"What do you mean you're leaving?" Arthur asks Merlin incredulously.

"Just what I said…I'm leaving. Arthur, Morgana and I have been married for thirteen years, I want to do something special with her."

"Clara just had a birthday! Don't you want to…ya know…spend time with her or something?"

Merlin rolls his eyes. He is sitting with Arthur and Gwaine at the tavern, he does not know how he keeps ending up here…but he does. They are drinking their mead and the king cannot comprehend why Merlin would want to leave the kingdom, at all…let alone if something happens. Gwaine pats Merlin on the back.

"I'd do it if I were you my friend! Every man needs time alone with his wife, a moment of celebration…love." The knight wiggles his eyebrows at Merlin, the warlock rolls his eyes.

"We do that plenty Gwaine, I want to…ya know…do something else with her."

Arthur gags. Gwaine raises an eyebrow.

"Losin the spark my friend?"

Merlin suddenly busts out laughing, holding his sides. Gwaine looks startled, Arthur looks sick. The warlock wipes a tear from his eyes, his sides hurt.

"Gwaine…oh Gwaine…no certainly not. Trust me, I please my wife in ways you cannot comprehend…and she always returns the favor…in spades."

The warlock's eyes darken, Gwaine's eyes widen, and poor Arthur is keeled over. Both men look over as the kings hand shoots up, grasping the wood as he lifts himself up.

"Please…dear God…can we please stop talking about this?"

"Oi why not? It is my deeplovin that keeps Morgana all nice and not evil."

"No that is her children, Merlin, your…lovin only riles her up and makes me worried it will one day drive her to be evil again!"

"It'll not drive her mad! I am a good, noble, husband. I always make sure she is satisfied first."

"AH STOP DEAR LORD JUST STOP!"

Poor Arthur has put his hands over his ears, his head on the table, the other two men roar in laughter. Merlin pats his friends back.

"Arthur…Arthur come on he's sorry, we will not talk about Merlin's sexual escapades with his wife any longer."

The king lifts his head and shoots Merlin a look.

"As your king I order you to neverspeak of what you do in your bedchambers again."

Merlin sips his ale.

"Well I always was a rebel."

Arthur sighs, Gwaine laughs and Merlin smiles.

"Alright can we get back on topic. Merlin, you, trip with Morgana. When do you leave?"

Silence.

"Tomorrow…"

"Merlin! You can't just leave tomorrow! Have you notified Rebecca?"

The warlock looks down.

"Actually…that's kind of the problem. We had given Rebecca this month off to go visit her family in West Point. I was kind of hoping…you two could help me."

Gwaine and Arthur stare at each other.

"Us?"

"Well yea. I know Guinevere left to go on pilgrimage to the north to meet with the lords and took the children, I was only hoping that you Arthur, as Balinor's godfather, and you Gwaine, as Clara's godfather…would help me out, just this once."

Both men's mouths hang open, what is he on?

"What about Percival? He's Will's godfather."

"He went on the pilgrimage with Guinevere." Arthur supplies.

"Merlin, mate, that is a lot to ask on such short notice. Why the rush?"

Merlin looks to the side, a smile on his face.

"I didn't want Morgana to have a vision. I found out that one of her triggers is choice, when people make one she can receive a vision quickly. She does not know we are leaving, it is a surprise."

Gwaine's eyes soften, he does envy Merlin's happiness. He knows he is a good husband, and she a good wife. She has spent many hours redeeming herself, he should help his friend.

"Aye, I will help you Merlin."

The warlock's eyes light up.

"Really Gwaine?"

"I will as well." Arthur says dejectedly.

"Really?"

"Yes, you and my sister have done much for Camelot and Albion, the least I can do is let you two have a vacation. You said two weeks?"

"Yes!"

"Go home and pack your bags Merlin, me and Arthur will take care of anything else."

The warlock smiles. He stands up, bringing his mead to his lips, downing the liquid, wiping his lips on the side of his sleeve then swiftly exiting the tavern. When he is out of sight Arthur turns to Gwaine, whose head is in his hands, the king speaks.

"This is a bloody awfully idea."

"Yes we are so screwed."

Morgana is glowing when Arthur and Gwaine come out to greet them. The woman loves surprises, especially because it is particularly hard to give her any. Their kids are standing tall to the side, Clara hugging the stuffed tiger she got for her most recent birthday. Merlin has Morgana up in his arms and she is quite giddy, Arthur will note that it is nice to see his sister so happy. Bruce and Angela stand to the side with the horses. When she spots the two she runs over to them, first enveloping Arthur in a hug.

"Oh thank you so much Arthur! I know my children can be a handful, this is too kind of you."

She pulls from him and he smiles.

"Of course Morgana, I am just happy you have gotten such a wonderful surprise."

She turns to Gwaine who swoops her up and twirls her around, she laughs in merriment. He puts her down and looks at her with his goofy grin.

"Thank you Gwaine, I know your goddaughter can be a handful. I hope they will not cause you two too much trouble."

