Author's note: This is a rewrite of an original story I published long ago. It was recently stolen a few times so I've made some changes to the storyline and to the previous chapters.

Warning: Adult content

Disclaimer: Do not own Glee. Do not own lyrics or copyright to John Legend's All of Me.

You can also check my profile for the link to my Polyvore account if you want to see what the outfits look like.

Hope you enjoy! Please Review!

11:00 A.M.

All four of them are in the bed laughing together when Deborah walks in, a duffel bag and his guitar case in hand.

"Hey, Ma," he says, scooting Rachel off of his lap so he can grab the bag from his mother.

"Hello, Noah," she answers, watching as Rachel cuddles closer to the twins as soon as Puck leaves the bed.

Rachel only agreed to lie down after she yawned for the millionth time and he promised to hold her. She knows she's being irrational, but her fear of beds isn't going away anytime soon. She can just barely tolerate enough to be somewhat comfortable when he's around. She can't really explain why either, she just knows bad things happen to her because of them and she'd rather be safe than sorry. His warmth however, is the perfect distraction. She could sleep for hours upon hours in his arms.

"I thought you were taking the day off?" Rachel asks, noting the woman's casual attire.

"Oh, I am," she laughs quietly. "I just came to check up with everyone and to bring you some fresh clothes and toiletries."

"Yea, right," Puck says, rolling his eyes. "You just came to get the scoop on the latest gossip here in the hospital so you can yap on and on about it at dinner while me and Bekah pretend to be interested."

His face is serious, but his tone is playful and Deborah is happy her son is in a teasing mood. It could have been much, much worse. She was prepared to come in and do damage control, but she could tell she wasn't needed.

She's just about to come back with something witty to annoy her only son, but she notices the sudden frown on Rachel's face.

"Rachel, honey, what's the matter?" the older woman asks.

Immediately Puck is by her side. He lifts her carefully and tucks her into his lap, her back against his chest. He strokes her hair comfortingly, but she doesn't answer. Her head drops to her lap and she toys with the bow in Nova's hair as a distraction.

"Babe?" Puck questions when Rachel refuses to answer.

She looks up at him with tearful brown eyes and his heart breaks. She turns to Deborah. "Are you…I mean…do you gossip about your patients?" she finally asks quietly.

"What?" Deborah asks in complete shock.

"When you and the other nurses are talking, do you talk about your patients?" she clarifies.

"No, sweetheart, it's against policy," Deborah answers hesitantly. She's not sure why Rachel would ever ask such a question, but she doesn't like it one bit. "We talk about personal things like who's kid did what and who's dating who. We talk about silly little things that keep us entertained throughout the day."

"Oh, I just supposed you did. I mean, what's better to laugh at than the stupid girl who cuts herself and lets her ex-boyfriend beat her in front of her children," Rachel spits.

"So it was St. James who did this?" Puck asks, his voice rising in anger.

"Rachel, Noah, please everyone calm down," Deborah demands scooping up her grandchildren. She places a kiss on each of their foreheads to calm their trembling lips and watery green eyes. She holds them tightly, one on each hip. She's in full out mother-mode right now.

"Rachel, I don't know why you would ever think that the hospital staff or anyone for that matter would speak that way about your current condition. And Noah, control your temper. We don't need any more holes in the walls from you."

"He hurt her. Jesse St. James hurt the mother of my children and you're asking me to keep calm?" Puck says, outraged.

"Yes, Noah, and I'm not asking you. I'm telling you to keep calm. What're you proposing to do? March all the way to New York City and beat him up like the big tough guy you are? No," Deborah shakes her head sternly. "Your place is right here with Rachel and your children. That is why we have police officers and detectives who will properly handle the situation."

"Police?" Rachel squeaks. She begins to feel faint and she trembles in Puck's arms. The last time the police were involved there was a trial. And the last time there was a trial she nearly ended her life.

"Nice one, Ma," Puck snaps. He'd been meaning to tell Rachel about the report of domestic violence that was filed by the hospital staff, but he'd had a million other things on his mind. He continues stroking her hair in attempt to calm her and himself as well, but she only cries harder. He stands from the bed, untangling himself from her and the moment Rachel's alone in the bed she resorts to full on hysterics. His temper flares and his fists ball up in rage. He's just about to aim right for the window seal when Rachel screams his name and his fist halts mid-air.

"You promised!" Rachel yells from the bed, her finger pointing out at him and Deborah notices the sparkling ring on her finger. She cocks an eyebrow in surprise, but remains silent, her attention centered on keeping her grandchildren calm.

Puck turns and his shoulders slump in defeat. Deborah watches as Rachel buries her face in her hands and cries as her son scoops her into his lap again, kissing her head. He takes deep breaths, inhaling her sweet smell, until he feels he's calm enough to speak. "No, baby, there won't be any police involvement if you don't want there to be. We can figure this out later, after you're home and safe. I promise."

