* All original twilight characters belong to S. Meyer. Any original characters are my own.

* Rated M for mature content – self harm, suicide attempts, some smut.

"I'm ready," I said quietly moving to the front seat of his car, silently saying goodbye, praying that with this move, that things would finally settle down in my life, that I could eventually get my happily ever after.

I had initially thought that I might be sad to leave Forks, leave the place that had become to be my home. But as we quickly wound down the drive and out to the highway I felt only a sense of relief, of closure.

The drive North to Canada and then across the prairie provinces was slow and boring but Edward and I used our time together wisely. We talked about the past, present and future. The places we had made mistakes and the current state of our relationship. We also set some guidelines for what it would be like in the future, me wanting to be clear with him that I was not to be controlled or dictated. We both agreed and the farther East we traveled the more at peace I felt.

The rest of the family had decided to drive slightly quicker than us to give us privacy during this journey arrived at our new home in Northern Ontario a full day before Edward and I would.

"Bella, Love?" he pulled me from my thoughts and I turned to look at him, as he reached across the console and grabbed my hand.

"Hmmm?" I questioned and smiled brightly at the electricity that continually ran through us whenever we touched, it was something that I would never tire of, especially now that I new what it felt like to live without it, without him.

"I just wanted you to know that you are the most amazing person I've ever met." The sincerity on his face as he spoke the words warmed my heart and I found that I slightly missed the blush that would have accompanied the compliment, had I still been human.

"I still love you Edward." It was the first time I had said the words in love and friendship and not animosity and frustration since he had come back and the surprise on his face told me that he noticed as well.

"I'll always love you Bella, and I swear that I will prove it to you even if it takes the rest of eternity to do so." he vowed and I couldn't resist pulling our joined hands up and to my lips, placing a soft kiss on his knuckles. Deep inside me I knew, I knew that he had made a mistake, but I was willing – no I wanted to forgive, to find peace with him.

The rest of the drive went by much quicker and I felt restored as we pulled up the long driveway to the house that was in the middle of nowhere.

"It's about time you two got here! Was Edward driving like a little old woman again?" he grabbed me up into a hug and I laughed as Edward growled at his brother playfully.

"Come on Bella, let me show you the house." Rosalie grabbed my hand and we met Alice halfway up he steps of the massive building that we would now be calling home. Rosalie and I had come a long way during the time of Edward's absence and when she had bitten me, when her venom began to flow through my veins as my creator, something had bound us together and she was now my sister as much as Alice was.

Alice and Rosalie pulled me through the house which had already been cleaned and set up with the things that we had brought from Forks and as they showed me around I understood why they had chosen to come here for our next home. Aside from the obvious fact that it was further away from humans for my newborn years, the house was massive and fitted the situations perfectly, divided into four wings off the central living space, each couple had their space. Carlisle and Esme's consisted of Carlisle's study, Esme's own smaller office and their bedroom. Alice and Jasper's was similarly set up, Jasper's library, followed by Alice's 'craft' room, and then their bedroom. Emmett's and Rosalie's was a little more fun, their bedroom taking up most of the wing with a small games room where Emmett's electronics and pool table were already set up.

Lastly there was mine and Edward's space which had been left mostly untouched, the way that Edward had last used it. There were again three rooms in this wing, the first being a music room which now held his piano from Forks as well as a soft leather couch and a variety of other musical instruments that I had no idea whether or not he could play. The next room was Edward's space, a windowless room with his stereo equipment and music completely covering one wall, another adorned with enormous book-shelves, lined with books. In the middle of the room was an antique desk still full of writing supplies, a large chair and two smaller chairs in front of it. A smaller leather couch was pressed against a final section of wall and in a way it reminded me of his room in Forks. When I got to the last room in the wing I was surprised to see that it wasn't really Edward's room at all but Esme had decorated it for me, placing my bed and other things from the Forks house in it for me. When I questioned her about this she explained that Edward had never used this room previously and he had wanted me to have a space to call my own.

When the tour was finally finished I wandered around for a bit, looking at the pictures that adorned one wall in the living room, older pictures of the family from before I had known them scattered about. I had been wrong when they had told me where we were going initially. For some reason I had pictured this as their hide-away, their place to be secluded from people, from life. I had pictured a tiny log home and a simplicity. But this was anything but.

This house wasn't a hideaway. In fact it was the opposite. Yes they were secluded from people but unlike in Forks there was a freedom here. Like it was a home that could truly reflect each person, not just their facades. Where pictures of the family could exist from throughout the decades, where my brothers and sisters, and mother and father and mate all felt free from the confines of their act.

Smiling I began to feel the pull of Edward moving out of our range and followed it outside to where he was walking with Carlisle around the perimeter of the property.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." I whispered when their talking ceased upon sensing me and a moment later Edward was by my side.

"Don't apologize Bella." Edward grabbed my hand and brought me back to where he had left Carlisle. "We were just experimenting, to see how far I could go from you before it felt painful." he explained and I sighed, thinking that I ruined their experiment.

"Don't Bella," Edward said, "I was already starting to feel a pull back to you, a shadow of an ache in my heart at being even this far." he admitted with a slightly worried expression.

"I was feeling it as well, that's why I came out." I said and Carlisle smiled.

Carlisle began running tests on us both later on that day, attempting to measure out the physical distance that we could be apart from one another before the pain became to much to bare. He used various factors to influence it, including the use of Jasper's gift and the distraction of blood in the area, but the answer was always the same and to be more than a hundred yards or so from each other always ended with one or both of us in excruciating pain.

Over the days and weeks that followed our move Edward and I began to heal further than we had been able to in Forks. He followed through on his promises to me and we were rarely apart, always honest and never controlling of the other. Instinctively our bodies knew that we were made for each other and as a result of our physical bond we were rarely parted aside from Carlisle's occasional experiment. But my mind took a lot longer to heal, often warring with myself when a memory would pop into my mind, a certain phrase or look causing a form of vampire flashback to nearly cause me to collapse. Edward's face would be pained when he would realize what had happened, that even now he was still hurting me through the memories of him leaving, of the pain it had caused.

Six months into our stay in Ontario Edward and I became intimate again, taking things slowly and allowing me to feel as though it truly was our first time and in a way, it was. This Edward was a completely different person from the one I had met as a broken teenager, this was the man that I loved and that had both saved me and put me through hell. This was a relationship that we had been forced to fight for before we could truly understand and enjoy it.

I had thought back when I was with Charlie that I had to survive that I had to somehow get out of his house – to save myself. But it wasn't me that had done this. It was us, a family. All of us working to understand this strange relationship that had been founded between Edward and I. Vampires like Rosalie challenging their primal beliefs to change me when I was nearly dead, for Esme and Carlisle to raise a daughter when biologically it was impossible, for Edward to accept me as his mate when he had long ago given up on ever finding one – let alone a human one – had really been what saved me. It was all of them. My mother. My father. My sisters. My brothers. My Edward. And a small part of it myself for never giving up on him fully.

It had taken time and patience, smiles and tears. And while the human chapter of my life had ended, this was truly only the beginning.

A/N: So this is it, the end of Saving Myself. Originally I had a few more things that I wanted to do with this and some ends that I wanted to tie up. I decided however to take out the parts that I had written because they get a little confusing and branch out a little again instead of closing things up like I wanted. So I took some parts and finished this story, deciding instead to begin a sequel to this because Edward and Bella do go through so much more that I had written. So I'm a few chapters into the sequel now but I probably won't post it until a few more of my stories are completed. So, I hope you've enjoyed this story, and if you didn't – well I'm sorry for that. Thank you for any and all kind reviews!