I Write The Songs . CONTEST ENTRY
TITLE: Stay
CHARACTERS: Eric N., Sookie S.
DISCLAIMER: Charlaine Harris owns the fictional characters in this story. Allison Krauss wrote and owns the rights to "Stay." I do not own the rights to the characters in this story and no infringement is intended.
PEN NAME: FangbangerLayla
BETA NAME: Slcurwin
VIRGIN WRITER : NO
MULTI-CHAPTER: NO
TEASER: Eric and Sookie met as seniors in High School and had a whirlwind Summer romance. However Eric's meddling father managed to put a wedge between them. Will they be able to overcome life's obstacles and finally build a life together, or will loyalty and obligation make that wedge permanent? This is an AH fic.
Stay
It'd been such a long time since I thought about him, but when I heard tires crunching as his car made its way up my gravel driveway, I was suddenly confronted by the memories. Memories and dreams of a life that I had so desperately hoped that we would share together, but never came to pass.
Instead of the hope and love that once resided in the recesses of my soul, the feelings I now harbored for him were comprised mostly of resentment, anger and betrayal.
"I'll love you 'til I die, Sookie Stackhouse." Eric whispered in my ear as we lie naked atop the tattered old quilt that had been in my family for generations. His fingers traced the curve of my hip and his eyes bore into mine.
"I wish you weren't going so far away." I agonized as I checked off another day on my mental calendar.
We only had 12 more days until Eric was leaving for college. His father had insisted that he attend the University of Oklahoma, and since that was the only college he was willing to pay for, well it made Eric's decision a fairly easy one to make. Though I outwardly supported his decision, my whole being screamed at him to take a stand against his father, to take control of his own life and go to school where he wanted to.
While he was off to Oklahoma for school, I had managed to get a few grants and small scholarship at the LSU in Baton Rouge, which meant that Eric and I would be a good 9 hours apart.
As the minutes of our inevitable departure ticked in my head, I knew that Eric was thinking the same thing.
"You know I don't want to leave you." He implored. I understood his predicament, really I did, and I knew that I would also resent mostly his father, but a part of me knew that I would feel that way towards him as well.
"I know." I accepted.
All the things I thought I knew about love that summer five years ago, I now realize were nothing but the daydreams of a naïve teenager. Maybe he did love me back then, but reality and selfishness painted over whatever canvass we had created together.
As his shiny red Corvette made its way up my drive, I could feel the frantic beating of my own heart.
Eric once told me that he'd love me 'til the day he died. Well I never told him, but I had felt the same way, and the day he said "I do" to someone else, was the day that I died.
As I stood on the century old wrap around porch, I watched as he got out of his car. God help me, but the man still looked so heartbreakingly handsome. He was wearing some faded dark wash blue jeans, a plain dark grey T shirt and a pair of old converse chucks.
I watched him with a sad expression while gripping the railing of the porch in an attempt to stop myself from running to him, wrapping my arms around his familiar body and forgetting the past.
He stood there momentarily taking me in. I wished a thousand wishes that I knew what he was thinking at that moment. He looked sad and he seemed hesitant.
My southern manners kicked in and I went to greet him. "Eric?" I called out to him.
He began walking toward me and as he approached, he immediately picked me up in his embrace and swung me around much like a father does with his child.
I could feel him smelling my hair, and for just a small moment, I wanted to disremember everything, erase all the pain and anger that had built up within me over time.
"Sookie." He whispered into my hair and I could feel the tears burning in my eyes, threatening to fall down my cheeks. I had once sworn to myself that I would never shed another tear over Eric Northman, but as I find myself holding back those familiar tears, I knew that whatever promises I made to myself regarding him were nothing but white lies.
"God, I missed you." He said, pulling me away from him to give me a hard once over.
I didn't know how to respond to that. I had missed him desperately, but he had made his choices, and all I could do was make my own.
Choosing to ignore his sentiment, I responded with, "What are you doing here?"
"Dad's funeral was yesterday." He replied.
I knew that his father had passed, but I guess I didn't expect him to come see me. Although things between Eric and I had fallen apart, I still maintained a good relationship with his mother. In fact, Karin and I had brunch almost every Sunday.
I adored his mother, and after gran died, she quickly became my sounding board for motherly advice, and lord knows I needed motherly advice.
We had only discussed Eric and I's relationship a few times, but after a couple of conversations, we ultimately decided to agree to disagree and we never talked about him again, save for the times when she mentioned him in passing.
I didn't know how much or how often she spoke of me to Eric and I didn't really care. Throughout the past five years, I had done my damndest to get over him.
"Your mother told me he passed away. I'm sorry for your loss." I consoled.
