A/N: I'd like to call this a typical J-drama-based fic, the kind that has poor ratings because it's so cliched, haha. Warnings: First person (something that I don't normally like to read NOR write, but somehow it just came out like that). Alternate Universe (Very. I have completely twisted everything around, so don't expect a setting that is in any way similar to actual!Gintama or 3Z universe). OOC (I do try, but I wanted to strike a balance between keeping the crack and making it as realistic as a J-drama as possible, so I may have compromised their characters a bit. Call it experimentation if you wish.)

This is for somebody as promised. Gin/Tae/Hijikata. Since it's a love triangle, no better setting than a J-drama dammit!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

This isn't a dramatic love story.

You often read novels, or watch movies, of extraordinary things, happening to ordinary people. Well, that doesn't happen in real life.

I am a normal, 25-year old young woman, trying to make something out of my life in Tokyo. I left my family in Fukuoka, probably because I watch too many dramas about the glamorous life in the big city. My family was against it, obviously. My father and younger brother didn't see why I couldn't just find a job in Fukuoka. After all, Fukuoka is an urban city too. But they don't get it.

I managed to find a job with a printing firm in Tokyo. My English isn't bad, so they got me on board as a translator-cum-personal-assistant to the director of operations of the Tokyo office. It wasn't a very big salary - which was perfectly normal for a graduate fresh out of university like me - but it was enough to live on. I found a reasonably decent apartment to stay in, whose rent I could afford.

For two years, I stayed on with the company. There was no real career prospect, but that was something I had prepared myself for and could live with for now, since I was fulfilling my dreams of living independently in Tokyo.

That's it really. Like I said, this isn't some dramatic love story.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Pssst! Tae! Otae-channnn~"

I looked up from where I was busily sifting through my boss's receipts. Poking his head past the door was a familiar, naturally-permed head. Gintoki.

"Let's go drink after work. Ii?" He flashed me a cheesy thumbs-up sign.

I rolled my eyes. Gintoki is in the marketing department, which makes a lot of sense, because it's the only department where you can get by just shooting horse crap out of your mouth. Nice enough guy who won't kick puppies, I guess, but it has to be said he will never win the Employee of the Month award. Not that he cares. We somehow click, probably because I am the only female in the office immune to his charms. Every other female (and some males) I know has been a victim at some point or another.

"You're just in a pinch because Tsukuyo-san isn't speaking to you," I shot at him.

Gintoki twitched. "That hurt, Otae-chan. Come on, like you have anything to do anyway."

"Fine. Now get lost before Kondo-san sees you."

Gintoki made a face - how incredibly mature of him - but left, mercifully. I really had to get these done before the weekend.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So? What happened this time?"

Gintoki and I were hanging out at our regular bar - Snack Otose. We like to hang here on nights after work / some weekends because it's always pretty quiet. Probably because the bartender is some old woman. She's pretty witty and gives good advice, but no one wants to go to a bar that isn't full of pretty girls.

Gintoki rested his chin on his hand. "She just saw some text messages from that idiot Sarutobi Ayame. You know, from PR. It's totally uncalled for! Everyone knows she's been stalking me for years now."

"And you do nothing to encourage it. Uh-huh."

"Fine, and there were some pictures too, but it's not like I can control what a stalker does. More importantly, what about you?"

"What about me what?"

Gintoki gave me a Look. "I've known you for 2 years, Otae-chan...and in those two years you have not dated a single guy. How are you going to get hitched? Are you planning to be single for the rest of your life?"

"You have dated countless women in the same 2 years and somehow, I feel that you aren't any closer to settling down than I am, Gin-san."

"But you're almost 25 now-" Gintoki dodged my punch. Conditioned reflex. Sorry. "Come on. Why don't I set you up with somebody I know?"

"Your friends aren't normal."

"You hardly are," Gintoki shot back, for which I managed to successfully land a clean hit on his jaw. "Fine, fine. What about Shinsuke? He's a looker."

"And a psycho."

"Sakamoto's an amusing guy! He always livens up the party."

"He also danced naked on your coffee table at the last party. I think he has a few loose screws."

"He can't hold his sake too well. Oh, I know! Zura! He just had a fight with that chick he was going out with-"

I wrinkled my nose. "Katsura-san is a nice guy but frankly speaking? Weirdo. And metro much? He's more obsessed about his hair than any woman I know."

Gintoki glared at me. "Why do I even bother? Sheesh, Otae-chan. Fine. Be single your whole life, I don't care."

"I didn't ask you to care! And I don't want to be lectured by a guy who sleeps around!"

"I don't sleep around!"

As we bickered, Otose-san came by with our dinner order - ramen for Gintoki, a rice set for me.

"Oi, oi. You guys should stop bickering like that. Makes you look like a married couple."

Both Gintoki and I gagged. "Give me a break, baba. Who the hell wants to marry such a violent- OW! See what I mean!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Anyway, I heard something interesting from Hanako-chan in HR."

I rolled my eyes. "Hitting on her again? Pathetic. Anyway, I warned her about you."

We were both heading home from Snack Otose. It was still early, but I get sick in a cab easily, so we had to haul our asses before the trains stop running.

