A Kiss With a Catch


A Sappy Short by Nat-chan
e-mail: [email protected]
disclaimer: Did I read in someone's disclaimer that Naoko is
married and just had a baby???? *shrieks hysterically*
yaaaay Naoko!!!!! p.s. I don't own Sailormoon and all hopes
of becoming Naoko's adopted daughter and inheriting it are gone now
too.

sigh.

author's notes: *dodges stuff thrown at her* I know I know, I have
a billion fics on the go and should be working on them...actually
I should be doing homework, heh heh cough. But I just wanted to
write a little short inspired by this old film we watched in class today
and I forget the name of it but it's soooo cute and hilarious!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And coffee kept me warm
When I was a stranger to love

Suddenly you arrived
Sparkling in every nerve, alive
Spilling out light with every touch
It tumbled from you so strange, so much
Some of it even hit me...
excerpt from "Stranger to Love" by Me :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mamoru Chiba was a very busy man.

A very busy man with places to go and people to see. Plans to make and
goals to achieve. There simply was not room in his life for romance and girls.

He reasoned this as he sat at his immaculate table in the pristine kitchen
of his--needless to add gleaming upperclass--apartment. He drank his coffee and
read his paper in a calm, collected, orderly fashion. He had his books packed and
ready for school, his things for work later. He was organized and prepared. His life
was baren of chaos really, and for all appearances so was he.

But today he sat gripping his coffee mug with obvious tension. It seems all was not well
in the brain of Mamoru Chiba. And why?

With life smoothed down to the last detail what could possibly be troubling our handsome
hero?

Indeed, although he shrugged off the idea of introducing the spiraling vortex of disorder
(as he commonly referred to love and romance) into his life he was thinking about it all
the same.

Motoki, his best friend, had dropped the proverbial bomb on him just a few days before...

"Aren't you lonely Mamoru?"

"Lonely?"

"Yeah, you know. After studying and work and a long day, there's nothing nicer than
a pair of warm arms waiting to greet you."


Mamoru sighed and sipped his coffee. But didn't love involve a great deal of upfront
stress and...and chaos? Wouldn't that just flip his careful routine upside down?
Besides, as he had told Motoki, he was far too busy for girls. Yes, entirely too busy.

The truth of the matter is, Mamoru's life was calm, but his brain was chaos. Let's delve
in and see shall we?

Mamoru sits quietly drinking coffee? I think not.

~I'm reading the paper, I'm NOT thinking about what Motoki said! I don't have room in my
life for girls. I'm far far too busy. Besides, they're all the same, phony, thoughtless
and insincere. I do NOT want someone like that in my life! No, not at all. I'm quite
happy with my routine. Yes, I am always on time, always organized, everything takes place
in a logical order with calm and peace and...what time is it anyway?~

A glance to his watch revealed, horrifically, that this delve into the philosophical had
cost him precious minutes and he was--late!

He lept up and clattered his cup into the sink, then stuffed the paper into the fridge
before throwing on his coat and leaping out the door, bag in hand.

~I can't believe I let myself run late! I'm so busy! Busy busy busy, no time for
girls. No time at all!~

He flew down the street and off into the day, trying desperately to re-order his thoughts--with
OUT girls in them!!


Later that afternoon found him still hurrying, after finishing class and work he was headed
to the arcade for coffee--still repeating his mantra.

~I am too busy for girls. Far far too busy....~

CRASH

Insert Tsukino Usagi here.

Mamoru was dazed a moment but quickly regained himself. It could be none other than
Usagi, the golden haired girl who seemed bent on head-on collisions. If chaos were a
human being...it would have to be Usagi. Her constant bubbly chatter, her inadvertantly
disastrous challenge with balance, just...her, she was chaos. Ironic that he should crash
into her everyday. But today his routine had been upset. There was no time for banter
with the chaotic and likewise confusing girl.

"Odango..." He muttered, taking her firmly by the sides and placing her back on her feet
like a pilon, "I don't have time....."

He entered the arcade and she stared strangely after him. He seemed...distracted today.
Not cutting comments about 'the Odango' being the most chaotic part of his routine. No
insults....hmmmmm.

She watched him drink coffee at the counter as she entered, noting how he seemed deep
in thought.

"Have you thought about what I said?" Motoki asked casually.

Mamoru's eyes narrowed, "I'd prefer NOT to think about it anymore Motoki--if you don't mind!"

"But--" Protested Motoki but Mamoru interupted.

"No Motoki, I did think about it alright? But I'm far too busy for romance and anyway,
there aren't any girls I like...they're all so phony and I like the order and calm in my
life."

