Once upon a time, there was a girl named Sapphire. For some reason completely beyond her imagination, she was beloved by all she met, especially her grandmother. Said grandmother didn't know how to show her somewhat creepy love to the girl, so she made a red cloak for the girl, giving it to Sapphire's mother to give to her. Sapphire's mother then forced the girl to wear it daily; causing Sapphire herself to be known as "Red Riding Hood". Of course, Sapphire would probably punch whoever called her that.

One day, her mother gave a basket to Sapphire, telling her to go into the woods and give it to her grandmother. The mother had warned Sapphire not to look in the basket, and not to speak to any strangers she might find in the woods, because they would probably be pedophiles who wanted to rape her or some guy who just wanted to get into her pants and wouldn't even call and wouldn't pay child support when she got pregnant or-

Sapphire interrupted her mother's rant, saying she'd be fine. She drew up the hood of her ruby red cloak, and walked into the woods.

At the same time, a boy called Ruby was sitting alone near the forest path. He sat there alone, humming softly. He dearly wished for someone to come and talk to him. But anyone who crossed his path had simply walked away. He wasn't that strange, he thought…

He glanced up as he heard footsteps a ways down the path. There, he saw a lovely looking young girl with a black and white dress and a red cloak. As she came closer, she took down her hood, revealing bright blue eyes. Ruby noticed a basket in her hands and stood as she saw her look at him. "Hello, miss!" he called.

Much to his surprise, the girl stopped walking and stared at him. After a moment, he heard her response of "…My mom told me not to talk to strangers!"

"Am I really that strange?" Ruby asked with a pout. He laughed after a moment. "I suppose you're the Red Riding Hood from those stories I've heard?"

"My name's Sapphire," she growled, grip on the basket tightening. "If we're going off of that story, though, wouldn't that make you the Big Bad Wolf?"

"I assume so," Ruby responded. "Though, I'm not that big, and I don't think I'm that bad!" He looked up and down Sapphire. "Who made that cloak of yours?"

"Why do you care?" Sapphire replied, raising an eyebrow.

"I like designing clothes!" Ruby chirped. "And I'd love to know what they used for that~"

"…My grandmother," Sapphire said after a moment, sighing. "She's the only reason I'm out here. I need to deliver crap to her."

Ruby blinked. "I see… Where would your grandmother happen to live?"

"That way," Sapphire said simply, nodding down the path. "Probably the only house you'll come across."

Ruby blinked and nodded. "All right…"

He scrutinized the girl in the bright red cloak. Sapphire was… strange, to say the least. Maybe her grandmother would be nicer… Maybe she'd give him some of the fabric she used for Sapphire's cloak!

Ruby was brought out of his musings when he noticed Sapphire had walked off. He turned around to see Sapphire farther down the path, picking pecha berries. After a moment, he quickly walked down the path, taking care not to be noticed by the female.

Ruby knocked on the door of a simple wood cottage he had come across, humming. He was surprised when the door simply swung open, but shrugged it off and walked inside, shutting the door behind him.

"Tiny place," he noted, seeing only an old fashioned stove in a corner, a bed in another corner, and a large nightstand with drawers in it.

Nobody was in the house except for a Mightyena curled up on the rug next to the bed. Ruby tiptoed around the dog Pokémon, blinking as he found a note on the nightstand.

Sapphire-

I'm out playing poker with the ladies from my book club. Leave the basket on the table.

Love you~

Granny

Ruby, while suddenly wanting to know what was in the basket Sapphire carried, simply shrugged and wandered around the house. A little rummaging wouldn't hurt a little, would it?

He looked through the dresser, blinking as he took out a large pair of underwear. "…Granny must not be too thin."

He put the large undergarments back into the dresser and took out a nightdress. He frowned. "Hm… This would look much better if I designed it…"

His eyes widened as he heard a knock on the door. "Yo, Granny! It's Sapph!"

"U-um…" Ruby quickly pulled on the nightdress, turning to the door. He put on a high pitched falsetto, taking the note off of the night stand. "J-just a moment, my dear~"

"Hurry up!" Sapphire called.

