Chapter Seven

Conner watched the circles of his cereal bounce in his milk like small little lifelines trying to keep their head above water but always succumbing to the pull until they drowned below. He hated soggy cereal.

"Conner?" He put his spoon down, looking over at the front door where his father had just put down his suitcase and untied his tie. He started sliding quietly off his seat, hoping to reach the back door before his father realized he was home. He had just had the best night of his life with a girl he adored and for once enjoyed a school event because of her. He was still on his euphoria trip and he didn't want it to end, not yet.

"Conner are you there?" His father asked sternly. Conner backed away, grabbing the handle of the door, trying to turn it without making a sound all the while his father's steps grew closer, sounding more menacing each time the leather soles touched the hardwood floor.

"There you are." He was a few seconds too late, his hand off the door, looking up at his father with a fake warmness, wishing more than anything he could fly to Megan's dorm and listen to her talk about colors and cakes. Even if it wasn't ideal, it was with her and better still, it was away from his father.

"Sorry dad, I was outside, came in when I heard you calling me." Conner lied with ease; Clark was the honest Abe of the family but Conner picked up the art of deception from years of breaking things out of tantrums.

"How's the school year so far?" Lex, Conner's father, had been away on a business meeting; technically the home in Gotham wasn't even his primary home but one of many. He was rarely in any of his homes, usually off in another country using that silver tongue of his to get a deal with another company.

"It's pretty good, Knights are undefeated." He knew that would be the first thing his father wanted to hear, that and his grades…

Lex nodded, not showing even the slightest glint of happiness. He pulled out a glass and his bottle of scotch, taking off the lid and rubbing the top gingerly. Conner watched his father's ritual, he always played with his drinks, the longer he played the more he was thinking and thus more than three minutes of running his hands over the bottle meant deep thought. Conner swallowed hard, afraid of what his father would say next. He needed to distract him; the first thing that came to mind was Megan, but there was no way in hell he'd let his father know about her. This first thing Lex would do is investigate her past, see if her "blood" was fitting for his son. His father was never pleased with anyone, and with Megan being such a sweet, sensitive girl, Lex would surely tear her apart.

Think Conner… what else…

"I was thinking about joining another club." He said as his mind tried to recall the club list that had been posted on the bulletin board somewhere in the hall. Something about baking, dance… robotics was one…

"What club?" Lex said putting the bottle down, his voice reverberated the full arrogance of an aristocrat.

"Robotics," Conner replied trying to sound serious. His father wanted him to be an engineer at Stanford, paying for most of his schooling with a football scholarship. It was the plan Conner was branded with the moment he came out of the womb, the plan his father had for him and expected to be carried out.

"Why did you wait until your junior year to join?" His father began to pour the alcohol into the glass, sharpened with diamond tendrils. There was a sinister way his father could slip the liquid in without so much as spilling a drop and yet holding the glass in mid air, turning it in his hand like a sorcerer casting a spell. He stepped back with his eyes on his son, watching for mannerisms like a quake in the hand, a quiver in the lip, anything to indicate weakness. Lex's hands reached for the whiskey, he loved experimenting with drinks and watching the shades change, especially with Scotch and Whiskey, the orange shifting to a deep red, like blood congealing fresh off a wound, swooshing around and around in the clear glass, moving in methodically timed circles.

Conner observed every detail of this, knowing his father's actions always encompassed precision and a careful eye for detail. Nothing he did was cursory, nor would he allow his sons to pay scant attention to their own work, otherwise they'd pick up bad habits such as… failure…

"Figured anytime to join is better than never," Conner replied, trying to quell the growing urge to lash out at his father with a string of sentences colored in profanity.

Lex held his concoction to his lips, taking simmered sips as he watched Conner struggle to remain calm; he enjoyed watching his son stifle temptation for in his mind it built character.

"Very well then. There's a showcase at the end of the semester. I expect to be impressed." With that, Lex left the room. Conner mumbled all the word he held back, his fingers scratching the counter.

A loud crashing sound was heard seconds later, without being conscious of it, Conner had grabbed the bottle and thrown it to the opposite end of the room where it hit the frame of a painting from one of his father's travels, worth thousands more than Conner.

—-

Artemis had been scrutinizing over her reflection in the side of the luminous, glossy red hue glistening off the motorcycle like a gem in a cave. The color and the features of her face were a stark contrast; one beautiful, unbroken, not even a scratch, and the other a clutter of confusion as to whether the asymmetrical lines that made up her face were attractive. It was one of those times when she wondered if she was genuinely pretty. She wasn't the superficial type having been more concerned with comfortable shoes over fashionable ones and the like for her appearance but sometimes she wondered what people saw when they looked at her. Did they just see another plain Jane in need of an attitude adjustment, or did they see something more, a real human being behind the snarky remarks?

Her dark eyes glowered in what seemed like anger but in the next second they softened until they were expressionless, empty, blank. She wondered if they ever held much of anything in them, except for the darkening hatred hidden in the recess of her thoughts.

She liked to keep things to herself, especially the private details of her past that no spoiled peer at the academy ever suffered, most of whom were nestled safely atop the social hierarchy.

"Care to help me with an oil change or are you just going to stare at yourself?" a voice carrying a tone of amusement asked Artemis.

Artemis practically pirouetted to see who had startled, her composure hanging on by a string.

"Yeah I'll be there in a-" she paused, studying the face of the customer that had just entered the shop. She wanted to be sure it was him, not just some look alike before she went ahead and unleashed hell on him like a female fury, broken free from the deepest, darkest, fiery catacombs of hell. After he gave her a cool, mocking grin she knew.

