A/N: I'm not really sure about this fic (or even the premise). If you do think I've got it badly wrong, please PM me!
My dear fellow, we all have chapters we would rather keep unpublished.
He was utterly helpless...
...trapped beneath her, he watched the way her thighs slid against his pelvis, the way her breasts moved with every thrust, the way his own fingers dug into her hips...
...and then she smiled at him.
That smile - and the wicked glint in her eye - sent him straight over the edge. He roared her name as the orgasm ripped through his body and slowly dissipated...
Her frustrated sigh brought him back to reality. He was unapologetic. "You know what happens...when you-" she leant on his chest, clearly amused by his awkwardness "-do that."
"Make it up to me." She had already slid off him and placed his hand between her legs. He felt the slippery wetness between her thighs and pulled a face.
"I'm not very good..."
"There's no need to be squeamish." She twisted his fingers to the right place; he dutifully began to move...
"...harder...mmm...that's it..." She wrapped her leg round his waist and rocked her hips back against his fingers. He studied her expression with growing interest - eyes tightly closed, teeth nipping her lips, face screwed up in concentration...
"...use your thumb." Stilling his hand, she turned it round to push deeper, moving his thumb to the spot where his fingers had been...
The effect was immediate. She arched her back and cried out as he eagerly increased the pace...
"Robert..."
His free hand circled her breast, hearing her muffled scream as she clenched round his fingers...
He hadn't finished.
Rolling them both over, he moved his hand to pin her to the bed. Her whimpers only spurred him on, driving into her until his own desire was satiated...He finally released her, stretched out on his back and closed his eyes in contentment...
"Get dressed." He opened his eyes in time to see his clothes being thrown at him.
"It's still early..."
"Joseph is meeting Opposition MPs this afternoon. I need to support him."
"But..." He mournfully watched her slip back into the lacy chemise...
"I am his wife, Robert."
He stood up and slowly began to dress, still distracted by the sight of his lover stepping into her gown. She turned round and rolled her eyes at his lack of progress.
"Let me help." She held his shirt out for him, then came round to the front, glancing her fingers over his chest and neck as she fastened each button and attached the collar. She slowly undid his fly, pretending to fumble with the button while rubbing her hand over the front of his trousers.
"Stop it..." He tried reaching for her wrists, but she was too quick for him. She dodged his grasp with an impish giggle while continuing to dress him - tucking his shirt in, snapping his braces on his shoulders, doing up cuff links and tightly knotting his tie. He was already finding it difficult to breathe.
"I could be your valet," she whispered in his ear, pressing her hands to his chest.
"We'd never get out the house. Anyway, I already have a valet."
"You'll find my skills quite..." her hands drifted down his chest "...extensive, milord."
His fingers clenched; he considered whether he had the strength throw her back to bed - or the wall! - and wipe that coy smile off her face...
She had already moved away to check her appearance in the mirror.
"Waistcoat. Jacket. Shoes." She busied herself with her own toilette. "Unless you want any more help?"
He quickly complied. She appraised his reflection in the mirror, gave an approving nod and beckoned him out the room.
Any attempt at propriety now was surely meaningless when the whole house had heard what they were doing. He nevertheless kept a respectable distance behind her as they walked downstairs.
When they reached the entrance hall, she squeezed his hand and smiled knowingly.
"Thank you for a very productive afternoon, Lord Downton."
A/N: Um, yeah...although this chapter is important, the fic is not all about sex (just as well, because I don't think I'm very good at writing it - sorry!) In fact, this is the only seriously M-rated chapter.
Stick with it - the next chapters will include - wait for it - an actual PLOT!