With that he turned to make a regal exit, his routine at last re-established now that his
afternoon coffee was imbibed.

But another collision with the shamelessly eavesdropping Usagi once again presented to him
the reason he did NOT want girls in his life.

He nearly knocked her over backwards but in a rather dashing gesture, caught her in his
arms and set her straight again--unaware of how close they were.

"Odango," He sighed, "You must be more careful, I don't always have time to crash
into you."

And with that enigmatic statement he left.

Usagi blinked in confusion before sitting in his vacated stool.

Motoki smiled sympathetically, "Hey Usagi."

"Hey Motoki." Came the disheartened reply, "He's never going to come around."

Motoki smiled, "Usagi, you need to give him time."

"What if that's not it Motoki? I mean, he's so handsome, I'm sure he could have any
number of beautiful, sophisticated women!"

"Do you really think he'd go for some phony, pushy woman that would disrupt his
routine? Does he strike you as the type to jump into romance without a second thought?"

Usagi chuckled, "No, he strikes me as the type that folds his newspaper into tiny
little squares before throwing it away."

Motoki laughed.

Her face turned sad again, "I'm still crazy about him though. I'm heading towards the
L-word."

Motoki raised his eyebrows, "Just a little more time Usagi, I'll work on him somemore."


Meanwhile....

Mamoru headed home for a leisurely dinner and the comfort of studying before bed.
Everything was just as he'd left it--except the newspaper was in the fridge for some
reason?

But his mind was still troubled later by thoughts of unwanted romance. His life
was perfect as it was. Wasn't it?

He heated up some milk and eventually fell asleep.


The next day order returned. Roughly shoving all girl-related thoughts from his mind
Mamoru jogged, showered, dressed, had his coffee and paper and headed out exactly on
time.

~I feel so much better this morning. Silly Motoki putting those thoughts in my head.
I do NOT want romance in my life! Not at all!~

He remembered that dreadful redhead that chased him around school relentlessly....her
large lips with too much lipstick always aiming for him...and that laugh...he shuddered.
And the chaos that ensued! Everyone asking if they were a couple--if so for how long, if
not what happened--was he single? What did he think about love? His head spun just
remembering.

No, no, unless love could enter his life and remain there in a nice, calm, logical
manner, than it couldn't work. Not at all.

CRASH.

The familiar thud and resounding shriek of dismay could only belong to Odango.
He pulled her up and dusted her off--for once he could not blame the collision on her,
his mind hadn't been on walking. Was this why she always crashed into him?

He sighed in frustration. Even thinking about girls logically resulted in chaos!
Now here he was crashing into people just like the Odango!!!!

"Odango--"

"I know I know, I'm the most chaotic part of your routine...please, spare me."

"Actually, I think this time, the crash is my fault, my mind was elsewhere. I'm sorry."

Her eyes looked up startled and caught onto his a moment. For several startling seconds
his lungs simply ceased to function--was he allergic to this new coat perhaps? Was their
pollen in the air? Hmmm...how strange.

"Y-you're apologizing to me?"

"Well, yes, I wasn't looking where I was going."

She pressed a hand to his forehead, "Are you feeling alright today? Maybe you're
sick, you've seemed so distracted lately...are you ill?"

He stopped in startlement a moment. She noticed that? How did she do that? This was
a strange new power he did not realize girls possessed....was this how they lured in their
unsuspecting prey? But a glance to Usagi's innocent face convinced him otherwise--at least
in her case.

"No Usagi, I'm not ill. I'm quite healthy in fact."

Her eyes widened further, "W-what did you just call me?"

He stopped a moment, "...er...Odango?"

"No, you said Usagi..."

"Oh...."

An odd awkward silence ensued. He stared at her flushed cheeks and the strange spark
of--what was that?--in her eyes. It was then he realized his hands were still on her
small shoulders...small indeed...how did she avoid seriously damaging herself when she was
so slight and slender? He shook himself of these thoughts and released her.

"*cough* Well, I must be going, I'm very busy."

She smiled, "You're always busy Mamoru-baka." She teased, scrunching her face up
wryly.

He had to laugh at her rather adorable face. It was true, he was always busy and
yet, her crashes just fell into his routine. Ah well.

He left then for another day of school and work.

And later that afternoon found him ordering his usual coffee. He looked around, checked
his watch, and frowned.

"Where's Usagi?"

Motoki smiled, "She's late today I guess."

Mamoru's frown deepened. Motoki took the opportunity to grill him some more about
romance, "Mamoru, have you changed your mind about romance perhaps?"

