Glorious Purr

An AVENGERS fanfic.

Disclaimer: Avengers, and all associated characters of the cinematic universe, are the property of Marvel and Disney. This is a fanwork.

A/N- This story was inspired by a prompt on the kinkmeme. The prompt was thus:

"I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purr!" Do something with this. Please? All I ask is no smut. And he could even have been trying to say his canon line... but got cut off. Yet I like the idea of Loki with cat ears and tail...

Summary: In which AVENGERS goes far, far differently and Loki has grown himself cat ears and tail while in the VOID. There be crack ahead.

Contrary to popular belief, the Void is not. There quite a few beasts that call the near-endless not-quite-emptiness home, but out of necessity these creatures develop quirks enabling them to survive the sometimes eons between meals and social events. The native were monstrous behemoths by most others' standards. It can be a lonely, solitary life in the there-but-not where dreams are the rule and reality is more like a vague suggestion.

Loki fell into the Void hoping to find death. He didn't. Hunger gnawed at his spine, and in a knee-jerk reaction of self-preservation his sanity fled to the farthest reaches of unknown space. He met people, for a given value of people, and they had tea parties for a given value of tea and parties.

He even had the occasional liaison, if it could be called that.

When Loki finally emerged out the other side his mind resembled something closer to sentient scrambled eggs than the steel trap it had been before his fall. Thanos took one look at the strange creature that Death had spared, the reason behind Loki still living Thanos couldn't fathom, but if She had yet to take him perhaps slitting the creature's throat himself would be... unappreciated.

But was Thanos to do with him? The Loki beast was disturbing his carefully maintained order, rubbing up against all his soldiers and letting out that rumbling purr that mesmerized even those implanted with neural control crystals. There had to be some task, some distraction, er, quest he could send the sleek, graceful, utterly mad godling on.

His spies had reported signs of the legendary Cube's cosmic energy patterns strengthening of late, nearly enough to triangulate the position...

"Loki." Thanos sent one of his shamans in his place. He had noticed that the Odd One had a thing for round or shining objects, and decided to combine the two elements into a staff that would hopefully keep the other happy and out of his way. The boy accepted the staff gleefully, as though it was his just due, rubbing his cheek along the length of it but not, sadly, slicing his face on the bladed end. "We want you to go to... Midgard was it? Get us the Tesseract and you can have the whole planet to yourself."

Even if Loki had declined the offer, they would have given the backwater marble to him anyway, eventually, as a sort of play pen to store the hyper, easily distracted and distracting being.

Traveling by wormhole was far more interesting than Bifrost, and much faster than taking the long way. Even if the build up of energies necessary to connect the two endpoints took nearly half a week, as the Chitauri count time, the sensation of being broken up into his base particles and reformed on the other side was something he couldn't wait to experience again. It was a little tiring, true, but the adrenaline rush!

"Sir. Please put down the spear." A dark skinned mortal called out in a voice used to command.

Loki grinned and stood, gazing upon his new subjects with a knowing gleam.

"I am Loki of Asgard." He stated, because it was his name and he'd rather not have them name him something silly like socks or mittens. What was it with Midgardians and naming things after articles of clothing?

"Loki? Thor's brother..." The dumpy one muttered in slight confusion.

"I don't remember Thor having..." Another man gestured vaguely to his head and Loki sniffed indignantly, turning his head away as he caught sight of...

"SHINY!" His staff clattered to the grating as he bounded across the room and settled in to stare at the glowing blue cube, heedless of the weapons following belatedly in his path and the few bullets that ricocheted around the room. He poked it with a finger and giggled. "Pretty Shiny..."

"Okay..." The leader breathed, his single eye flicking to the still expanding vortex.

The dumpy one by the machines coughed. "He is supposed to be adopted. Or something like it... god of... mischief."

"You mean like raiding the trash bin and unrolling all the toilet paper? Shredding drapes?" The eagle eyed soldier snarked as the security forces circled and reorganized.

"Agent Barton." One Eye snapped in admonishment as he stood close, but not too close, to the enchanted Loki. He propped the abandoned spear on his shoulder. "Loki. I know the Tesseract is pretty, but there's a big black hole behind us..."

Loki only blinked when a hand touched his head and started scratching behind his ear. He rumbled his pleasure and leaned into the touch, glancing absently back at the mess that threatened to destroy the facility. He flexed his fingers and took the vortexes' measure. He'd seen bigger ones during his fall, and met creatures that played with black holes like a potter did clay.

He shook his head, a silent command for the man to keep petting him, opening his arms as in an embrace to slowly wrench the destructive energy out and away. Task completed, he smiled and nuzzled at his new favorite minion's neck, happily tired from the day's activities. His eyes started to shutter closed as he murmured as though imparting the most valuable of information, "I am burdened with glorious purr."

He then demonstrated it.

"SHINY!" Loki yowled his battle cry while leaping from the top of the Flying Fortress he'd taken over, at least in his own mind, only to land on a human male with a fuzzy face who smelled of spirits and coconuts.

"GAH!" The human screamed, arms flailing as he fell. "Fury! You didn't say you had attack fanboys!"

"He isn't a fanboy, Stark, at least not one for you."

Loki didn't know or care what a fanboy was. He simply popped his claws and shredded the fabric blocking his view, purring once the arc reactor was fully revealed. He matched his own rumble to the minute humming of the machine and closed his eyes in pleasure as two hands came up and started massaging his ears.