It's his last two words that have her cries slowly to hiccups and her brown eyes focused on his. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that or freaked out like that. This is just all so much to handle right now," Rachel whimpers.

"It's alright, sweetheart," Deborah coos, carrying the twins back toward the bed. Her heart has never been broken and full at the same time until now. Watching the pain Rachel struggles with and the love her son has for the poor girl both makes her chest ache with sadness and swell with pride. She can't decipher which one is the stronger emotion, but it doesn't matter. Her family does.

"It's a big adjustment, Rach, we're gonna get through it together. You don't have to apologize anymore," Puck whispers and Deborah swears he took the words right out of her mouth.

Deborah lets them have their moment content with rocking her grandchildren until their emerald eyes begin to flutter. "Rachel, I hate to do this do you, but the twins are getting sleepy. I think it's best if you say goodbye now while everyone is still remotely calm."

To both her and Puck's surprise, Rachel nods and holds her arms out. She takes each twin and kisses them chastely on the forehead, tears building in the corner of her eyes. "I love you so much, my babies," she whispers and they grip her hospital gown so tightly it nearly rips. "We have to be apart for a few days and I know you don't understand why, but I promise when we're together again everything will be okay. I'm going to be the best mother to you two, I promise. I'm going to miss you so much, please know that this isn't goodbye forever."

She gives them one last kiss before their eyes slip closed and Deborah has to physically pry their tiny fists away from Rachel. She holds them both in her arms and watches as Rachel sniffles and tries to hide her tears. Puck turns to Rachel, cupping her face and forcing her to look at him.

"You're doing the right thing, Rach, and you're being so strong. You're already the best mother to them, nothing you can do will ever change the amount of love you three have for each other," he says quietly and she clings to him, burying her face in his chest.

Deborah's eyes fill with tears as she holds her sleeping grandchildren. She looks to Puck-no-she looks to Noah and when he gives her a steady nod, she slips from the room.

11:30 A.M.

It takes her a half an hour to stop crying. Her eyes are red and swollen, her nose is runny, hair's messy, and her cheeks are flushed. It's in this moment of weakness between the both of them that he thinks she's the most beautiful.

She's not frowning, but she's not smiling either. She's not happy, but she's not upset. She knows this is the right thing to do, but she can't bring herself to decipher how exactly she feels about it. Shouldn't doing the right thing make her happy? She finds herself going numb again. The lack of feeling was something she once craved in order to escape the constant pain and now she'd do anything for someone to tell her how to feel.

Almost as if he can sense her distress, he shifts her so she's sitting next to him and grabs her hands. His eyes are gloomy and it causes her some feeling of sadness in her otherwise numb body.

"Rach?" he calls, gaining her attention. "Can I play something for you?"

His question makes her heart race and memories of when she used to sit for hours and sing while her played run through her mind. "Please, Noah," she begs, placing one small hand on his chest. "I feel so empty and alone. I need something to make it go away."

He smiles sadly because even though they're right next to each other, he feels the same way. Alone. They need each other and their family to be whole again and knowing that won't happen for a while makes him feel so many different ways, he ultimately feels nothing. They both know it's wrong.

He lets go of her hand and reaches over to grab his guitar case, setting it across his lap. She watches as his skilled fingers pluck open the locks and remove the instrument, slinging it across his shoulder with ease. He plays through a few random chords before he takes a deep breath causing a shudder to run through her. She feels the warmth beginning to come back before he even begins to sing.

"What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down

What's going on in that beautiful mind?
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

My head's underwater
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind"

He pauses and she smiles letting the words sink in. She was always 'Crazy Berry' to him before they fell in love. She's the girl he spent his entire childhood trying to figure out. He never could understand her obsession with Broadway and that Barbra Streisand chick.

And to her, he was always out of his mind. Always causing trouble and getting into things he wasn't supposed to. He was always taking dares and doing dangerous things, causing poor Deborah premature gray hairs. She could never understand his mischievous behavior. At least not until her son smirked at her for the first time. Mischief, he no doubt inherited from his father, in his green eyes eyes.

He looks up and his eyes lock on hers, questioningly. She nods and he continues, a smile spreading across his handsome face. Her heart flutters.

"Cause all of me, loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing in my head for youMy head's underwater
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

Cause all of me, loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard"

He repeats the chorus again, his eyes shut as he sings every emotion he's feeling. Her eyes fill with tears and her pounding heart swells in her chest. She can feel his love and she wants it more than ever. She was so stupid to ever think otherwise. She needs him and he needs her. That's the way it's always been and the way it's always going to be.

