((AN: Probably about time for another one-shot, eh? I actually have a couple more in the works, too, one going back to Plato and Victoria, and the other playing with the dynamic between Bombalurina and the Rum Tum Tugger. x3 But, I've also had the ideas in this one rattling around in my head for a long time, and in the last few days I was caught in a frenzy of finally writing it down. I guess I just wanted to be dramatic, emotional, and sappy (and a good bit of fluffy, 'cause I breathe that stuff), and also let out a bunch of my head-canons in one fell swoop. So be prepared for some surprises, there's some history about to be confessed. XD Probably doesn't need to be said that all these short stories take place within the same head-canon.

That's probably all I have to say about this one... :3 Although I must ask my followers for help in spotting unintentional edits that this document editor seems to make; sometimes I'll have it uploaded with some words missing or others mashed together without spaces, and I have to read carefully after I save changes and before I submit, because it's annoying. xP Please don't hesitate to tell me about mistakes, and about ones I make as well, because grammar rules can at times escape me. x3

And also, let me know what you think! ^.^ Thanks again everyone for reading!))

Secrets We Keep

"...Bomba? Are you here?"

Bombalurina's eyes blinked open slowly, a voice at her den entrance slowly bringing her out of the nap that she'd inadvertently fallen into on that lazy, cloudy evening.

She groaned and yawned, trying to blink her eyes back into focus as she idly pushed away the latest project that she'd fallen asleep over: against her better judgment, Jennyanydots had been teaching her how to crochet, and now the red queen was all but covered in colorful little yarn strings. But, at least the blanket she was making was a few squares done when she'd decided to take a break and lie on it.

Sitting up and stretching, Bombalurina glanced over to the silk shower curtain, which made up the entrance to her little cavern made out of the versatile piles of junk in the yard. She woke up a little further when she saw that it was the Jellicle Guardian himself, with a bit of a worried face, standing politely and waiting for her response.

"Munkustrap?" she blinked and cleared her throat while idly shedding herself of the pieces of yarn that had somehow materialized around her body. "Well, well," she smirked, hardly resisting a slow and languid, rather seductive stretch of her spine while stepping front-forward out of her chair and to the floor. "To what do I owe the...pleasure of your visit, hm?"

He smirked back and shook his head lightly. Nope, but nice try. "I apologize for waking you...I was hoping to ask for your help."

Can't blame a queen, can you? She chuckled and waved her paw dismissively, flicking her tail as she went to lie more comfortably on the plush pillow she'd used for a bed. "Don't apologize; I'm always happy to lend the Guard of the Yard a bit of assistance. It's probably about time I woke up anyway," she added with a hum, glancing out of her makeshift window to see the night having nearly fallen completely.

Munkustrap gave a little sigh, his face falling again as he gathered his words. "Have you spoken to Demeter at all today?"

The red queen nonchalantly groomed her face as she answered. "No, actually...why?" She glanced up, her brow quirked curiously. "Haven't you seen her?"

The silver tabby shook his head slowly, sitting down just inside the curtain, his gaze averted in thought and the tip of his tail flicking in agitation. "She's been acting rather distant the last couple of days, actually...and she even missed her training last night. I try to find her to talk to her, but it's as if she's actively avoiding me...and I've no idea why. It's just like it was when the two of you first came here...barely wanting to talk to anyone, and always hiding. I thought...I thought she knew that she was safe here...and that she could always talk to me, especially since we've become mates." He looked up again to see Bombalurina giving him her full attention, brow furrowed. "But if she talks to anyone, even if it's not me, then it's always you. I want to know what I've done wrong...or how to help."

It was something of a strange thing for the red queen to see...for any Jellicle to see...Munkustrap, the always stoic and strong protector, looking helpless. He'd worked a little harder than he had with any cat to earn Demeter's close friendship...and time and again he always said he was lucky to have earned her heart, as well. He worried about everyone in the tribe...but in no time at all, she'd become the one thing that could leave him almost broken.

The poor thing...I suppose that's what love does to you. She hummed in thought, casting her own gaze away from him to instead let it fall on the half-broken mirror over the table where she'd worked, to see herself with that same worry coming over her eyes...not just for her little adopted sister all of a sudden, but for both of them.

"...She hasn't even spoken to me yet, no," Bombalurina finally confirmed, "But, if I know her, then I would tell you right now that you would have done nothing wrong."

He looked up and blinked. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," the red ticked tabby nodded, giving him a little quirk of a smile. "Do you not think she tells me everything about how she feels about you? She wouldn't be so corny as to say it, but, you are her hero. A knight in shining silver armor. There are times she still doesn't feel worthy of your attention, even though she's been told dozens of times otherwise. No, this isn't something you've done." She scratched her chin. "Rather...this is probably something that's come up on its own. It has happened...she can still be prone to fearful episodes."

Having held the welling in his eyes for much of the explanation, Munkustrap let out the breath he was holding in a hard sigh. "I know. Would that I had the power to completely take those away..."

"Some things even you can't protect her from," she matter-of-factly stated. "Those are things she must deal with. Still...it is rather strange that she hasn't spoken to me yet."

There was a pause of thoughtful quiet, before Bombalurina stood up. "Here's what I think you should do. I know your protective senses are telling you to do everything to help her...ignore it for now. I'll find her, and talk to her for you."

"Bomba," he shook his head, "I couldn't possibly impose..."

"Shush," she interrupted, and her paw covered his mouth. "I said I would help, and I would. Meanwhile...give her that space. Don't look for her...let her come to you. She will in time, that I promise. If I have to give her a little push," she added in a mutter.

His next sigh came out through his nose, and he nodded. Her paw slid off his lip so that he could speak. "Alright...I do trust you."

"I would hope so," she grinned, sliding her paw under his chin. The look she gave him was more warm and concerned than her usual fiery gaze. "In all honesty, tiger, I would never have let you so close to my sister, hadn't I known that you were so very good for her." She then reassuringly bumped his head with hers, and turned him back out of her door. "Now, go, do what you usually do this time of night, check on the others, patrol, whatever. Leave Demeter to me."

"Right, right," he had to give a little chuckle at being shooed out of her den. "Thank you."

"Any time at all," she smiled after him, watching him leave while she started to gather her thoughts.

Munkustrap did indeed return to his duties, with the hope that he would soon have some answers...but of course there would still linger a bit of worry for the queen that he came to love so.

It was quite easy for Bombalurina to know where to find Demeter, usually; she was the one cat that would be privy to all of her hiding spots, including the ones that she built specifically to hide from anyone else. And if the gold queen was avoiding Munkustrap, that must mean that she wouldn't be sleeping in the guard house...she'd be somewhere in her den, or in her private little underground (or under-garbage) tunnels that led there.

The red queen was focused so on her mission to confront her adopted sister, that she didn't even acknowledge the cat-calls that were thrown her way from some of the others; she kept her eyes forward and face neutrally set, which told the passerby that she was probably on a serious errand...and while it left them curious, they left her to it. Even the most aloof of cats had serious days.

With a quick sniff around, she found one of the entrances that she was looking for: an oven that hid a tunnel behind its back panel...this was the one that was last used. Bombalurina made sure that no other cats were seemingly around to see it, before opening the door and disappearing on through, closing it behind her.

