Disclaimer: I own nothing...
A/N: Can't believe I am actually venturing out of my usual fandom to post for once, so I hope you enjoy what I do with this...
Fifty Shades Abandoned
"I'm pregnant! Her own voice resounded into her head. Pregnant, Christian, her subconscious whispered out, pregnant with your child.
"Get out!" Christian literally screamed at his wife. Looking at her, he felt like his life was over. I wanted you! I only wanted you! You ruined us, Ana!
"Christian!" Ana begged, "I know this isn't what you wanted just yet, but-"
Turning to look at her, he tried to calm, running his hands through his hair in an added attempt, he tried to make sense, but he couldn't. Finally looking at her, he knew his eyes showed how angry he was, how infuriated he was at this news because Ana flinched under the gaze. "That child is not for us, Ana and until I'm ready, I am asking you to leave."
"You're not going to make me pick are you?" Ana asked as she remained in her spot, tears pooling ready to fall. Please Fifty don't make me! I can't! I won't! It would kill me! Her subconscious was doing a manic dance around to try and cause preservation within, her inner Goddess was still laying crumpled on the floor still awaiting her resurrection.
"I said stop with the water works," He banished her tears and disregarded how much she was hurting over this. This was all about the angry wrath that was tightening around him, killing him, breaking him. "How could you be so careless? How could you do this to us, Ana? How?" The last pleaded question was said with such desperation and lost.
Ana bit her lip, not with any sexual prowess or tease, but with nerves. Then suddenly, as the words registered her nerves dispersed into anger. "How did I do this? Me? It took the both of us to make this baby!" She suddenly bellowed, "You're as much at fault as me, Christian. Christ, I should have known that you were too perfect to just accept your part in this, because Christian Grey doesn't do things like this. Stupid, little Anastasia did this all by herself." Ana stepped dangerously close to Christian then, "I'd wake up and smell the coffee sooner rather than later, Mr. Grey."
Shaking his head, he spoke lowly to her, "Get out of my face. Out of my apartment. Just get out."
Ana didn't move, so Christian made her move. He pulled her through the house, throwing her heartless out of their Escala apartment and shut the door as if to metaphorically shut the door on their short life together. He had just thrown her out. If that screamed anything, it told her that ever getting pregnant was the one thing that would break the spell that was their love.
Her heart broke even more at that thought. If anything, she loved him more knowing she had his child growing within her, but he had thrown her out like a monster – like she was Leila.
Looking at the large door, Ana felt her legs buckle and as she fell to the floor she remembered all of her feelings she had felt when Dr. Greene had announced she was with child. Everything she had felt she had felt for a reason. Ana had felt the loss of this life, of the love of her life and she had felt damnation all before it was delivered to her.
"Mrs. Grey," Taylor's voice came as he left the apartment. He could hear her tears on the other side of the door, but he hadn't expected her to be quite so close still. He bent down and picked her up, "I've been ordered to take you back to your apartment."
Gasping, Ana looked up at the aging man with horrified shock, "My apartment."
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Grey, but Mr. Grey wanted me to," Taylor told her as he led her towards the elevator. "My only instruction is to get you back to your old apartment and make sure you are safe."
Why hadn't I sold that damn apartment? Then what would he have done? Put me in a hotel, alone? Allow me to stay in one of the hotels we had? Ana remained completely silent on the journey down to the car. Her detachment from every source of stimuli was scarily prominent. She didn't even move when the doors open, she just remembered Taylor pulling her out of shaft and towards the awaiting Audi.
"Mrs. Grey," Taylor called out, pulling her from her thoughts. "We're here."
Looking up, Ana sighed. They were home. Home. "You may as well start calling me Ms. Steele again, Taylor. I'm pretty sure soon you won't even need to be dealing with me," She paused, her eyes watering, "At Mr. Grey's commands of course."
Taylor's expression didn't change, "He'll come around soon... To this idea, that is."
"Maybe when it's too late," Ana murmured under her breath as she headed up to her apartment with Taylor. Once she was in, she realised that Taylor had a bag and she just pointed wordlessly.
"Mrs. Jones' packed an overnight bag," Taylor commented, not going into details. "I have to make sure the apartment's safe and secure before I head back to Escala, Mrs. Grey."
Oh, he does still have a heart! He heart flourished with the idea. Ana nodded, and eyed up the apartment as Taylor did a sweep. It's weird being here, no Kate, no Ethan, no Christian, no life. Ana hugged herself, protecting Blip with the motion and move further into the apartment. Going over to the window, Ana moved the curtain and expected to be greeted with the Seattle skyline she had come to love, but found herself being confronted with reality.
She was back at square one and Ana couldn't see passed that. She felt beyond abandoned and lost and the ache in her chest just couldn't be soothed.
"I'm done, Mrs. Grey," Taylor broke and when she turned around she saw a hint of sympathy. He handed her his handkerchief, much like he had when she had walked out on Christian months ago. She smiled and he dropped his hand down, "Make sure you lock up behind me. Good night, Mrs. Grey," He spoke and then was gone.
Ana heard him on the phone briefly just outside the door. He had obviously rang Christian with a report back and Ana couldn't help but be consumed with thoughts of Christian as the silence of the apartment crept towards her, ready to swallow her whole.
Realisation after realisation hit her, attacked her, scratched at her, burrowed into her every cell.
She was broken. Well and truly broken by the whirlwind life she had with Christian Grey. However, even in the darkness with that even darker thought taking her over, Ana realised she wouldn't want to leave without the memories of her short life with Christian. She didn't want to live without Christian either, but she knew she had broken an unspoken rule in their lives.
Going to her old bedroom, she fell on the bed. This wasn't right! This wasn't her home anymore. Crying hard, she pulled her pillows around her head, trying to silence herself some, but felt the rough cut of material cut her arm. She pulled at the item and was confronted with Charlie Tango and she lost her nerve again. She forgot it was still here. Lost in the madness of her new life – old life, whatever life – she had forgotten, thinking she had taken it with her.
Her mercurial man wasn't going to come and save her now. He was mad, rightly so because so was she. A baby was too early for the both of them, but she loved it because it was a part of her Fifty. It might be bad timing now, but in the long run it would be perfection that the whole world would see and she would love her Little Blip forever. Even if that meant that she didn't have her husband, her fifty shades, the love of her life. Clutching the deflated Charlie Tango to her chest, Ana closed her eyes to forbid the sobs from becoming earth shattering.
Oh Fifty. Fifty. Fifty. Baby Fifty.