Disclaimer I don't own Inuyasha Rumiko Takahashi, and VIZ Media do Rated R for language

1 Kagome is doing sexy things to seduce Sesshoumaru with no reaction from him then without trying she finds out the weirdest thing is a big turn on for him. 2 Two strangers meet at a club and find out that they have the strangest thing in common. 3 The pitter patter of little feet lead Kouga, Miroku, and Inuyasha to the most shocking surprise of their lives. 4 Sesshoumaru finds he quite enjoys riling Kagome bringing surprising and shocking results. A/N sorry everyone edited and replaced chapter because the original had multiple errors added a bit more to, lol. Sessh/Kag

Sesshoumaru's Twisted Tales 3

By Raven 2010, Oct 31 2012

Story 1

Seducing Sesshoumaru

Kagome was in seduce Sesshoumaru mode and it was just about a full time job and this is how it all started, it was no secret that Kagome was crazy about Sesshoumaru Taisho hell she had sexy dreams about him every night. The scheming miko formed a plan she had lots of sexy things she'd do to tempt him. As Sesshoumaru sat drinking his iced tea Kagome took action deliberately letting an ice cube fall between her full breasts that gave her an excuse to pull the neck of her shirt down so she could fish it out at the same time giving him a close up view of her endowments along with her nipples which had hardened from the chill of the ice cube poking through her top. She slowly took it out and licked but sadly no response

"What the fuck is he a corpse? Shit she's not trying to seduce me but even I'm turned on" Inuyasha said "Yasha play hide the salami pant, pant,"

"Those luscious melons" how could he not want to bury his face between those? Miroku added

"You know I'm beginning to wonder if fluffy even likes women," Inuyasha stated

"If it were me she'd be in the nearest closet bathroom or any available room getting tagged bagged and claimed as my personal property they don't call me the big bad wolf for nothing," Kouga exclaimed

"Damn even I'm excited," Bankotsu spoke

"Catch it mark it and keep it all to yourself," Sugimi added

"Freaking A," the other males agreed

"Hell I'm not straight but even I'm half tempted to do her," Jakotsu added

"Switching teams Jak?" Inuyasha teased

"She could turn a gay man straight without even trying,"

"Well boys I think we have a new member to the lechers team," grinning Inuyasha said "Hey pop was Sessh castrated at birth or something?"

"No but I do not understand him he is a healthy fully functioning male," Sugimi answered

"Huh, there's got to be something that puts a fire under fluffys butt you know something that really singes his fur,"

"If only we knew what with that knowledge I could help the miko," Sugimi replied

"All we can do is watch and wait," Miroku exclaimed, for a human Kagome released an impressive growl

"Dudes I'll wager money on it that she purifies Sessh before two weeks have passed," Kouga said

"Shit I'll bet he's dog dust in a week," Inuyasha added

"Place your bets and I will be the treasurer," Sugimi offered, the bets were placed and Sugimi held the money with the total of the money collected a single winner would walk away with $1000

Two days after

Kagome was anything but short on will power she sat eating an ice cream sundae topped with a mound of whipped cream and a cherry on top she slowly ate it knowing Sesshoumaru was coming she stalled for time. Sesshoumaru sat down Kagome took a bite with the whipped cream that covered her lips which she seductively licked off then took the cherry holding it up by the stem tilted her head back and seductively licked it slowly and sexily slid it in and out of her mouth a few times then suggestively sucked on it. Inuyasha and the other males watched wide eyed

"If fluffy doesn't do his job soon fuck I think I might jump her myself," Inuyasha exclaimed

"Horny pup you're a true Taisho," proud Sugimi praised teasingly

"Thanks pop little Yasha thanks you to for the kind recognition,"

"Boys I think my cork is gonna pop all by itself," Miroku told them

"Yeah well put a rubber on it before you do cause the rest of us don't wanna get hosed down," Inuyasha teased

"Then that means you better hook yours up to a pipe line because it looks like you're ready to blow," Miroku shot back

