Title: The Anniversary

Summary: The was only one solution to that horrible feeling that was overcoming Beck. There was only one way to get Jade out of his head, and that was to drink. Maybe tomorrow, he would say the things he knew he should. But the horrible problem with waiting for tomorrow, is sometimes, tomorrow never comes.

Rating: T

Characters: Beck/Jade

Warning: (SPOILERS) Character Death

Their anniversary… their stupid, damn, fucking anniversary…

Tick

Beck stared up at the clock on the ceiling. It made the most annoying noise that he had ever heard. It was horrible, irritating, and it was too high for him to reach without going back inside to get a step-ladder. It was also shaped like a duck. And it was yellow.

Tick

It was the consequences of Jade dissolving a couple dozen energy tablets in his coffee one day (he should have known when she offered to get it) and it was everything Jade hated… She was forced to listen to it every morning when she woke up, and it had driven her half mad. Of course, she could have just spent the whole night in her own room, but somehow she never seemed to do that. She would insist that it was too cold on her own. He had to agree that it was cold at nights without Jade next to him. But that was just one of the consequences, not one that he had thought of admittedly but a consequence nevertheless. He didn't have much of a choice now…

Tick

The worst thing about that clock was that, although it had annoyed Jade, it was killing him as well. It was frustrating enough on his own, but with the fact that it was constantly reminding him of Jade just made it unbearable. It made it especially unbearable tonight.

Tick

Why the hell did it hurt so much? Why on Earth was she so hard to forget? Why on… Pluto was Jade West so hard to get out of his mind? For once Beck was happy that his parent's fought so much; if they didn't then he wouldn't have this RV. And if he didn't have this RV, then he wouldn't have so much time to sulk about what went wrong, or to pray that somehow God would let him rewind time and go to open that door.

Tick

But that wasn't possible. It wasn't possible. It wasn't possible.

Tick

Maybe if he repeated it to himself enough times then his sub-conscious would believe that and no longer keep believing that if he tried hard enough, he would wake up in the morning, Jade lying next to him (another benefit of his RV, along with her own dysfunctional family) and none of these pasts months would have happened. It seemed with every day he got further away from Jade.

Tick

Every day he did something as stupid as putting up the clock. He handcuffed her to a table, he fake dated Trina, he didn't shelter her from the Earthquake… he kissed Tori. Correction, he almost kissed Tori. And that was just as bad. He still really shouldn't have done that. Even if you were still hung up over your old girlfriend, you did not kiss another girl just to help you get over her. That was Rule 1 of 'Beck's Rules For Not Being A Total Douche' It even trumped the 'Wear Pants Often' Rule.

Tick

If he hadn't screwed up so bad, then Jade would have been there with him. He would be giving her a kiss and telling her that he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life, and that the years they were celebrating wouldn't be there last. It was funny, that's what he had told her the year before.

Tick

Beck flopped down on his bed.

Tick

He grabbed his white pillow in front of him and stuck it on top of his head.

Tick

In hindsight it was odd that his parent's couldn't hear his frustrated scream.

Tick

Rolling back over on to his back, Beck decided it was definitely time for a drink.

"Beck!"

"Uhh…"

"Beck!"

When Beck finally managed to rouse himself from his slumber, the first thing he noticed was the lack of a ticking noise in his ear. It was a nice feeling, one that he wasn't used to… the stupid duck (and no, that wasn't his attempt at censoring) had been up there for almost a month now.

The second thing that Beck noticed was that he was approximately 93 percent certain that he was not in his bed. He would have tried to do a further analysis of his situation, but right now, all he could see was green. The green of what could have been grass, or trees, or toxic sludge… combined with the blue of the sun and… brown.

"Beck!"

"André" His voice sounded weak, and woozy. Then Beck placed what was wrong with him. He had a hangover, he had a massive, frustrating, killing hangover.

"God, what the Hell happened to you?" André asked… "Why the hell are you lying in your back garden…?"

His back garden! That was where he was… well, that was a weight lifted of his head.

"What time is it?" Beck asked, starting to sit himself up a little of the cold floor.

"Five o'clock…"

"In the afternoon? Shit…"

"No…" André tone suddenly became deadly serious, and Beck's gaze snapped to his eyes.

"André" Beck's voice held warning in it "What happened?"

He could see André's eyes become moist… "It's Jade."