He stands from her and kisses her knuckles, then sending her his signature wink.

"I think I can handle her, she is just outgoing Morgana, she takes after her godfather."

Morgana rolls her eyes and goes over to her children. All three hug their mother and father giving them kisses and telling them "I love you." Clara holds onto Merlin's boot and asks three times if she can go with them, small tears in her eyes. The sorcerer kneels down in front of her.

"Not this time Clara, Mama and Papa need alone time for a while. When we get back we will all go do something fun, besides guess who will be taking care of you?"

The six year old wipes her eyes and sniffles.

"Rebecca?"

Merlin shakes his head. Gwaine comes behind Merlin and Clara's eyes lighten up. She breaks from her father and sprints over to her godfather.

"Godpapa Gwaine!"

He picks her up and twirls her around. The little girl is elated.

"Yes my little sunspot?"

"You will be babysitting me while Mama and Papa are gone?"

"Indeed I will little lady."

The little girl squeals in delight as she squeezes Gwaine's neck, he smiles and runs his fingers through her hair, Morgana smiles behind them.

"Were spending two weeks with Gwaine?" Balinor asks, his eyebrow raised.

"And me of course." Arthur approaches them.

"All right! Can we go hunting Uncle Arthur?" Balinor asks, excitement in his voice.

"I think that is a great idea!"

"Arthur-" Merlin starts.

"No, you are leaving, I can do what I want with my godson."

Both Balinor and Arthur nod, Arthur's hand on Balinor's shoulder.

The only one left is Will, he looks up from his mother's skirts.

"Is my godfather not here Mama?"

Morgana looks to Merlin, she bites her lip as she kneels down in front of her son.

"He is on pilgrimage with the queen. He would have gladly watched over you if he were here."

The boy looks dejected.

"Then who will take care of me?"

Morgana shoots Merlin a look, the man looks to his friends. Gwaine smiles.

"Come here little Will, you know you can have both me and Arthur watch you."

The young boy looks up shyly.

"Really?"

"Of course Will! Would you like to take your bow out into the woods for our hunt?" Arthur asks.

The young boy's eyes light up, his fists come down then throw into the air.

"Would I ever!"

Morgana sighs, crisis averted. She hugs and kisses her children one more time, before Merlin pulls at her arm and forces her onto the horse. Bruce and Angela have already mounted theirs.

"Goodbye my wonderful children!"

They all wave to their parents.

"Bye Papa and Mama!"

Gwaine sends Arthur a look, this is going to be interesting indeed.

The first two days go by without incident. Apparently the fear of God has been put into these children for they act very responsible. The third day is the hunt. Arthur likes to remember it as the beginning of the snowball.

"All right I cannot wait!" Will says, his bow thrusted into the air.

They are walking along, Will on the ground tracking a boar, Balinor and Arthur with him. Gwaine is riding with Clara in front of him on his saddle, she is playing quietly with her stuffed toys.

"Here Godpapa Gwaine you be the tiger!" The girl says in amusement.

"Why thank you little Clara, I would love to be the tiger."

He trots along, one hand on the reigns, one playing with the tiger, the little girl giggling the whole time, it is quite soothing. Then the air cracks.

"YES!"

Gwaine watches from the horse as Will picks up a rabbit shaking the dead animal in the air.

"Do you always have to act that way when you kill something? It is quite annoying." Balinor points out.

"Oh don't fret Bali, someday you will grow up and learn how to hunt as well."

"Oi I can hunt. You use a stupid bow and arrow, I use a real mans weapon." He shakes his spear at Will.

"Oh that primitive piece of junk? Get with the times Bali, bows and arrows are the wave of the future."

"I'll show you wave of the future!" Balinor lunges at his brother.

The younger Alwin darts away laughing as his brother chases him, Arthur running to grab Balinor.

"Balinor stop, he is just riling you up. Will, don't taunt your brother."

The boy makes faces at Balinor, they glare at one another. Arthur feels his hands heat up from Balinor's shoulders.

"Oooo hot!"

The boys don't even look at their Uncle, combat has started.

The next week has become a disaster. Will woke up the next morning, after the hunt, with green slime all over his bed. That afternoon he retaliated by releasing powder all over Balinor in the middle of the hall. Then there was the balls Clara left in the hall, the young girl just had to be included. So her older brothers put wax over her dress and she watched it crack in half. Then, during dinner, Balinor put gas tonic in Wills food, everyone suffered during that meal.

It has been going on like this for a week and a half, the poor king and knight want it to be over.

"Can we die now Arthur?" Gwaine is leaning on him.

He has been chasing Clara all around the castle. The only way to stop the pranks is when they are present with the children, then they do not have time to mix any potions. So Clara is now playing keep away, mainly keeping herself away so she can plan her next attack.

"I want to die. Every time I see one of the boys, they either shape shift and scurry away, or Balinor has this fun trick where he calls Kilgarrah and jumps on the dragon's back. I can't win!"

