thoughts. "Right, here you go, ice in a towel to help keep that swelling down. Can I get you anything else?"

She placed the ice on her feet and shook her head. "No thanks, Nurse Creevey. I think I'm fine."

He laughed. "Well, at least you're in a better mood."

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments before she spoke again.

"I don't know if we can win this. How do we even know if Harry is still alive? Does any of this even matter?"

"Of course it matters," Colin assured her. "You lot have been insisting since you started this months ago that your actions would keep up mayhem at the school and draw Death Eaters off of the search for Harry, and I'd have to say that you've certainly done that."

"But there's been no news. Nothing," Ginny said blankly. "I wish I did know what they want to get out of me, but I have absolutely nothing to tell them, even if I wanted to."

"No news can be good news," he noted. "I'm sure Harry is fine. He'll return before you know it and everything will be back to normal again."

She laughed shortly, wincing as her leg muscles cramped.

"Right, back to normal. I doubt anything will be back – Neville!"

Colin whipped around and witnessed the older boy hobble toward them, waving away their concern.

"Nothing to worry about, I just had a bit of a run-in with the Death Eater posse on my way back from the Forest," he said lightly. "Malfoy is a bit perturbed. Crabbe and Goyle wanted to use me for Cruciatus practise again, but they just decided to take a few swings at me instead."

Colin gestured for Ginny to pass him the ice and handed it to Neville for the deepening swelling around his right eye. "I have to admit that you're getting your point across. I don't think anyone in the school could deny what is happening to your lot involved in the insurrection efforts."

"Our lot? You're helping out, too, Colin," Neville noted, leaning against the arm of a nearby chair. "You're still a part of recruiting for and supporting Dumbledore's Army, especially when we get hurt, even if you aren't participating in the mayhem."

"I do what I can. I'm going to get some rest, and you both should do the same. Please don't make any runs tonight," Colin pleaded. They both nodded their ascent to his request and he left.

The common room was mostly deserted now. Neville sat on the couch where Colin had been and surveyed Ginny.

"I still can't believe they're having you do the same labour as me, and letting Malfoy stand watch over you while you do it," he said softly. "That's just not right. He's twice your size."

"And I'm twice as tough. I can deal with it," Ginny insisted.

"We should have been more careful. I can't imagine what Harry is going to do to Seamus and me when he finds out that we let you put yourself in this kind of danger."

"And how do you expect him to find out?" Ginny asked bitterly. "It's not like we're in close contact, and I really hope that he hasn't been picked up by a pack of Snatchers. We don't even know if he's still alive."

"Don't say that."

She shook her head. "It's the truth. We have to face it eventually. I don't know if I can keep doing this."

"It's almost Easter, yeah? You're going home next week," Neville encouraged her.

"What if I get taken on the train, like Luna?" Ginny asked. "I wish we knew what they've done with her."

"They took Luna to discourage her father," he pointed out. "Your family is too active for that to work twice. I think they'll allow you to get home without any problems."

"I just hate this, I hate being all alone," Ginny revealed. "He left us, I mean, he really left us. He's gone, just like that, without a goodbye, without letting us know anything about where he's gone or what he's done. He just vanished."

"Well, if you knew where he was, then the Death Eaters would have been able to just slip you some Veritaserum and hear it all," Neville replied. "Isn't it a blessing that you're able to keep Harry safe this way?"

"I suppose. Am I wrong to feel this sullen?" Ginny wondered.

Neville shook his head. "It's natural to feel depressed, this is far from easy, but you have to remember that Harry does care for you, and so do the rest of us. He only broke things off to keep you safe. The D.A. is about caring for one another and standing up to You-Know-Who. We're not going to allow you be hurt or left alone completely."

She knew he was right, but she also felt ashamed for her attitude. She knew that her actions were worth it, knew that Harry loved her, knew that he was doing whatever he could to keep her safe, but the cloud of anger, loneliness, and helplessness surrounded her and pressed in on her consciousness, made even worse by the Dementors hovering over the castle. How could she continue to survive this way? How was she supposed to get a glimmer of hope?

"I keep imagining the worst, and I know that is wrong," Ginny admitted. "Do you think we made a mistake by trying to restart the D.A. this year, though? What if … what if Luna has been killed?"

Her voice broke on the last word and Neville opened his arms. She took the invitation and leaned against him as she cried.

"We all knew the risks when we signed up for this," Neville stated. "Like our parents, like our friends, and like Ron, Hermione, and Harry. I love both of you like the sisters I was never able to have, and I will continue to for the rest of my life, no matter what happens. But, Ginny, which is better: to risk your life for what you believe in, or to stand aside and keep yourself and those you love safe regardless of the evil around you?"

She sat up and looked him in the eye as she said, "To stand up for what you believe in."

"Then you have your answer."

They were silent for a long while, until the fire completely died down to embers and Ginny's face had dried from her tears.

"I know you feel alone, but you're not," Neville continued. "This is bigger than you and Harry, or Harry and You-Know-Who, or the Carrows and us. If you keep the end in mind, it's not so bad. This won't last forever."

The depressive feelings eased slightly, though Ginny still felt somewhat helpless. Yet, she realised that it was all right to feel the way she was feeling even when she knew the truth about the situation. Fighting the feelings and always keeping a bright spirit would not keep her from reality, and there was nothing wrong with feeling hopeless, as long as she remembered the root for her hope so that she could ease herself out of the pit once she allowed herself to feel, to lament, to wish for something more and something right. For Ginny, that was the people she loved, the cause of a redeemed world free from tyranny.

Harry was fighting for that world, and so was she, in her own small way. They each had a part to play in the larger mystery, and right now those parts were being played away from one another. She could support him by causing mayhem, but she could also support him by remembering why he was fighting.

She wasn't left behind because he didn't want to be with her. She was left behind to do work of her own.

She was left behind to hold on to hope and to fight.

Author's Note: Thanks to Arnel, Utterly Absurd, and Cynus for their thoughts and support of my work. This story came to me as I was contemplating what it's like to be called to a season of life apart from those we love, and what it must have been like for Ginny to endure the circumstances of Hogwarts under the reign of the Carrows. I hope that it might bring encouragement to those enduring a trial of their own.