The melody gets softer and softer until it's just him signing and his words melt her heart.

"I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, ohh"

When the last of the chords can no longer be heard in the room, he sets his guitar aside and she wastes no time climbing into his lap. His smiles grows, he could get used to holding her like this again.

"That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. When did you write it?" she asks, her breath tickling his neck.

He licks his suddenly dry lips and reaches down to squeeze her hand. "Right after our first night together. I wanted you to know how special you were to me. I felt like telling you how much I loved you wasn't enough."

She smiles sadly. "It was and will always be enough, Noah. Just you sitting next to me is enough. I don't what I did to deserve someone like you, sometimes I feel like I don't. If I were half as talented as you, I would write you a song, but it wouldn't even compare to what you just did for me. I hope one day I can make you feel as special as you make me feel. Thank you."

He kisses her temple whispering, "You've given me two children, that's pretty damn special. And there's really nothing you can do for me that'll make me feel anymore special than I already do."

She closes her eyes and snuggles into him, letting his warmth spread around her. She presses her ear against his chest and listens to his heart beating and it's a wonderful sound.

"Why didn't you ever sing it to me before?"

He stiffens and her eyes open to search his for answers. "You never gave me a chance. After that night you were always so sad and angry and you were always pushing me away. I thought…I thought for the longest time that you didn't love me anymore and it hurt. I was going to sing it to you as a last resort to save us, but-"

"I didn't listen," she interrupts. "I was senseless and stubborn and hurt and I pushed you away because I was stupid. You were trying so hard to love me and I dumped before you could change my mind."

He takes a deep breath and she sees the tears well up in his eyes. She grabs his hands carefully, turning his palms over in hers. She rubs her fingers over each of his bruised knuckles and brings his hand to mouth to kiss. He can't count the number of times he's done that to her, but the way she cradles his large hands in hers fills him with a warmth he can't describe.

"You know I never stopped, right?" she says, her lips still pressed against his knuckles. He tilts his head in confusion and she clarifies. "Loving you. I never stopped, I don't think I can."

He smiles. "I know you didn't and that's what made it even more shitty. Knowing that you were right there and that you still needed me, but not being able to help you. I felt so unwanted, so used and alone."

She frowns, if anyone knows what it feels like to be used it's her. She's about to apologize, she never wanted to make him feel that way, but he pulls his hands away and stops her. "There's nothing we can say to change the past. There's nothing we can do to erase our mistakes and take away our pain, all we can do is learn from them and move forward. We can't function without each other, babe. It just wasn't meant to be."

She nods against him and leans up to taste his lips. He kisses her gently and his hands weave into her hair, tangling in the thick brown locks. He missed the way the silky strands spill over his knuckles and tickle the backs of his hands. The invisible electric force is back and it's been fully charged. They're drawn together like two magnets. Her tongue surges foreword into his mouth and his hand drops to her lower back. He grunts and the noise triggers awful memories in her mind that are quickly forgotten when she feels his lips on her neck. Her eyes roll into the back of her head and her mouth parts, her breaths coming out in pants.

He hears the slight wheeze in her breaths and he remembers she's still in recovery. As much as he'd like to spend their last few minutes reacquainting his tongue with hers, he knows they need to take things slower until she healed both physically and mentally. He's always been a physical kind of guy, always touching and needing to hold her. It sucks he can't express his need for her the way he wants to. He's never been good with words and what he can't say, his actions can.

He moves his lips back up to her mouth, kissing up her nose to her forehead where he stops and pulls away. His hands still massage her lower back.

"Can you feel them?" she asks, resting her cheek against his chest. "The scars?"

He nods, his chin bumping the top of her head. "There are so many more you can't see," she whispers and he sucks in a breath. "When I come home, I want to tell you everything that happened and how I got each of them. I don't want to hide anything from you anymore. Would that make you uncomfortable?"

"The idea of someone ever putting their hands on you makes me see red, Rach. I'm not gonna lie, it'll probably make me want to strangle whoever did it until their faces turn purple," he replies and she gasps. "Yes, it'll be extremely uncomfortable. Yes, I do kinda want to know everything you've been through. I want you to talk to me, no matter how mad I'll get. When you're ready, I'll listen to anything you have to say."

"Thank you," she replies, kissing his chest.

The nurse she recognizes as Deborah's friend, Joanne, appears in the doorway and he knows it's time for him to go. He clears his throat and kisses her head, his eyes holding all of the promises he'd made to her and to their family. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a silver iPod with headphones and hands it to her.

"All your Broadway music and favorite Celine Dion songs are on there. There are even a few recordings I made for you, some are old and some I just wrote in the last few weeks. I just though you'd want something to keep you entertained and I know how much you love music. You used to be able to get lost in it for hours, I hope it'll be a nice distraction for you," he says and she smiles.