"Cam, what the hell are you doing, you're can't be within one hundred feet of me, remember?" she said, ending with a snarl. She lowered her voice as a familiar whistle could be heard from the store's steps; Ollie entered the room, winking at her before taking notice of Cameron, also known as the boy who gave Artemis months of grief with his inability to keep it in his pants.

"What the mother-"

"Ollie I got this. What the motherfu-"

"Hey calm down babe, I'm just here for an oil change." Internally, Cam was debating over who he should inch closer to, the tiny blonde whose bark wasn't nearly as bad as her bite or the six foot tall weight lifter frowning at him.

"Don't you even dare call me that!" she cried, outraged. Ollie extended his hand, meant to touch her shoulder and calm her down but she sensed the gesture when the air changed near her ear. Years of watching out for muggers and rapists on the streets of Gotham heightened her instincts and she smacked Ollie's hand down without even looking. Ollie took this is a cue to leave; when Artemis was in this state there was no way of talking to her rationally. He gave one last death glare to Cam and then disappeared into the back room.

"Sorry, sorry. Honestly. You know I wouldn't want to get on your bad side." He raised his hands like white flags waving in a field of resignation. Artemis let out a grunt, and nodded. She wasn't in the mood to fight with him, a rarity of a mood to be in.

It was the kiss… the kiss that had her thinking what about her could be desired, loved or was it nothing more than hormonal tension or a mixture of both extremes to create the very thought of such a kiss, his lips to hers… the kiss that had yet to be given a meaning.

Were we just two vulnerable kids having a moment of life where we throw out what makes sense and let our feelings lead us to the greater moments… or the stupider ones…

Cameron snapped his fingers in front of Artemis's face; her eyes were saturated with possibilities visible in the small gleam on the edges, like a forlorn girl lost in Wonderland.

"What do you want Cam?" Artemis wanted to keep the conversation short, not so much for the sake of her work but rather she needed time alone to think.

Little did she know the boy preoccupying her thoughts was just outside the shop, picking at the lose skin on his fingers and pacing around the bushes trying to think of what to say. The kiss was days ago and since then it was a whirlwind of sweeten glances, light hand touching and a massive rush of ecstasy. He wasn't looking for a romance like this, but he was enjoying it, and that was terrifying him. It only got worse over the past two days when Artemis was avoiding him.

At first he thought it was paranoia, the way she would be a few feet away one second and then gone the next, like a leaf blown away by the wind. The texts with one word answers, and then nothing at all.

Is it the age difference? Or maybe being the school's mathlete turned her off.

"I was hoping I'd see Roy around here… he owes me… something. You happen to run into him lately? You know, since your-"

She narrowed her eyes, "Don't say it." Dick has finally drawn up enough courage to walk through the door, from his peripheral vision he could see her and his lips gave way to a faint smile. He then saw the boy she was with along with green spots. Against his better judgment, he quietly tip-toed to her, his back against the wall as if he were a spy in a poorly made action movie.

"Sorry, didn't know it was a taboo to talk about the baby." Dick lost his footing; the salvia slipping down the wrong tube was a catalyst to the rest of his motions from tripping over nothing and making coughing noises from the air that ceased to reach his brain.

Baby?

"Is someone there?" Dick crawled to the doorway as Artemis stepped into the main room, looking for the customer she thought she'd heard. There were bottles of car paint and things of the like on shelves dusting away and the light of the setting sun on cars flickering onto the metal vents of the room, but no person in sight.

"Artemis, you really aren't going to-" She held up her hand, folding one finger down at a time, if she reached the profane sign he knew a punch would follow. He pulled back, anticipating her other hand to glide up and bash through his skin. The girl could break through bones if one were to hit the right buttons, and Cam had done that many times over with insensitive statements about her father, her sister and the occasional night out with another girl instead of meeting Artemis for their planned date. Those were his dark days, shooting up heroin watching the veins on his arms thicken and his body fat shrink until he could pick at the saggy yellow skin against his bones. How Artemis put up with him for song long was beyond him. Despite her brand of charm, the girl was a saint for lasting so long, for trying to save him. He had come with the hopes of changing Roy too, the guy had relapsed and with rumors flying about Jade's pregnancy…

"Cam, the baby isn't any of your concern, got it? Now get out before I sic Ollie on you."

"Please babe, I'm way more afraid you," she bore into him and he backed further away, "but I get it… if you see Roy tell him I'm looking for him."

He turned to leave, throwing back one last glance at Artemis before heading out. His blue eyes shone with complete sincerity, like the color of the ocean as the sun began to disappear. "I really do care about you, and I know I put you through a lot of crap, I'm not looking for forgiveness, just tolerance?" He didn't give her a chance to reply, the light of the sun moved from the vents to his hair as he opened the door, it made him look pure, innocent and as the door shut the light was gone.

"Damn it Cam." Artemis walked to the door, touching the glass. He was her first boyfriend, her first kiss, a lot of firsts and one ending. When he cheated on her, she wasn't going to have it, that's what she told herself and when he showed up to her shabby apartment from his latest trip off of LSD she took pleasure from kicking him down the stairs as he called her plenty of curse names. But when she found him on the street slumped over a few homeless people, brown paper bag in one hand and a knife in the other, she'd pull his shoulder over her own and carry him to the closest clinic.

Her attention turned to the red window chime dangling outside. Before she could direct her thoughts somewhere else, she saw Wally in her mind, standing there just as much of an ass as Cam.

"There's a parallel." She whispered. She had helped Wally to the nurse's room…

Maybe that's how it all started… maybe that's what set me off.