"She's got the buffer and I've got the knob that needs polishing," Kouga added

"Banky needs to deposit his money role in the bank," Bankotsu teased

"Thought it was green from moss growing on it all these years," Inuyasha needled

"Time to play bow and arrow boys notch aim release hit the mark," Sugimi commented

"Dad you letch," smirking Inuyasha exclaimed

"I'm all dog,"

Sesshoumaru knew she was there but did not look instead keeping his eyes glued to the newspaper he held in his hands after a couple of minutes Kagome gave up in utter frustration mentally playing visions of the many ways to kill the dog slowly and painfully. All the observing males sighed in disbelief though seething Kagome pretended nothing was wrong casually she got up and left going off to find a private place to scheme her next move mumbling as she passed by

"Is he even a man? Does he have a penis? Does he freaking feel anything? She fumed

"Yo Kags what's up? Kagura asked as she and the other female members of the group came in

"Yeah ya look like a scaled cat," Ayame added

"Ladies she is in kill mode take cover and pray for your lives," Sango teased

"I'm gonna make a rug out of him oh forgot have to skin him first, hm wait until he takes dog form then do it yeah that'll work," Kagome said "Think Inu would let me borrow his tetsuseiga?

"Yo earth to Kagome, earth to Kagome anybody home?" waving her hand in front of her face teasing Kagura asked

"Ah yeah here damn it,"

"Borrow Inuyasha's sword? Her female companions said in unison

"What's wrong? Tell mommy" Sango joked Kagome told them "I have an idea,"

With the guys

"Ouch Inuyasha's sword plus pissed off Kaggy plus Sesshoumaru equals Sesshy sausages," Jakotsu exclaimed

"Oh shit scheming wench hen party big bros going down under other circumstances I'd pay to see this but fluff's family so it's free," Inuyasha said

"Fluff? Sugimi exclaimed

"Yeah pop you know that moko, moko thing he wears fury fluffy and soft and when he turns into a dog big fluffy fur ball,"

"I see your point strange but I see it," Sugimi replied

"Aw mutt loves his fluffy cuddly inu bear," Kouga razzed

"Wolf you're an inch away from death," Inuyasha threatened

"Pft keep dreaming dog breath,"

"Warring dogs in the kennel somebody get a hose," Sugimi teased

Next day

Spending the weekend at the Taisho house Sango gave Kagome the perfect idea one of the greatest weapons in a female artillery stash guaranteed to bring any red blooded male down and turning him into a panting horn dog. Kagome's room was next to Sesshoumaru's so it was perfect Kagome, and Sesshoumaru were always the first to get up early in the morning. Sesshoumaru opened his room door and stepped into the hallway and saw Kagome's door was open and her standing in front of the mirror wearing nothing but a see through red lace bra with matching panties, Kagome saw his reflection in the mirror and mentally gloated keeping a straight face she did not want to give herself away'

'His little man will be twitching saying please release me' she thought

Instead Sesshoumaru turned around walked toward the stairs and headed down to the kitchen for his morning coffee she gritted her teeth and thought of the many ways to kill him purifying his male parts off brought a smirk to her lips. Then an evil idea entered her mind once again bringing a smirk to her lips it was war and she'd pull out the big guns. After breakfast Sesshoumaru sat in his favorite lounge chair and she thought it a perfect opportunity she was wearing a sexy curve hugging short sky blue dress she walked by Sesshoumaru when she was in front of him dropped something on the floor and bent over to pick it up giving a view of her bare female treasure, she stalled as long as she could once again seeing no response she mentally screamed

'That's it he is hopeless does he even have functioning male parts? Maybe he doesn't like girls what a waste of perfect top shelf man meat' she griped in her mind she had one idea left

A certain seeing the last part of it stealthy sneaking hanyou open palm smacked his forehead in disbelief "Tragic isn't it?" a voice said

"Damn it pop don't sneak up on a guy like that when he's spying," Inuyasha whispered "Man he is friggin hopeless, maybe I should talk to him about the birds and bees shit he's got to be like an antique virgin,"