Ruby dug in the drawers, finding a nightcap and pulling it onto his head. He leapt into the bed and pulled up the covers. "C-come in, my Red Riding Hood~"

The door swung open a moment later as the brunette with the red hood came in. "Granny, that's not my name!"

The girl stopped when she saw Ruby in the bed with the covers pulled slightly over his face. "…Are you okay, Granny?"

"I-I'm perfectly all right!" Ruby squeaked. "Put the basket on my nightstand, love~"

Sapphire shrugged and put the basket down. "I met this guy on the way here. He was kinda weird. He talked about strangers… And then he stared at me for God knows how long…"

'She's thinking about me,' Ruby thought with a squeak.

Sapphire blinked as she heard her grandmother squeal. She turned to the woman under the covers, raising an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're okay, Granny? You sound weird."

"I'm quite all right, love!" Granny squeaked.

The brunette stepped a bit closer. "Wow, Granny… What a low voice you have…"

"T-the better to be heard with, my dear!"

The girl frowned. "Huh… And what bright eyes you have, Granny."

"The better to see you with, my dear!"

Sapphire raised an eyebrow. "And what teeth you have, Granny. …You didn't have any teeth last time I saw you, Granny.

"…I got dentures?"

The girl rolled her eyes, stepping forwards and wrenching the cap off of the person's head and pulling the blanket down. Her eyes widened when she saw the dark hair and bright red eyes of the boy she'd found in the woods. "You!"

"…Me?" the boy said weakly, sitting up.

"You… What are you doing here?" Sapphire shrieked, grabbing the basket.

"I-I wanted to meet your grandmother!" the boy said, instantly cowering. "I have to say… She has amazing taste in cloaks, but her night clothes leave something to be desired…"

"You cross-dressed as my granny!" Sapphire yelled, crawling onto the bed and proceeding to beat the boy over the head with the basket.

After a few minutes, she simply sat down, letting the boy rub his head. "Who are you, anyways?"

"Ow ow ow…" he whispered. He glanced up. "Oh… I'm Ruby."

"And why did you dress up as my grandma?" Sapphire raised an eyebrow.

"…I shouldn't be in here?"

Ruby sighed, taking a piece of paper out from behind him. "You came up here before I could leave… And Miss Granny isn't here. So…"

"You put on a dress," Sapphire deadpanned in conclusion. After a moment or so, she began to laugh. "This is hilarious!"

"…So you're not pissed at me?"

"No, I'm pissed at ya. I'm just amused at what happened."

Ruby sighed. "I'm sorry, okay?"

Sapphire rolled her eyes and hit Ruby with the basket again.

"Ow!" the boy rubbed his head. "What's in that thing? Bricks?"

"…No clue." Sapphire said, looking at the basket. "…My mom said not to look in it…"

"...She didn't say anything about me looking in it," Ruby noted, taking the napkin off of the basket.

Inside of the basket was a book. Ruby raised an eyebrow, taking out the book. "Twilight!? What the heck…?"

"Who the hell says 'heck'?" Sapphire responded, snorting. "God, for a guy I met in the woods you're kind of a priss."

"For a girl who's so pretty, you're kind of a barbarian."

"You think I'm pretty? Aww, I'm touched!"

Ruby rolled his eyes, looking at the back of the book. "…Why would your grandmother want a Twilight book?"

"A what?" Sapphire asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Twilight," Ruby said. "…It's this book about vampires by this lady… It's aimed at preteen girls because of this love triangle thing. Kind of annoying. And the fangirls…"

He shuddered at that.

Sapphire blinked and shrugged. "Whatever. Now," she hit Ruby with the empty basket, "get out of here!"

"Ow! Fine!" Ruby said, standing up and rubbing his head. "But I think we'll be seeing more of each other, Red Riding Hood. I know where Granny lives now, so I can help her with her wardrobe~"

Sapphire continued to hit Ruby with the basket. "That's not my name!"