"Oh, velvety. Nice. Wow. This brings a whole new meaning to the term 'cat person', not to mention all that cartoon porn I watched at MIT."

"Stark!"

"And, hey! Tail! He's got a tail too! I want a tail! Especially if it's prehensile."

"Stop distracting my consultant, Stark-"

"I thought I was your consultant. Have you been cheating on me?"

The one eyed son of the furies glared at Loki's prey. "When you can give me the facts, figures, and an itemized list of strengths and weakness' for over 200 species of alien as well as the governing bodies associated with the Nine Recognized Planets, then you can have the job."

"Seriously...? You trust this guy's information?" One of the hands moved under Loki's chin and started scratching, his head bobbed following the movement.

"Well, we did manage a brief connection to Vanaheim and confirm a few things before the portal destabilized, so we're working on the assumption the rest is legit."

"You're building a Stargate!" Excited accusation, almost puppy-like in its intensity.

"Two words, Stark. Plausible. Deniability."

"Pepper! Give it back!"

"No."

"JARVIS, make Pepper give me my laser pointer back!"

"Where did the red faery go?" Loki demanded, eyes wide as scanned the carpet for the tiny spy.

"You can have it back when you learn some maturity."

"If you don't give it back I'll just build another out of scraps!" Tony followed Pepper out of the conference room. "I could take over the world with a box of scraps!"

Loki was riding in the flying lifeboat with the Man of Shiny and the Man of Shield; the Lady the Spider was piloting their craft with the Lord the Hawk, when it started to rain. Loki felt the change in air pressure before anything else, his ears popping uncomfortably, but before he could reach up to take care of the problem the Man of Shield absently reached over and rubbed them for him. Loki purred. He knew he had them well trained, and they even took care of polishing and storing Thanos' present for him when they weren't in battle!

"Afraid of a little lightning?" The shield barer asked in concern as Loki shivered, a ripple of unnatural energy following a blast of thunder.

"I'm not... overly fond of what follows."

"Lots of animals don't like thunder." Lord the Hawk commented as he fiddled with the joystick. "I remember this dog I had as a kid, he was just fine with storms until the lightning started. Then he'd jump in your lap shivering -this was a 150 pound Mastiff, mind- and sometimes it got so bad we'd have to stick a tranquilizer in his biscuit."

Loki narrowed his eyes and stated primly. "I am nothing like a dog."

Something hit the roof, and the Man of Shiny cursed as the Lord the Hawk adjusted to the sudden significant increase in weight. Loki hissed and curled into his seat. Their armored companion huffed and punched the button to lower the rampart, which the Man of Shield loudly objected to, and before anyone could knock off whatever piece of debris had landed on their flying vessel a big blonde in a red cape took the open door as an invitation, marching in with a scowl.

"Loki!"

Loki suddenly regretted the fact he had left his shiny staff safely secured in its carrying case -supposedly in the event that anyone else with grabby hands (Doom was the name bandied about) saw it and tried to steal his shiny. Thor's hand wrapped around his very fine and elegant throat, jerking him from his comfy seating and all but throwing him out into the rain.

"Oh, shit! We lost Fury's ca- consultant! He's going to kill us!" Clint groaned as he began turning the plane around.

"Na-uh." Tony sing-songed as he lowered his face-plate and brought up the HUD. "I got a tracking chip in his choker."

"You're the one who gave him that collar?" Steve asked, unsure if he should be offended or not. On the one hand Loki was a thinking being, even if most of his thoughts revolved around how he could get things to glow/sparkle/explode or get people to pet him. On the other it was coming in dead useful.

"I'll have you know chokers are all the rage in certain circles, emos and goths included." Tony jumped out of the plane, and all Steve could think of was how badly he wanted life to be supple and cheesy again, like fondue.

"Do not touch me again!" Thor shouted into the drizzle, and Loki sniffed as he nursed his bruised backside. Dirt burns sucked, and with all the pain his tailbone was in it was a wonder he hadn't been paralyzed.

The Man of Shiny roared his response, "Then don't touch my stuff!"

"You have no idea what you're dealing with."

"Shakespeare in the Park? Doth mother know, you weareth her drapes?"

Loki burst out laughing. Thor looked at him as if he had grown a second head rather than new pair of ears. "What?" He asked, genuinely curious. "It was funny!"

Thor shook his head and pointed his hammer at Loki whilst he addressed the Man of Shiny, voice imploring. "My brother is beyond all reason, you cannot hope to control-"

"Well, we've been doing a pretty good job so far. It isn't that hard. Make sure his bedding is changed every week, keep a good supply of milk and pastries on hand, lots of tummy rubs... I've had girlfriends higher maintenance than him."

The Man of Shield arrived from above, making his own small muddy crater as he landed. "Just because something's got a few screws loose doesn't mean you have to throw it out."

"When a drunk falls down he does less harm to himself than a sober person! This is experience talking!" Tony insisted on one-upping the Captain, even if no one was quite sure how that applied to the present.

Loki frowned and crossed his arms, sniffling while making his eyes big and green and pathetic. "My fur is getting wet!"

Like the well-trained monkeys they were, Steve pulled Thor aside and started lecturing on jurisdictional lines and extradition laws and whatnot while Tony flew over and picked the felinesque individual up, apologizing for letting the idiot blonde molester him.

Loki purred, the sound resonating with the thrum of the universe and bending their hearts to his will.

He willed himself a sandwich.*

*Quite possibly a cheeseburger, but Loki is rather fond of tuna surprise.