"What's Jade?" Beck asked, even though he predicted that he probably didn't want to know the answer.

"She got hit by a car."

An hour later, Beck realised, that beer was the best decision he had ever made. The music was blaring across the room, and he was dancing on his bed, singing along at the top of his voice.

"Don't stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up tonight, Imma fight till we see the sunlight… Tiiikkkkkkkkk Toooookkkkkkkkkkk". Beck brought what was probably his fifteen beer up to his mouth as he sang along, half of it dripping back out again.

Beck swung from side to side, until the blanket beneath him slipped, and he went tumbling through the air.

"Wooo! I'm flying!" The moment after he hit the floor with a bang, knocking off his radio, and silencing it forever, he was back up on the bed, jumping off again to feel that weightless moment. There were repeatedly thuds until eventually Beck got up with an "Owwwy!" as he rubbed his head repeatedly.

Tick

Beck froze… and then he started to scream. "No…! Shut up! Go away… go away… go away… ticky- noisy-thingy!"

Tick

"NO!"

"Jade, leave me along." Beck grabbed his near pear phone and chucked it at the clock. It didn't succeed in doing anything other than managing to break the phone.

But as hard as he tried, he couldn't shake the image of the Goth in his mind, strong, dominant and beautiful… why wasn't she here right now… why wasn't she in his… VR… ER… JR…. RV? She needed to be here, she needed to know how much he loved her. Because she loved him, that much was simple… it should be him and Jade… Beck and Jade Cauliflower forever.

"Immmmmmmm coming JJJJade… I'mmmacomming…" He called, as he left his RV.

Beck and André arrived at the hospital quickly afterwards. He suspected that it would be a silent journey, and to be honest, Beck was right. There wasn't much to say, although André filled him in on a couple of details. They had found her lying in the street, down the road from the house. They thought she was probably hit by a drunk driver, somebody who didn't really know any better. She was still just about alive, which was amazing considering the speed they thought the car had been going, and how long it had been before they had found her, but honestly, that wasn't any comfort at all for Beck.

He couldn't believe he had let her go without telling her how stupid he was, and how much he loved her, and how much he needed her, and how he couldn't live without her.

He wouldn't get to tell her that now.

As the two boys entered the hospital, Beck fought the urge to shield his eyes. The light of it all was almost unbearable, with his current hangover. But this was for Jade…

"How did you know before me?" Beck asked suddenly, his accusing eyes looking at André.

"Because her parents didn't know if she would want to see you…" André said "They didn't know what relations between the two of you were like.

"How could Jade not want to see me?" Beck screamed, his emotions showing for once in his life.

"Because you dumped her!" André replied back, his voice rising as well. "Jade was stuck in this misguided belief that you were the only one that loved her, and suddenly you didn't anymore."

"I did love her! She broke up with me too."

"Just keep telling yourself that. Is it any wonder she wanted to die?"

"What do you mean? Jade wouldn't have wanted to die. Jade loved her life." Beck said, his voice returning to normal, except for the sheer amount of disbelief.

"Yeah, well, apparently she didn't. Normally, they find a victim scattered to the side. The impact of the car on Jade knocked her straight backwards. That only happens if she was walking towards the car. Why would she walk towards a car if she wanted to live?"

"You mean…" Beck felt faint, like his legs were about to give way.

"You killed her."

"If only…"

"If only what?" André was seriously angry now. "If only you weren't such a dick? If only you hadn't been such an asshole. Then Jade might still be alive. I'm not going to comfort you, there's no point in that. You weren't good enough for Jade. And now she's dead because of it."

Beck lunged at André, pressing him against the wall, and letting his anger loose. He got one good hit in at the face, before André turned the tables. Beck still had a massive hangover anyways.

"Don't react like it's not true," André hissed "All this time, I was sitting there, thinking, I can't move in on your ex-girlfriend. That's not what a friend does. But if I hadn't, maybe she would still be here." André didn't exactly know why he was telling Beck all this, but it seemed like there was no point in hiding it anymore. And he was just so angry. Beck had killed Jade. He hadn't literally driven the car, but Jade had died as a result of Beck's actions.

"You... you..."

"Yes, I loved her too. And now she's dead."

Beck pulled himself back up to hit André once more, but stopped himself just in time. Maybe it was true, maybe if André had told her that, she wouldn't be dead. But for once in his life, he felt jealous, and now he understood how Jade felt every day that she saw him with Tori, even if they were just friends.

