Will You Be Missing Me?

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters, J.K. Rowling does, nor do I own the song "Missing" by Evanescence.

AN: I only put a single line of each stanza of the lyrics on here since I can't put up the whole song because of Fanfiction. So just listen to the song while reading this story, once it says to! :)

"Avada Kedavra!" – Speaking

'Knowledge is power!' – Thoughts

~.~

It was the evening of Friday November 11th of Harry Potter's fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. Who was Harry Potter you say? The Boy-Who-Lived? NO! That's a misconception, he's the younger twin brother of the Boy-Who-Lived.

There were two children born on July 31st, 1980 and only one was crowned the Boy-Who-Lived. Harry's twin James Jr. (the Sr. was and is a bit self-absorbed) was the older of the two with light brown messy hair and round glasses overlooking hazel-green eyes, freckles on his slightly childish-chubby cheeks, broad shoulders and a height of about 5'4'' with a lightly rounded body from eating high fatty foods but with Quidditch to counterbalance the weight a bit. James Jr. was the epitome of a Gryffindor, brash, loud, mischievous (the next Marauder generation with his group), a chaser for the Gryffindor's and a playboy. (He really took after his father, but everyone called him Jimmy to tell the difference). Then we have Harry himself, he had dark as night hair that's slightly past the shoulders in a low ponytail (missed the Messy Hair Potter Gene – that went to the first-born), large glistening Avada Kedavra green eyes, high cheekbones befitting a pureblood, pale skin from indoor activities such as his Ravenclaw studying habits, and the height of 5'1'' with a graceful lithe body.

You couldn't have two different twins than these two. Jimmy had a posse of followers and a group of people he could call friends with Hermione Granger the smarts, Ronald Weasley the strategic comic relief, Ginny Weasley his fiery girlfriend/number one fangirl, and Neville Longbottom the herbology expert. His posse was headed by Parvati Patil & Lavender Brown. Harry only had 'one' friend (that everyone 'knew'), another outcast in the Ravenclaw house, a third year named Luna Lovegood who's quirky demeanor casted her from her classmates on the first day.

Both at home and at school the attention was all on Jimmy even though Harry had the number one spot in academics, Jimmy got praise for his mediocre grades, chaser skills, getting the professors to save the philosopher's stone, taking credit for saving Ginny from Harry (no basilisk was slayed – stayed alive under the command of Harry and Harry destroying the diary), "catching" Peter Pettigrew and getting saved from dementors by Harry (though no one knew it), and now Jimmy got picked to be the fourth champion for the Triwizard Tournament (Harry didn't complain though). At home, although Harry had never been hit, he had been severely neglected, his parents, Godparents (Sirius and Remus) forget that they had a second child/godchild. Harry was all but forgotten, no birthdays celebrated by supposedly family, only his best friend Luna, not get taken out to Quidditch games, to the park, or other fun outings as a family, his only family were the house-elves. Harry had just given up getting love from his family since he was eight years old.

Now as it stood, every year the fourth years were hit by a spell to determine their soul song along with the memories that showed why the song was their soul song. It was given in this year because 14-year old's were old enough to know right from wrong but were not old enough to be set in their ways. So every second Friday of November the spell was done in front of the whole school and since it was the Triwizard Tournament this year, Durmstrang Institute and Beauxbatons Academy of Magic got to watch the proceedings. They had no need to go through the ritual since they had already done so. But there's a catch, even though everyone did see the memories and knew the soul song, the only ones who remembered were the ones the child wanted to remember. Also, the ones who know could not tell anyone not in the know and could not discuss it unless they were the only ones there (physically or not).

