Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. It's way too epic for my simple brain… All I own is my weird humor…

Updated AN: Just realized there weren't any line breakes in this... So I fixed that! Otherwise nothing has changed:p


Chapter 1: An invitation

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Damn I'm late! Please please God make the bus late so I can get there in – nooooo I totally missed it! Naruto stopped and bent over, panting hard. He had woken up late this morning and even though he managed to do his morning routine in just under five minutes (and it usually took him an hour!) and ran all the way to the bus stop it seemed like God wasn't with him today. Not that that surprised him, he wasn't exactly what you would call a believer. Standing up straight again, he noticed that someone else looked like he had just missed the bus too. Shrugging at the sight of the vaguely familiar guy he went to take a seat on the bench. He might as well make himself comfortable if he was going to wait fifteen minutes for the next bus. He noticed that the other guy apparently came to the same conclusion, and for a couple of minutes they both sat there in silence. Until Naruto's stomach started grumbling. Very loudly. That went on for another minute until the guy beside him turned around, smirked at him, and said:

"Sounds like someone forgot to eat breakfast this morning".

"What the hell I overslept okay! And I didn't eat because I wanted to make it to the bus on time! Which I obviously didn't…" Naruto answered, finding this guy just a bit too smug for someone who had also missed the bus.

"Hn" the other black-haired boy responded and took something from inside his bag, and started eating it.

"HOW CAN YOU JUST START EATING A SANDWICH RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME WHEN I'M SUPERHUNGRY?! Naruto yelled. In the other boy's ear. Which almost made him fall over, but at the last second he gripped the back of the bench and managed to stay upright.

"FINE! Take it! Just don't ever yell in my ear like that again!" he answered while rubbing his ear. He would have pouted too, but he was an Uchiha and Uchihas don't pout. So of course he didn't.

Naruto contemplated about whether or not to snicker at the pout he could see forming on the raven's mouth, but decided against it since he was so hungry and this sandwich looked awesome. When he had finished it (which didn't take long) he looked at the other boy a little bit closer. He could have sworn he'd seen the guy before…

"Have I seen you before?" he asked, mostly because he was bored and it was still seven minutes until the bus would arrive.

"Hn, dobe, we have Math together" was the reply.

"Oh yeeeah…"

While Naruto racked his brain to remember the name of the, actually not half-bad looking guy next to him, all said not half-bad looking guy could think was OMG there's actually someone in my school who doesn't recognize me! I know he's an idiot but whatever!

"Ah! I remember! You're the guy just before me on the class list; I should have remembered when you said "Hn"… Uchiha Sasuke right?"

"Hn" answered Sasuke.

"Haha that's really funny. Hey but if you're Sasuke then you're the one all the girls in school are totally crushing on! So why don't you have a girlfriend?"

Sasuke stared at him. What is wrong with this guy? But instead of saying that, he found himself answering:

"I don't like girls."

A moment of silence passed between them. While Naruto was silent only because he was distracted by an ant trying to crawl up his arm, Sasuke was having a moment of panic. That definitely did not show on the outside. Him being an Uchiha and all.

Shit did I just tell him that I'm gay? Did I just tell Uzumaki Naruto, of all people, that I swing the other way? This is the freaking best friend of all the stupid girls in school! They're going to kill me and then try to make me straight! I hate myself! The fact that Naruto was also very hot and that he used to spend a lot of time during Math checking him out held absolutely no relevance. None at all.

"Ok cool. You should have just told them and maybe they would leave you alone."

Sasuke gave Naruto a look that said "Leave me alone? In what universe?"

"Ok so maybe they won't leave you alone. But – hey! I just had an awesome idea! If you're gay too then you can come with me to this awesomesauce club I've heard of! I mean – he blushed a little – you know, 'cause none of my other friends are gay so they don't wanna come and…" he trailed off, noticing the look of absolute shock on Sasuke's face. He laughed sheepishly and put his hand behind his head and said:

"Haha that sounded a bit weird, I mean we don't even know each other and then you tell me you're gay and I invite you to a gay club! That's a crazy morning even for me, and trust me my mornings can be totally crazy!"

"No, it's fine." Sasuke responded slowly, like it was all a dream (and it sure felt like one), "I'll go."

Now it was Naruto's turn to widen his eyes, but he soon replaced it with his signature grin (the one that would have made all the girls' hearts throb if they hadn't been too busy with Sasuke to notice) and Sasuke wondered vaguely if this was how his fangirls felt when he sometimes slipped and accidentally looked at one of them without trying to kill her with his glare.

