Authors Notes: The first arc of this story will be 10 chapters, which will actually be individual blog entries from that one person's POV. In this first arc, there will actually be four people having conversations; I hope I have not made the first 10 chapters confusing in any way. If you have any questions on who is who in this first half of the story, please review and I will be happy to enlighten you.

Something else you will notice; most of the chapters are going to be extremely short; in fact, the longest one is probably the first chapter and that is probably only 3 pages long. Most of the chapters are only a few paragraphs; I set up each chapter to be a focused blog as if they were individual postings. With the chapters being, so short I will probably post one every other day.

10% of this story is actually fact the rest is nothing but pure fan fiction. This will probably be the longest authors notes especially in the first arc as most of the chapters are extremely short.

This chapter has beta read by SapphoSensei and re-posted as of 8/11/12

Rating T, it may go up to an M rating, but I'm starting it off at a lower rating for now.

Warning: This blog is for the lovelorn and unrequited love. This is also a Yuri/girl loving girl type story if you do not care for that type of story please look elsewhere as there's plenty of other types of stories for you to read.

Disclaimer: I do not own Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha nor do I make money from my stories. These stories are for entertainment purposes only in accordance with fair use.

Now before the authors notes are longer than the actual chapter I present to you my new story. I hope you enjoy the read.

ZR };-

Blog Of the Lovelorn

By

Zona Rose

Chapter 1-Blog One

Stars One

First off, I would like to apologize to anybody who reads this. It's gotten to the point where I can no longer hold these feelings inside without talking about them, so I decided to create a blog expressing my feelings for the love of my life. I will not say my name or her name as that would probably be too embarrassing for either one of us. I will nickname her My Golden Goddess, and you can call me Stars One.

I suppose I should start off that we had worked together over 7 years ago; back when I thought I was straight. At the time, we were the best of friends and she had confided in me that she was a lesbian. I accepted her for who she was, not just what she was. I think in a way that brought us closer together as friends.

Unfortunately, I had to leave my job unexpectedly due to a family crisis; and in doing so, I ended up having to take up the family business. We had lost touch when I left my job; from time to time I would think about her wondering what she was doing, wondering if she had a new girlfriend after her last break up.

2 1/2 years ago, I came to an epiphany, which really shook my world. I had been sitting at my computer watching some anime as it was a favorite pastime of mine when I began to think about her. What was she up to, and how was she doing, I had wondered. Just then, I felt this wave of emotion hit me. I felt like a giant waterfall of emotions were cascading through my being. I had no idea what it meant or why I was feeling all of these emotions.

I had built a wall around my heart due to the family crisis, as I did not want to have to feel that kind of pain ever again. So having this hit me out of nowhere I was stunned and had no idea what to do. I suddenly realized that these emotions had come over me when I thought of her, My Golden Goddess. Whenever she came to my mind it was unsettling. What were these feelings? Then something else unexpected happened, I felt a warmth radiating from the center of my chest out; it was like warm sunshine it felt so wonderful I didn't know what to do, but placed my hands over my heart, and let the tears roll down my cheeks.

I think at that moment I realized that I was in love and not only that, but I was in love with a woman. That realization alone floored me. This can't be happening I thought; I am straight. How could I be in love with a woman? For several weeks, I've pondered these new emotions with the realization that I was a lesbian. Therefore, I decided that I needed to explore this new side of me that has come to light.

I decided to check out anime that was dealing with lesbianism also known as Yuri or Shoujo-Ai. I also did some reading (fanfiction . net) on the subject because if this was going to be my new lifestyle; I needed to know as much as possible. The more I watched and the more I read (this is going to be so embarrassing) the hornier I got, not to mention I started acting like a perverted old man. I started noticing that I was looking at girls and enjoying what I saw. I never used to look at men this way as I always said, I was happy being alone I didn't need a man in my life. I guess I was more right than I ever knew. I also didn't realize that by saying that over and over, that I didn't need anyone in my life, that I was happy being alone, I was actually cursing myself into being a very lonely woman, one who longed to have the girl of my dreams beside me.

I'm sorry I have tears running down my face right now. Why you're wondering? Because she wants nothing to do with me. Six months after I realized I had feelings for her, I contacted a mutual friend, (I'll call him Ferret). I had asked our mutual friend to meet with me for a cup of tea at a local bookstore/coffee shop. We met and talked about what had been going on the past few years, as I had not been in contact with him either. After I told him that I had feelings for her and I wanted to get in contact with her he supported me wholeheartedly.

Ferret took down my contact information my cell phone number and e-mail address, so that he could give it to her at work the next time he saw her. We said that we would stay in contact as I had missed his company and friendship. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and still I have not heard from her. Therefore, I contacted Ferret to make sure that he had given her my contact information. He said that he had given it to her mother as she worked in the same department as him. He said he'd given it to her mother just days after we had met at the bookstore/coffee shop.

Ferret and I have been in contact on an off for the past 2 1/2 years, we've even gone out to dinner and the movies from time to time. I've always seen him as just a friend nothing more. I have slowly come to the realization that My Golden Goddess wants nothing to do with me and it breaks my heart.

I have started this blog because I can no longer hold these feelings or this story inside my heart. It's a love that will never die until I do, and no, I do not plan to commit suicide. I will remain devoted to the one I love even if she does not love me. If you would like to reply to this blog than you are more than welcome to. I would love to have open discussions with other people that are in the same predicament that I am. Maybe we can give each other comfort in knowing we're not alone in our heartbreak.

Signing off,

Stars One

A/N: Well everyone that was the first blog entry I hope you all enjoyed the read. *_*

Please review let me know what you think, positive criticism is always welcomed, flamers will of course be ignored.

In Love & Light,

Zona Rose };-

Beta Read=BR 8/10/2012