Exile: I don't own KHR.

My third KHR fic ^_^ I hope you enjoy!

Warning: Cussing, insanity, the Varia, Mukuro, and a crackpot psychologist

Pairings: Crack!all27. No romantic OCxCanon

Just Another Psych Project

On the campus of Universita Degli Studia di Enna Kore, one very, very ticked Asian dashed through the flood of morning students with an irate expression, heading towards the Psychology building in hopes of getting a good seat before her lecturer got her again for being late.

Luck was not on her side, however, as she flung herself through the door and was met with the view of all the seats in the room taken, albeit for one lone seat directly in front of Professor Nendo Rittai's desk. The student scowled fiercely, glaring at her blond professor with something akin to homicidal tendencies.

The period passed by without a hitch, if you could dismiss the common occurrence of Student No. 307973 lunging over the desk at the professor's throat as something normal. "I'm going to murder you one day, Rittai! I swear!" she howled as the tide of students carried out of the classroom. Now walking around campus for the lunch break, Sei Usomine glared at the sheaf of papers in her hands with venom. "Another…fucking…Psych project…" she hissed, staring at the papers in hopes that they would vaporize and leave her project-less. Unfortunately, her life was not a manga, so they simply remained in her arms. "Shit."

The final project of the year (well, the final MAJOR project of the year) for the Psychology majors under the tutelage of one annoying Pr. Nendo Rittai was psychoanalysis. Specifically, it entailed meeting up and psychoanalyzing 25 people, then writing a report on their different mental states. That meant 25 annoyances for Sei to deal with, and 25 pages of torture to write. The black-haired woman fumed silently, running around campus in an attempt to find her venting friend.

Thank God for brunettes with bad sense of direction, are head of a Mafia family, and don't mind venting anger with me.

"I have to what?" one Tsunayoshi Sawada asked in carefully disguised anger, a tick mark on his head as he conversed with his former mentor and current pest-in-the-side, Reborn, who had just received news from the Ninth to relay to him.

"Hmph, Dame-Tsuna, you have to have your subordinates go through a check-up to make sure that they are still fit to work. Everyone has to do it every year," Reborn repeated once again, for the sake of the priceless expression on his student's face.

"Are you kidding me? Look," here he gestured desperately to the piles of paperwork on his desk, "at all of this! If they're fit enough to be running around causing me this much trouble and this much paperwork, then they're definitely fit for work," the brunette all but growled, his anger boiling. Reborn took another glance at the paperwork mountain range that was Tsuna's desk and looked away, trying not to let the memories of his own paperwork days resurface.

"Well, what about their mental health? Future Byakuran wasn't exactly right in the head, and if some psychologist registered him as not fit for working, then imagine how much destruction would have been prevented," Reborn rebuked. Tsuna rolled his eyes and slumped down in his chair in defeat.

"Reborn…if you don't remember, the Vongola Family Psychologist admitted himself into the asylum last week and the job is vacant at the moment," he said pointedly, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his head caused by too much paperwork, "and the substitute was sent to an asylum three days ago and diagnosed from schizophrenia."

"Well, you're the Tenth Boss of Vongola. Go recruit someone, Dame-Tsuna," the hitman replied before kicking Tsuna out of the office.

Tsuna sat up from the plush carpet, rubbing his lower back in pain, "Geez, his kicks are still as strong as they were ten years ago…" releasing a sigh, the young Mafia Don exited the building to go to the nearby University campus. The only thing on his mind right now?

Venting.

"Tsuna!" the university student exclaimed as she saw her anger-venting friend.

"Sei!" he called her name in greeting, a broad smile on his face that definitely had to do with the murderous thoughts in his head at the moment.

"That bastard Rittai assigned us a psychoanalysis project, so now I have to do 25 people and write up 25 fucking reports!"

"I have to find someone to do a check-up on my subordinates mental state, and the psychologist retired yesterday! And I need to do it soon before the paperwork piles up!"

"…Hey, want some strawberry cheesecake?"

"Sure. Are you going to buy gelato again?"

At the Del Ricci Café, the clerk at the counter shook his head with a sigh. The common occurrence of those two meeting up and yelling at each other on sight was so common for his and the other workers that they were able to ignore it without problems. In fact, even all the other regular customers had become accustomed to the two and often contributed in the rather interesting discussions.

"Gah, that Reborn, I swear he's going to kill me someday on purpose!" Tsuna spat angrily as he chewed on his strawberry cheesecake. "And my Guardians….I'd like to lock them up in my office full of paperwork someday, just so they can see how much trouble I'm getting from them!"

Sei glared back over the table and took another bite of her mint chocolate chip gelato, "Rittai needs to die! He knows how much I hate people and he increased the amount of people I have to do because I was 2 minutes late to class! Only 2 fucking minutes," she fired back.

The two of them froze, sucking in deep breaths, and all the other customers automatically vacated their seats, opting for a safer place under the tables. Many pulled out earplugs and headphones. At the same time, Sei's usually calm expression grew a rather homicidal grin, and Tsuna's eyes were shut as he smiled widely.