"Inuyasha my son true and colorfully put," Sugimi replied "I did that long ago even gave him pictures to,"

"I'm willing to donate one of my best porn DVD's to the cause you know put it in the disc player in his room accidently leaving it on play just before he goes in to go to bed for the night," Miroku volunteered

"I have a very nice magazine with nude girls in it, and before you judgmental studs pass judgment it was left behind by my last male roommate," Kagura told them

"Shit she just bent over with no panties on showing him all of her uncovered naughty bits and nothing I am beginning to think he is made of ice," Inuyasha replied

"I'm a wolf he's a dog both canines with her in that position he should be mounting her from behind playing hide the hotdog," Ayame said

"Maybe he can't you know," Jakotsu suggested

"Impotent? Kouga who was joining the group asked

"Yup" Jakotsu answered

"A dog with no bone," Bankotsu teased "But seriously something must turn him on but nobody knows what maybe something totally kinky like doing it on a motorcycle with the motor running,"

"Bank you freak you," Inuyasha teased

"Don't knock it till you've tried it,"

"Yup the vibration of the motor running under your butt while he plows the field," Kagura said

"Damn and you chicks call us freaks," Inuyasha replied

"Vroom, vroom," she teased

"On top of the washing machine during a wash cycle and when it hits the spin cycle oo la, la," Sango added

"Boom big time," grinning Ayame added

Sugimi grinned deviously "Ah kamis bless modern machines,"

The following evening

It took hours but Kagome finally managed to calm down and cool off she had something totally devious in mind it was guaranteed to work plus it'd set his blood to boil, they all had one thing in common a shower or bath before bed. After her shower Kagome dried off with then wrapped a large light green towel around herself sensing Sesshoumaru coming she opened her room door and waited until he was near and let the towel drop to the floor giving him full view of her curvy body. Though she knew he'd seen her he continued on to his room without any reaction the moping miko sat on the bed feeling that all hope was lost she'd finally given up

Sensing her sadness "Well the fluffy striped bastard fucked up again," Inuyasha said to Miroku, Kouga, Bankotsu, and Jakotsu who were hanging out in his room with him

Ayame scented it as well "Girls Sessh did it again,"

"Oh no," Sango, and Kagura exclaimed

"Shit and I thought the stark naked thing would succeed making his rocket point to Kagome and work where all else has failed," Sango said

"Hate to say it but is's a lost cause," Ayame stated

Next morning

"Hah what? Inuyasha gasped in shock

"Am, am I seeing correctly? Rubbing his eyes in disbelief and looking again Kouga said

"You've got to be kidding me," Kagura exclaimed

"Am I in the gods damned twilight zone," Bankotsu asked

"Say what? Ayame, and Sango said in unison

"Kagsy honey what the hell?" Jakotsu added

"Little one? Sugimi commented in askance

"Why not that dog is never going to yield so what's the point?" Kagome replied

"Wench wearing that outfit, what the hel?" Inuyasha started and was cut off

"Well I might as well become one your brother can't be bothered so I give up,"

Sesshoumaru was just coming toward the living room when Kagome came out dressed in a miko outfit Sesshoumaru's eyes were glazed over and a dreamy look covered his face. Before Kagome knew what hit her she was lifted off her feet put over Sesshoumaru's shoulder and taken away by the fleeing Taiyoukai. Inuyasha could not believe his eyes in fact before his brother left he rubbed them then looked to make sure it was real and did a mental check list in his head

"Of all the things he gets turned on by a miko outfit," Inuyasha exclaimed "And I thought the doing it on a motorcycle with the motor running was kinky he takes the cake the closet freak,"

"Wow I never knew or would have thought Sessh was such a freak," grinning Miroku commented

"If I did not see it I never would have believed it," Bankotsu said

"Of all the things in the world miko clothes light a fire in his furnace," Sugimi added "Must be that whole demon conquer the pure maiden thing,"

"Sango my love would you consider wearing? Miroku started

"Keep dreaming monk,"

"Awww, pretty please?" Miroku pled with a pout while down on one knee

"I might but it'll cost ya two grand," she teased

"Ha, ha sucker," Inuyasha razzed "Cough it up daddy war bucks,"

"Shut up Snow White" where are your seven dwarfs? "Miroku shot back

Story 2

Out Clubbing With Kagome

"Kill me already, why don't you?" Kagome said to her mother Hitomi

"I will do no such thing,"

"Oh sure keep the victim alive make them suffer and slowly kill them over a period of years," Kagome wisecracked

"Where are you going dressed like that?