There, Wally was acting like a jerk and broken, not something extreme as overdosing but subconsciously her body told her to run away because he had too many similarities to her ex and for that to be true, she had to have developed feelings for him to be scared off.

Hell no.

Artemis exhaled heavily, hoping to expel any possible romantic feelings she might have for the freckled face d-bag, and walked back to the red motorcycle knowing full well she'd be pondering attraction, both her own and any attraction she ever had for Cam, Dick and…

"Nope, not gonna say it."

Dick lifted his head up from the stacked tires, looking up to see if the coast was clear. Was it possible Artemis had been pregnant and with someone like this "Cam" character? It was obvious they had a history and what with him being part of her past, he doubted Artemis would offer that information willingly.

"I doubt she'd let the heat of the moment get to her." Dick leaned against the wall with his hand on his chin, he was thinking logical and let the pathos out of the situation but it lasted for less than a second because his next thought was, "…Did I just imagine Artemis having…oh my" Dick closed his eyes to block the image but it only worsened the situation by adding details, fine tuned details.

"Crap… well…" Dick chuckled; he was a boy after all.

But back to the matter at hand, I need to do some serious research…

Dick was a nosy little rascal and when mystery arose, especially ones about Artemis, he couldn't help himself but find out the truth.

I promised I wouldn't ask, I didn't say anything about investigating.

—-

The school's database of all the students was the perfect place to start his search of Artemis's past. They had detailed records on all who attended, from their medical records, to background checks of their parents.

The only problem was the breaking and entering aspect of his little mission. He could bypass the mainframe by connecting to the network but he needed the teacher's security code for access. Dick needed to do things the hard way, he needed to get in and get through the network directly.

He knew the perfect candidates to employ as his cohorts for the whole trespassing phase of his plan.

Dick started with the person least likely to resist joining him- Barbara Gordon.

He'd arrived at her home around eleven at night wearing all stealthy black clothing, perfect for sneaking over fences such as the one surrounding Babs's backyard. This was the safest route to take given that her father was the commissioner of Gotham and a grade A hardcore cop. Being caught meant staring down the barrel of a gun as he frantically tried to come up with a good explanation for trespassing and climbing up to his daughter's bedroom. At best, he'd be arrested and his one phone would be to Bruce who'd rather let him stay a night in jail just for the fun of it.

He kept to the shadows as he searched for the right window. Babs's window was the one with the bright yellow curtains, as thin as gossamer… or so he recalled from his last visit. It had been quite some time and he couldn't exactly remember all the details of her room. There had been no reason to memorize the color of curtains, he barely remembered the color of her home.

Damn details…

He shuddered remembering his all too detailed image of Artemis earlier.

I will never get that out of my head… hmm.

All those years ago…think Dick think….It was for a science project in the sixth grade, and her dad watched them the whole time, cleaning his gun at the dining room table. Dick was sure he flashed his gun multiple times as a warning, if worded it would have been something like "touch her, you die, look at her, you die, breathe, you die." It was pretty terrifying for a little eleven year old.

Dick decided the best thing to do was hide in the bushes just in case her dad unexpectedly woke up for a midnight snack and checked outside the windows.

Dick: Babs I need you for a mission, you in?

A cool breeze rustled the prickling leaves of the bush; Dick felt it against his skin, shivering although the September air was still warm.

Barbara: Depends. What kind of "mission" are you talking about?

Dick: Well you'll just have to come out here and see, won't you?

Barbara: I don't like games Wonder Boy, give me the details or else I'm going to bed.

Dick cackled when he read the word "details" it would forever be a euphemism for a sexual innuendo.

Dick: It's not my secret Babs.

He knew that's all she needed to know. Babs wasn't one to pry, and if it was someone else's business she'd drop it without debate.

Barbara: When and where?

Dick: I'm right outside, wear stealth clothes, we need to get Tim first and then to the academy.

Babs reread the last text, taking note that Dick was recruiting a ten year old for one of his nightly escapades.

Barbara: Give me 5 minutes.

Babs slipped off her nightgown, moving away from the window just in case Wonder Boy was watching. It was certainly a possibility now that he had turned thirteen, soon to be fourteen. From her dresser she took out a black cami and dark jeans.

Stealth, he thinks we're ninjas.

The white moonlight flooded into her room like an apparition in a dream, creating pale angel's wings against her wall. She pulled the curtains apart and surveyed her backyard, searching for a good landing spot. She unlocked the window and pulled it up, carefully taking out the screen and breathing in the fresh outdoor air to fuel her adrenaline for the jump she was about to undertake.

She leapt out the window nimbly, keeping her hand on the wall as she slid down to land on the soft ground, permeated by the rainfall from earlier.

Dick: Where are you?

"Behind you." Dick tensed; hoping Babs wouldn't notice how white his skin had gone when she whispered those two words into his ear.

"Uh, ok… um let's go." Dick stepped away from Babs carefully out of fear she'd jump at him and scare the crap out of him… again.

Babs smirked, patting his head gently as he winced.

"Lead the way."

—-

When Dick rang the doorbell to the Drake's house, Mr. Drake had opened to door, happy to invite Dick in, not even questioning his intentions. He knew how difficult it was to get Tim to socialize with other human beings and despite it being past Tim's bedtime he wasn't about to turn away a chance for Tim to interact with people.

The house was warmly lit, the scent of snickerdoodles and vanilla frosting coated the air and made Dick's stomach growl.

"We just need to borrow Tim for a bit," Babs said with her best girl scout voice, "it's for a project and-"

"Say no more! He's in his room, as always." Tim's father, happy someone outside the internet wanted to talk to his son.