"Argh! Reborn/Rittai, DIE FOR DUMPING OTHER PEOPLE'S MENTALITIES ON US!" they screamed in anger, flipping over the table they had been sitting at (no food was wasted, as Tsuna and Sei had made sure to finish their sweets before they started rage-quitting) The dishes landed safely on the other seat and the duo simultaneously released an undisclosed amount of killing intent at their tormentors.

Also at the same time, Sei's Psych 101 professor felt a shiver up his spine, and Reborn sneezed violently. (He was a hitman, and hitmen don't shudder at people's killing intent directed at them.)

A few minutes later, Sei and Tsuna had tired out their killing-intent-emitting cells which psychologists and Mafia Dons are born with and sat back down, staring at the café's menu. The other people took back their vacant seats, and there were some bets flying around as to whether one of the two would break a dish again by stabbing the plate too hard.

Sei Usomine was your standard Japanese Psychology student. Black hair that went down to her waist and was always, always in a ponytail, black eyes that were efficient with emitting death-glares, light skin good for blending in with the crowds of other Italian students, a habit of observing people, and a healthy sense of sarcasm. She was 25, a self-acclaimed speed-reader and sweets-addict, and her best friend (and only friend, though she'd never admit that Tsuna was her friend) was the Vongola Decimo, much to her pride. She went to Universita Degli Studia di Enna Kore on the island of Sicily, Italy, as a transfer student from Tokyo Daigaku in Japan.

Tsunayoshi Sawada, on the other hand, was Tenth Boss of the Vongola Famiglia, the most influential family in the Mafia. He was 25 as well, and was ranked by Fuuta as "Number One Mafioso Marriage Partner" and "Number Three Most Handsome Mafioso" (Hibari and Mukuro tied for Second. First place was unknown.) It was easy to see why, as he had gravity-defying brown hair that stuck up everywhere but managed to make him look more refined, and the brown locks promised fluffiness if anyone dared to pat his head. Tsuna's eyes made you want to just stare at him and (according to several people, Byakuran and Mukuro included) kidnap him and keep him for yourself. He was a bit taller than Sei, a fact that she, at 5'11'', constantly grumbled about. The Vongola Famiglia's main base was in Sicily, and thus here he was.

As to how they knew each other…it had to do with Tsuna getting lost and walking into the Psych classroom one day instead of the correct meeting room. Curse his sense of direction.

"So, what's your problem?" Sei muttered as she nursed a cup of espresso. "Mine's fairly simple, but with your…situation, nothing is." Tsuna glanced at the woman next to him, a grin lighting up as he saw that she was attempting to be polite for once. If anything, she was like a sister he would never get to have.

"I…every year, we need to send reports to the current boss, the Ninth at the moment, reports on our main subordinates' status to deem them fit for…work," he explained reluctantly, "Our family's psychologist admitted himself into the asylum last week and the backup was sent to another one after being diagnosed with schizophrenia. And the punishment for not meeting the deadline, which is two months from now, is extra paperwork duties."

"Ooh…ouch, dang. Sucks for you," she replied with a grimace. "All I need to do is psychoanalyze people and write up reports on their mental conditions like an actual psychologist. 25 people is my quota. What about you?"

"Hmm…there's my Guardians, the Varia, Shoichi, Spanner, Byakuran for some reason, Basil, Lal, Kusakabe, Bianchi, Fuuta, I-Pin, Dino, and myself, of course…that's about 25 people." All of a sudden, a glimmer appeared in his eyes. Sei promptly started to edge away from her friend, knowing that as a sign that Tsuna had gotten an idea.

"…Do I want to know why you're so happy all of a sudden?" she grumbled. Tsuna turned to face her, the expression on his face changing to the one that no one could resist. It had been ranked as "Second Most Manipulative Expression in the Mafia" and Sei started to consider fleeing or not.

"I have 25 people who need to meet a psychologist, and you're a psychology intern that needs 25 clients! It's perfect!" he exclaimed gleefully, ignoring the look of horror that emerged on Sei's face. "Please, Sei?"

The Japanese woman dropped her spoon, mouth closing and opening like a fish as she speedily calculated her chances of going insane by the time she was done with her project. "But...no, just no. I like my sanity the way it is, thank you very much."

"I'll pay you per person. The prices will be negotiable, and all damages will be paid by the Vongola," Tsuna offered in reply.

"…Give the clients my address. When do I start?"

Exile: Sei's greed = Mammon's greed.

Review? Tell me who should be tortured- er, examined first! The choices are:

Any of the Guardians (Gokudera, Yamamoto, Mukuro, Chrome, Hibari, Ryohei, Lambo), any of the Varia (Xanxus, Squalo, Fran, Bel, Leviathan, Lussuria), Shoichi, Spanner, Basil, Lal, Kusakabe, Bianchi, Fuuta, I-pin, and Dino. I intend to save Byakuran for the last XD