"To the club might as well live it up before my impending death," Kagome replied

"Just make sure you make it home in one piece we have things to attend to,"

"I'll think about it," Kagome answered then was out the door before Hitomi could respond

At the Jade Dragon Club

"What'll it be Kags? Jiro the bartender asked

"Something that'll melt the fillings in your teeth,"

"That bad, eh?

"Jiro you don't know the half of it," Kagome answered

"Okay kid one Tokyo twister coming up,"

"Thanks Jiro,"

As he entered she was the first thing he noticed a hot little thing all dressed in silver white a short dress and matching shoes with those raven locks hanging down to her waist he made his way to her table scenting the air as he went lilac rose and sandalwood came from her he loved it. A grin formed on his lips as he approached his prey he sensed it

"I sense you are here to escape something" am I right? He asked

"Yup"

"You can tell me if you wish," he coaxed

"My impending prison sentence and time to be served a life sentence,"

"You are to be sent to prison, why?" he inquired

"Well not a physical prison,"

"Then what kind? He asked

"A sentence worse than death,"

"And that would be? He questioned

"An arranged marriage" can you believe it? Seriously we're not living in the dark ages"

"Cough" he nearly choked on his drink

"Are you okay?

"Yes I was shocked to hear it I too am in the same position,"

"You, a gorgeous hot sexy male specimen like you? Shit girls would pay even kill to have you" she told him

"Thanks, and men would do the same for you,"

"Thank you" she replied "Jiro another Tokyo twister for my friend here,"

"Right away Kags,"

"Tokyo twister? What is this? He asked

"Yup it's a special combo me and Jiro came up with I plot it and he mixes it then I try it out it's my pain killer/tranquilizer,"

"What is in it? He asked

"Oh about twenty different kinds of hard liquor mixed with fruit juice, as my friend Kouga so nicely puts it, it is guaranteed to really fuck you up,"

"I have nothing to lose," he said Jiro handed him the drink "Thank you,"

"I'll pray for ya bro," Jiro teased

"When's your day of execution," Kagome asked

"In two days" and yours?

"Same here" she replied "Hey I have an excellent idea,"

"Do tell I am all ears,"

"How about we hang out party and enjoy our last night as singles? Then we go our separate ways they'll never know" she suggested

"Sounds good to me,"

Next day

They did not yet know that they were tracked down to the hotel room they were staying in a knock sounded on the door "Oh great didn't I leave that do not disturb sign on the damned door knob? Kagome grouched "Wait a minute I did,"

"Yes you did as I carried you over the thresh hold," he said

"I knew it," she replied "Go away we don't want any,"

The two lovebirds lay back and Kagome pulled the bedspread over their heads intent on getting some more sleep and going for another round of hot loving before they left. The door flew open and two people stepped in though neither spoke they were strongly sensed by the hiding resting lovebirds dead silence hung heavy in the air. He pulled the top of the covers down revealing them to their party crashers

"You are to late we are mated," the grinning young male said

"And married," Kagome added proudly flashing her wedding ring at the pair standing before them

The two stood in silence then smiled like kids getting gifts on Christmas morning "That's wonderful," they exclaimed

"Hah, what," the mates responded

"Let me explain kiddies "Hitomi is Kagome's mother she and I had planned an arranged marriage between you two. You disappeared we thought you took off with other people or just up and left town or the country,"

"Yes he and I met in the park got to know each other and decided since neither of you were choosing anyone after all these years that we'd do it for you, we exchanged pictures and everything," Hitomi explained

"Allow me to introduce myself I am Sugimi Taisho Sesshoumaru's father," Sugimi said to Kagome

"Father in law? Kagome replied

"Yes my dear and we'd like grand pups," he stated

Sesshoumaru, and Kagome both gulped Sugimi gloatingly grinned and that is when an evil thought formed in Sesshoumaru's mind "So father when are you and Hitomi to be married?