Demeter, meanwhile, was somewhat restlessly moving things around in her den, where she'd been for most of her sleeping and waking hours after last dodging anyone's attempts at conversation. Her pillows, which were usually bunched up around the center of her bedding, were now pushed all around the borders of it while she smoothed out the blankets and looked around for the rougher (and cleaner) towels to put on top.

At least this tidying up had given her something to distract her mind from why she was being so evasive...and especially towards Munkustrap. The cold grip of guilt took a hold of her heart upon thinking of his name, and she stopped her pacing and kneading with a sigh. She knew that all of this was worrying him...and she never, ever wanted to see him hurt...but there suddenly was a lot of thinking to do, her mind wheeling between all the 'yes's' and 'no's', and a lot of feeling that wrenching in her chest...which made tears threaten her eyes.

She wouldn't have to think too much on her decisions for long, however, before she suddenly heard the lid of her locked chest being tested, followed by a methodical pattern of scraping on the inside.

Recognizing her secret code, Demeter sighed in a little relief. Bombalurina...of course. I knew she'd come looking...I suppose I must talk to SOMEONE...if I can't talk to HIM...

Carefully dislodging her claws from the fabrics, she padded over to the chest, where inside lay the hidden tunnel entrance to her den...something few others had only ever known about. Easily, she undid the latch and pushed up the lid to reveal a smirking red queen within the niche.

"Congratulations, Demeter, you've found a buried treasure," she said with a little wave and a grin when the lid was pushed open fully.

The golden-tortie cat snorted and turned around again with a shake of her head. "That joke was only funny the first five times, Bomba."

"Hey, a good one never gets old," she pointed out and leaped from the chest, making sure to close and latch it behind her before regarding the rather disheveled surroundings. "Ooh, my...did a whirlwind strike your den?"

"...Of a sort," Demeter confirmed in an almost-absent tone and finished smoothing out her towel. "I was busy all day trying to get it cleaned up...I'm going to have a good use for it soon."

Bombalurina had to chuckle at that, and helped herself to falling on one of the pillows. "Considering how I can smell Munkustrap everywhere...I think you've made the best use of it already, dear."

The younger cat sighed and rolled her eyes, but couldn't help a little grin tugging at her lip. "Well, now it will have another use." She hummed and paused for a moment, before giving her sister a serious look. "If I tell you something...will you promise not to tell anyone else, yet? Especially Munkustrap?"

Bombalurina looked up and frowned a little. "It depends on the secret. You realize I won't withhold anything that would hurt the tribe."

Demeter's grin then widened, and there came a little sparkle to her eyes, something that the older queen recognized as a hidden sort of glee. "It's nothing that would hurt the tribe...it's just something I'd rather not get out until it's good and confirmed." She took a deep breath to quell her heart's frantic racing at her next words. "I think...I might be pregnant."

At that, Bombalurina jerked up and widened her eyes, an expression of complete bewilderment coming over her. "You can't be serious," her grin almost overtook her face, and she looked like an excited kitten. "How certain are you of that?"

Demeter chuckled shyly. "Fairly so. I've been a little sick...and a little too exhausted...and finding myself eating quite a bit. Jenny and Jelly have both looked me over, and that's what they guess...I would be a few weeks along." Her paw ran over her underside and stomach. "I think I already feel a bit of a kitten pudge, at that..."

It was then that the golden tortie was forcefully thrown out of her musing by the sound of a loud squeal from her sister, followed by almost being knocked over by the force of her hug. Demeter was rather stunned as she took in the red queen's joyful, high-pitched laughter...there were few things that could throw Bombalurina's poise off so much, and Demeter knew that this was one of them.

"Oh I can't believe it, my little sister having kittens, oh I'm so very happy for you, and I'm happy for me, I'm going to be an auntie!" she rattled out with another squeal, barely wanting to relinquish her grip on the frozen young queen.

"Bomba, please," Demeter had to cough out a laugh and pat her shoulder, "Let me have some air!"

"Oh, terribly sorry," the older cat giggled and let go, instead placing her paws on Demeter's shoulders and looking at her with a grin that looked like it could never fade. "I'm just so excited...ooh, I should've known this was what you were fussing over...oh, Demeter," her head shook in disbelief, "This is such grand news...oh," she snorted and threw her paws in the air, "But you realize it will be an absolute endeavor for me to keep it secret..."

Demeter chuckled lightly again. "I know...but..." she turned around and moved toward the pillows, grabbing a couple to put back in their places. "I just...don't want a fuss. Especially as ever since I heard the news...some memories have come back. And regrets." She sat down, and the pillows numbly fell from her grip. "And secrets."

Bombalurina observed Demeter, and how she suddenly seemed to sag; instantly, she was at her side again, her arm going around her shoulders. "...Aren't you happy, though? You are having kittens...in a safe place, with a large and supportive tribe, and a tom that you love...and who loves you dearly, and would love them dearly."

Demeter nodded, leaning into her. "I know...I am happy, Bomba. I'm more than happy, I'm...overwhelmingly happy, really...but...I still can't help but remember the first time...and what I had to do...and then the rest of the past just jumps into my head..." her paws went up to her temples, "And the guilt just wrecks me, how I've had to keep it to myself all this time...and now with this..." she caressed her stomach, "...I don't think I can keep it to myself any longer."

The red queen's face fell, taking in the pain showing in Demeter's voice. Now I understand. "...That's why you've been avoiding Munkustrap, isn't it?"

Demeter's ears went back a little, and a little bit of accusation found itself in her tone. "He sent you, didn't he?"

Bombalurina let out a short sigh. "He came to me asking for help, because he couldn't find you to talk to you. You've been worrying him." She let her sister go as she wrenched herself from her embrace to start again on her nesting; undeterred, she continued to admonish. "He's your mate...he has a right to know about his kittens...I won't tell him, but you most definitely must."

"And I will..." Demeter insisted. "But this isn't about the kittens. This is about everything else that I've kept locked away." She paused in taking another pillow, and instead lowered herself down onto the soft, plush fabric. "I never thought I'd fall so deeply in love with another tom as I have Munkustrap...to even have his kittens...and now I'm feeling that before anything else happens...he must know about everything."

There was a quiet moment that passed, where Bombalurina simply lay beside her, as always offering her comfort. "You know that he adores you with everything he has," she softly pointed out. "He would run into Hell to bring you back from it. I've never seen such a fierce love as he has...not just for his tribe, but for you. I can say with confidence that he could never turn his back on you...and it's your prerogative to say what you must...but I think, that if you tell him everything, it will show that you trust the world of him."

"...But will he trust me?"

It was then, Bombalurina felt, that it would be an appropriate time to let something off of her own shoulders; to not only prove a point, but to also solidify that trust can only be made all the deeper from it.

"Demeter...will you let me tell you something that I've kept from you?"

She turned to her adopted sibling with a blink. "You've always shared everything with me, Bomba. What could you have possibly kept secret?"

The red queen paused, and an unreadable, almost sad look came into her eyes, which got Demeter's immediate curiosity. She took a breath. "Do you remember the time that I disappeared for...about a month or so?"