Dick and Babs dashed up the stairs, practically throwing the door open in hopes of scaring Tim senseless. Rather than finding him in front of his computer doing math equations, the boy sat with his deskchair outwards, listening to someone over the phone, an innocent grin on his lips.

"Tim are you talking to your girlfriend?" Dick teased as he reached for the phone.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Tim screamed, pulling the phone behind him only to have it grabbed by Babs.

"Stephanie sweetie, it's past your bedtime."

"Babs why are you in Tim's room?" Stephanie asked sweetly, with a tinge of jealousy in her voice at the very notion of her "big sister" being alone with the boy she happened to like quite a bit.

It amused Barbara that the little ten year old would think that a high schooler would be up to shenanigans with a fifth grader at ten o'clock at night. If anything, the likely option would be that Babs was babysitting little Timmy.

"Okay time to go!" Dick exclaimed, a little too cheerfully. Before Tim could react, Dick scooped him, bolted out of the room and down the stairs, past Mrs. Drake who was still baking, Mr. Drake who was reading, and right out the front door as Babs followed suit, hanging up the phone with a "I'll explain it later Waffle Overlord".

"They're wonderful kids, aren't they? Look how much fun Timmy has with his Big Brother," Mr. Drake said to his wife, smiling.

Both of them missed Tim's horrified expression from being touched.

—-

Dick had a copy of the key to the back door of the main building he'd swiped from Bruce's office. After donating an extensive amount of money to Gotham Academy that ultimately lead to three new departments, the school was more than happy to make a master key for the Wayne family.

"Why am I even here?" Tim asked in a small voice as the two older kids dragged him into the hallway. The lights in the school were all on, because the custodians cleaned the school every night. One false move and the three of them would be reported for trespassing and expelled for sure. Although Tim would only get a slap on the wrist being as young as he was.

"BUT IT'LL GO ON MY PERMANENT RECORD." He often said whenever Dick asked Tim to join him on of his endeavors.

"Shh," Barbara shushed him as she pulled him into another hallway where there was a blind spot for the cameras.

They reached the headmaster's office quickly, using Dick and Barbara's memories from all the times they'd been there to collect awards. It was hilarious to think of the appalled expression that would be the headmaster's face if she ever found out two of her star freshmen had broken into her office.

"Can you pick the lock?" Dick asked Barbara, taking over watch of Tim who was so scared he actually started shaking.

"Can I?" Barbara smirked, pulling bobby pins out of her hair, "One of the first things my dad taught me about criminal justice… sometimes you have to think like the criminal."

As Dick stood watch outside the door with Tim trembling near him, Babs worked on the lock, trying to maneuver the tip to just the right spot until she heard… click.

"We're in," she announced, pushing the door open.

"Nice Babs. You stand watch, I need Tim to help me access the computer."

Tim continued to shake as he stepped up to the large monitor that was the headmaster's computer. He made sure all the sound was off before pushing the power button. The screen lit up and the computer started, sending a low hum from the wires igniting signals like nerves firing warning messages to the brain. Tim could hear various warnings in his head as he knew what he was doing was illegal and the idea of getting caught increased the sweat under his pits and hands.

The initial startup of the computer always led to the login screen, which would be the most difficult part of this task since the computer asked for both the username and the password.

"All the school's usernames are formatted last name, first initial if that helps," Barbara offered from her post at the door.

Tim looked at Dick, who replied, "Amanda Waller. So it's WallerA. Don't ask me what the password would be though. I have no idea."

Tim plugged his compact computer in with a USB cord and booted it up. He opened up a programming window and pulled up an MD5 algorithm, cutting it into a quarter to give a speed boost as it cracked the password.

"The wireless encryption level is 64 bits 10 hex digits…" Tim said as he scanned the lines of code the computer generated. It finally came to a stop with four different possible passwords.

He carefully entered each one into the password box, but it wasn't until the third passcode that he actually gained access.

The desktop opened up and Tim tried to open a file.

"It's file vaulted," he said, turning to look up at Dick.

"You telling me you can't unlock it?"

"No."

Tim opened up the Cygwin program, typing commands in a *nix terminal as he tried to disable the file vault.

"I don't think you know enough Python for this. PHP won't work on this one," Dick said, taking over control of the keyboard. Tim moved over and watched as Dick did his work. One day, he would be just as good as him, maybe even better.

"Hey Dick? I'd suggest you shut off the ICMP protocol real quick before proceeding. Don't want the computer registering your activity for Ms. Waller to find when she comes back," Barbara suggested as she peered out the window, "And you might want to hurry up with this."

His fingers flew across the keyboard as he typed furiously, trying to speed up the process by cutting down the algorithms a little bit. His extensive knowledge in math that came from both a natural proclivity to it as well as the years of math camp aided him immensely.

"Someone's headed this way," Barbara warned.

Dick stuck the USB drive into the computer and opened up the student database program. He typed "Artemis Crock" in the search bar and found her file, dragging it into the little icon that was his USB.

"Artemis? Why are you looking up her files?" Tim asked with his head touching Dick's, his voice barely audible despite the heavy silence.

The files started to transfer, but more slowly than he'd like and Tim's questions weren't easing the growing panic.

"We need to hide, now!" Barbara hissed.

The door burst open, by then, Dick had turned off the monitor and pulled Tim under the desk with him. Barbara had run over towards the desk and ducked under right before someone stepped into the room. Dick watched the USB drive from under the table and tried to keep his breathing steady while simultaneously trying to keep Tim, who at that moment was hyperventilating, from having an anxiety attack and fainting.

This was not worth it, definitely not worth it.

