A short one-shot between natasha and clint. Hope you all enjoy it, also i do not own any of these characters or Avengers (because If i did there would be a spin off called 'Budapest'). Have fun!

"I miss you."

His voice was soft, barely above a heartbreaking whisper. She sat frozen against the phone, his words echoed through her mind, repeating like a broken record. It was like the world around her for that split second after his last syllable froze on its axis. Her words were caught in her throat and her heart beat loudly, so loud she thought he may even hear her.

When she heard him let out a heavy sigh the world was back in motion but before she could mutter a single syllable – beep. Natasha stared at the screen incredulously and was left absolutely baffled by Clint. Yet, she was more worried than confused – they were on missions, he knew contact would not be permitted yet…

"Madam, your tea." The waiter's voice intervened her trail of thoughts, snapping her back to reality.

"Right, thank you." She mutters.

"Anything the matter Miss Barton?" The person sat in front of her placed his cold, rough hands over hers and she simply played her award-winning smile before retracting her hand away.

"Of course not Mr. Gunter. Here, let me offer you some tea. It has an exquisite taste." She said.

He came back.

Well most of him at the least. His physical appearance remained indifferent but everything else changed drastically. His gazes never met with anyone else's and his head seemed permanently casted down creating a rather eerie shade over his once lively blue eyes. Now his presence was an embodiment of a ghost – his whole life force drained out of him.

When he came back, he walked right past Natasha barely acknowledging her presence. She could hear their gasps and feel their shocked stares boring into her skin. Clint left a cold gust of wind when he walked past, not even once glancing up from the floor. Suddenly, and most of all unexpectedly, her heart plummeted to the ground.

He remained close to non-existent around base. Clint was always good at keeping his distance, because in the distance it's when he was at his best, in the distance was the reason why S.H.I.E.L.D hired him and in a distance was when he noticed something inside Natasha she never realized. These memories that plague her were remnants of his past life, the past she knew she shouldn't linger upon, but that's all that flooded her mind whenever she caught a quick glance of his moving figure.

"Maybe something happened on the mission. Where did he go again?" Steve asked.

"Iraq. Went to check on IED producers." Natasha replied in a monotone voice, vacantly staring at the files displayed in front of her. The others noticed it, the small twitch in her hand whenever he was around and the lost spiraling around in her moss green eyes.

"What do you think happened?" Bruce asked.

"Who knows? He was trained for things like this. He'll get over it." Tony said callously. Natasha abruptly stood up catching everyone's attentions before storming out of the room.

"What was that for?" Steve asked incredulously.

"Think about it, where do you think she'll be heading now? If she doesn't know do you think we ever will? If she knows then maybe I could hack into the system to find out what is going on through the security cameras." Tony explained.

"Will that not be invading their personal spaces?" Thor asked raising an eye brow at Tony who casually shrugged at him.

"I am merely helping him. They both needed the push." Tony said.

"You are always one to push people around." Bruce commented.

"It's part of the reason why I have my fortune Banner." Tony replied.

Natasha stood hesitantly in front of Clint's door breathing in rhythm to stay calm. She unfolded her hand then folded it back into a fist repetitively and always kept her knuckles a breath away from the door but showed no initiation to actually knock on the door. Absent-mindedly, she ended up knocking on the door as the sound echoed into a silence in this empty, dark hallway. There was a pregnant moment of silence so heavy that Natasha felt like she was suffocating in the silence. She was never known for her patience and the prolong waiting fed into her annoyance. Knuckles turned white, she was going to smash the door open until it swung open.

In the midst of the darkness engulfing his spacious rooms stood an undead Clint leaning against the door frame. He glanced up with his empty cerulean eyes that once brought an unfamiliar warmth in her but now sent nothing but icy chills rushing through her body. Her mouth remained gaped open, stuttering through her inaudible words. She could smell the strong stench of alcohol intoxicating the place so strong she thought it could get her drunk.

"What Romanoff?" He sneered and it shocked her. Him call him by her last name, it was close to unheard of.

"Look if you are just going to stand there and stay quiet the whole God damn time then you should just leave." Clint said rudely before closing the door at her face. But before it completely shut, fueled by his unnecessary rudeness, she slammed the door opened with her brute force.

"What is wrong with you?" She yelled closing the door behind her as she barged herself into his dark room. She nudged him back (hard) and even in the dark Clint could see her jade eyes piercing at him.

He rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue before turning his back at her. In complete astonishment by his behavior, an irritated Natasha swiftly maneuvered in order to pin him down to the ground. She had her thighs wrapped tightly around his waist and her hands pressed down on his broad shoulders. His eyes remained vacant and hollow but they did not face her, he seemed blasé and averting her gaze.

"Look at me." She ordered but he remained still.

"Look at me Dammit!" She said pushing him further into the ground. When she realized he would not move her muscles relaxed as for once she felt oddly defeated by him. Her hands cupped his rugged face and forced him to face her but his eyes were staring at anywhere but her.

"Clint…" Her voice dropped into a pleading whisper and he heard it loud and clear. His eyes shot up and never had he seen such pleading vulnerability crying out in her eyes, "Please…just tell me what happened to you?" She asked unconsciously stroking his face.

Flashes of his mission plagued his mind, flooding his vision with the crimson color of blood that her vibrant hair ever so reminded him of. His ears echoed the sound of the agonizing screams and her delicate face displaying such uncanny helplessness reminded him of the child's face. Unintentionally, he looked away and moved his head out of her hands.

Her red hair casted a shadow over her face as she removed herself from him, "I came to help but clearly you don't want any. I miss you." She whispered

Her words struck him.

He jolted up and ran towards her, spinning her around before placing a rough kiss on her. Shocked by his actions she didn't know how to react but she wanted to and she did, she kissed him back. Her hands snaked up to the crook of his neck as his hands wrapped around her waist brought her closer to him. The feel of her rosy lips, the silky touch of her skin and the sensationally feeling of her body close to him…he didn't feel it. He felt numb. He wanted to feel. He needed to feel. Clint became more and more aggressive, tearing apart her clothes and kissing hotly all over her body. His callous hand travelled down her bare body and never had she thought, kissing Clint would send fear through her.

"Clint…" She said struggling under his grip. He ignored her and continued with her aggressive kisses.

"Stop it Clint." Natasha said louder and tried to push him away but he was being persistent. He silenced her with his lips and continued to kiss her with more ferocity. He knew this was so wrong. He knew it so well and he hated himself but he couldn't control himself.

"Clint!" Natasha shouted shoving him off. A loud clattering sound echoed through the room and she saw the crimson color of blood trickling down his forehead.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to…"

He was shaking.

When she ran towards him to check on him and the moment her hand touched his body she felt his tremors. It started off with a soft shake that ended up being an uncontrollable tremor. She pulled him into her embrace trying so hard to calm his shaking. He was constantly crying out apologies and hearing his broken voice broke her heart.

He felt her chest vibrating as she started to hum blocking out any sounds his mind was replaying. Started with a hum that turned into a soft singing that cooled him. She stroked the back of neck and her soft touch brought waves of electricity through him, warming him.

"What happened?" She asked.

"There was a boy…I was…taken into his village to check on IEDs. He was a good kid Nat." Clint started.

"What happened to him?" Natasha asked.

"They killed him and used him as a body bomb. Used his carcass as some bag for a bomb." Clint said, disgust dripping from his venomous voice.

"He pleaded and pleaded for me to go with him to town that night…the same night he was…"

"No." Natasha intervened, "Don't you dare blame this on yourself. If they weren't going to use him they were going to use someone else. You didn't know."

"But I should've it was my mission. That's all I had to do. Identify the IED producers and bring them down. They did that to themselves. They burned the whole God damn town down with them."

"It wasn't your fault Clint."

"I try to tell myself that every day but—"

"But nothing Clint." Natasha said aggressively as she pushed him off before standing up. He watched as she paced in front of him and sat herself down on the bed letting out a heavy sigh.

"Don't do this..."

"Do what?" Clint asked completely baffled by her current state.

"Lose control again. This isn't anything you can blame yourself on," She skidded on her knee to bring herself closer to him. Her delicate hands wrapped around his rough face, the two of them intertwined with each other was like a sweet contradiction. Natasha was holding onto him like he was a ticking time bomb, stroking the ends of his hair and clutching onto him tightly. His arms embraced her and he listened to the soothing sound of her shallow breathing, "I can't lose you again," She whispers gently, "It's not your fault…at all. You did your best, I know you did. You are my anchor. I can't have you being unstable." She confessed and he could feel her breathing and heart beat simultaneously become more erratic and it was he now that was holding her like she was a ticking time bomb.

"I won't. Don't worry, I'm here. I promise."

That promise he made in the dark was the promise that lit his way. His dedication to the promise brought sanity back to him mind and stability into his persona. The promise more importantly, brought him closer to a mutual begrudgingly love between two cautious spies.