The tortie's brow rose. "How could I ever forget? I was so scared that you'd been lost...Heaviside forbid, killed out on those streets...not to mention how anxious I was around Macavity's more unscrupulous cats without you there...and come to find that you'd been captured by the..."

Then, suddenly, Demeter froze, and Bombalurina could see the wheels turning in her head when her pupils briefly shrank and dilated. She frowned and faced her again. "...Why do you bring this up? Did you actually get caught by the pound?"

The older queen shook her head. "No...that was a lie that I fed to Macavity...I am still quite surprised that he fell for it, in all honesty..."

"You told me that too," Demeter growled, and the fur on her haunches bristled and bunched. "And that you escaped them...but that couldn't have been easily possible. I knew it! What the hell actually happened?"

"First of all," Bombalurina sat up straight, staring Demeter down, unblinking, unflinching. "You will listen to me before you lash out. Because I promise, when I am done, you will understand."

The younger queen glared back...but she couldn't bare her teeth again. After a long time of finding her own confidence and learning to fight, she still saw Bombalurina as her superior in age and power...aside from her also being one of the head queens of the tribe. But she never threw that confident and charismatic alpha-queen power around...not unless it was necessary...and it was now.

Demeter took in a breath and relaxed just a few of the hairs on her back, sitting down again, though her tail twitched in protest. "Right...I'll listen, then."

With that, Bombalurina nodded. "I told Macavity that lie because it was the closest to the truth. The day I disappeared, I was last seen being chased by the humans, out on the streets...and I got away, under the notice of his minions. The chase was deliberate. I was escaping."

Her sister's jaw dropped. "You...were escaping...without me?"

"Believe me...I would have brought you if I could...but I had a good reason at the time. Had you escaped too, Macavity would have been scouring the streets more carefully. I couldn't be caught. I escaped...because I was about to give birth."

The quiet that reigned on after that sentence was thick, and Demeter was staring into her sister's yellow-green eyes, straight into her soul, to see the truth in her words...it must have been true. Never had she looked so remorseful than in that moment of confession.

"But...but..." Demeter shook her head, "...How? I would have noticed if you were pregnant, and especially close to birth..."

"I only had one kitten," Bombalurina interjected. "Nobody noticed, really, even Macavity. They thought I was perhaps just a bit pudgier. You may even remember it well enough if you think back. As for the how..." she had to let the tiniest of grins tug at her lip, "We were both among his personal liaisons, remember."

Demeter blinked for a moment, and then let out a sigh and shook her head, taking everything in...it was unbelievable, how uncanny her situation was. "...So...you escaped to have the kitten..."

"...Because if I had allowed him to be born there, he would have grown to be just another cat caught up in that monster's world. I could handle it...but I looked at that little helpless thing, forced into being...and..." There was a hitch in her breath, "...I couldn't let it happen. I stayed hidden for that month, and cared for him until it was nearly time for him to be weaned...and around that time, I happened to befriend a couple of very young—but extremely skilled—cats, who were working their way into Macavity's throng, thinking it would be a good advantage."

"...Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer," Demeter whispered in shock.

"On the nose," Bombalurina nodded. "I gave them warnings and advice about how Macavity worked...I took pity on them, I guess you could say...and in return, I suppose they took pity on me. Told me that they knew of a human who could take in wayward kittens...so lucky, isn't it, to find cats with true heart, among the weak-willed ones that Macavity kept on a leash. In secret, they showed me where the human lived, even. I left him at their door, Jerrie rang the bell, we ran...and...that was that. I thought I would never see him again...but at least I knew that he had a real chance. And then, I came back. That's the end."

Demeter was truly floored...all her previous anger gone, she sagged slowly onto the pillows, wearing a look of vehement disbelief. "You had escaped though...you could have stayed gone, but you came back..."

"I wasn't leaving you behind again," Bombalurina said with finality. "If I go, you go. That started when our humans moved away without us, and it never changed."

"...And so you knew what to do when I..."

"Jerrie and Teazer, grown up, but still had heart..." the red queen chuckled softly. "So...now you know what I've kept all these years. I figured that now was as good a time as any to tell...especially as I've found my closure about that kitten."

Demeter blinked up at her again. "What do you mean?"

Now it was Bombalurina's turn to have a knowing sparkle in her eye. "I wish you could have seen how surprised I was...when I was acquainting myself with the Jellicle cats...to see that he'd somehow found his way here, to them. And how happy he seemed to be."

"Wait," Demeter's brow furrowed. "You mean...I know him? Your kitten?"

Bombalurina looked wistful, though the fun of being cryptic was betrayed by the shine in her eyes. "Not much of a kitten anymore...his unique Jellicle name is Malterideas. Nobody but me would know that, though. Let's just say it's quite the coincidence, how our humans named you after a Greek goddess...and the guardsman named him after a Greek philosopher."

Demeter couldn't help the loud gasp she took, so much was her shock that she about fell back. "Plato is your son?"

"Shh!" the red queen hissed, placing her paw over her mouth. "That stays our secret, now. He doesn't know...and I would rather it stayed that way."

The gold queen nodded seriously, her voice lowered as she pushed her paw away and looked at her with a furrowed brow. "I can scarcely believe it, though! By Everlasting Cat...I was always unnerved by that little tom...no wonder, he has Macavity's eyes...and all this time he was...you were...oh..." she covered her eyes with a paw, shaking her head and groaning. "By Cat, Bomba...how come you've never told me this before?"

"There wasn't a need," she simply replied. "You couldn't help...you were dealing with your own secrets...your own demons. I've always let my personal guilt roll off of my shoulders, but...that one couldn't help but stay with me, my biggest regret. Still, I do regret not telling you sooner...but now you know everything there is to know of me. Do you trust me less?"

Demeter slowly opened her eyes to look at her again; she finally realized what Bombalurina had meant to do by opening up and telling this story. "...Of course not, Bomba," she shook her head with a harsh breath, "I'll always trust you with my life...and I know you had a reason to keep such a secret. You had a reason to...to do what you did. Just like I had a reason. But still...do you really think Munkustrap would understand, too?"

"I know he will," said Bombalurina as her paw rested on her little sister's shoulder blades. "And you know he will. He could never turn you away, not now."

Demeter felt that she did know this, deep in the back of her mind, deep in the recesses of her heart...but there would still always be that barrier of doubt, built through years of experience, slamming shut on her hopes like a barred gate. Her trust in Munkustrap could always break through it, and right now it was still fighting to assure her. As valiantly as he had done to defend her.

Her ears went back slightly. "But...say that he does."

"He won't."

"But...say that he does," she insisted quietly, looking her older companion in the eyes. "Say that the tribe would turn me away."

Bombalurina gave a bit of a sigh and a little smile, placing her paw under her chin. "Where you go...I go," she repeated her promise, though in reverse...proving herself the one constant comfort in her life, when everything else would fail.

It was just the hope now that Munkustrap would prove to be her second.

The accepting smile that came across the tortie's face then gave Bombalurina a little more reassurance. She's really done so much better. Someday I'll be able to look at her and see unrivaled and unbound courage.

"Find him and talk to him later," the red queen ordered, sternly yet gently as she gave her a short nuzzle and stood up. "Besides, you are having his kittens. He would still want to see them."