Endangering his reputation along with Babs and Tim's wasn't worth finding out if Artemis was pregnant, the whole thing had escalated to insanity. Originally, Dick viewed his little plan as a night out doing what he does best with his friends, a reason to play with computers, test out Tim's skills and see if it were really possible to break into the headmaster's computer which he had thought of as a cake walk.

Oh God I've become an adrenaline junkie like Wally.

He could feel his heart beating against his ribs as the sound of a vital organ meeting bone pounded frenziedly in his ear. He felt like a petrified elephant with each step inching closer to the desk until… the steps started retreating.

Babs was about to crawl out, but Dick signaled her to stay under the desk with Tim. If someone was going to check the coast, it would be him. He wasn't letting Babs and Tim get in trouble for a mess he dragged them into.

But no one was there, and when he turned on the monitor, the file transfer was complete. Now they just had to get out of the school.

—-

Wendy's mouth moved to the lyrics blaring from her headphones, she's spent the whole afternoon studying for a test but with her phone continuously vibrating with texts from Tommy she couldn't stop herself from reading them and having a giggle fit over his horrible grammar. The fact he wrote about his love for her redeemed him but it also made her swoon enough to stop and daydream about their future life, a very bad thing for someone who was supposed to be studying.

"You're still on that chapter?" Megan mused. She had been working on a sewing project, anxiously awaiting a text from Conner about what movie to see tonight.

"Young love always prevails over calculus!" Wendy exclaimed. Megan smirked, putting the needle next to the strings, careful not to let it tangle.

"That's a beautiful thought Wendy but think of it like this," Megan pitched her voice higher to sound like a child, "if you fail your test your parents might kill you, and Tommy would be so sad." Wendy laughed and Megan breathed a sigh of relief, the pitch change was something she picked up from Hello Megan, it always made the audience laugh.

"I need some brain food," Wendy said, opening up the cabinet to fish out some snacks. She stepped up to her toes; at 5 feet she couldn't actually see the contents of the cabinet and relied on her sense of touch to be her eyes. Her hand closed around a cylindrical object.

"You can share this Goldfish with me!" Megan offered, pushing her cup of the snack that smiles back towards Wendy. She felt like an idiot for leaving something meant to be kept a secret in a cabinet. What with Wendy being so short and Megan so tall, she had come to conclusion Wendy would ask for Megan's assistance if she ever needed food from above and even then they had a fridge full of food.

Wendy's hand let go of what she believed to be an innocent snack and reached for Megan's cup.

"I love Goldfish!" she said, grabbing some out of the cup. Wendy's excitement was an act, she'd taken notice of the uneasy tone in Megan's voice and knew whatever was in the cabinet was give her the answer she needed.

Megan forced a smile as she made a mental note to move a few things around lest she be found out….

And if that happens, there goes my happy ending.

—-

He'd spotted her not far down the hallway from him, her long blonde hair was a distinguishing feature as most people at the academy preferred short cuts, easier to manage than longer hair that took more time to care for. It's what led Dick to believe Artemis had a heart unmatched by most, willing to put extra care into something and not with gels or hair dyes, no her hair was natural and styled with nothing more than a few brush strokes. It was the idea of her having such long hair, and keeping it her own while still keeping it healthy, the little extra time of hers for something so small, the fact that she didn't go to an expensive hair cuttery, all of that made Dick smile. He admired her for it.

He saw her glance behind for a second before sharply turning down another hallway. He frowned but followed her anyway. He wasn't going to let her get away without speaking to her, not with all he knew now and everything he wanted to express although subtly. He couldn't very well say he'd stolen her school files just to find out if she was pregnant, it was a stupid childish thing to do and he did it more on a whim and a need to get closer to her than actual logic.

Never had Artemis been so excited to get to her science class, the very class with the two people she hated the most, well two of the three; Tuppence, aka the spawn of the devil, and Wally.

"Artemis!" Dick called out, she waved her hand, stepping into the class and giving him a "I'm going to be late" expression before taking her seat, yanking her notebooks out of her backpack to keep busy as she was worried Dick might try and come in to class. The last thing she wanted was a proclamation of love from him.

Damn it, this is my fault.

Artemis wasn't a game player; she didn't like to lead guys on, fickleness in any form made her cringe. But she was being a complete flake, first kissing Dick back then holding his hand and then all of a sudden running from him like some scared little girl who'd just fallen down a rabbit hole.

After empting her backpack, Artemis started doodling on her notebook paper, drawing the Cheshire cat, one of the few doodles she'd mastered from years of practice.

"That's pretty." Artemis's left eye moved up to see the person of Wally's affection looking over her shoulder.

"Why are you spying on me?" Artemis said pulling away from her and speaking with a snarl.

"Oh I wasn't!" Megan held up her hands, shaking her head and then bowing it down at Artemis like some kawaii child from an anime.

"Uh… okay." Megan moved her head up, hoping to see a smiling Artemis willing to forgive her invasion of privacy but Artemis's had already turned her attention to another redhead, Wally. Megan's eyes moved back and forth between the two, glaring at one another.

"You're fighting?" Megan said without thinking, her fingers moved to her lips as a latent instinct to hush herself.

"Fighting isn't the right word." Artemis replied as she continued to work on her drawing, she wanted Megan to go away and leave her in peace but there was also a small, desperate part that wanted her to take a seat and hide her from the rest of the world. Her partner had yet to arrive even though the bell had rung leaving an opening for others to see Artemis, for Wally to see her.

He wouldn't be looking, like a give a damn.

"Oh I'm sorry, is there anything I can do?" Megan clasped her hands together, looking something like a prayer gesture, her eyes were eager to do something to help; she didn't like people fighting even if they were strangers.