"Do not say that sire! We have not lost a battle yet! This is for Camelot!" Gwaine pumps his fist in the air as he huffs.

Arthur shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

"This isn't war Gwaine, it's a ten, eight, and six year old. We should be able to defeat them."

As the words pass his lips, he hears the sounds of a river and a drop of liquid falls on his nose. Both men look up, and above their heads, swirling in midair is water. They look straight ahead and see Clara and Will, malicious smirks on their faces, Will's finger moving softly with the water. Arthur and Gwaine look back up.

"No-!"

And now they can add being wet to the list of disasters.

"Plúr!" Clara screams.

And covered in flour.

"One more day, just one more day…" Arthur breaths.

He and Gwaine have now become the center of attack from all three children. Balinor found out what his brother and sister did and the king was impressed at how he handled his younger siblings. He was a role model for a moment, standing tall, dictating them on decorum. That is…until…he said an incantation and they were both covered in wood shavings as well. That's how you do it guys! Traitor…

Gwaine and Arthur have been hiding ever since, attempting to run from attacks. The only problem…is when they are alone, the kids do not just pull pranks. Sometimes there is shouting, which ends up with something on fire, or a storm starting, or the horses getting loss or…the poor king needs a vacation. Arthur finds Gwaine behind a tree, the knight looks frighten.

"My friend what are you doing."

"I can't go out there."

"What?"

"I can't do it sire! I just can't! Their…their out there! Their coming for us!"

Arthur slaps Gwaine in the face. Then grabs the man's shoulders.

"Pull yourself together man! We need each other to get through this!"

Gwaine nods, both men stand.

"Are you ready?"

"I am always ready to serve with you sire."

They exchange a longing look.

"Ok…one…two…three…CHARGE!"

"AHHH!"

They run out towards the castle, swords drawn as they race towards the three. Balinor's eyes just glow and suddenly both the king and knight are upside down, floating in the air. Clara giggles and claps, she comes up and pulls on their capes. Will high fives his brother.

"Nice work Bali."

"Thank you Will. Couldn't have done it without your research."

"Haha their upside down! Their faces are really red! Look tiger there is sweat all over their brows! Uncle Arthur can I wear your crown?"

"You most certainly-"

Will grabs the crown and places it on his sisters head, she claps in delight and skips off towards the castle. Balinor and Will nod to their uncles, and turn to follow their sister inside.

"She got my crown…in only thirteen days she stole my crown…"

Silence.

"Took Morgana a whole year."

Merlin and Morgana arrive the next day, Arthur will note how happy his sister looks. She has seated herself in front of Merlin, his hands around her on the reigns. Her head is back, and she is kissing his jaw, the warlock seems overly pleased with himself. Gwaine sends Arthur a determined look, they both steel themselves, all three kids sprint from their uncle's sides and run towards their parents.

"Mama, Papa!"

Morgana gets down and scoops them all into a hug, kissing each of their heads.

"My children, how are you? Did you have fun with Uncle Arthur and Uncle Gwaine while we were gone?"

"Mama, we had the best time! Can they always babysit us?"

Balinor turns slightly, a sinister grin on his face, reminding Arthur of Morgana when she was evil, he shudders. Merlin dismounts, he kisses each of his children then advances on Arthur and Gwaine.

"So how much do you two want to kill me?"

"I'm putting you in the stocks for a year."

"That bad?"

"Merlin, mate, I am always one to side with you over Arthur, but dear God man, your kids were a bloody nightmare."

Merlin laughs, both men look horrified.

"Sorry, there is a reason we have magical users watching them. Morgana has given birth to three of the most powerful magical users Camelot has ever seen. I know magical watchers are the only ones who could rear them in. Let me guess, when you punished them they would just disappear or play a prank on you?"

Both men nodded dumbly, the warlock laughs harder.

"You're a bloody awful friend Merlin." The sorcerer has tears in his eyes.

"Oi, I am sorry. I guess I'll just know for the future who to consult when it comes to tormenting you."

Morgana walks up to the trio with Clara in her arms, Merlin laughing, poor Gwaine and Arthur looking appalled.

"Clara just gave me a present Arthur." The woman smirks as she hands him his crown.

"Mama I was queen! Just like you!"

"Oh my dear daughter, I never stopped being queen."

Arthur rolls his eyes as the magical family walks past them, laughing merrily into the castle. The two men look at each other.

"We can't do anything about this can we?"

"Gwaine, this is a moment I would like to call surrender. Just be happy they are on our side."

"Bloody hell indeed…"

Fin.

Oh Bliss universe...why can't I stay away! I also have another one sitting in my folder just waiting to be posted! Well this little oneshot came from Stephy-Lou Clark-Weasley, well the plot did. She sent me a pm and asked me to write a one shot about Arthur and Gwaine babysitting...and have it end in disaster. I COUDLN'T RESIST! So heres the end result XD Hope you like it Stephy!

As always, reviews = love, and happy reading!