The gold-and-black queen chuckled and rolled her eyes, wiping away a bit of moisture. "Cats don't typically know their fathers, you know."

"And since when can you call the Jellicles a group of 'typical' cats?" Bombalurina asked with a quirked eyebrow and a paw on her hip. "Munkustrap and Tugger know their father. Jellylorum knows hers. Cat knows who else...and all love them dearly. You know very well that Munkustrap will want to know his kittens."

The tortie smiled and gave a little sigh, thinking of many possible reactions he will have to the news. "I do suppose you are right."

"Meanwhile..." Bombalurina then looked around, and turned to grab a pillow, "You should have some help setting up your nest. When your kittens open their eyes and start to wobble along, they could easily get lost in the crevices. Most of these pillows could stay to be a barrier."

Demeter blinked and shook her head, getting back into the focus of her task. "Oh, yes, good point." She replaced the pillow she had been carrying before. "But, speaking of kittens...are you sure you haven't thought of telling Plato?"

Bombalurina heaved a sigh that told a smirking Demeter that she probably shouldn't have said anything. "Not really. Like I said...he already seems happy where he is. Who would I be if I were to just toss that fact at him, so suddenly?"

"I don't know, really..." Demeter shrugged. "It's just...well, I never knew my real mother. I probably never will. If there came a chance to know what could have been..I feel it would be better than forever wondering. But, that is only me. I rarely speak to Plato...so I don't know his side."

A thoughtful silence followed that point, and Demeter could tell that Bombalurina was at least thinking about it. After doing a little hunting around for anything more to possibly make kitten-proof in her den, Demeter hummed an afterthought. "After hearing that story...I would at least wonder how he came from being adopted by a human to ending up here."

"Perhaps it was the same as us," Bombalurina murmured. "Perhaps they just couldn't keep him. It's much the same with the other strays. All I know is that he ended up safe and sound, and grew into a charming young tom. Smart, too...a little quiet, but he has his good friends." She gave a wistful hum. "That's all a mother can ask for, I suppose."

"Well, still...think about it. At least converse with him a little more."

"Or I could have you do it," the red queen said, sticking her tongue out. "He had a little kitten-crush on you for a time."

"Do not remind me," Demeter gave a groan. "At least he grew out of that. But yes, I acquiesce to the fact that I now have an excuse to be a little more amiable to him."

"You're his adoptive aunt," Bombalurina playfully pawed at her ear. "It is no excuse, just an obligation."

"At least he's not half as infuriating as his mother."

"Silence, peasant," the older queen bit back with a grin and a mock swipe, which Demeter easily ducked. "And you'd better not tell him."

"Mum's the word, auntie Bomba."

So went the rest of the evening, spent in lighthearted banter and preparation for the new lives to soon grace the tribe.

The guardhouse wasn't a terribly big place; but the sloped roof rose a good few feet above the line of the border fence, and could always be seen from just about anywhere in the junkyard. It always seemed bigger when one looked on the inside, and a little more cozy, as the day worker who ran the place had decorated it well enough; and especially on the holidays. Inside was a simple desk and chair, with a bulky little television, a radio, a fan or a heater depending on the season, and other such office-type things, and the space tended to smell like some of the cats...as well as meats of different varieties.

The Jellicles had been lucky enough to have a guardsman who loved cats; he knew nearly every stray that lived there or owned cat that visited, and would set out food for them at different points of the day. Many of their human nicknames had even come from him, or his daughter who visited at times. So, suffice it to say, it wasn't an uncommon thing for the human to come to work and find certain cats sleeping inside. Munkustrap, who was his formally-adopted companion, had a large plush bed of his own tucked in the far corner, across from the desk and diagonal from the door. Demeter had napped in it dozens of times; sometimes alone, sometimes cuddled with Munkustrap, or with Bombalurina, if the Guardian had chosen to stay in his human's flat in a building just a few blocks away. After the Jellicle Ball, all three had spent the whole next day sleeping in it together (it was most amusing to overhear the humans speculating on what the cats had been doing the night prior to make them so exhausted).

The door was always locked until the guardsman came to unlock it at dawn...but Demeter knew that the window latch could be manipulated with a clever cat's paws and pulled open. The sun was just about to breach the horizon as she did so that morning, after having a quick nap to gather her thoughts. She could spy her beloved mate still sleeping inside, in his place just under the windowsill; she was as quiet as she could be to get it open, and the dusty, familiar smell of wood and metal and fabric and human instantly hit her nose.

She closed the window again and leaped carefully to the floor, looking over the silver cat as he slept, so peaceful and serene. The tortie at first felt bad about wanting to wake him...there were times that he'd really needed the sleep, so tightly-wound up in his concentration each evening to protect the yard and the tribe and be there for them, that it couldn't have helped but tax him to the core.

But, she also knew that he had probably been asleep for a little while now anyway, and he would be awake as soon as his human came to call...and he had never been mad before, even in the slightest, when it was her that he woke up to. The thought made her smile blissfully, and her heart welled with such love for him that it was nigh painful.

Don't back out, Demeter...he will listen. He will. She took in a long breath to steady her nerves, and then helped herself into the edge of the bed. His scent was calming, and his warmth seemed to reach out to her. She nestled slowly against him, and watched him a few seconds more before leaning in to lick across his ears and neck.

He gave a little trill and stirred at the grooming, seemingly also feeling her there beside him, and he rumbled a purr that took over her hearing and made her become lost in her tender actions. She only stopped when she saw his ears craning to hear her close breathing.

Slowly, he opened his eyes to see her there with him, a gentle smile on her face. "Good morning, love," she murmured.

"Mmm..." he groaned, blinking a few more times, before his eyes suddenly opened fully, and he felt like he jumped when he sat up. "Demeter!" His excited smile couldn't help but make her giggle, it was so unexpectedly cute.

He laid himself down, immediately curling about her body and nuzzling every bit of her face and neck that he could reach...as if he feared that he would never touch her again. "Are you alright? I'd been so worried when I hadn't seen you...and with you missing your training, really now," he let a stern little note enter his voice, but his earnest hold and soft laugh were both overpowering what seriousness he could muster.

She returned his affection in full force, butting her head against his chin. "I'm alright, darling...no need to fret." She drew in a long breath through her nose, drinking in his scent. "I'm so very sorry to have made you worry...I just...had a lot on my mind, all of a sudden."

"It must have been something very important," he guessed, nudging her with his head once more before meeting her soft golden eyes with his unspoken questions. "...Do you wish to talk about it?"

There was a pause when she closed her eyes tightly, and he knew that it was something she was indeed mustering up the will to say. But still he was silently encouraging, his paw going around her shoulders, his pads flexing and rubbing.

"...I do want to talk...about something very important, in fact..."

But suddenly, she was cut off from her sentence, as the sound of shoes crunching outside made the cats' ears perk, followed by the door's lock coming undone.

Demeter, still ever self-conscious about being seen in the guardhouse by a human, instantly leaped from the bed and skittered underneath the desk.

Munkustrap met her eyes and gave her a little comforting smile before turning his attention to the opening door. She watched as he made a show of stretching, his tail raised as he greeted the pair of heavy shoes coming in with a trilling and excited "Mrraow".