"Hehehe" Kagome laughed "I would just love some little brothers and sisters,"

"Uh, I um," Sugimi, and Hitomi stammered

"Mate you call the monk and I shall make arrangements at the temple," Sesshoumaru said

"Deal" Kagome replied then reached for the hotel phone, Sesshoumaru his cell phone, next all that was seen were two streaks zooming out of the room

"Now where were we? Sesshoumaru teasingly asked then he and Kagome started another round of mating

Story 3

Growing pains

"Sniff, sniff,"

"What's with you? Kagome asked

"Sniff your pupped" how the hell did that happen? Inuyasha said

"Pupped? Miroku, and Sango exclaimed looking at one another with wide eyes

"Well genius if I knew that then I could tell you" now couldn't I? Kagome wisecracked

"Real funny wench" who's the father? It better not be that wimpy wolf" he griped

"You tell me you're the one with canine sense of smell," Kagome shot back

'Oh you're so funny not,"

"Maybe you're the daddy," she said

"I think I'd remember us doing that Ka-go-me," Inuyasha replied

"Not if you were drunk ya wouldn't," she needled

"Fine but I'll find out when he or she is born smart ass" what then?

8 months later

Screams of agony tore through the hut as another searing pain ripped throughout her body Kagome would have to say that this was the most agonizing thing she'd ever experienced it was times like this that she wished she was on drugs. Another labor pain hit with the force of a hammer she screamed the males cringed Kouga, Inuyasha, and Miroku had survived mortal injuries numerous battles and attacks but had never experienced anything like this before and secretly prayed they never would again

"Oh man thank god I'm not female knowing this there'd be no pups from me," Inuyasha exclaimed

"Same here," Kouga said

"I have the happy horrors," Miroku exclaimed

"Ahhhhh" Kagome shrieked

"Push Kagome ye need to push," Keade instructed

"I am, get that damn kid out of me," Kagome yelled

Crying was heard "It's out now I can get a look," Inuyasha said

"Ow, what the fuck is going on?" Kagome cursed

"Ye have a second one," Keade

"Second? Inuyasha exclaimed

'Seems the father was not shooting blanks," Miroku joked

"Really duh we're so dumb we didn't know that," Inuyasha wisecracked

"Gods damned men this is what happens when you let them touch you. Ahhh I'm gonna die," Kagome cursed

"Another boy," Keaded announced as new cries were heard

"Oh thank gods it's over," relieved Kagome exclaimed

"I fear not," Keade replied as she felt Kagome's belly then another cry of pain echoed

"Gods damn it what is this ouch an army?" the furious miko shrieked in pain "Men we should castrate them at birth they plant the seeds and the sons of bitches suffer no pain we get stuck doing all the dirty work," Kagome ranted "And to think an amazing night of out of this world humping led to this,"

Cries rang "A third boy," Assisting Sango said

"No more gods please no more," Kagome wailed

"Wow wench has her own army," Inuyasha whispered

"Wonder who the father is? Miroku asked

"We'll know in a minute," Inuyasha exclaimed

"Yep one sniff," Kouga started

"And one look will tell," Inuyasha added

"Think we can get a look without getting killed? Miroku asked

"Don't care I'm going in anyway," Inuyasha told them

"Wait Inuyasha I sense something," Miroku warned putting a hand on his shoulder

"What that your fundoshi is in a twist and reeks?" the smartass hanyou teased

"No gods damn it no son of a bitch," Kagome swore

"Holy shit another one damn wench was carrying a litter," Inuyasha mumbled

"And I feel this shall be the last one," Miroku stated

"A fourth boy," Sango exclaimed the baby released ihis first cry

"Ye are finished Kagome there are none left," Keade told her

"Thank you kami one more and I think I'd have slit my own throat,"

Inuyasha barged in "Can we see them?