The fourth years started with the Slytherins, then the Hufflepuffs, the Gryffindors, and lastly the Ravenclaws. Some people were honestly surprised by their soul songs like Ron Weasley because he tried to hide his insecurities within himself but it came out anyway, with the song "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne that's about hiding behind a façade and being true to yourself, Ron had been hiding things from his 'friends' (as he would sneer) and he just wanted to break his mask and wanted to show everyone where his true allegiances were. Others were not so surprising, like Draco Malfoy and the song "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" by Good Charlotte which was about materialism and being rich (self-explanatory), then there's Hermione Granger with "The Logical Song" by Supertramp that's about logic could restrict creativity and passion, which was true with Hermione and her narrow mind, and lastly there was Jimmy, Mr. Fantastic himself with the same song as Draco Malfoy, (his father had the exact same song as well as Lucius Malfoy, I wonder why? coughRichAssholescough).

The last person to go was Harry Potter from the Ravenclaw house.

~.~

"We are almost done, we have one person left to go from the Ravenclaw house then you all can go up to bed," announced McGonagall through the Great Hall, "now Harry Potter you have to go, stand up please."

Sitting at the Ravenclaw table Harry Potter was shaking slightly but it was only noticed by Luna Lovegood (and some hidden friends) since they were separated from everyone else at the front of the table. Giving her support, Luna squeezed his hand before letting him stand up with him giving her a small smile in acknowledgment. Harry stared stoically at Professor McGonagall for her to hit him with the soul song spell. McGonagall raised her wand at Harry and stated the final words that would keep him from being invisible to the ones that hurt him most, "Carmen Animus."

~.~

The words blared loudly over the Great Hall for all to hear along with the memories of his life that he would've liked to keep secret. (The song "Missing" by Evanescence…start listening to it).

"Please, please, forgive me."

"Harry Potter age 4"

Harry is a cute little four-year-old dressing up in his best clothes to go to his birthday party, wearing a button-up emerald top, black slacks, and bright black dress shoes. Smiling to himself of a job well done he goes downstairs to where the party is held and peeks into the living room. He sees a bunch of kids from different families, such as the Weasley's, the Longbottom's, the Brown's, the Abbott's, and the Bones' to name a few. Happy with so many kids who can be his friends, but before that he wants to see his birthday cake before everyone eats it. So using all his sneaking skills (which is pretty impressive to not make any heads turn his way), he sneaks into the kitchen to look at the large Hogwarts-like cake with an inscription on it saying "Happy Fourth Birthday James Jr.!" Frowning Harry looks all around the cake and couldn't find his name, so he goes to his mommy to ask where his cake is because it might be somewhere else, maybe bigger than James Jr.! With glee, Harry searches out his mommy and finds her talking to a slightly plump red-headed woman.

"This is a great party for Jimmy Lily," commented the red-headed woman.

"Thanks Molly, he needs all the fun and gifts he can get for being my best little boy!" Replied Lily. Frowning, Harry leans closer to hear better, 'Maybe I didn't hear good enough…' "Yes, this party is all for Jimmy, gotta give him the best! Did you see what birthday cake he wanted? Took a few hours to bake it and specially encode it with his name, took all day to make this his best party!"

"It took you…" Not hearing the rest of the conversation, Harry runs up to his bedroom and jumps on his bed crying his little heart out.

Everyone watching this memory actually had some tears flowing down their cheeks, well, except the most hard-core Slytherins since they weren't supposed to show much emotion to outsiders. Harry, watching his memories flow out of him and the sad singing by a woman swept him in terror. He never felt so vulnerable before and it started to get to him. But before he could hyperventilate, Luna rubbed soothing circles on his back, releasing his tense muscles and allowing him to relax slightly.

"You won't cry for my absence, I know."

"Harry Potter age 5"

Little Harry is up in his room reading a potions book for children waiting to be called down for dinner. This dinner is one of the three days a week his Godfathers, Sirius and Remus or as he calls them Uncle Paddy and Uncle Moony, will come over to eat with them. Harry loves his Godfathers, especially when Uncle Paddy will change into the doggie. "Jimmy come down for dinner Uncle Paddy and Uncle Moony are here!" Yells his mommy up the stairs. From his room Harry can hear the running pitter-patter of his brother going down the hall and the stairs, "Uncle Paddy! Uncle Moony! You're here!" Harry waits a while for his mommy to call him down for dinner so he can greet his favorite uncles, but the call never comes. After five minutes Harry sets down his book on the desk and goes down the stairs for dinner but all he finds is a table set for five, not six… five, one for his mommy, daddy, Uncle Paddy, Uncle Moony, and his brother Jimmy. Everyone is laughing at some joke or another from Sirius while Harry is staring from the doorway transfixed that they are eating without him, like they forgot…him…

Tears are falling down Harry's cheeks as he stares from the doorway with no one even noticing.