"You're the most amazing man, Noah Puckerman," Rachel replies.

He smiles back. "I know it seems like a long time, but just think of it as progress. I'll be right here with you every step of the way. There's an app on the iPhone I gave you, it lets you video chat if you're allowed. You'll be able to see and talk to me and the twins if you get lonely."

"I don't know if I'll be able to use it, but I will most definitely be asking," she says, managing a smile. If she can at least see her family, it might not make this so hard for her.

"I'll still send you pictures so you can see them in your free time, I wouldn't want you to miss out on any of their cuteness," he says as he heads for the door. "Text me whenever you want, I'll keep my phone in hand at all times."

"Thank you, Noah. I love you and I'll try my hardest to get better," she says and he nods.

"I know you will, babe. I love you more than words can express. Stay strong," he says and with that he's out the door, guitar in hand.

72 hours stands between her, Noah, and her babies. She doesn't like it one bit. She closes her eyes and grips the bedpost, she needs an out and she needs it fast. Her fingers ache to grip a razor blade and drag it across her skin until her anxiety fades, but she's got nothing. Instead she pulls herself up from the bed and winces as she makes her way to the chair by the window. She needs to calm herself before she looses it, she takes deep breathes and pushes everything out of her mind.

"Do you think I could have just five minutes alone before we begin the observation?" she asks quietly, her eyes closed and her mind focusing on her breathing.

Joanne smiles sadly from the doorway. She can see the girl struggling to fight off what looks like the beginnings of a panic attack. The heart monitor beeps as Rachel's pulse increases and the nurse nods. "I'll be back in a couple minutes. Take as much as you need. Someone will be in to help you get dressed and change your bandages before we go."

"Thank you," Rachel manages to mumble as she forces away the sudden rush of nausea.

She wipes her sweaty palms and turns to the bathroom where there is a washbasin and a sponge. Slowly she pulls apart the strings holding together the thin hospital gown and lets it fall to the floor. She fills the bin with warm water and dabs away at small amount of skin that's not covered by bandages. She doesn't even want to imagine the horror of what's beneath them.

She winces as she reaches her arm up to scrub the back of her neck. She knows she shouldn't be doing this on her own and the nurses will probably throw a fit, but she's never had help before. She's always managed to do it on her own, broken bones and all, she's not stopping now.

After she feels somewhat refreshed, she reaches into the duffel bag and pulls out a brush, working through her tangled curls. She has no blow dryer or flatiron so she leaves her hair in its natural curls, something she hasn't done in a long time. Not since Jesse had told her he liked it better straight. He thought it made her look less ethnic and give her a better chance of getting a job on Broadway. She frowns as she runs her fingers through the thick curls, he was right.

She pulls out a pair of soft gray loose fitting pants and a plain black long sleeve t-shirt and manages to pull them onto her body. She's not happy with her appearance, she never really has been. The clothes seem to hide the majority of her scars, but she needs her makeup to cover the rest and there's nothing in the duffel bag. She needs to cover her split lip and her black eye and find something other than the bandage to cover the gash on her forehead. She may not be pretty, but she's always prided herself on looking presentable and right now, she's anything but.

She digs into the bag again and finds a pair of simple pearl earrings, which she puts on, and a bottle of sweet smelling perfume. She smiles knowing Deborah put them into the bag to make her feel better about being stuck here. The small gesture brings tears to Rachel's eyes and she wipes them away with a smile. Maybe there is hope she'll have a loving family one day.

She decides she can't do anything else to fix her problem so she stands there taking deep breaths and thinking of her children to calm herself. She picks up the phone by the window seal and pulls up the pictures Noah had sent her this morning. She lowers herself into the chair as tears fill her eyes. She kisses the screen, running her fingers over their smiling faces. She has to be brave for them.

When she's finally ready, she hides the cell phone in her bra and presses the call button by her bed. When Joanne returns, Rachel moves to stand, but she's overwhelmed by dizziness. The nurse moves quickly and grabs a wheelchair and helps her into it. Rachel moans and grabs her head in pain.

"It's okay," Joanne coos softly. "You probably overexerted yourself when you were dressing. You know you're supposed to call someone, but if you promise not to do it again I won't tell anyone."

Rachel nods through the wave of pain. "I'm sorry, I'm used to doing it on my own."

"Nothing to apologize for, just let me check your bandages and we can get going," the nurse says.

Rachel sits still as Joanne checks her arms and her back. She changes the bandage on her forehead from a white one to a less noticeable flesh colored one and Rachel breathes a sigh of relief. The last thing she wanted was everyone staring at her in group therapy. She wasn't a victim, she didn't need the pity.