"Why do you always think the worst of me?" Gintoki protested indignantly. "Anyway - I heard that we're hiring a new regional director. You know, for the regional expansion project."

"How interesting," I commented sarcastically. "What does it have to do with me?"

"Nothing, except that he's going to be working under Kondo-san directly, so you'll probably see this dude a lot too. Hanako-chan won't tell me anything else though. Just boring stuff like he's just going to be here under Kondo-san's tutelage for a few years...before they ship him off to direct our new office in Fukuoka."

"Ah, I should call Shinpachi. Haven't done it in a while."

"Are you listening?"

"Hai, hai."

Gintoki glared at me. "You know, this could be it. Your chance!"

"My chance to...?"

"Hanako wouldn't show me a picture, but she says he's apparently really good-looking...she was there at the interview."

"Gintoki."

"What."

"You know, I really appreciate it, but will you please stop all these schemes to hook me up with someone?"

"They're not schemes! And I'm saying this because you're not getting any younger but you are making totally zero effort at this. You don't even try - whoa." Gintoki suddenly stopped and stared. "You a lesbian?"

I grabbed his ear and yanked it. Hard.

"Oww! I mean, I know Kyuubei stalks you -"

"Kyuubei's just a good friend, okay? We know each other from high school! There is no way she...whatever you implied. And she does not stalk me."

"Fine." Gintoki coughed. I caught the word 'denial' at the end of it but decided to ignore it. I had a feeling I would miss if I tried punching him at my current alcohol levels and that would be embarrassing.

My train finally chugged in. I stood up to leave. "See you Monday. And call Tsukuyo-san, please."

"Yeah, when she's stopped being angry enough to kill me. Don't forget to text-"

"Yes, yes. Stop nagging." I walked towards the train as its doors opened.

"Your father will kill me if anything happens to you!"

"My father doesn't even know you!"

"He would if you died!"

I turned to wave as the train doors closed.

The train was rather full still, but I managed to find a seat that wasn't next to any drunk perverts.

As I sat down, I leaned back and closed my eyes, but found myself mulling over what Gintoki had said.

Two years had flown past. And as Gintoki had said - in those two years, I hadn't dated anyone, much less had a boyfriend.

Gintoki claimed I was choosy. But give me a break - the only people who had shown interest in me was Kondo-san, also known as my boss and the director of operations in our printing firm. He had fallen for me for some strange reason I couldn't fathom and spent a lot of time hitting on me for the past two years (and strangely had not given up) despite how much I bullied and tortured him at times. But he was old, looked like a gorilla and was just plain strange.

No thanks to Gintoki and everyone else who kept shoving it in my face, I WAS starting to worry a little.

Oh, screw it. I'll just work until retirement and save up enough money to check myself into a retirement home.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Ohayou gozaimasu, Kondo-san," I greeted our revered (as if) director as he stepped into the room outside his room, aka my office.

"Oh right, Otae-chan! Can I see you for a minute?"

Wondering what Kondo was about to spring on me and guessing that it would have to do with the incoming new regional director, I got up from my desk and followed Kondo into his office.

Once Kondo had settled down behind his large desk and I had seated myself opposite of him, Kondo leaned forward.

"What I'm about to tell you is highly confidential," Kondo said.

I immediately had no doubt that whatever it was, the whole office probably already knew.

"As you know, this company has plans to expand to other regions - Hokkaido, Osaka, Fukuoka - hang on, isn't that where you were from, Otae-chan? Ii na... I would love to see where you grew up in-"

"Hurry up Kondo-san. I still have to go through your presentation slides for the expansion team tomorrow."

"Right, right...anyway, we had planned on getting an intern for him to act as his PA, but he's starting a lot sooner than we expected and HR is still sitting on the intern requests, so I said you could help out a bit. You don't mind, right? Right, Otae-chan?"

My eyebrow twitched. I opened my mouth to start telling him off -

"We'll pay you extra, of course. Since you'll be acting as a PA to two people now-"

Extra? Hello, Paris!

"Of course!" I happily clasped my hands together as though I could not think of anything more pleasurable than to double my burden of slavery. "I'll do it."

"Great! So, he's coming at.." Kondo glanced at his watch. "Ten. Could you set up a meeting for us? Thanks! And the slides too."

Fuck you, Kondo-san.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A/N: I have this thing about...I need to put all my stories in completely different settings or else I kind of can't believe them, if you know what I mean?

Believe it or not, I am STILL working on my other fics. Timeskip has to hold, because the next arc is long and complicated and needs planning. I'm still working on the last chapter of Marry Me as well. It's almost done but I'm a perfectionist and won't let go until I'm 100% satisfied. Yukue is doing okay but haven't got the time to do that final look-over. I also owe my boss a lot of stuff, but I wanted to publish this because I felt like I needed a break and I've been in a J-drama mood recently. Ha ha. When I get stressed I tend to start thinking of new fics rather than work on my existing ones. I am So Sorry. I wrote this while listening to Harada Tomoyo's Kuchinashi no Oka, which is very J-drama-no-kanji.