AN: And with this, I return to writing on FF! Hopefully it'll become a more frequent occurrence. This is slightly out of canon with what happened in the finale, as I twisted certain aspects of what actually happened to fit the mood. Hopefully, you'll all enjoy!
WARNING: Thoughts of suicide.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Legend of Korra. But someday, Bryke. Someday...
She looked out over the cliff side, the snow falling in a thick blanket against her, the wind biting at her cheeks. The waves below churned and crashed against each other, echoing the war in her heart, the war that her steadfast determination was swiftly losing with each thought that rushed through her mind. She knew that the others, that Mako, would be worried sick, but she just couldn't stand facing them.
Because, no matter what had happened in the temple, no matter what Tenzin, or Katara, or anyone told her, she knew the awful truth.
She'd failed. Plain and simple, she'd failed.
She'd failed the people of Republic City, who had looked upon her as a hope for peace. She'd failed the world, who had looked upon her to keep the fragile balance and protect it.
Worst of all, she'd failed herself, and the people she loved. The people who had placed their greatest hopes and trusts in her, the people she wanted to protect more than anything. The people who were more precious to her than life itself.
The stinging in her eyes that she'd been able to ignore before, was quickly becoming unbearable. Dammit, she was the Avatar! She'd always overcome anything that was thrown her way beforehand! She'd pulled the ability to airbend out of her right after Amon had taken her bending, and she'd exposed him for the fraud he was! Had she gone through all that strife and struggle, only to lose everything she'd ever known, to be completely useless to the world?
"I will destroy you."
Amon hadn't been lying. He'd taken her bending without breaking a sweat against her, taken the most integral part of her as easily as he'd taken a breath. And she'd let him get AWAY! She slammed her fist the ground, screaming in incoherent anger. What the hell was wrong with her? How could she be so weak as to let that monster get away? She was the AVATAR, goddammit! Her whole purpose in life was to stop people like Amon, to stand in the way of those who would disrupt the balance of good and evil in the world, even if it meant standing alone. And she had failed miserably in her duty.
The wind had died down, but the tears on her cheeks stung horribly, the pain bringing some clarity to her mind in her anger and shame. She couldn't stay here. Amon was still out there, after his run from the temple through the bay. She had to go after him, to track him down. But...then what? What was she supposed to do? How could she stop him? Airbending alone wouldn't be nearly enough, it'd only been enough to shock him before and catch him by surprise. He wouldn't fall for the same trick twice. There was no way in hell she was dragging the others into it. She'd already destroyed their lives enough, she refused to do it anymore. Amon was, as far as she knew, alone and desperate, and that made him all the more dangerous.
Korra slumped to the ground. What did it even matter if she did find him anyway? As the Avatar, it was her duty to make the call when it came to someone like him, as Aang had before her, and she no longer possessed the power to do that. It was the Avatar's greatest duty to the world, and she...couldn't. The dam holding her emotions back broke, and hot tears streamed down her face. She wasn't even the Avatar anymore. All those long days, those years training with the other elements, the pride she'd had after mastering each one...it was all wasted, wasted on a sixteen-year-old girl who'd screwed up and let everyone down when it mattered the most. All she had now was airbending. If she couldn't catch Amon, what about the future? Surely, worse villains than Amon would rear their heads and threaten the world. What was she going to do, blow hot air in their faces? Use a tornado to fling them into the distance? She still hadn't been able to enter the spirit world, or communicate with Aang, and now she never would. She'd never become a fully realized Avatar, and make her contribution to world and its inhabitants. A dry laugh escaped her mouth, her throat twinging at the action due to her earlier screaming. Had there ever been an Avatar who'd been a complete failure, who'd never realized their full power? Maybe she'd be the first. Lucky her.