"Hmm? What? No, of course not. Motoki-kun, really, you must give this up. I am
perfectly content without romance. I am far too busy, a girl could NEVER fit into my
routine...it's simply not possible.....why, she'd have to be so calm and orderly and
logical and--"

"What about Usagi?"

*SHOCK*

"WHAT?! What are you saying Motoki? That girl is chaos incarnate! She's--she's--"

"She's a part of your routine."

Mamoru was dumbstruck.

"You crash into her every morning at the same time, you see her at the arcade every
afternoon. She's already in your routine Mamoru."

"Motoki! You've lost your mind! A man would have to be out of his mind to fall for
Usagi! Why, they'd do nothing but catch her in their arms ALL the time Motoki! She's
always tripping or falling! And besides Motoki, some men might WANT a girl in their life
to have warm arms to come home too--but *I* am not one of those men!"

He was gesturing wildly and standing by now.

"I mean, just because she's sweet and beautiful, and irrationally giddy and-and---Oh no."

He stopped suddenly, eyes wide. Had all that just come out of his mouth?

Motoki smiled knowingly, "It's too late Mamoru, you've fallen for her."

His face drained of colour, "I have?" He peeped.

Motoki nodded chuckling. Mamoru sat down and put his head in his hands a moment, muttering
"Oh no, oh no no no..." pitifully. He looked up, "Now what do I do?"

Motoki grinned wickedly, "Well, maybe the next time you crash into her, you should kiss
her!"

Mamoru's head shot up in panic, "Oh no! No no no no! I couldn't! I wouldn't!"
He looked wildly around and grabbed his coat, racing for the door, "I can't run into
her!" He shrieked and flew out the door.

Motoki chuckled, someday his tall friend would realize that he too, was truly chaos
incarnate.

Mamoru meanwhile, in line with the folly of the Ancient Greeks trying to avoid their
fate, crashed roughly into his.

His arms shot out instinctively and caught the small girl. She didn't even shriek
this time, just managed, "Oof!" As he knocked the breath out of her.

He held her close enough to at last realize that she smelled quite nicely of vanilla
and did indeed feel soft and warm as the species were famously proclaimed to.

He drew in a ragged, undecisive breath. His wild eyes locked on hers.

"M-Mamoru?" She questioned softly, looking at where his arms still held her.

"Usagi," He said fearfully, "I never noticed..."

"Noticed what?" She asked after a dreadful pause, wondering if there was some hideous
birthmark or mole or bald spot on her head she had failed to notice herself.

He sucked in a breath, hands shaking as they gripped her, "Th-that you've become a part
of my routine.

Her eyes widened as she stared up at him, getting his meaning and fearing he didn't mean
it that way all at once.

He looked into her flushed face, his own white with fear, but in his dark blue eyes
she saw something not present before....something tender and remarkably akin to the
L-word.

She smiled and reached up her own shaky hands to grip the lapels of his heavy coat,
"Do you think you can fit me in for more than a crash a day?"

And then Mamoru did something he never ever made time for, the effect of which was quite
devistating on the previously un-jello-like quality of Usagi's legs, he smiled.

Then he leaned down with determination and kissed her, trying to be logical about it
and failing utterly till he pulled her in tight and simply lost himself in the sweet,
spiraling, dizzy chaos of loving his Odango and feeling her soft lips against his own.
Yes, this was definitely going to become an important part of the routine. Vital even.
In fact, the entire routine might have to be revamped and worked around having this
in it as much as possible. Yes...

Motoki would come to laugh good-naturedly watching the pair crash daily out front the arcade
windows, kiss each other fervantly and then hurry off in separate directions as though it
were the most natural, logical thing in the world.

And Usagi proved rather invaluable in recalling the more emotional details of their new
combined routine.

As Motoki would ask, "Plans for the weekend Mamoru?"

"Yes, we're going to see Usagi's cousin--what's her name again?"

"Mina dear."

"Yes, Mina..."


But the clincher was Mamoru's apartment. Glancing in now in the evenings one would find
a clutter of messy dinner dishes trailing to the living room where two pairs of sock
feet hung off the end of the couch as the pair cuddled and Mamoru read--one hand on his book,
the other rubbing Usagi's back as she lay contently.

Then she would get up for a drink and offer him one, open the fridge, frown strangely
and enquire, "Sweetheart?"

"Yes?"

"Why is there a newspaper in the fridge?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There ya go peeps, I wanted to mess around with mamoru's character a bit...heh heh.
I just love making him a stuff shirt and then messing up his routine.... @_@
Hope ya liked! :)