Artemis's mouth opened, surprised by how genuine Megan was.

"You're not from around here?" Artemis said trying to state the words but in such disbelief by Megan's kindness, phrased it as a question.

"I transferred this year! So I guess I'm a newbie." Megan was careful with the word "newbie" she'd chosen it over "new" because of that touch of sweetness the extra letters gave. She was terrified of emphasizing her presence at the academy as one not exactly typical, this being her first year despite two years away from graduation.

"Oh, me too." Artemis wanted to say something more, something that could continue the conversation and provide more insight on who Megan was, maybe even share a bit about who Artemis was.

Hell if I know.

"Really? What grade?" The class was filled with sophomores and juniors along with a few brilliant freshman, although it didn't matter what grade Artemis was in, she could be a seventh grader and Megan would gladly accept any willingness for friendship.

"Trying to make friends today trailer trash?" Both Megan and Artemis looked over to Tuppence, she had her hands in her hair, pushing it up to make it look bigger than it was.

Probably to hide that giant head, Artemis thought.

"Excuse me," Megan said with her hands placed on her hips and her eyes glossed with anger by the unwarranted cruel treatment Tuppence was giving Artemis, who she believed to be a new found friend, "That is not very nice and entirely uncalled for."

Tuppence rolled her eyes, flicking her fingers at Megan. If she wasn't the quarterback's girlfriend, she'd gladly hurl a million insults over her innocent act. Sadly for Tuppence, Megan was loved by the majority of the school, cross a line with her and everyone would be against her.

"Sorry Morse, didn't mean to hurt her feelings." Megan narrowed her eyes, nodding slowly. She smiled at Artemis, the lines of her eyes forming a sentence that read "I hope we become good friends"

Once Megan sat down, Tuppence leaned in close to Artemis, her lips almost against her ear.

"Of course, I doubt I could hurt the feelings of garbage." Artemis jumped from her seat, her fist rising like a tsunami on a shore.

Tuppence covered her face, crying out in pain, a loud crippling cry for a good thirty seconds when she realized Artemis's fist had not actually touched her face but had stopped an inch away from her.

"To hell with you." Artemis spat as she pushed her belongings into her bag. She didn't care if she had to skip this period for the rest of the year and flunk out, better to go to summer school than deal with this crap.

Megan started to get up, not having heard what Tuppence had said, she looked to Tuppence once Artemis left the room, nearly knocking down their teacher, Dr. Fries who looked particularly blue today, so blue that he failed to notice Artemis coming his way. Megan put her hands on her cheeks, stressed over the matter. Her eyes went to Wally for some reason, possibly the idea of Artemis in pain sent her there, something about those two…

"Today we're learning about bonding." Dr. Fries began to draw the formulas for ionic bonding on the board, but Megan could hardly focus, she could see Wally staring at the door, his own expression worried, to what Megan believed to be about Artemis, and from the way he twitched in his seat, it seemed as though he wanted to go after her.

Go.

Megan mouthed out the small word, her head turned to his direction, her body practically falling over so he could see… but he couldn't see her, he was still looking at the door.

—-

Artemis sat by the side of the school's swimming pool, disheartened and exhausted. Between track, archery, homework and her job, things were piling up. The joy she took from reflexive verbs in Spanish class or the release of a bow dimmed and things felt… numb.

Her shoes rested next to her as she dipped her legs in the water, feeling the cold touch of it sting her skin. It was her last effort to feel alive, legally that is.

The only acceptable thing she could do was ride her motorcycle, she'd had her license for a year and half… but after the last time she rode her mother would have a heart attack, an actual heart attack from knowing her daughter was riding "death" out into the streets of Gotham. It wasn't the knife wielders of the world that her mother feared, Artemis had learned from the streets how to defend herself from knives to guns… what her mother really feared was Artemis endangering herself and she and good reason too…

I should just drown myself in the water.

"Are you alright?" Artemis kicked her leg into the air, it swung underneath the legs of the person behind her, he fell down much like the robber had in the park, but instead of seeing a man with a knife, or even someone remotely evil, she saw a young man with gentle features, one's worn with wisdom and yet lacked any wrinkles.

"Who are you?" Kaldur rubbed the back of his head; he was eerily calm about the possible concussion.

"I'm sorry to have startled you," Kaldur moved closer to her, unsure if this was the right action but the first to come to mind, "my name is Kaldur and you looked distressed. Pardon my invasion." He moved his hand up as if to shake hands but when she did not do the same he pulled it down. It had been some time since he had talked to a female for reasons other than school.

There were several girls who found him attractive but it was irrelevant, anything that led to love was irrelevant to him.

"What are you doing here?" Artemis watched as Kaldur made a few noises, looking for words to speak but failing to come up with a good answer.

"You're skipping." She decided for him.

"No, no I have a free period, I like to… swim… like a fish." Artemis started laughing, her feet splashed in the water from her spastic movements. Had the sentence been delivered by someone with social skills, it would come off as a person making a joke and thus not worthy of Artemis's laugh because it would be a cheesy joke. However, Kaldur spoke in all seriousness, there was no trace of comedy in his voice; he really liked swimming… like a fish.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Why are you apologizing?" Artemis laughed once more before finally stopping, drops of water had fallen on their uniforms creating darker spots on the fabric.

"I'm so- I'm not the best at conversing." Artemis touched one of the wet bits, the skin on her fingers cooled under the touch of water, although it was sinking deeper into her clothes each second that passed.