She looked out over the cliff. It was the sole duty of the Avatar to protect the world, even at the cost of their life. Was it fair of her to go throughout life, unable to protect the world as she was born to do? Was it fair to endanger the lives of yet unborn children, who would not be able to rely on her to protect them? Korra turned back to the mountains looming behind her. Behind it lay the great Earth Kingdom...the home of the next avatar, waiting to be born. Noatak's and Tarrlok's ability to waterbend had at least proved that having your bending taken wasn't hereditary. Perhaps that rang true through souls as well. If she couldn't be healed, if her bending could never be returned to her, perhaps...perhaps it was time to pass the torch, so to speak. The world needed an Avatar that could protect it, and that wasn't her. Tenzin, Lin, and the others would surely call for more unity amongst benders and nonbenders after this whole fiasco. The Order of the White Lotus had guarded her and her family throughout her entire childhood, as she'd come into her own as the Avatar. Surely they could guard the new Avatar once again. Surely they could keep him or her safe, until such time that they were ready to take up the mantle appointed to them. Even Aang had escaped being massacred along with the other Air Nomads.
Her mind made up, she took a moment to mentally apologize to Tenzin and the others. She wasn't an idiot, she knew how much they cared about her, and how much this would hurt them. But they needed someone to protect them, and she'd nearly gotten Tenzin and the kids killed, spiritually speaking. Airbending was as natural to them as breathing, and it would've destroyed them more deeply than anyone to lose it. She thought of Bolin, and how she'd hurt him when she hadn't returned his affections and led him on instead. He really was a great friend. She thought of Asami. Asami, who'd truly lost her father when he'd attacked her, and thought of how she was about to take a friend away from her now. Korra really did feel they could've been wonderfully close friends, if how she'd felt for Mako hadn't interfered.
Mako. The twisting pain in her chest intensified and threatened to choke her. She'd never told him how she felt, how much she needed him as she'd never needed anyone before. How his laugh could light up her life, regardless of how dark things got. How safe she felt with him, knowing he'd fight to end with her. How his eyes sucked her in and refused to let go, as disgustingly cheesy as it was. She mourned the days they wouldn't spend together, laughing at Bolin and the kid's antics. The nights they wouldn't spend wrapped together, staring out at the stars. The years they wouldn't have together, the possible children that wouldn't be born, the happiness that was forever lost. As much as she didn't want to let that glorious future go, she knew she had to. For all their sakes.
They needed a future that could be protected, a future they could all look forward to with hope. Mako and Bolin needed a future where they could build something better for themselves than just living in the Probending arena, barely making ends meet. Asami needed a future where she could possibly reunite with her father, where they could become a family again. Lin needed a future protecting the city she'd sworn to defend. Her parents needed a future they could live in peacefully, as they'd always deserved. The kids needed a future with their family on Air Temple Island. Pema needed a future in which she could watch Rohan grow and be happy with his siblings. Tenzin needed a future where he could rebuild Republic City into what it was always supposed to be: a mecca of peace between all people.
The world needed an actualized Avatar, one that could do their job right and protect it, and that wasn't Korra. She turned back to the cliff, a single tear falling from her chin to the waters below as she stood. If she couldn't do her duty to the world, then she could sure as hell at least give them someone who could.
Footsteps crunched in the snow behind her, causing her to sigh. "Not now, Tenzin, I just want to be left alone." She didn't want him to see this.
"But you called me here."
That...wasn't Tenzin's voice. It was way too soft, too peaceful and clear. Korra turned in surprise, and looked on in awe at the one standing over her.
"...Aang..."
~ Owari ~
AN: This little one-shot came out of a discussion over the Korra finale I got into after work today. Someone suggested that Korra was standing suspiciously close to the edge of the cliff, since her tear fell almost straight down into the water. From there it derailed from freaking out about the finale to arguing about whether or not Bryke were implying that Korra was considering suicide in order to bring the next Avatar into the cycle and fix her mistakes. The idea of Korra considering this her duty to the world as the Avatar, considering her death a way to fix what she hadn't been able to stop, really resonated with me, and this little fic just wouldn't leave me alone once it sprang into existence.
As for the slight hints of Makorra, I only included those so as to not stray from canon anymore than I already have. No offense to those who do, but I don't ship it.
I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it! I appreciate any reviews you might want to leave!