Sango and Keade began showing them the four boys "Well boys what do you have to say? Sango asked with a smirk

"Gasp, hah, what?"

"Well say something you," Sango replied

"Miroku that's you," Inuyasha said pointing to one of the boys

"And that's you," Miroku told him pointing to another

"And th, that's me," Kouga stammered and landed flat on his ass

"Hm exact duplicates of their daddies" don't you agree? Sango needled looking at the three mini versions of Miroku, Kouga, and Inuyasha

"Hey wait a minute who's is the fourth one," Keade pulled back the cover on the fourth boys face "What how the hell did Sesshoumaru get in there?"

"I should think without asking you would already know the answer to your own question fool," Sesshoumar said as he entered the hut smacking Inuyasha upside the head

"I I'm a daddy," Inuyasha gasped

"Yes as are all of us," Sesshoumaru replied

"But how come none of us can remember doing it with her? Inuyasha asked

"You always had rust in your head instead of a brain," Sesshoumaru jabbed

"See look at that we get all the pain and they get all the pleasure," Kagome griped "Men castrations to kind for them,"

Sometime later

"What was that? Sango asked after hearing a scream

"I know that scream anywhere Kagome," Inuyasha said then ran into the hut followed by the others when they entered she was feeling her body as if checking

"Everything is still there check," she lifted the bed covers and looked "Flat belly check, no pain double check, no pups check. Phew thank god," Kagome exclaimed

"Pups no pain flat belly? Wench what in hell are you going on about? Inuyasha asked

"It was a dream thank gods it was only a dream it felt and seemed so real," she replied

"What was only a dream? Sango asked Kagome told them

"Mutt face, the monk, and me, and then Sesshoumaru had pups with you at the same time holy mother that is a good one," Kouga said

"Yep thank gods I'm not pupped," Kagome exclaimed

"Oh but you are," a smooth deep voice said everyone turned to see Sesshoumaru entering

"What? Oh real funny so funny I forgot to laugh" Kagome said "Enough with the jokes that dream was bad enough,"

"Oh but I assure you that you are very much pupped," he told her

"Yeah right come on stop pulling my chain,"

"You are and everyone knows I do not speak untruths," he reminded

"Yup he may be lord cold ass stick in the mud but he doesn't lie," Inuyasha said

"What is this dream you speak of? Sesshoumaru questioned she explained it to him "Interesting"

"Hey wait a minute she's pupped you say so why are you here?" Kagome smirked "You and fluff over there, for how long? Inuyasha asked

"Three months," Sesshoumaru answered

"Sneaky bastard," Inuyasha exclaimed

"Oh please gods tell me it's not four like in my dream," Kagome pled

"No he is a healthy male," Seshoumaru told her "You will only carry three months then have him,"

"Congratulations," the others said in unison

"Come miko it is time that I officially mark you and make you my mate,"

"Fluffys getting married," Inuyasha ragged

"Yup and fluffys going to be getting some," Kagome needled

"Geez wench I did not need to know that" when are ya going to stop doing that?

"Never it's too much fun watching you cringe," she teased

"Oh wenchy poo four pups," Inuyasha jabbed "Awesome, hah?"

"When I come back I'm killing you," Kagome promised

"I'll be waiting sweetness,"

Story 4

Riling The Miko

Sesshoumaru had for several days been watching watched Inuyasha, and Kagome battling and unexpectedly found he really enjoyed it a lot he thought it very humorous when the little miko was a holy terror. He spent two weeks watching the pair going at it while doing so saw that their friends the monk and slayer also took great pleasure in it, one particular day was his favorite

"Oh no you don't every time you have one of test things you're gone y for two days then I have to go and get you," Inuyasha complained

"Okay then big boy let's make this fair no Kikyo for a month," Kagome replied

'Ouch miko score one little brother zero' Sesshoumaru thought and laughed he loved Inuyasha's stunned silence and whiter then snow face

"What? Kagome don't be stupid" Inuyasha responded

"It's fair no school for me no Kikyo for you now man up" how about three months with no ramen?