I took a couple of steps back from him to give myself a little breather. He still smelled the same as he always did; a combination of clean cotton and his natural musk. I always found his scent intoxicating and so sexy. It was an incredibly elemental reaction and I resented the hell out of the fact that we had such chemistry.
"You wanna come inside?" I offered. Eric hadn't been in the old farmhouse since we were teenagers, and in many ways not very much had changed…except me.
"Yeah. I'm not intruding on your day am I?" he asked. I just shook my head no and he nodded.
"How've you been?" I asked. It felt odd to ask him such a mundane question.
"Ah you know. " He said noncommittally. I could tell that he wasn't okay. I couldn't tell, but it felt like much more than just his father's passing.
"Wanna talk about it." I asked as I poured him a glass of lemonade.
He sat at my great grandmother's old kitchen table, and the pained look on his face just about killed me.
"You know about loss, better than anyone I know." He started. It was true, I had lost every last living person in my family.
"That I do." I said and he nodded forlornly.
"The thing is, I loved my father." He said. I knew that better than anyone how much he loved him and I had paid the price for his dedication.
"But I feel so fucking guilty over the fact that I'm happy that he's dead. How fucked up is that?" He put his head in his hands. I knelt down beside his and hugged him close.
The past five years had been hard on me, and the day I sat in that botanical garden in downtown Oklahoma City and watched as he married someone else, never once did I think about how he was feeling. I was so caught up in my own sadness that I never thought for one moment that the ultimatum his father had given him was tearing him apart on the inside as well.
The thing about Eric was that he had complete control over his body language and facial expressions. Me on the other hand? I wore my heart on my sleeve, and you could read the emotions of my face from Little Rock.
"I know how you feel, believe me I do." I said. Eric was there with me, holding my hand when gran, Jason and I buried my "funny" uncle Bartlett. Eric knew that the old bastard had put his hands on me as a child and he knew that I wasn't sad at all when he died.
Eric looked at me with a sad and knowing smile, he knew exactly what I was talking about.
"But it's okay to feel the way you feel, and you can't let guilt eat at you." I sympathized.
"I'm finally free, Sookie. For once in my life, I am completely free." He lilted. I think his wife would beg to differ, but otherwise I totally agreed with him.
Thinking about her, I couldn't help but feel a wave of bitterness wash over me, and before I could stop myself, I said, "So how is Freyda?"
And just the mention of her name, Eric's mood fell faster than sleet in a hailstorm.
"Sookie, please." He implored. I couldn't help it though, she was the reason we hadn't seen or spoken to each other in five years. Did he really expect me to ignore the 800 pound gorilla in the room?
As we sat in this awkward stare off, I debated with myself whether or not to drop it, but I couldn't and wouldn't.
Finally he gave in when it became apparent that he couldn't ignore the topic of Freyda.
"She's the same as she's always been. Cold, vapid, and I'm pretty sure she's banging her personal trainer." He said bitterly.
I didn't know how she had always been, I really only interacted with her a few times, and they seemed happy, so I had no idea that she was vapid or self-centered.
I wanted to say something cruel like, "well you make your bed…" but I didn't have it in me. He had chosen not to stand up for himself, he had chosen to allow his father to run his life and make decisions on his behalf, but that didn't change the fact that what Eric and I once shared was purely his choice. And that was a victory that I had always held fast to.
"Wow. Okay, that's a lot to take in." I said. And I was truly taken aback by his admission. I had bitterly decided to think of their relationship as storybook, but now seeing him, I can tell that that was all a fabrication of the truth.
"Tell me about it." He replied. "I'm only 25, and I have so many fucking regrets Sookie." He lamented.
I hoped the fact that he chose money over me was one of them, but I didn't want to presume my importance in his life. I still had nothing to say though, how could I when I felt nearly the same way.
One of my biggest regrets was that I didn't fight hard enough for him. I should have yelled at him, pleaded with him to choose me, but that just wasn't who I was. I always felt that he should come to his own conclusions without my influence, but as I sit here across from him, I regret that I didn't give him more of my input on his predicament.
"You know that if I had to do it all over, I'd choose you. I should've told my father to fuck off. I should've gone with you to LSU." He said, reaching for my hand across the table.
"But you don't and you didn't." I retorted allowing a bit of the pent up animosity to reach the surface.
"I know." He bellowed.
"I decided that when I get back to Oklahoma, I'm leaving her." He said with a tentative and hopeful look.
Is that why he came here? Did he think that we could just fall back into a relationship once he left his wife? If that was the case, then I didn't know how to feel about that. The fact that he could only choose me after his father was cold in the ground didn't sit well with me, but then again should the reason why even matter?