She's wheeled down the hall to the elevator where she keeps her head down and away from the nurse at her side, playing with the drawstring on her pants. She can't wait until her stitches come out so she can put regular clothes on, but as of now she can't even lift a finger above her head without doubling over in pain. She feels weak. No, she is weak. That's how she ended up in this mess in the first place. Weakness was an evil thing. She sucks in a breath as the elevator dings and the door opens, revealing another long white hallway.

"Dr. Paige's office is right down this hall," her nurse Joanne says quietly. She'd been by Rachel's side since she arrived at the hospital and Rachel felt oddly comforted by the woman. "You have a one-on-one session with her for an hour and then some free time in the recreational room before group therapy. The group is diverse, not everyone will come from the same background. Some need more help than others, but the main goal is to support each other. Dr. Owens will lead that group and then it'll be time for dinner. After that you'll go to another group session. It'll be different from the first. They others will have backgrounds similar to yourself, it's also led by Dr. Owens since she is specializes in dealing with these sorts of situations."

"You mean rape victims?" Rachel spits maliciously. She doesn't know where her sudden burst of anger came from. She's so deathly afraid of opening up to one person, let alone a group. Her heart hammers in her chest and her palms sweat as she grips onto the arm rests on the wheelchair. Still, she shoves her fear aside refusing to show any more weakness. She's got to remain strong for her family. Her emotions are everywhere and she feels like a complete train wreck. She can't even attempt to pretend she's okay despite her superior acting skills. The only other emotion she can covey truthfully at the moment is anger. Anger at everything. Everyone. But mostly, at herself.

Joanne shakes her head. "Not all. Some may have been abused physically, some mentally. Some may be younger teenagers and some may be older women. Some are even men. The purpose of group therapy is not to surround you with others who have suffered the same horrific incidents such as yourself. It's so you understand that you are not alone."

Not alone. The words echo in her mind, she knows they're not true. She's always been alone.

12:30 P.M.

He's sitting in his truck in the parking lot of the hospital, his stomach in knots. He grips the steering wheel tightly as he takes deep breaths. He has faith in Rachel, he knows she's strong, but he can't help but worry for her. He worries that the observation may be too much for her to handle, that it might have the opposite effect and cause her to run again.

His phone rings and he's drawn away from his thoughts. He sighs and runs his hands over his face before answering. "Hey, Ma."

"Hello, Noah, how's Rachel?" she asks.

"I don't know, I think-I hope-she's okay. She seemed to keep it together when I left, but you know Rachel. And after everything's she's been through I'm worried she'll freak out," he says.

He hears her sigh. "It's like you said, we know Rachel and we know exactly how strong she is. She hasn't given up, even after everything she's been through. She'll be alright, you don't have to worry and sit outside and mope for an hour."

"Half an hour," he grumbles and she laughs.

"Oh, Noah, she's lucky to have someone that cares about her as much as you do," Deborah says.

"How're the twins?" he asks, his mind wondering to his drooling little mini-me and his precious little girl.

"I just put them down for a nap in the living room. They'll probably sleep for a while given the recent sequence of events they've encountered. I think I may join them, it is my day off after all," she says. "Will you be home, soon?"

"Actually, no. I've got a few things to take care of, but when I come home, maybe we can go on that shopping trip you mentioned?" he asks.

"Of course!" she responds excitedly and he can picture the smile on her face. "I'm looking foreword to it!"

They say their goodbyes and he starts his truck, giving one last glance towards the hospital with a small smile on his face and renewed hope in his heart. He turns up the music as he drives and sings along, the smile growing wider and wider. He pulls into the parking lot of the OSU-Lima campus and for once, he feels relief.

He jumps down from his truck with his signature smirk in place and looks around at all the students bustling their way to class, one particularly tall student standing out from the rest.

"No fucking way," he says to himself as he follows the abnormally tall student to the front of a building.

"Didn't know Finny Hudson had it in him to leave his mommy's house and go to big boy school," he calls and the student turns around, his eyes squinted in confusion.

He chuckles as the boy's brown eyes widen and a dopey grin spreads across his face.

"Puck? What's up man?"

"Everything's been crazy, you wouldn't even believe the shit that happened even if I told you," he says, clapping his old friend on the shoulder.

"So what brings you here? I thought you went to OSU main," Finn asks. "I…ugh…didn't get in, go figure, but I watch every game. You've got some killer moves on the field, dude. Man, do I miss it."

"Oh, I do…or I did. I'm transferring here. Family issues, you know," he shrugs.

"I see your mom and Rebekah around quite a bit. Debbie and my mom still have their stupid book club meetings once a month too, she always brings over my favorite cookies," Finn smiles as he licks his lips. "I didn't know you guys were having problems. Is everything okay?"

"It's complicated, but yea, everything's gonna work out okay," he says, the strain of the last few days clear in his voice.