The so called 'Big Bad Wolf' who seriously wasn't that bad then ran from Sapphire's grandmother's house, fleeing from the girl with the cloak.

When Sapphire next visited her grandmother, she wasn't all that shocked to see Ruby there speaking to Granny about nightclothes and bedcaps and many other things that Sapphire didn't understand. She simply sat down and watched the two speak until someone noticed her.

She was immediately hugged by the male once she was noticed and was eventually talked into staying for dinner with her grandmother and Ruby.

However, she was not told that this would involve trying on clothes and again began to beat Ruby over the head with the nearest object (her grandmother's Twilight novel, if any of you care.)

Somehow, in the end, Ruby had brain damage and everyone lived happily ever after.

"The end," Ruby finished, looking at Sapphire.

The duo was sitting on a rug in their secret base, facing each other. A bored Sapphire had talked Ruby into telling her a story to pass the time.

She hummed softly. "Thanks~ …Why'd ya use me as Red?"

"Why not?"

Sapphire shrugged. "I dunno. I just can't see me being Red Ridin' Hood."

Ruby laughed. "Well, I'm the Big Bad Wolf."

He leaned forwards, pinching Sapphire's cheeks. "Besides, you'd make an adorable Red Riding Hood!"

Sapphire pushed Ruby's hand away. "Not adorable."

"Yes adorable," Ruby said with a smirk. He leaned over and kissed Sapphire's nose, grinning as her face turned a red to rival his eyes. "You know, if I took a picture right now and showed it to you when we were old and married, you'd say 'Aww, is that our granddaughter? She's so cute~!'"

Sapphire blinked, raising an eyebrow. "And who said we were getting married, Sissy Boy?"

"Who said you don't want to, Wild Child?"

"Since when do you know what goin' on in my head, Priss?"

"So is that a yes, Barbarian?"

"How about a 'I'll think 'bout it," Bitch?" Sapphire smirked at this. "My bitch, too."

Ruby rolled his eyes. "If you say so."

"Damn straight. Now make me sammich, bitch."

With a roll of his eyes, Ruby stood. He leaned over, though, and quickly kissed Sapphire. "As you wish~"

He scurried off at that.

Sapphire took a minute to comprehend what had happened. After a minute or so, she stood up and ran after Ruby. "Come back here, dammit! I wanna punch you!"

"I love you too, Sapph!"

None of you will ever know how hard this was to write. Sapphire as Red Riding Hood? Damn, I can't believe I pulled it off. It was supposed to be more FranticShippy, though...

But, after a few dressup games, a new playlist with love songs, and a fake marriage proposal, it's done! :D

Now... A few holidays have passed/are passing while I post this.

Happy Belated Canada Day to all of you Canuck readers out there, and happy late birthday to fictional character Matthew Williams! (July 1st) The maple syrup is in the/shot

Happy Early Fourth of July (American Independence Day) to my American fans, and happy early birthday to mister Alfred F. Jones! (July 4th) Don't burn things down with the fireworks, 'cause BABY YOU'RE A/shotagain.

Happy Belated Birthday to Pokemon Special character Ruby! (July 2nd) Yaay, FranticShipping! ...I said happy birthdays to fictional characters. xD

Last but not least, happy birthday to InfiniteSummerRoad! (July 3rd) I hope you liked your present, dude, 'cause now my hands are kinda sore! I'm kidding! ^_^" Happy birthday! *hug*

To everyone else? Happy Tuesday! :D

I might make this a series... It's open to discussion. xD

Now... Disclaimer. I, SAPPHIRE'SDESTINY, DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS, FANDOMS, BOOKS, OR STORIES REFERENCED! I'm serious, I don't even own a copy of Twilight(likeiwantedone) or a red cloak (Idowantoneofthosethough).

Anyone who wants a random place or two to hang out at and who loves Pokemon, please contact me!

And fans of Cabin One, PLEASE VOTE ON THE POLL ON MY PROFILE! I seriously need that ASAP.

Also, does anyone want to make a cover for this? xD

...This is the longest A/N ever. xD

Well, hasta la pasta~

-Sapph