He swallowed audibly and I could tell that he was fighting a war within himself. I, however, just didn't know how to respond to him. I was so conflicted and I didn't want to say something that I would ultimately regret.
"I know that you probably hate me." He said. That wasn't true. I could never hate him. "And I know that you would probably never take me back." He continued. I didn't know if that were true either. Could I ever take him back?
"But I guess I came here to see you because I can't let you go. I thought about you almost every day over the past five years, wondering where you were and what you were doing." He said, letting go of my hand. He stood up, towering over me. He began pacing the kitchen and running his hands through his hair. I could tell there were about a thousand thoughts running through his head like a catalogue, and he was deciding what to say next.
"When my mother told me that you had started seeing John Quinn, I was gutted. I wanted to come to see you so desperately, to tell him to go fuck himself and that you were mine, but I couldn't. I mean, what right did I have?" he said. I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. He had no right. None.
I dated John Quinn for a hot minute. I wouldn't even call what we had a relationship. He was a good guy and all, but he had mommy issues and the sex was bad…epically bad. Like premature ejaculation bad.
"That's kind of hypocritical, don't you think?" I said coaxing myself to breathe.
"Yes, it is." He said pointedly. "And that makes me an asshole." He thundered, still pacing the kitchen.
"No, it doesn't." I sighed, "Well maybe just a little bit." I walked to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "We all have our moments though, don't we?"
"I fucked up, Sookie." He said returning my embrace.
"I know." I agreed wholeheartedly.
"Is it too late?" He asked.
"I…I don't know." I stammered. My heart was beating so fast, and I wanted more than anything to tell him that it wasn't too late, but I wasn't sure. I had built up so many walls over the last few years; I had turned my memories of us into angry thoughts of bitterness, and I wasn't sure all of that could just be wiped away.
A lone tear fell from his eye and witnessing that simple act, broke down some of those walls. Eric was not a crier. I'd never seen him cry ever and the fact that he was capable of shedding tears for me made me want to wipe the slate clean.
"I understand." He accepted and held me a little tighter.
"I should go." Eric said pulling away from me and made a move towards the door.
I began to cry silent tears, he was sailing away from me again, and I didn't know if I could handle it.
As he turned the brass knob on my old front door, he turned to me and said, "I'll love you 'til I die, Sookie Stackhouse." And then he was gone.
I began to sob at his words, the same words he said to me all those years ago, the same words that I had held close to me until the day he wed.
At that moment, I knew that I couldn't let him go; I couldn't let him walk out of my life again, at least not without giving him a proper chance. So I bolted through the door. I ran to the end of the porch where I saw him opening his car door.
"Wait!" I yelled, and ran down the three steps and toward him.
Eric stopped and turned to face me, his expression was hopeful and he gave me a slight smile. God I missed his smile.
"Eric!" I said as I ran up to him and launched myself onto his body.
"Stay." I quietly pleaded as he held me.
"Always." He said into my hair as he brushed over it with his fingers.
"Always, my Sookie." He whispered and began placing soft, butterfly kisses on my temple and cheek. I looked up into his eyes and he had this fervent expression. He kissed my lips in an all-consuming way and I returned them with zeal.
His tongue begged entrance and I let myself feel him for the first time in five years. It was both mesmerizing and agonizing and I hoped to hell that I had made the right decision.
He lifted me up and placed his hands under my ass, holding me to him as we continued to kiss insatiably. I lost myself in him for a while, and then I felt my back hit a hard wall. I pulled away from his mouth and noticed that he had managed to walk us back inside the house.
He released one hand from my bottom, and ran it through my hair, pulling it lightly. "Sookie." He moaned hungrily with a stormy look in his deep blue eyes.
I gasped as his thumb traced the outer line of my panties, so close to where I desperately wanted to feel him.
"Bedroom." I said in a winded tone.
Eric complied and lifted me once again, carrying me towards my old bedroom. He didn't know that I had moved into grans room. He gently put me down on my old full size bed that I hadn't slept in in years.
"You are so beautiful." He said unzipping my sundress. I sat up on my knees so that I could pull it off. My body had changed a little bit over the last five years. I was a little curvier, and my breasts were slightly larger, but I wasn't uncomfortable with him seeing me bare.
Eric helped me throw my dress on the floor and I pulled his shirt off. His lean muscular body was just as I remembered it, and I felt that kindling flame alight in my core.
My hands made their way to his belt buckle as he attacked my undergarments, and before I knew it we were both completely naked.
Eric pushed me so that I was lying flat on my back and he began to kiss his way down my body. I felt the moisture cascading down my thigh, a natural reaction to Eric's touch, and one that I was happy to see hadn't faded over time.
Eric licked the moisture from my thigh and began moaning. "You still taste amazing." He said. I gripped the sheets, as he parted my folds with his thumbs and his tongue entered me, worshipping my crease in the most piercing way.