"I'm Artemis, also known as trailer trash, also know as really f*ed up." Kaldur coughed at the sound of an expletive, he never used the words for his mother had taught him it wasn't the way of a gentleman and he was very much a "mama's boy" if only in the sense of keeping his mother happy, she was the only family he had. Among other things, his mother had also taught him how to respect a woman and a nickname like "trailer trash" was one he felt should not be associated with not only a woman but any human being.

"You are not trailer trash, you are a person, a living, breathing person who not only holds much more value than trash but also has a pleasant smell." Artemis chuckled quietly; the noise didn't reflect how much his comment warmed her heart.

"Thank you Kaldur, you are a very kind young man." Artemis mentally snorted, not because she didn't mean what she said but because his way of speaking, so proper and eloquent, was rubbing off on her.

"You are very much welcome." The two sat for another ten minutes, staring into the very blue water. Kaldur's sea green eyes looked brilliant with the water's reflection, like the sea itself, and with each move of the water, a small wave rose in his eyes. In turn, Artemis's gray eyes quieted the movements with each motion the water made appearing like a deepened crater, as if her eyes were the moon.

The two were very much like the moon and the ocean sitting on the tiled floor with the air smelling like chlorine and the soft swoosh of Artemis' feet, there were in a steady harmony.

"It's nice when it's quiet." Artemis said looking into the water; her voice without emotion but her face in the water shaped one of sadness.

"Sometimes, the quiet helps one think but to be completely quiet is the inevitability no human wishes to reach quickly." Kaldur was well versed in poetry and Greek mythology, he'd studied the human psyche for years; it was a hobby of his. As with Conner, he had detected Artemis had a rawness to her personality, a gritty sense of reality that left her untrusting hence her reaction to him. He was pleased that despite her reservations she had laughed and he hoped his words regarding quietness would urge her to mediate whenever she could for those quiet times. These were all Kaldur's thoughts and yet he rarely spoke them aloud, he was a boy of few words.

Artemis focused on the word "inevitability."

Death was inevitable, it was more of the "when" that people feared. Kaldur had said no one rushes to death but she disagreed, those who wanted to take their lives into their own hands often resorted to rushing all the way to the finish line instead of letting "fate" decide.

"What if someone is suicidal?" Kaldur was surprised by the question, he hadn't thought she wanted to end her life, no there was something else… he knew depression, there were warning signs in her but not the extreme…

"Are you?" He asked.

"No. Are you?" He shook his head, and it was the truth. He didn't want to die but with each day another emotion was lost, he was running out of reasons to get out of bed in the morning.

"No, and neither are you, but… you want to feel alive, don't you?" Artemis wanted to nod because he was right, she wanted to feel things, not just emotions but the climax of emotions, to be the edge of life and death and yet… she didn't. She wasn't impulsive, she thought about each decision she made, the night… months ago she made each decision… to drink… to take shot after shot… to ride her motorcycle, there were hesitations, the voice in head hoarse from screaming at her. She didn't act before thinking; she just ignored her thoughts and shushed her second-guessing in favor of the danger.

Now she could hear the little voice telling her to ask Kaldur something, no not ask but state it because Artemis felt he'd confirmed it the moment he sat down to speak with her in that tranquil, tired voice.

"And you wish you were never born." Kaldur didn't respond. There was a difference between wanting to die, the thought that provoked action to end one's life, and the wish to have never been brought into the world for it was an event that could not be undone.

If I had never existed, it wouldn't have happened.

Artemis leaned back, laying on the poolside, wondering about the rain and how lovely it would look if the droplets hit the water, if only it would thunder right now so she wouldn't have to come up with something to say, something that would make it all better for her… friend?

"Don't we have Spanish together?" She said, hoping he would take the bait.

"Yes, 5th period."

"There's a project that requires partners, if you want to partner up, that'd be cool." Kaldur grinned; he appreciated Artemis changing the subject.

"I would like that very much."

"And we could talk… in Spanish… and in English if you need to since… I know you're struggling… with the tenses," Artemis chose her words carefully, hoping the message she wished to convey to Kaldur was making sense.

"That sounds good, thank you and the same to you although you excel in the subject… I doubt I would be very helpful." Kaldur felt as though he were peaking through the waves, into the light of the surface word where a human was calling him to shore, he could only try to speak the same language, he could only try to be useful…

"I'm going to disagree with that Kaldur, I think you're very helpful." A sweet smile passed between them as they sat watching the water move for the rest of the period, content on finding someone who enjoyed the stillness that life could bring despite the numbness, and the needs and the dark wishes to revoke life itself or tread on its edges…

Life was beautiful when everything was still.

—-

Wally touched the lines of his bare torso; he used to take pleasure from the touch of his toned body, all of what he worked for in the past few years. He'd spent hours in the gym, running on the treadmill, lifting weights, working hard to maintain the physique society said girls would fall over themselves to touch, and to the boy who had the body… love.

"I'm an idiot." He pulled his pillow over his face, screaming into it for all his wasted years. He didn't know what was easier, staying the gawky kid who openly shared his passion of mitosis and comic book superheroes with everyone, or whoever the hell he was now.

The confidence he exuded was real; he believed in himself, he believed in what he said but maybe… maybe the role he wanted so badly was just too far-fetched for him to perform well.

"Maybe you don't have to be a jerk to be confident."

But I'm not a jerk… why would I say that?

He closed his eyes and rolled over on his belly, the springs of the mattress pushing down as his body changed positions, he could feel the metal coils going up and down, he imagined the spiral pieces bouncing back and forth. He could see himself as the springs, moving the world around him, influencing his reactions, all of which were made upon first thought, that is if he thought at all.