"Hey, you know if you ever need anything you can count on me," Finn says.

"Thanks man," he says, forcing any semblance of sadness away. He may have loved Finn as a brother once upon a time, but he's not about to ruin his badass image now. "I really do appreciate it, especially after all that Quinn drama back at McKinley."

"Hey," Finn says, shaking his head. "The past is in the past, we were young and stupid back then."

He smiles. "I was a real asshole and I'm sorry for ever hurting you. I hope I can make it up to you sometime."

"Well, you could invite me over for a COD marathon," Finn laughs. "You still have that sweet game system set up?"

"Hell yea, man, that'd be awesome!" he says and then frowns. Inviting Finn over would mean telling him about Rachel and the twins. Not that he was ashamed of either of them. He'd proudly climb up the highest mountain and tell the world how much he loves his family. But then there was Rachel. He knew she was strong and he could see it in her eyes that she wanted to be free of her past. He knew she wouldn't want to hide their family from anyone, but he also knew she was in a delicate state. Telling Finn and basically all of Lima about their relationship was risking loosing any progress she'd made and he wasn't willing to do that.

He couldn't hide his children, however. Lima was such a small town. Hell, two of the biggest gossips, Kurt and Mercedes, already knew about the twins. He wouldn't be surprised if everyone at McKinley knew that the infamous Puck had knocked up another girl before graduating college.

He pushed aside his apprehension and held his hand up for a high-five, which Finn gladly reciprocated. "You should stop over tonight if you're not busy," he says. "Unless you're too afraid I'll beat your ass for the hundredth time."

"No way, dude!" Finn exclaims. "You're on!"

He smirks and accepts the challenge at hand. He'll find a way to balance fatherhood and a social life even if he nearly dies of exhaustion. "So where's the administration building around here? Gotta get set up for classes and go job hunting before I can kick you ass in COD."

"I'll take you, it's right over there," he points. "And I know of a job opening if you're interested."

"Dude, I'd take just about any job right about now. I got things to take care of, you know?" He says and Finn nods.

"You still play the guitar?" Finn asks and Noah nods. "There's a new music school that just opened a few weeks ago. Apparently the guitar teacher was a real creep so they fired him and they've been looking for a new one for a while."

"Really? Don't you need a teaching degree and shit to apply?" he asks and Finn shakes his head.

"It's like an after school program. All the kids go to a regular school during the day and then the music school in the afternoon. It's kinda cool too, Mike and Matt teach dance classes there. I was thinking of maybe becoming one of the voice teachers, they always look like they're having a blast."

"You should do it, man!" Noah says as the stop in front of the administration building. "We can do it together, just like old times!"

"Yea," Finn smiles his famous half-smile. "Just like old times!"

1:15 P.M.

She's been sitting in Dr. Paige's office staring at the wall for 15 minutes and neither of them has spoken a single word. Rachel rolls her eyes and picks at invisible lint on her sleeve to hide her growing anxiety. She watches as the blonde doctor clears her throat and re-crosses her legs, her notepad sliding across her lap.

Rachel caves. "Shouldn't you say something to me? I know I'm supposed to talk about what's wrong with me. I've had intensive therapy sessions before."

The woman smiles before answering. "We don't have to talk, we can just sit and enjoy the silence if that's what you'd prefer."

Rachel's face crinkles. "I'd prefer to be with my babies, but you won't let me go leave until I talk so I might as well get it over with."

"This is a free place, you're free to do whatever you want. I'm not here to influence you in any way," Dr. Paige says.

Rachel scowls. "Legally, I'm forced to stay here so no, I cannot do anything I want. They just want to know what's wrong with me and who's responsible for it."

"Why do you think there's something wrong with you?" Dr. Paige says, her head cocked in interest.

"I'm here aren't I? People who don't need help don't need therapy," Rachel concludes.

"Not necessarily," Dr. Paige points out. "I see several patients that just like to talk, some of them have no one else to talk to."

They sit in silence for a few minutes as Rachel ponders what the doctor says.

"They shouldn't be here if the don't need help," Rachel says finally. "They're wasting their time, they should be doing better things."

"Like what?" Dr. Paige asks.

"Like living," Rachel responds. "They should be out chasing their dreams, not sitting in an office complaining. I'd give anything to be able to live normally, to go to school and not worry about anyone finding out anything."

It's then she realizes how much of a child she still is. She'd had to be an adult for as long as she can remember because children were innocent and she was only ever innocent for a short portion of her life. It's unfair the way her childhood was stripped from her. She never got to grow up and learn from her mistakes like everyone else. She was forced to go from a little girl to a woman in less than a night. She stopped living when that happened. She's furious that the people who can live choose spend their time in therapy of all places. She can think of a million other ways she'd spend her life if she had one. She doesn't understand and she doesn't want to, it's the child in her that refuses to believe anything else.