"Nooooo" he wailed "I'll starve to death Kagome that is low rotten and cruel sadistic mean wench,"

"No smart wench, ya got to give if you wanna get," she needled

"Damn all wenches are from hell," he grouched and stomped away in defeat

"Hah my work is done,"

It was new and began when Sesshoumaru stopped by one day "What the hell do you want fuzz ball? Inuyasha bit

"Obviously not you flea breeding farm," Sesshoumaru shot back

"Good coming from he who in dog form is a giant floor duster," Inuyasha shot back grinning afterward

This is how a new match began

Sesshoumnaru slowly worked it to get the ball rolling and got what he wanted "Annoying harping she devil,"

"Prince running mouth Acuma's reject from hell," Kagome shot back

"Princess frigid know it all but in reality knows nothing,"

"Prince comes to quick and I do mean to quick," she shot back

"Queen can't keep a snake interested long enough for it to spit,"

"Sad"

"What is sad is that you lost this battle long before the war even started," he smugly needled

"No poor puppy that your penis is the one with the brain poor overworked little man,"

"Whoa the dick slam I feel the burn all the way over here, that is one hundred point score fluffy maybe three," Inuyasha exclaimed

"That cave of yours is so barren from never being used all the bats fled for their lives years ago only dust and cob webs remain and sadly the poor spiders died trying to escape," Sesshoumaru jabbed

"Shit that is an easy one hundred and fifty points for Sessh," Sango said

"I praise the king," Miroku added

"Damn Sang you're a girl and your siding with the dog," Inuyasha exclaimed

"You keep score for the girls and I'll keep score for the boys," grinning Sango answered

"Gender traitor I love it what the hell deal,"

"Really? You're so pure you could be a monk . You should hang out with Miroku and learn a few things at least he makes an effort," Kagome insulted

"Cough, cough holy crap," Miroku said after the tea in his mouth sprayed across the ground "A dagger plunged below the waist line,"

"You consider ass groping making an effort," in a flash Kagome was laid across his lap being spanked "Is this enough of an effort for you? Sesshoumaru asked

"Why you, you dirty dog let me go now," she demanded

"No not until after you've finished you discipline naughty miko,"

"Damn you I'm going to roast you and feed you to other demons as dog treats,"

An idea struck Kagome she managed to get one hand far enough to under his legs enabling her to reach her target she smirked. Sesshoumaru suddenly felt his male treasure tingling along with a warming sensation. Simultaneously he halted his movements his eyes widened and shock covered his face when he and the others saw the pink glow of her miko powers

"Oh shit she's really going to do it she's going to purify fluffys tree trunk off," Inuyasha exclaimed

"Now that would be a crime," Sango said

"She wouldn't," Miroku stated

Suddenly Sesshoumaru let go of her and Kagome wasted no time quickly getting back onto her feet and took off into the forest. Once the initial shock wore off and his senses were restored his lips turned up into a devious smile. Then all that was seen was a streak passing by as it disappeared into the woods Inuyasha was curious now

"Oh shit this is bad," Inuyasha exclaimed

"How so? Miroku asked

"Because he smiled,"

"Yeah so?" Sango replied

"He only smiles just before someone dies and usually he's the one doing the killing. And on rare occasions it is before he seriously injures someone," Inuyasha explained

"Aw come on Inuyasha you saw it she did not really purify his male pride off he wouldn't really kill her for warming it a little," Sango said

"You guys stay here I can get to them faster than you I'll be back," the concerned hanyou told them then took off running at top speed

"I can hardly wait to see what happens," Miroku said

Inuyasha tracked his brother and Kagome it did not go as quickly or as easily as he would have liked because of Sesshoumaru's speed "Damn flying show off," Inuyasha mumbled