He was rash, acting in the moment, for the moment and never concerning himself with the consequences, the aftermath of his actions, his words.

He'd hurt Artemis; he could have redeemed himself by sticking up for her in class. He didn't know what Tuppence had said but he was well aware that she made life hell for Artemis, Dick had told him.

Instead of doing the right thing and telling Tuppence to shove it where the birds don't sing, he let Artemis get bullied, he sat in his chair and didn't do a damn thing to stop the bullying.

That was me.

If anyone were to stick up for someone being tortured like that it should have been Wally, the kid with all the scars from being shoved into lockers, the panic attacks he'd get from being beaten into compact spaces and left there for a custodian to find him. The stench of urine ever so present in his mind from all the times his head had been forced down a toilet, the choking sensation from his mouth taking in the water, the piss, the terror of pushing and pulling, of not being able to breathe, or even see light, only watery darkness…

The bruises he went home with from the punches he received for things like winning first place in the science fair or chasing spiders with a magnifying glass, the black eyes, the smell of uncooked meat he'd pull from the freezer to heal the throbbing shades of purple and pink on his face…

It was hell.

All he wanted was to be more, to be better. It's why he started running to get out of his "awkward" stage and be somebody, someone who wasn't a loser.

But he was still a loser; he didn't stick up for her and that's what made her right. Even if she said it out of anger, there was truth in the word "pathetic" because he was pathetic.

"Damn."

"Damn what?" Wally lifted his head to see his best friend carrying a grocery bag; Wally salivating at the sight of it. He was like Pavlo's dog, conditioned in such a way that every time he saw a big brown bag he expected there to be food in it, lots of food for him to eat. With Dick holding it, he knew it had to be just that. But he didn't want it; he felt like he didn't deserve to be treated with kindness… all he wanted was to spend the night self-loathing.

"Alright, so I've got chips, protein bars, apples, cookies, the whole schtick," Dick announced, setting down a myriad of different food items in front of Wally's face. Any other time he would have been ravenous and ready to devour it, the proximity of the food wasn't helping…

I didn't help her; I don't deserve to eat.

"Dude… You okay?"

"What? Yeah, I just…" he could see her being berated over and over, the image stuck in his mind like a ghost haunting the person that had done them wrong.

"Waaaaally. Answer me." Dick flicked his friend's forehead hoping to get Wally to look up but he didn't move. Dick shrugged his shoulders not wanting to push him… that is until he saw the scars on Wally's back, burnmarks a few weeks old. He knew the story but had not yet seen the damage. He knew how Wally got it and for some reason he felt certain that the person involved with that event had something to do with Wally's current state.

Artemis.

The girl who'd brought Dick plenty of trouble too. With all her avoidance he wanted to give up any romantic notions, whether real ones or those born out vulnerability. He'd come over to Wally's dorm to play Halo: Reach, sip a few sodas and catch the latest episode celebrity hockey, now it looked like he was going to talk about her, have to think about her and instead of questioning his own feelings he'd be helping Wally sort out his.

It was Shakespeare who had said "the course of true love never did run smooth." Problem was, he didn't know what course led to love and if the end of that path was Artemis…

"I suck at life. I just… I suck," Wally groaned, tossing an apple into the air and catching it, the veins in his arms moving with the extension. Wally groaned again, the veins had become more apparent over the years from the countless hours he'd spent at the gym, shaping his body to the celebrities girls drooled over. He hated it.

"And…?" Dick prompted, snatching the apple away from Wally. He wanted Wally to come out with it, what was on his mind, why he was upset and if it were about Artemis… he'd have to manage.

"And what?" Wally narrowed his eyes at his friend.

"And why do you suck?" Dick took a bite out of the apple, listening closely to the sound of the fruit in his mouth more so than Wally's next answer. He was afraid of what it might be; he'd gone from indifference to jealousy in seconds.

I blame hormones.

And then Wally said the name he'd been expecting all along.

"Artemis." Things cleared in Dick's mind right then, hearing his best friend say her name as if he were heartbroken, despondent and crestfallen.

"I can give you her number… if you need to talk to her." Dick pulled out his phone, he didn't have to scroll far or really at all, Artemis was on the top of the list.

"Dick-" Wally didn't want her number because it meant he wanted her, he wanted her in a way that wasn't platonic and that was wrong for two reasons. One, he'd acted like a complete a*hole to her and therefore to act on his feelings would be stupid… and he didn't have those feelings… no he just… he wanted to be her hero… he should have been her hero… and he failed her.

The other reason was Dick, his best friend… Dick who liked Artemis that way.

"Dude, it's cool. It wouldn't have worked out between her and me." Dick copied the number from his phone and pasted it to a text message, then sent it to Wally and tucked the phone away in his jacket.

"You should talk to her… you hurt her." Dick shouldn't have said the last three words; he only did it as a warning to Wally. He'd hurt Artemis before and if he was going to try something with her he wanted him to do it the right way, he didn't want to see her cry, not with all he knew about her past…

"I know." Wally replied apologetically, he felt like he was breaking Dick's heart…

"But Wally, you're not the bad guy… you saved her remember? What bad guy would do that?"

With that, Dick left the room but he didn't go far. He slid against a wall around the corner, all he could think about were his parents falling… and then he was falling too. All his senses shut down, no sight to see the bodies breaking, no hearing to cringe at the bones snapping, no touch to feel their coldness of their bodies on the circus floor.

Is this why I'm so screwed up?

He couldn't decide what to love, how to love, if he should love. What was the point when life could take away everything you loved in an instant?

Maybe… if I could bring us all together… maybe I wouldn't be… like this… broken?