Beck's fist hit André's face with a satisfying thud.

And then the door to Jade's room opened.

"Beck?" A doctor's voice called out hesitantly. "She wants to see you?" Beck gave one more glance at André, and then decided that right now, it was Jade who was far more important.

Beck was in the car, driving to Jade's house, and still singing along to the radio.

"Wwwweee cannnn thhan thhheee suunnnnnnn."

He was nearing Jade's house.

"Jade?"

She was lying in a hospital bed, her heartbeat slow on the monitor next to her.

"Beck…" Her voice sounded strained.

"I love you." The words left his lips in a blurr, knowing that he couldn't wait any longer. Jade didn't react with shock, or dis-belief, she just accepted it. It just felt right that he loved her and she loved him, even though they hadn't said it in a while.

"I love you too…" A faint smile came across her lips.

Jade was out for a walk, thinking. It was her and Beck's anniversary tonight. And she really wanted to be with him, instead of on her own. Maybe her stubbornness was getting in the way of her happiness. Or maybe this was the right thing to do. Maybe it was clever to ignore the fact that she was totally and completely in love with Beck Oliver. The noise of a car disrupted her thoughts, and she glanced up.

"I didn't try to kill myself. Seriouly? Chucking myself in front of a car, you know me, I'd do much better than that. Plus, I'd have made sure I took Vega out with me." Jade said, and Beck couldn't help but smile, although it was highly possible, that even if she didn't mean to, she would still die… and soon.

"Then how…" Beck walked over to her bed and grasped her hand, tight, maybe if he didn't let go, she wouldn't slip away from each other.

"Long story…" Jade smirked. Only Jade could smirk at a time like this. Jade remembered exactly what happened last night, but she wasn't going to tell him.

Jade looked up at the car, and felt a smile rise to her lips, it was Beck's car. She recognised the number plate and everything. With a little smile, she entered the road. He must be on his way to see her.

And if he wasn't, this was the only way she could make him face her. Slowly, she walked towards the car…

"I'm sorry we didn't have that much time together." A tear dripped down Jade's face, smudging her already ruined make-up. Beck thought that she had never looked more beautiful. It wasn't fair... They needed more time.

Beck would have given anything in the entire world for a couple more minutes with Jade. He would have gladly swapped their positions around so he was lying in that bed, instead of her. But that wasn't possible. The time for his actions was over now… he felt helpless, so very helpless as he resigned himself to the fact that he was going to have to watch the woman he loved die.

The alcohol in his system was blurring his eyesight. For Beck's perspective, there was nothing on the road.

Jade shut her eyes, and Beck leaned in to give her the last kiss they'd had since the break-up. It was a gentle kiss, not like the make-out session they used to have.

"I'm going to love you forever, Jade. Just don't go... Please."

Jade shook her head silently... "I can't stop it now, just remember, this wasn't your fault.

"No! I refuse to let you go..." Beck's voice croaked desperately... "You can't." Beck squeezed her hand almost painfully hard.

"I'm just going to go to sleep now, Beck. I will see you again."

"No..." His voice trickled down to a respectable tone.

"See you when I wake up..." She asked, a smile drifting on to his face.

"I promise."

Beck kept on driving, down the road, leaving the body of the beautiful girl that he was going to see lying broken and bruised behind the car. He managed to get all the way over to the West house, puke in their bushes, and drive back along the road to his house. Asleep on the garden floor later that night, his memories of the end of him and Jade's anniversary were removed forever.

Jade's heart monitor shut off, and Beck broke down crying. It wasn't fair, he needed more time. As Jade's warmth left her corpse, slowly, trickling out, he made another promise.

"I'm going to find the guy who did this, that stupid, idiotic, fucking, damn, douchebag of a drunk driver. And I'm going to kill him."

Why do I like to kill Jade? I have never, ever killed Beck in a story. Ever. But I kill Jade… anyways, for those that didn't notice, the italics was that night and the normal font was the next please don't favourite without reviewing,

The Name Is A Lie, As Is The Cake

I-Am-Not-A-Smiley-Person

PS. This hasn't been Beta-ed and although I have read through it, it is highly likely I will have missed some bits. So sorry for that… my Beta's got a lot on her plate right now.