I moaned, and my breathing became labored as he continued his assault on my mound. I needed more. I needed to feel him filling me. I began tugging at my nipples, as I approached my climax.
"I need you." I groaned as I continued to pinch my hardened buds.
"Look at me Sookie." He implored. I opened my eyes and the sight of him between my thighs made me involuntarily moan out in pleasure.
"Come for me, baby." He said, and I felt the familiar quickening deep in my belly and before I knew it, my body was convulsing in pleasure as I came powerfully.
I felt Eric's body weight lift and I looked up to see him digging in his jean pockets, presumably looking for a foil wrapper.
I lay back on the bed, riding out the residual feelings from my climax. My limbs were gelatin and I couldn't move even if the house was on fire.
"You okay." He asked as his body once again was resting over mine.
"Uh huh." Was all I could manage. He chuckled at me and began kissing me again. It was soft, caring, and I could feel his rigorous cock stabbing my abdomen.
Eric tested my readiness, and was satisfied with what he found. He entered me swiftly and I broke our kiss to gasp. He was by far the largest man that I had ever slept with and I had forgotten just how easily he could fill me.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and began returning his thrusts. The way we were positioned made it so that he hit my G spot with each drive and I found myself digging my nails into his back.
"Jesus Sookie. God you feel so fucking good." He groaned as he continued to assail. He took one of my buds into his mouth and nibbled slightly which caused me to scream out, and when he returned the favor to the other bud, I lost it and felt myself convulsing around his cock.
"Eric!" I screamed out as my orgasm hit. Our sweaty bodies cascading against each other and I felt him release at the same time.
Our movements slowed, and he made a move to lift himself off of me, but I held him. I didn't want the moment to end; I wanted to relish the familiar feel of our coupling before the reality of our situation set in.
"Just stay like this for another minute." I begged. He nodded and laid his head against my chest.
After that precious minute ended, he got up and made his way to the bathroom. I sat there alone and cold on the bed and all I could think was that he was going to leave me again. He had to leave me again. He had a wife and a life in Oklahoma, and though he did say that he was going to divorce her, I didn't want to have any delusions that it was actually true.
I didn't want to be the cliché other woman, the one who insisted that her man was going to leave his wife for her. No, I would believe it was true once I saw the divorce papers.
Eric came out of the bathroom with a serene look on his face and crawled back into bed kissing my shoulder as he hugged me to him. He brushed my hair back from my face and asked, "What's going on in that head of yours?"
Too many thoughts to just choose one, but I wanted to be honest with him. "I'm afraid you're going to leave and not come back." I said giving him a gloomy look.
Eric sighed and intertwined my hand in his. "I am going to leave, but I swear to you that once I get my affairs in order, I will come back to you." He said earnestly.
"Forgive me if I have doubts Eric, but I don't know if I have it in me to get my hopes up again." I pleaded.
"I get it. I haven't done a damn thing to earn your trust in me, but I'm done with that life Sookie. I've fulfilled the obligations to my father, and now it's my turn to live my life the way I want to. And I want to be with you." Eric entreated.
I gave him a sullen look. It wasn't that I didn't trust him exactly; it was more that I was protecting my heart. I was a miserable person for a long time after he got married, and it took me a while to get to a point where waking up every day didn't feel like a punishment.
Eric took my hand and placed it over his heart. I could tell that he was tortured over the situation, and wanted me to believe him.
"I love you Sookie. Please don't doubt my love for you." Eric said. I didn't doubt his love for me, what I doubted was his commitment to me. Eric was a loyal person by nature, but he had always been loyal to the wrong people. And I was petrified that he would be loyal to his wife, and forget that today ever happened.
"Are you really going to leave her?" I asked him.
"Yes. I already spoke to my lawyer about it, and as soon as I get back to OKC, I'm packing up. I can't be with her anymore." Eric said.
I sat quietly contemplating all the things that he had said to me. I didn't want to make any rash decisions on the basis of his loving words spoken in a post orgasmic haze. I needed tangible proof that he was going to live up to his promises to me.
"I think you should go." I said seemingly out of the blue.
"What?" He asked confused. "Sookie. Please." He begged.
"Eric, please go." I repeated.
He looked at me for a terrifyingly long moment, but then got up without another word and put his clothes on. I followed suit and he made his way towards the front door and stopped before he opened it. He looked back at me with a confused and angered expression on his face.
"This isn't over." He blurted giving me a piercing look.
"I expect that it isn't." I retorted silently pleading with him to understand the subtext of what I was saying.
He turned and walked out of the door. I hoped to God that he meant the words that he had spoken, but only time would tell.