"Ah, there you are, m'boy," said the guardsman as his large and calloused hand could be seen reaching down to encompass the silver tom's head in a rub and a few scratches, and then moving the stroking along his back. "Another long night in the yard, eh? A guard's work is never done I suppose, even fer a cat."

"Mreh," Munkustrap vocalized in agreement, trotting along easily with the human as he hung up his coat on one of the hooks in the far corner.

"Well, I got just the ticket fer you. Made a few bowls of hearty chicken pieces and gravy. How much d'ya want to bet yer friends'll smell that and come runnin, eh?"

"Myah!" the tom exclaimed in a louder tone, and then turned his back to trot over to the desk where Demeter was still hiding (and watching with amusement). "Come have breakfast with me," he whispered with a smile.

The queen had to admit, she found the sound of the meal more than tempting...especially now. She nodded with a shy smile, and very slowly came out of hiding to greet the human with a cautious gaze.

The guardsman let out a hearty chuckle. "Well, now! A visitor already...and one of your lovely girls, eh? Been wonderin' where you've been fer a few days, little Demeter." He took off his hat and knelt down, extending his hand for her to sniff, which she did.

You have to love a human who knows how to approach a cat, she grinned inwardly as she took in the heavenly smell of the meats that he'd surely prepared for the Jellicles that day in his fingernails, and head-bumped his knuckles to invite his scratches behind her ears, giving a quiet trill of her own.

"There's a girl. Don'tcha worry, I've got plenty." He gave her one last scratch under her chin before standing up and reaching into his backpack. "'Ere, I'll even sprinkle yours with some salmon, eh? Don't get jealous, Peter boy, I know you'll just turn your nose up at the fish."

The cats sat together and watched him fill the double-sided bowl with their breakfast, and she couldn't help but give her mate a sideways grin. "I still find it funny that he named you Peter."

"Not all of us can be gods," he smirked back with a little nudge. "At least I didn't have Tugger's human."

"Oh goodness, yes," Demeter rolled her eyes. "Fluffkin. I'd lose all respect for you with a name like that."

"I'm surprised you haven't over Peter."

"Well," her tongue stuck out, "It's cute, so it suits you."

He gave a little scoff and a shy grin, leaning against her a little.

"And here we are," said the guardsman as he turned around with the dual-bowl and placed it down in front of the cat bed, both sides filled with a hearty helping of the meats (and sprinkled with extra fish for Demeter). "Caught ya both for a romantic breakfast, eh, lucky boy?" he chuckled and gave Munkustrap's head a playful ruffle before finally attending to the rest of his opening duties at the desk.

The silver tom gave the food a series of sniffs before delicately digging in, eyes closing in satisfaction.

Demeter was usually just as composed over a meal...but the absolutely heavenly smell seemed a bit too much for her that morning. Before she could stop herself, she all but attacked her share, so far as to even nudge the bowl a little.

Munkustrap swallowed and gave a surprised chuckle with a concerned eyebrow quirk. "Goodness, love, have you eaten at all in the last day?"

The tortie suddenly froze, having just caught herself in what must have seemed like a food frenzy. She lifted her face out of the bowl, feeling some of it clinging to her fur as she chewed more slowly and swallowed, and hunched into herself with an embarrassed grin. "Oh, Cat, I'm so sorry...I must have been hungrier than I thought..."

"Quite alright," he softly laughed again and leaned over to lick her face clean of the wayward food particles, giving her a loving smile before going back to his own meal. Feeling warm in the wake of his tenderness and understanding, Demeter right then felt all the more hopeful about everything she had to confess. She tried to take her time in filling up her belly with her share now, but still felt tempted to eat it all, and quickly. What living on the streets for a long time can do to you...especially if you're expecting.

Once they were finished, they cleaned their faces and paws, had a satisfying drink of water, and Munkustrap gave her a little nudge, meeting her gaze with an inviting smile. "It's still early. Come back to bed...and we can talk."

She took the invitation gratefully...she always felt safe in the guardhouse, especially with him there, and she knew that his human wouldn't bother them for a while. It was rather uncanny how much like Munkustrap the man was, that once he was sitting at his desk and doing paperwork while watching the outside of the yard, it was nigh impossible to get him to stop until his break at lunch.

When the fearful queen first knew how welcome she was there, by human and cat alike, it was the most like home she'd ever felt in so long. It was probably as perfect as it was going to get right now...and though it was probably impossible to happen...if the worst reaction was to come, she wanted to remember how she felt at this moment.

She tried to keep her welling heart in check as her mate let her into the cat bed first, and after she was curled up in a comfortable spot against the corner, he kneaded a little on the fabric and nestled in against her, a protective silver wall that surrounded both her senses and herself.

Once they were settled, his patient and calm gaze bore into hers, silently waiting for her to tell of her troubles.

Demeter took a little breath, a tiny smile on her lip. "Something made me realize, recently...I'm not being at all fair to you."

His head tilted and brow rose slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Well...you...and your entire absolutely unbelievable family...have shown me more kindness than I've ever been shown from other cats, save for Bomba. Kindness, understanding, love, brightness, fun...more than I could have expected. And you...you've been saving me slowly from hopelessness, and showing me that I could be better. And meanwhile...I've still been keeping secrets."

He opened his mouth to argue, probably still that the past didn't matter to him, it never would...but she stopped him with a paw pressed against his chest. "Munkustrap, I love you so much...and I feel that if you must love me...then you should know everything of me." Her paw slid down into his. "I have a long story to tell. If you want to hear it."

Munkustrap regarded her for a moment, giving her a slow blink of the eyes to punctuate his words as he held her paw and stroked it softly. "If you want to tell it, then I want to listen," he assured. "And even if you don't...I love you too, truly...that won't change."

Demeter's breath hitched at his words, always soft and sincere, always practically law...and she nodded, her gaze trying to stay on his. "I still feel that I owe it to you to tell you."

His smile was gentle and encouraging, and his paw raised to her cheek. "Then don't burden yourself any longer, my strong queen. Tell me."

Her thoughts gathered and threatening to fall all at once in her mind, her heart wanting to both break and grow at his touch, she nodded, closed her eyes, and began.

"I suppose you would know some things already, or guess. Bombalurina and I had a human home when we were kittens...that's how we met...she was there first, and I was a lost, tiny stray that they took in. And when we were nearly adults, the humans moved away, and had to leave us behind with nothing but our collars.

"We had to learn quickly about life on the streets. Food was scarce, friendship more so. Bombalurina though...I'll always admire how easily she could take things in stride, and make amiable acquaintances of other cats...or dogs, or humans, or whatever. If she had a power, I suppose it would be her charm. Without her I would have probably gotten myself in a state like Grizabella's had been, or worse...I will have seen plenty of other cats like that, and I was always sad for them. We learned how to hunt, but she never needed to use it...whereas I took it upon myself to do so, because otherwise, where would our next meal come from?

"It was like that for far too long...there was a long, cold winter where we wondered if we would make it at all. But somehow we managed...knowing that we probably couldn't survive another one.

"Then one day, we were scavenging around in the darkest alleys of the city. A few very rough cats noticed us...a couple of young queens, alone...well, you can guess that they were after some trouble. Even Bombalurina in all her wit couldn't get through to those feral creatures. And that's when we met him. Out of nowhere he seemed to come, and dispersed those cats with but a word and a glare.