He continued tracking and about an hour later he came up on a densely covered with thick foliage patch of forest and stopped when he heard voices "Aggravating verbally castrating wench," Sesshoumaru insulted

"Pompous egotistical boring make a woman's blood run cold ice prince," Kagome replied

"Frigid ice burg ah you witch,"

'Shit is she zapping his dick again? Inuyasha thought "Damn she is deadly oh well at least they haven't killed each other yet,"

"I, I ha hate you," Kagome said

'Damn they've been fighting so long wench is tired and almost out of breath' Inuyasha thought

"Bi bitch," Sesshoumaru replied

"Bastaaaaard," she shrieked

'"Sniff, what the hel! Inuyasha started to ask in his mind then stopped as it hit him he looked then immediately fled

Back at camp

Inuyasha returned flustered looking like he was in a state of shock like he had just seen a corpse rise from the dead "So Inuyasha is everything okay? Inwardly smirking Miroku asked

"What happened? Where are they? Sango asked

"They, they were," Inuyasha started then couldn't finish

"They were what? Miroku, and Sango asked

Inuyasha gulped three mouth fulls of strong sake "They were fight fucking,"

"Fight fucking? Miroku, and Sango repeated in unison

"Yup" remember how they were fighting before they left?

"Yes I do," Miroku answered

"You mean argued then did it? Makes sense it does make the sex hotter and the pleasure more intense"

"No they were fighting and fucking at the same time that's why it's called fight fucking. Oh my poor virgin eyes are burning my innocent brain is bleeding from the horror I'll never be the same," Inuyasha told them then shared the rest of the experience with them

"Wow those nasty insults while making love," Miroku commented

"I never thought mister refined always in control never loses his cool or swears Sessh was such a dirty talking freak. He called her a bitch and she called him a bastard while climaxing," Inuyasha said

"Kagome I am so proud of you," Miroku exclaimed

"Hehehe sweet little Kagome is a kinky hentai go Kagome," Sango praised

"So tell me did Sesshoumaru shift his hips or hold to the left? Miroku asked to freak out the poor shaken as it was hanyou to get a rise

"Like I know or want to know that you perverted asshole," Inuyasha replied "Sake I need more sake,"

"Kagome didn't purify Sesshoumaru's jewels she used her powers to turn him on," Sango said

Twenty minutes after downing a bottle and a half of sake Inuyasha began to feel the full effects of it hitting him full force yep he was one happily stoned smiling hanyou. Three hours passed then Sesshoumaru came back acting as if nothing had happened Miroku was barely hiding a proud perverted smile

"Hey big bro slipped that knot, hah?' Inuyasha started

"What nonsense is this you speak of? Sesshoumaru asked

"Bi bitch," Inuyasha answered with a big knowing smirk "Bastaaaaard" What the hell happened to just calling each others names while busting a nut?

"You, you followed us?" indignant Kagome said at the same time entering the camp

"Yeah stupid me was worried you two were gonna kill each other. Didn't expect or want to see fight fucking,"

"You little weasel I am so going to murder you," Kagome bit and lunged for him

"Getting old wench ah wait all fight fucked out, hah?" he ragged

"Let go put me down fluffy," Kagome griped arms and legs flailing as she was lifted off her feet by Sesshoumaru

"You will not be committing any murders," he replied

"Oh sure you pompous ass one dog always sticks up for the other,"

"And some mouthy wenches continuously need discipline repeatedly," Sesshoumaru needled

"When I get loose your one dead rotten dirty dog,"

"You are an annoying nagging complaining she demon so aggravating that acuma kicked you out of and from hell permanently," he shot back setting her back on her feet

"Yeah I'll give you till the count of ten head start so haul your nuts in and run for your life, ten,"

"Idol threats from a weak female what a waste," he insulted then took off the chase was on

"You know those two will be going at it when their old and decrepit, all hell I mean hail fight fucking," Inuyasha said with slurred speech

"A men to that," Sango, and Miroku added and the three shared sake in celebration