At that point, the bus decided to show up (failing to notice how it could hardly have been seven minutes already, but I guess buses are like that sometimes) and they got on, with some minor awkward situations about who should get on first and where they should sit, but they passed the journey with Naruto chatting away happily about something stupid that some stupid person had done. Obviously Sasuke didn't care about the story, but he did care that Naruto was actually talking to him, and didn't he say something about how his other friends – other being the clue here – weren't gay, which just might place Sasuke under the friend category. Doing a very un-Sasuke-like victory dance in his head he continued to "Hn" and nod his head in the right places until they arrived at school. And then it hit him full force – Wait what?! Doesn't this make Naruto totally gay too? His inner self did a mental facepalm at this.

During normal days, Naruto was extremely happy to get off the bus, because it meant he would soon be seeing all his friends again, and although he might seem like a slacker sometimes he had no problem acing his classes. Which meant no Monday depression on his part (yees it's Monday today!). But for some reason today he wouldn't have minded if the trip took ten more minutes. Or fifty. Because damn was that Sasuke-guy hawt! He could see why all the girls liked him. The personality could use some help but somehow gloomy kind of suited him. Bringing his erratic thoughts back to reality, he realized that they were already inside the school, and since he couldn't remember Sasuke having his locker in the vicinity of his own, he stopped where the corridor broke into two.

"So, my locker's that way" he said, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder into the corridor to the right.

"Mine's the other way" said Sasuke.

"Okay" Naruto shuffled a little, nervous and silently cursing himself for the nerves hitting him now of all times when he usually had no trouble with them.

"Yeah" Sasuke stood with his hands in his pockets, his usual cool stance. Naruto didn't have to know it was to keep his hands from visibly shaking. Seeing as Naruto seemed to have a little trouble talking at the moment, he continued:

"So, the club."

"Ohyeahhow'boutsaturday?" Stop sounding like a nervous schoolgirl going on her first date! "I mean, if you want to go…" Please let him say yes! Wait what? You're only asking him because you wanna go to the club! Damn him for turning smexy on me!

"Saturday's fine with me." His phone number! Come on Sasuke, it's completely normal to ask about it in this situation! But before they had time to say anything else, someone came running at high speed, grabbing Naruto by the arm and dragging him down the right corridor.

"Come on Naruto, we've gotta hurry or we'll be late for class!" Naruto looked at the grinning Kiba and almost – but only almost because Kiba really was a great friend – wished he'd fallen on some sharp object on his way to school thus being unable to interrupt. As it was now, Naruto grudgingly accepted that he probably wouldn't get to see Sasuke until next Math. Which was on Wednesday. Damn.

Sasuke, on the other hand, stared in disbelief as Naruto was disappearing, pulled by something that didn't have a name yet and would therefore be referred to as a pain in the ass. He scowled after them for a short while before sighing and heading for his locker. This was going to be a long week.

~Line breaker~

Sitting in class, Sasuke allowed his mind to wander. Needless to say, this was very out of character. He was usually busy scribbling down notes or answering the teacher's questions, but for some reason he couldn't get that grinning blond out of his head. I need to stop getting ideas about this. We're only going clubbing because we both happen to be gay and therefore have to check out this awesomesau- I mean interesting- club and NOT because he likes me. I mean what are the chances he'd like me anyway? Well, if a couple hundred rabid fangirls were any indication… NO! Bad Sasuke! You're not even friends yet! Yet…

And while Sasuke was busy making evil plans Naruto had a hard time trying to explain to his friends why Kiba had found him talking to Uchiha Sasuke of all people, and being late to class with said highly suspicious guy, and everything seemed to smell fishy to them no matter how much he tried to convince them that they had 'just been talking 'cause they missed the bus'.

"Why would Sasuke be on that bus anyway? He totally lives on the other side of town!" came Sakura's unbelieving voice in a loud whisper. Almost loud enough to be heard by the teacher, and you Did Not want to be caught doing something else while in Orochimaru's class. That would mean some severe punishing, the likely-to-leave-huge-mental-scars kind of punishing.

"Sakura we'll talk later ok!" Naruto responded out of the corner of his mouth while keeping an eye on Orochimaru. He'd heard of some guy coming back from the teacher's office unable to speak for two months. Which would definitely be a problem seeing as Saturday was less than a week away. Catching him daydreaming, Sakura kicked his leg and, satisfied with the hurt look in his eyes, concentrated on the lesson instead. She knew exactly how to wring every last bit of juicy information out of her oh so naïve little friend, and she could wait an hour.

When they finally got out of Science Naruto attempted to make a quick exit, but Sakura was too fast for him. Damn she's like a ninja! Ok Naruto you can do this! Don't tell her anything!