"Macavity was a curious one to us at first. A genial, respectable cat with what seemed like a good amount of influence in the streets...influence enough to keep trouble away from us. He welcomed us into his world, practically saved us from an uncertain fate...but he never let us forget that we would be indebted to him for it. We became two more of his courtesans...younger and pretty...which you can imagine didn't go down well with the older, more disheveled queens who were happy to let their very lives depend on his influence. Bombalurina could always take insults spat at her and simply let them roll off her back. It was much harder for me. Macavity never let fights break out, but, words can sting worse than any wound.

"It didn't help that, surprisingly, out of my more...outgoing sister and I...it was me with whom he was becoming captivated. I will always remember how he looked at me...he didn't leer. It was more like he was studying me, seeing me from the inside and not just the outside. It was always unnerving, but...I hadn't minded at the time. The young and impressionable thing that I was, I was charmed by him, and welcomed his company. And he'd saved us, after all. He'd done enough to paint himself an agreeable tom."

"Peh," Munkustrap scoffed and shook his head. "My apologies, but I will never understand that line of thinking he's got about treating queens; having courtesans...the final choice on a mate belongs to the queen. That's always been our way."

She blinked at her mate, always surprised at how courteous and respectful he'd been raised to be. "It was my choice..."

"No, it wasn't," the Guardian countered, and she saw the avid insistence in his gaze. "It was manipulation. You weren't presented with a choice...just a condition."

Demeter sighed softly. "Well...I know that now...and and least now, I have had another chance to do it right...I know that I did make a good choice this time," she gave him a little grin.

"And I will always be honored," he returned her smile, softly caressing her paw. "But...please. Continue."

She nodded. "Anyway...as time passed, we were slowly beginning to see what he really was. Akin to Sherlock's Moriarty, the Napoleon of Crime, his paws were dipped into the most unscrupulous, dastardly things...you name the crime, he's probably had a proverbial hand in it. The city's dark pits were all eating out of his paws.

"Bombalurina got used to it quickly, of course...she always did have a thing for more dangerous toms when she was younger. And her charm was still at its peak...there was nobody in his thrall with whom she couldn't also rub elbows...which helped better our standings. I usually just tagged along, or was happy enough to keep to myself...whenever Macavity didn't need me at his side. While Bombalurina's hobby was socializing, mine was making use of my survival skills in my spare time. I gained a reputation soon enough as the best hunter in his personal sphere."

Munkustrap's brow rose; there was something he didn't know. "...You rarely join in our hunts, though, I've noticed."

"There's a bit of a reason for that," Demeter started...and then Munkustrap saw her freeze completely.

He watched in confusion as, without moving the rest of her body, one ear slowly cocked backward. The pupils in her wide eyes narrowed into the smallest of slits...it was as if she was in a trance. And then...

FWAP! "Queeek!"

Lightning-fast, she'd shot up, and her right paw had struck backward to the wall behind her.

Stunned briefly, Munkustrap's brow furrowed as he looked around her to what had made that hideous, high-pitched squeak (and briefly checked to see if his human had noticed...but nope, in the interim of their conversation he'd turned on the radio, paying no mind to the cats). There, pinned to the wall by her claws, so tightly that it couldn't even struggle, was a mouse.

"...I didn't even notice that thing in here..." the silver tom blinked, slowly facing Demeter again. "That's incredible."

She seemed to come slowly out of her intensity then. "Again, I learned quickly on the streets." There was a thoughtful pause, and then she removed her paw. The mouse dropped to the floor, stunned. "To catch what I could, when I could. I never played with my food." She nudged the thing along. "He's very lucky that I'm full, however."

Munkustrap let out an impressed huff as the disoriented creature took its sudden freedom to disappear through the open door. "However did you do that? Sense it so quickly?"

She shrugged one shoulder as she settled comfortably back down again. "I've been told I have incredible focus. I suppose that would be my power if I could describe it...I could hone in on whatever I want or have to look for, and could easily take it, no hesitation. Maybe that's how I can tell if Macavity's close by, with just a hint of his presence...just a hint, that's all it takes, and I am focused on nothing else. In that way it's as much a curse as a blessing...you can imagine, having seen me at it.

"Well...Macavity sooner or later took note of it. He began to keep me close at all times, watched my every decision and move...he seemed interested in helping me train that focus...while also slowly draining my resolve, to ever deny him anything. He always assured me that my only use was for him...that I was there because I couldn't live anywhere else. I began to hate him for saying so...oh Cat how I hated him...but I was too afraid to act on my anger...I'd seen his powers. He kept me weak...and made me believe that only he was my strength. Again...if it weren't for Bombalurina being there for me, making sure I knew otherwise...I don't know what I would have turned into." She snorted. "That he could still make me feel like I first did when I met him...when he made love to me...didn't help my resolve in the least.

"And as for the focus training...ultimately...I wasn't just one of his close liaisons. I was a puppet. He could take my mind with one look into his eyes and a wave of his paw...and he could set me on anything to target. I'd killed rats almost as big as me...and I reveled in it, because I had worked hard to earn that skill myself, learned to love the thrill of the hunt...and, as long as I was focused, I was useful, and I couldn't be threatened even by his words."

Demeter didn't notice how badly she was shaking as her memories came back...not until Munkustrap put his paw on her cheek and gently brought her back to reality. But he could tell from the look she gave him that there was still more...and so he attentively listened, while stroking her paw and shoulder.

"...One day...he was to go see a client of his. Something about a deal having fallen through that he didn't want to. Bombalurina and I were both there; he liked to take us out to important meetings for appearances. I should have found it stranger that he'd only taken us, and not a couple of his more brutish bodyguards as well.

"I remember the other cat was somewhat nervous as they spoke...he was an older one...I hadn't been paying much attention otherwise. Macavity spoke evenly and calmly, like it was something routine.

"...But then...he said he'd wanted to show him something. He called me over...and before I could question anything, his hypnotic eyes had taken me over, and my vision was blurred.

"I remember...Macavity pointed, and said... 'there's a rat in here, my dear. Get it for me, won't you?'

"...I...don't remember anything else. I saw a rat. I attacked. That's all I knew. And when I came back to myself..." Demeter couldn't stand to look anymore. She was trembling, her eyes squinted shut. "...I just saw blood...and Bombalurina's horrified look...and Macavity's smug, proud smile."

She started breathing a little harder, and could feel Munkustrap's paw sliding from her shoulder. "I'd..." she shook her head, "I'd been made into a killer. And I couldn't back out of it. He's had me do it again...maybe twice, three times more. But that was enough...he was more of a force to be reckoned with. Bombalurina, bless her, she still stayed with me through my darkest times."

She took a deeper breath, and wasn't sure if she could feel the Guardian's touch anymore...she was overcome with her own grief and guilt. "And...and that's why he wants me back so badly. Not just because I was his favorite queen...I was his favorite tool."

Demeter took a beat to control her emotions...it was getting a little harder to let it out, but she had to, all of it, she needed to.

"...What's more...I only finally had enough of Macavity when...when I discovered that...well...the inevitable had happened. I was expecting kittens.