"Why do you think you're here, Rachel?" Dr. Paige asks.

"Because you think I'm mentally unstable," Rachel replies.

"Are you?" the doctor asks with a cocked eyebrow.

Yes, of course she is. She's a wreck, just look at where she is. Stuck in a hospital because her boyfriend used her as a punching bag.

Rachel sighs. "I was. I suppose I still am, but I can handle it. I've learned to cope. There was a time when I was out of control. Not anymore, I don't have a choice."

"Why not?"

"I was pregnant, I have babies that need me. I can't afford to be mentally unstable." Rachel answers.

"So what are your current coping methods?" Dr. Paige asks, scribbling in her notepad.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asks in confusion. She doesn't have a coping method, she just does it. She doesn't have the option of falling apart when things get tough.

"How do you handle your feelings, your insecurities, your issues with whatever has lead you here?" Dr. Paige rephrases.

"I…"

She can see the pain in Rachel's face and she feels for the girl. She decides to change the topic. "Why don't you just tell me a little about yourself first? How old are you?"

"I'll be 18 in December," Rachel says, focusing her attention on the painting on the wall, wishing it would swallow her whole.

"That's an exciting age, do you have any birthday plans?"

Rachel shrugs. "I haven't celebrated a birthday since I turned 12. There's never been anything to celebrate."

Her melancholy tone warns the doctor that she's slowly making progress. It's obvious that whatever happened with Rachel goes back quite a few years.

"What about your babies, how old are they?"

"They'll be two in less than a month," Rachel says and a smile breaks out when she thinks of her chubby little green-eyed babies.

"Terrible twos, are you ready for that, Rachel?" Dr. Paige asks with a smile.

"I only worry about my son, he can be quite a terror sometimes. He gets his mischief from his father. My daughter is too prissy to cause any trouble. She hates getting dirty and making messes, it's both a blessing and a curse," Rachel laughs. "Her temper tantrums can wake the dead."

Dr. Paige laughs and Rachel clutches the phone in her pocket. "Do you want to see a picture of them?" Rachel asks timidly.

"Of course, do you have one with you?" Dr. Paige asks.

Rachel nods and pulls out the phone out, showing off the pictures of them in the bathtub and them sitting in Noah's lap. She never thought she'd be the mother that shows complete strangers pictures of her kids, but she's just so proud of them and just thinking about them gives her so much happiness. Besides, she's never gotten to share her motherly pride with anyone before and she's taking full advantage of this opportunity. Her smile widens when the phone pings and there's a text from Noah. Shyly she tucks the phone back into her pocket, anxious to see what he's sent her.

"You have a very beautiful family, Rachel. I can see how much love and happiness they bring you, your eyes practically lit up with joy," Dr. Paige says.

Rachel smiles. "They're my whole world, my everything. I have nothing else."

"So are you planning anything for their birthday? Any themed parties?" she asks and Rachel shakes her head.

"I don't think so. Things are…complicated right now. I've just returned to Lima after spending two years in New York and I've never really had many friends. There wouldn't really be anyone to invite and I don't do well in large crowds," Rachel admits.

She watches as the doctor scribbles in her notebook. "If you're willing, Rachel, perhaps during these sessions we can find out why it is you're having trouble around large groups of people. It's important for us as social beings to go out and enjoy the simple things, but it can be hard when you're afraid. Is there a particular reason why? Did something happen in a large crowd?" Dr. Paige asks and Rachel shakes her head again.

"No, not in a crowd. It's just harder to hide everything when there are more people. I'm not afraid, just anxious. I just want the past to stay in the past. I'm ready to move on, I don't want to hide anymore," Rachel says.

Dr. Paige smiles and puts her notebook aside and reaches for a tablet. She hands the tablet to Rachel along with a pen. "I want you to make a list of everything you want to discuss during the next 72 hours. You can tell me as much or as little about each topic. They can be good or they can be bad, just list anything you're willing to talk about and we will."

Rachel gulps as she holds the shaking pen in her hand. Is she really ready for this? No. Absolutely not. Does she have a choice? Again, no. Does she want to get better? Yes. More than anything.

"Dr. Paige, how much do you know about my background?" Rachel asks.

"Only that you have two beautiful little babies and anything else you've shared with me today," Dr. Paige says. "Why do you ask?"

"I think it would be easier for me to write these things down if you knew everything," Rachel says.

"That's completely up to you, whatever you think is beneficial. I personally think it's a great idea, I would love to get to know you."

Rachel runs her fingers through her hair hoping to calm her shaking hands. There's so much that's happen, so much she needs to overcome. She has no idea where to start. She twirls the ring on her finger and finds it brings her a strange sort of comfort. It helps her remember the promise her and Noah made to each other, the promise she's working so hard to keep.

