Fallen Angel

I stepped outside the sliding glass door onto the wooden floor of the balcony. I was greeted by the cool early morning air. Setting my hot tea on the table, I sat in one of the cushioned chairs and stared out into at the city. It was so empty, so quite. I guess that's because it's 6 in the morning. Wasn't this the city that never sleeps? Why was it so quite? Why was I even up this early? Oh, that's right, I couldn't sleep. I've never been able to sleep very well. I've always woken up in the middle of the night and just come out here and just stare at the city. I've always made a careful effort to not wake Andy up when I came out here. I'd become fairly good at it, too; silently getting out of bed and tip toeing to the sliding glass door and opening it without a sound. Sometimes I would go down stairs and get tea or coffee but it always depended what time it was. I heard the sliding glass door open and slow footsteps approach me. A blanket was draped on my shoulders and then Andy pulled a chair up next to me.

"What's on your mind, baby?" he asked, you could tell he had just woken up. His voice sounded a little groggily.

I sighed. "Nothing."

"Aw, come on… What's wrong?" He patted him lap and motioned for me to sit with him.

I got up, adjusted my pajama pants and tank top, took the blanked off my shoulders, and sat down on his lap, covering us up with the blanket and laying my head on his bare chest.

"It's really nothing," I said, trying to sound reassuring, but failed miserably.

Andy looked down at me and pouted.

"It's really nothing…" I started. "I… I don't know. The truth is I just don't feel too good… I mean, I'm not sick or anything. Nothing's wrong, it just feels like everything is…"

Andy rubbed my back slowly. It was probably the most comforting thing he could do. He didn't say a word. He must've known that words wouldn't help me.

There were a few moments of silence before I asked, "Andy… How long have we been together…?"

He looked thoughtfully up at the sky. "Um, a little over two years…"

Do you believe in love at first sight? I never did until I met Andy. We're high school sweethearts, you see. He mysteriously showed up a week or two after my twin brother passed away. My brother had been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, cancer of the blood, two years before that. It was terminal. We all saw it was coming. We had said our goodbyes before he passed, but it was still hard to let go. Then Andy showed up to school one day. He was a transfer students but no one knew anything about him, where he came from or anything. I knew from the moment I set eyes on him that I was in love with him. He had black hair and the brightest blue eyes you'd ever seen! They were almost angelic. He had a punk rock sort of style to him, too. Somehow we ended up together. He really helped me through my brother's death and my parents' divorce, they divorced a month or two after my brother's passing. Shortly after, my father died of a stroke. Andy had been there through the hardest times of my life. I'm almost surprised he stayed with me through all that. Who would want to be with a tragedy like me? If it weren't for him, my emotions probably would have destroyed me. It all happened so fast. But we're still together to this day. I love him with all my heart.

Andy broke the silence. "What if I could take all the pain of the past away? What if I told you, I could take you to paradise and we could live there forever? Would you go?" he said as he stared up at the sky.

My eyebrows scrunched together and I looked at Andy, completely and utterly confused.

He stood up, leaving me sitting in the chair alone. He closed his eyes and concentrated, within seconds, beautiful large black feathered wings unfurled from his shoulder blades. The black feathers shimmered in the morning light.

I let out a gasp.

"Baby, I'm a fallen angel. I can take you to heaven. We can be happy there forever and ever. Free from the pain of your past," he said softly.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" I asked, still in awe.

"I… I guess I was just waiting for the right time…" He said slowly…

He held out a hand to help me up. I gladly took it. It felt like a burden had been lifted from me, like a weight had been taken off my shoulders. I felt light as air. I reached out to touch his wings. The feathers were soft like that of a bird. This can't really be real, can it?

"You ready?" he asked as his wings spread farther.

I took one last look at our house, but something caught my eye. The chair I'd been sitting in. There was someone sitting there. It… It was me… But I looked like I was sleeping. I looked down at my hands. They almost looked translucent, sort of glowing too. My arms were too. All of me was.

Andy wrapped his arms around my waist. "Close your eyes," he said softly.

I did as I was told.

"You can open them now," he whispered, seconds later.

Everything was so bright! So white too! Where were we? I looked around. It was as if we were standing on the clouds. What looked like white cotton balls were beneath our feet. I was too afraid to take another step; I might fall through the clouds. I looked up at Andy. His wings were now untainted white. There were large golden gates in front of us and an older man, clothed in white with the same white wings as Andy, standing in front of the entrance.

Andy led me to the man. I didn't know what to say. Who was that? Is this heaven? Is this heaven? If this was heaven then that man must be… Oh, what is it… It's from the old Sunday school lessons… Saint Peter?

The man smiled at us. "Welcome back, Andrew."

The gold gates slowly opened and Andy lead me through them. It was everything you could ever imagine. Take all that is good in the world, multiply it by infinity and that what was in front of me, inside the gates. Anything you could ever need, or want.

"Welcome to Heaven," Andy said softly.

It was so beautiful, so infinite, so plentiful, and so perfect. But, what about mom? What about grandma and grandpa? Did I leave them all behind? Tears started to come to my eyes and run down my cheeks. I don't belong here…

"Andy?"

He looked down at me, noticing that I was crying, and pulled me close to him.

"I don't belong here…"

He looked so confused.

"I never said goodbye to mom… Or grandma and grandpa… I don't belong here, Andy…" I sobbed, "I have to go home…"

"But, baby…" he pleaded.

I looked into his bright blue eyes. "Andy…. I have to go home…"

He nodded slowly and wiped away some of my tears. "I came to earth on one condition, that I could only come back once, and when I returned, I could never go back again…"

Pain started to build in his eyes. More tears fell from mine.

"I have to go, Andy… I'll be back someday…"

…

I awoke on the cushioned chair out on my balcony. I slowly got up and stretched. What a strange dream I had, I thought. I opened the sliding glass door and walked into our bedroom. Andy wasn't in bed and the bathroom door was open and he wasn't there either.

"Andy!" I called through the house.

No answer.

I hurried down stairs. He wasn't down there either; there wasn't a note on the counter. I picked up my phone and tried to call him. I could hear his phone ringing upstairs.

I headed up to the balcony again. It was starting to rain outside. I picked up my tea cup and sat down. I didn't really care that it was raining, I was just wondering where Andy was. Slowly a large black feather drifted down onto the table. I picked it up and rotated it between two fingers.

It wasn't a dream… Andy's gone… He can't come back… It wasn't a dream…

…

Have you ever heard of older couples who have been together for most of their lives, when one of them dies, the other dies a few weeks or months later of a broken heart? That's what happened to me. I lost the will to live. Without Andy, I was nothing. One day, I drifted off to sleep, never to wake up again in the mortal world, only to wake up standing on those clouds again, in front of those gold gate. I approached Saint Peter.

He greeted me with a smile and a quick, "Welcome back." as the gates slowly opened.

There was a winged silhouette standing there.

"Welcome home, baby…" he said softly.

I could recognize that voice anywhere. Andy…

I ran to him and his outstretched arms. He hugged me tightly.

"I missed you," I said softly.

"I missed you, too…"

I hadn't noticed until now, but I had big white feathered wings just like Andy's now. I guess I'm an angel?

"I love you, Andy…" I never wanted to let him go.

"I love you… Forever…"

"Forever…"