"I was allowed to rest while I was pregnant...allowed to care for them, nurse them...but he made it clear that any kittens that didn't meet his standards of health would be...disposed of. Bombalurina was allowed to help...and I still thank the Heaviside to this day that Macavity wasn't there when...only a single one was born. A little queen, so tiny that I almost feared she wouldn't live...and surely she wouldn't, if he'd seen her.

"...I couldn't let it happen. Ever. Not to a kitten...not to my kitten. Bombalurina agreed...and she used her Everlasting Cat-given influence to keep us hidden and find help...in the most unlikely place. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer...two cat burglars in his own employ, whom she'd apparently befriended a good time before. They said...they knew a tribe to take her to when she was weaned, where she would be safe...a tribe I hadn't heard of since I was a kitten."

Demeter still hadn't opened her eyes to see Munkustrap's face. But she heard his voice quietly guess after a pregnant pause. "...Our tribe."

She nodded.

"...I know her, then."

Another nod, and a breath taken. "I'd...I'd named her Sillabub."

"Jemima...oh, my word..."

She almost wanted to release her tears right there, hearing how his voice was breaking in disbelief. Her breath was shaky. "And so, added to my list of crimes, I abandoned my own kitten...for her own good. I told Macavity that she didn't make it through birth, when he came to check...he believed me, and life went on...but I...I couldn't. I couldn't go on. I had to escape.

"...There was a brief, scary time where I could have happily accepted the Heaviside Layer...but Bombalurina was determined to find another way...and Cat bless those two silly, very skilled thieves...they had. In the dead of one early morning, we'd stolen out from under his nose, and those of his agents...we'd escaped...and we went as far as we could, never looking back.

"...And the rest, I believe you know. You and Alonzo met Jerrie and Teazer at their home in Victoria Grove, where they had us in hiding...and took us back to the yard."

For what seemed like a long beat, nothing was said. She still couldn't bear to look at him...but he was still there. She felt his warmth. And she could only guess what could be going through the Guardian's mind now.

"So...that is that. For all the love I have for this tribe...for all the love I have for you...and that I still have for Jemima, who I can never bear to tell to this day...for all the love you've all given me...my past has still haunted me so...and I can't keep it in any longer. You've been harboring a murderer...and a weak-willed tool of a depraved cat...who could have probably turned me on all of you."

He still didn't say anything...and still she wasn't looking at him. But she did feel the bed shifting, and his warmth shrank...but he had merely sat up.

"...What must you think of me now?" she dared to ask.

She could hear Munkustrap breathing in preparation to speak. "...You come into our yard...into my tribe..."

Demeter flinched, though his voice never once broke the even, shaky tone on which he continued; it was like he was trying hard not to...do something like yell, or cry. "...You become accepted into my family...you become a respected Jellicle, sing with us, dance with us...you brave through your fears, you warn us of danger, you fight for us..."

He seemed to be holding back his emotions harder with his next shaky breath. "I fall in love with you...and now you tell me all of this..."

She was trembling, just waiting for the Guardian's final words, letting a tear finally escape her tightly-shut eyes.

"...And you think that I would be so cruel as to just turn you away?"

Demeter shortly gasped, her shaking coming to a halt as her eyes finally flew open again to look at him. He was sitting straight, but he was forcing his breathing to even out as his deep green eyes, so full of so many words, stared back into her with a sad frown on his face.

She sat up with him, staring back with a furrowed brow. "Wouldn't you be wise to? What if somehow I lose control and can't return to myself? What if he actually manages to cloud my mind again, to set me on you, the tribe, the kittens? I'm a killer, Munkustrap," she said with a shaky voice, "I'm a danger."

His stare kept resolute for a second...and then he stood without preamble and turned towards the door. "Come with me," he ordered.

Demeter tilted her head after him in confusion, but obeyed, and he led her out of the guardhouse and into the dewy, morning-lit exterior of the yard's fence. The city noises were all still mostly quiet, and there was a peaceful warmth permeating the otherwise tense moods of the two cats moving toward a little secluded grassy lot.

There, they sat facing each other again, and Demeter fixed a glare on him. "What are we doing here?"

But to her surprise, she watched as he reached up and undid the buckle of his collar. "I didn't want my human to be concerned and interrupt us." He slid his familiar black-studded garment and tag from around his neck and fixed her with a furrowed brow. "You say you're a danger? A killer?" He raised his chin. "Then prove it."

"I...what?"

"Prove it," he echoed, reaching to take one of her paws in his. "This shouldn't be a problem for you, if you're so sure that you're dangerous." To her horror, he pressed her paw to the pulse point of his neck and held it there, closing his eyes. "Do it."

"Wh...I..." she stammered, and she tried not to feel his blood throbbing through her pads. "Munkustrap, no, I..."

"Why not?" he pressed on, even going so far as to force her claws to slide out onto his skin. "Prove that you're a murderer. It's easy."

She was shaking hard, gritting her teeth. Her claws were twitching of their own accord, and his blood rushed just beneath the skin of her paw, so close to being spilled...

"...I...I can't." She struggled to pull away, but she feared clawing him in the process.

"Why not?"

"I...I don't...I...no. No!" Her head shook violently.

"No, what?"

"No...I can't! I can't, Munk!"

"Why can't you?" he practically growled.

"Because I...I won't...I...I wouldn't."

"...Exactly."

The sudden calmness in his voice right then made her freeze, and he gazed back into her eyes again with his steadfast confidence shining in his own. "You can't, because you wouldn't."

He let go of her paw, and she snatched it back so quickly that it was as if she were burnt, holding it tightly against herself as she regarded the silver tom in front of her, still trembling.

And that's when his steady posture fell, and his face scrunched with emotion, as he pulled Demeter into his arms and held her tightly against him. A little gasp escaped her at the contact, and a few more tears broke from her eyes. "Munkustrap..."

"Demeter," she could feel him shaking his head as he spoke, "I know you better than that. You know you better than that. You can't be a murderer, because you would never want to kill anyone...it was all him...his power, his lies, his manipulative pile of bollocks. You are caring, brave, protective, and loving...you've been that and much more to me, and to the tribe, for all the time you were here, and Cat save me, I love you with all I have."

He felt her back heaving, and her breaths becoming shallow as tears stained the fur on his neck. "I still killed, Munk..."

"No. Macavity killed, using you. He tried to break you so that you would stay. He threatened you when you showed an ounce of defiance, as you should have. And still you escaped him, and now you work hard to know that you are so much better than what he wanted you to think." He held on tighter, his face rubbing against her head. "Someday, he will pay for his crimes...and for what he did to you. I will make sure of it."

Demeter's heart felt like it could break free from her rib-cage and fly, so painfully it welled in her and so fast it thundered, and her body started shaking with her quiet sobbing against him. He held her all the tighter and simply let her cry on him, smoothing the fur down on her shoulders and back.

"You crazy, wonderful, beautiful tom," she whimpered out with a loud sniff after a moment, "You really still trust me?"

"If I didn't, I would not have put your claws against my throat," he pointed out, nuzzling her face and looking into her eyes with his eternally-warm smile. "I trust you with my life; as I've always said, I know who you really are, and care nothing for who you were forced to be."