She takes a breath and fixes her gaze on the ring. "My name is Rachel Barbra Berry and I was raised in Lima, Ohio. I had two gay fathers who legally adopted me from a surrogate. My best friend was…is…Noah Puckerman, we were inseparable as kids. My fathers were very supportive and loving for the first half of my childhood, they encouraged me to sing and to follow my dreams of being on Broadway. They always made me feel so special and loved."

She pauses and her attention shifts from the ring to the wall behind her doctor. "My dad, Hiram, was promoted when I about 11. His work required him to travel and he was gone almost seven months out of the year. That's when things fell apart, I guess. My daddy, Leroy became lonely and I guess I can't blame him. He began drinking day in and day out to help deal with his loneliness. I used to feel so bad for him, I would sing to him to help him feel better, anything to brighten his day, but he was so angry. He started to channel his anger toward me and he became distant, I deserved it though."

"Why do you say that?" Dr. Paige asks and Rachel blinks, she hadn't even realized the doctor was listening.

"I encouraged my dad to take the promotion. He was against it at first, but it was his dream job just like Broadway was mine. I thought about how happy I'd be once I made it to the stage and I couldn't tell him no. It would have been selfish of me, but apparently so was taking him away from my daddy," Rachel sighs.

"Rachel, you were eleven years old. Even now at 18, do you really think you made a selfish decision? I personally think it was rather selfless, don't you? You knew you wouldn't be able to see him as often and still you put his happiness above your own," Dr. Paige says.

"No, I don't think it was selfless," Rachel snaps. "I was a selfish spoiled brat and I deserved my punishment. I deserved Leroy's anger."

"You have to consider your feelings in the situation as well, not just your daddy's," Dr. Paige adds.

"What feelings?" Rachel asks in frustration. "Who cares if I missed my dad or if my daddy began to hate me? My family fell apart and it was my fault. I tried to fix it and I couldn't so I avoided it. I stayed away from home as much as possible, I practically lived with Noah for the next year until my dad came home for my Bat Mitzvah. I thought everything could be normal again just for that day. I thought I could be happy and I was so hung up on the idea that I slept with Noah. It was stupid and I was way too young. I shouldn't have don't it, but I just so desperate for some type of comfort. I just needed someone to show me that it was going to be okay. It was wrong, but even now I don't regret it. I can't," she pauses and bites her lip feeling pain rising in her chest. It's the pain from her past and not from her broken ribs she's feeling and she just wants it gone.

"I guess that's why Leroy did it. Maybe he thought sleeping with me would make him happy too? I always thought it was because I deserved it, because I was a stupid teenage whore. But now that I think about it, maybe we were both the same. Lonely," she shrugs.

"Rachel, lots of people turn to sex for comfort, it's completely normal. Some people use food, some buy unnecessary things, the list goes on. Father's seeking sexual comfort in their daughter's is not normal, nor is it legal. You have to understand that what happened to you was called rape and it is not nor will it ever be okay. It is not a death sentence though. It's not an excuse for you to give up your life," Dr. Paige.

"So what, you think I just gave up?" Rachel blanches. "I didn't give up, I fought with everything I had in me to keep things normal. I tried so hard to hide everything, but I was hurting him and he didn't deserve that."

"Who?" Dr. Paige asks.

"Noah," she replies, wiping a tear. "I couldn't stand him touching me after what Leroy had done. I felt so dirty and so used, I didn't deserve someone like him."

"I think because part of you knew what Leroy had done was wrong, Rachel. I think the first step in your healing process is going to be acknowledging that it was not your fault. You are in no way responsible for another person's actions. Having sexual intercourse at a young age doesn't make you any less of a person and it certainly does not justify your father's cruelty," Dr. Paige says.

"I know," Rachel admits. "I know it's not my fault, but the fear is too much. It's overwhelming and it makes me think things I shouldn't, it completely takes over and once you let it, it's so hard to stop."

Rachel takes a shuddering breath and Dr. Paige smiles softly. "I didn't think I'd get you to admit your fear so easily, Rachel. I can see it in your eyes and the way you move that you're guarded. I didn't think we'd be able to break those walls so quickly, I can tell you're not one to submit to defeat. I admire your willingness to get past this."

Rachel closes her eyes and keeps her breathing steady. "I have to say that it's easier than I thought. When I had therapy sessions before, I was too afraid to admit anything. I didn't have anything to live for then besides the fear, but now I have my babies and I have Noah back. I'm doing this for them and for me. For us."

Author's note: Please review with honest thoughts/ideas. I'm a little uncertain about continuing this after the response the last chapter received so if you're reading, please let me know what you think.

This is not beta read so please forgive any errors.