"Soo… spill it Naruto!" Sakura accompanied her demand with a fanatic glare that only a rabid fangirl wanting information could manage to pull without being sent to a mental hospital. Rabid fangirlism for some weird reason not labeled a mental disease yet. But it was probably just a question of time.

"Gaah don't hurt me! I know nothing!" Naruto closed his eyes to try and get away from Sakura's menacing face inches from his. A little further down the corridor stood Lee with tears in his eyes, admiring the youthful way in which Naruto interacted with his beloved Sakura-chan, wishing they could switch places. Strangely enough Naruto wished the exact same thing. And he almost kissed Kiba when he came to his rescue.

"Oh come on Sakura, if that bastard had actually been socializing with Naruto pigs would have been flying around by now wiggling their tails at us, and I can't really see them, can you?"

Sakura gave him a dark look and turned back to Naruto. "Don't think you're off the hook just because we have different classes now" she said, and with one final dark look at Kiba she stalked off. Most likely wanting to find Ino and go through possible likely and unlikely reasons for Sasuke to talk to Naruto with her. 'Cause it couldn't just be because Sasuke wanted to talk to him. No, that was ridiculous.

~Line breaker~

When it was time for lunch, Naruto got a little nervous again. Reason being that Sakura and her fellow fangirls always spent lunch together with Sasuke, happily chatting with him and completely ignoring the look of silent despair in his face, and what if he actually told them about Saturday? The answer to that question was that Naruto would be a dead man for turning Sasuke gay. No consideration taken to the fact that Sasuke just might have been gay before he talked to Naruto. Sitting down between Kiba and Shikamaru, he kept casting worried glances in the direction of Sakura and Sasuke waiting for her to yell his name in absolute fury. Not that Sakura wouldn't forgive him afterwards – they were friends since like forever after all – but before forgiving came hurting.

Noticing how Naruto seemed unable to concentrate on his food, which usually meant something was up, Kiba waved a hand in front of his fidgeting friend.

"Hey Naruto, what's up? Did that Sasuke-guy do something to you this morning or what? 'Cause if he did I'll smack his sorry little ass till he's just as sorry himself!"

"Geez Kiba, doing that would just make a horde of rabid girls try to kill you, and that would be really troublesome" (Guess who said that?:p)

"Maybe that would make them leave Sasuke alone for a moment…"

Kiba and Shikamaru stared hard at Naruto.

"Oh no he didn't!"

Shikamaru shook his head. "Oh yes he totally did".

"What? I didn't do anything! Why does everybody always assume I'm the one who did it?"

"Because you're the only guy stupid enough to fall in love with another guy who's got a million fangirls, that's why" came Shikamaru's bored reply. But Naruto didn't hear him; he was too busy noticing how Sasuke rose from his seat and headed over in his direction. OMG is he actually coming this way? Because the exit is totally the other way! What do I do? What do I-

"Hi Naruto, can I sit here?"

Naruto just stared at him. Kiba snorted at his friend's dumbstruck expression and waved Sasuke towards the empty seat opposite Naruto. When Sai came back from fetching more food he would probably raise his eyebrows at the now occupied seat, but hey he'd live.

"But whaddabout your fangirls?" Naruto asked him once he regained consciousness.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him. "I can go back to them if you're worried" he said, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"No! I mean, ahaha I was just kidding!" Shit Naruto calm down! He searched for something to say, but Kiba was faster.

"No really, Naruto has a point? What about your fangirls? Don't you think they'll get mad at Naruto for stealing your attention like this?"

Sasuke's eyes widened for a moment before he muttered darkly "They'd better not" and scowled down at his potatoes, as if they were made of an extra stupid kind of girl.

"And what about you Naruto, can you handle the competition?" Kiba continued.

Naruto almost choked at that comment. Shikamaru had to hit him in the back for at least a minute before he could answer, and by that time Sasuke's obviously non-existent blush had disappeared. This is going to be fun! Kiba thought to himself, wondering how far he could push them before one of them snapped. Unfortunately he didn't get to find out, because two hundred fangirls had zoomed in on the little group and were now trying to burn holes through Sasuke's abductors with their laser beam eyes. Naruto squirmed.

"Suddenly I'm not so hungry anymore" he mumbled to himself and tried to shrink down into something invisible. Sasuke however remained unaffected, the laser beam eyes not directed at him after all.


OMG! The first chapter is up! What do you think? Haha but I don't expect everyone to review, I'm the kind of person who doesn't know what to write in reviews so I don't really… I'll start I promise! Anyway if you find any grammar mistakes, please let me know. It's been kind of beta'd by my friend and little sister but… And also, the M-rating is for the last chapter:)