She shakily smiled back, feeling cleansed and relieved, like a weight that she'd been carrying all her life had finally been lifted. She reached a paw up and wiped the moisture from her eyes. "...I know that I never wanted to be that way...I knew it wasn't my choice...but I still fear that he could use me against you. It's a recurring nightmare."

"One that's unfounded," he assured, rubbing his brow against hers before slowly releasing her from his hold and reaching over for his collar. "He's never gotten close to trying, because you've always seen him coming. And even if he could try, that is the very reason you are learning to fight." He slipped the collar on and tightened it back. "I want you to be able to easily hold your own, and to break free from his mental grasp as well."

Her teeth grit together, uncertain. "I don't think I could do that so easily. How on Earth could you ever break his hypnosis?"

Munkustrap thought about that for a moment. "It has to do with seeing it coming, I suppose. As soon as I could see him try, I would chant a song in my head, and distract myself from him...so that it doesn't stick, and I could shake loose." He hummed, and then looked at her. "And actually, that could be where your power of focus becomes a blessing. He can't take hold of your mind if he can't take your attention. Even if you'd looked him dead in the eyes...if he can't have your attention, he can't have your will."

She let out a snort, seeing the irony. "You'd have me train my focus."

A little smirk quirked his lip, and he placed his paws on her shoulders, looking at her seriously. "But for your own good, and not mine." He held that point for a beat, and then let her go. "We'll probably have to employ the help of the mystic cats, to help you fight against hypnosis. The twins, or Mistofelees. But for now, there's also the fighting to hone."

Demeter let out a sigh, still inwardly reveling in the proven fact that Munkustrap was still a constant source of strength in her life. "The training is helping, I think...I'll gladly take it, if it means someday standing tall against him." She gave him a loving smile. "I'm just so happy that you don't think of me any less...for what I've had to do."

"Never," he returned her smile and took her paws, reverently nuzzling against them. "And don't add having to give up Jemima to your regrets, either. You had to do so to protect her...and that proves that you loved her, and regardless of how she came to be. However," he looked her in the eyes again, "I would hope that at some point you talk to her. Now that you're both in a safe place, I feel she would want to know the truth...and I know that she'll still accept you as easily as I do."

The gold-and-black queen nodded with agreement. "I will tell her...someday. I've been meaning to." Then, she suddenly released a long yawn from between her jaws.

Munkustrap chuckled gently. "Tired, are we?"

"All things considered," she confirmed with a little grin. "I shall be going back to the guardhouse...would you be going on your patrols?"

Munkustrap made a show of thinking, tapping his chin with a hum. "Let's see...getting started too early on my duties, oooor curling up with a very beautiful queen for the rest of the morning...how shall I ever choose...?"

She snorted and shook with quiet laughter, giving him a playful swat. "Let's go, then, you incessant charmer."

He had to laugh a little as well, standing up and letting her lean on him as they strolled together, out of the little vacant lot and back to the little sanctuary outside of the yard that she would forever call home.

"At any rate," he said after a peaceful beat of silence as they reached the front of the guardhouse, "We should have to get back to your training, soon...if you're up to it."

Demeter then hummed, and when he looked at her expression, he was suddenly curious to see that she had a very mischievous gleam in them. "Well, I don't know..." she slowly dropped to the ground and rolled onto her side. "We may have to postpone the training for a little..."

He quirked an eyebrow and smirked, sitting beside her. "Well...you did have a very emotionally exhausting few days...about how long would you say you need?"

Her eyes rolled upward in thought as she half-rolled onto her back, suddenly feeling playful as her paws curled up. "Oh, I would say maybe...six or seven weeks?"

He barked out a laugh at that and looked at her incredulously. "That long? Why would you possibly need that much time, dare I ask?"

I love this tom, but sometimes, he needs a bit of help getting it. She rolled her eyes and grinned, reaching to take one of his paws. "I'll give you a hint," she said with a purr and placed it low on her stomach. "It rhymes with 'mittens'."

"Mittens," he echoed quietly, pursing his lip as he tried to puzzle her riddle...for about half a second. Then, she felt his pads splay out on her abdomen, and saw his eyes widen. He looked from her stomach to her face, where she still had that happy gleam in her eyes and a grin that got bigger when she saw his realization.

He froze stiff when it hit him, and his lip slowly pulled up into a grin of his own.

Amused, Demeter sat up and tilted her head, raising her paw and waving it in his face. "Love? Are you still there?"

Then, suddenly, he gave a toothy smile and tackled her back to the ground, making her release a high-pitched giggle as he playfully nipped at her neck.

He was laughing along heartily when he looked her in the eyes, pressing his nose to hers. "You're not joking, right?" he breathed out, shaking with a giddy sort of energy, "Please tell me it's true."

She laughed back, placing her paw on his face. "It's true, darling...I'm pregnant...with your kittens."

He was still letting out laughs with his breath when he let her up and sat beside her, shaking his head. "I, I can't believe it...we're going to be—and, and I'm going to be—and you're going to be..."

Then, all at once, he froze again, his face falling into a serious look. "Right, right," his head shook, "Right, no, okay, yes..." he took his mate by the shoulders, "We are definitely postponing the training."

She had to laugh at how suddenly at attention he was, her paw placed under his chin. "Well, I'm glad I have an acceptable excuse, my love."

"It's more than acceptable," he smiled again, bringing her into a tight embrace and nuzzling her tenderly. "Our kittens...I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life..."

"I don't think I've ever seen you so excited," Demeter returned his affectionate actions in full, bumping her head against his. "...And I don't think I've been this happy...ever."

He breathed out a sigh against her neck. "You more than deserve to be." Munkustrap faced her again with what she could describe as amazement and reverence in his eyes, while he let his paw caress back down to her belly. The silver tom could definitely see a little difference in her figure, and parting her fur, one of her nipples was already showing a darker shade of pink. "You think you're probably a few weeks along, then?"

She nodded, shivering a little in bliss at his touch. "I've had some of the symptoms...and it explains my sudden fervor at breakfast," she snickered. "Jenny and Jelly are sure of it too, but, I would probably have Tantomile and Coricopat give me a once-over later."

"I would, too," he agreed, giving her one more nuzzle as he led her back into the guardhouse. "And actually, perhaps the training should be postponed until at least after they've been weaned..."

"I'm certain some of the others would be happy to kitten-sit," Demeter hummed as they padded past his human (who gave them both a stroke on the back in passing) and over toward the bed. "I honestly can't wait to see their reactions."

"They are always happy to see new kittens," Munkustrap pointed out as he waited for her to get comfortable inside again. "I don't think any have been born to the tribe itself since...since Electra and Etcetera."

Demeter shook her head with a smirk as she watched him climb in with her. "The other young ones will be ecstatic. I wonder how many of ours there will be."

"We will know soon," he said with a quiet murmur, wrapping up warmly around her body and resting an arm about her shoulders. "I already love them all, as I love you."

"...And I love you more than I can say," she murmured back, pressing herself as much to his enveloping warmth as she could.

"No need to even say it," his voice breezed through her ears, and he tenderly licked the top of her head and cheeks until they felt a nap coming to claim the two of them once again.

And the once-lost queen finally felt whole, and well and truly at home, the fears that plagued her all falling slowly away for that one quiet morning.