Looking across the hall, he notices Luna consoling Harry. He wanted to go to him and show him his support, but he promised that he would pretend to be his brother's friend to keep him away from Harry. Jimmy was not all that nice to his brother and Harry made him promise to pretend otherwise they would be forced apart by Jimmy. Shaking his head he thought, 'I really need to talk to Harry and everyone. I want to give up the charade and be there for him in public. I really don't know why he asks us to keep hidden…' Finishing his train of thought he looked back to the memories and watched his friend's gloomy past.

"Even though, I'm the sacrifice."

"Harry Potter age 7"

Harry is having a blast with his family. They are at the park. He plays all day with them, the slide with his Uncle Paddy, the swings with his Uncle Moony, the merry-go-round with his daddy, and feeding the ducks with his mommy. He's the eye of his parents, his brother is nowhere in sight, it is his day! His parents even take him to get his favorite ice-cream flavor, treacle tart…Yuuuummmmm! He hopes this day never ends, maybe he is dreaming the neglect and this is the real world. "I hope this never ends…" Harry wishes smiling at his mommy. But the happy moment has to end at some point…the scene starts to shimmer and sway… "Noooooo…this is real…this is real…don't go away! Mommy! Daddy!" Harry yells running towards the happy family with his arms stretched and tears flowing freely down his face and then…

He wakes up. Gasping for breath, Harry shoots up from his bed, tears flowing down his cheeks as in the dream, realizing that it's just that…it's only a dream.

As more memories are revealed, the more people are starting to see him differently. But why now?! Only when his past was showing that they pity him?! Their pity won't show for long because only the people Harry wanted to see will remember, the rest would go back to ignoring him and…and…but did he really want that? To continue being ignored?

"Please, please, forgive me."

"Harry Potter age 8"

Harry is really excited today, in fact he is actually jumping up and down looking at the calendar in his room. Today the family is going see a Quidditch match, even though it isn't his Quidditch team, the Caerphilly Catapults, it is the Wimbourne Wasps. Oh well, even though it is his brother's team along with his father and Godfathers (his mom isn't an avid fan but will go for family fun), it will be fun because the whole family will go! So Harry starts to get dressed in the jersey supporting the Wasps to seem a fan but he will secretly support the opposing team just see the Wasps lose 'cause he didn't want the Wasps to go against the Catapults. He then races to get his backpack to stuff his omnioculars, some money and some candy into.

On the way out of his room he grabs his cloak to keep warm since it is going to rain later in the day. Grinning Harry climbs down the stairs and into the kitchen for breakfast, "Mom when are…we…leaving…?" Harry is confused, where's his mom cooking breakfast? It's only 10 and the game's at 12…Maybe they're still sleeping because they are so excited they went to bed late. So ready to wake up his parents and brother he sets out to their bedrooms…only to find them empty. "Well, maybe they're in the living room ready to leave and waiting for me…?" Harry sets out to the living room and finds it empty as well with the fireplace a little warm. "But it's only warm after it's used…they left without me?" Harry says to the empty room horrified.

"They left me…again…but I thought…" Saddened by the fact they forgot him again he left to his bedroom hanging his head, knowing by now that nothing will bring him the love of his family.

Watching these memories was a real tear-jerker, but that wasn't the problem. No, the problem would be who Harry lets keep their memories of the event. This would ruin their reputations, but maybe, just maybe, we could get him to come back to the family. How would we do it though, it would be hard but since this song was so sad, maybe he still wants love from us.

"Even though, I'm the sacrifice."

"Harry Potter age 10"

Used to being forgotten, Harry walks into the living room listening to the sounds of his family eating dinner and laughing in the dining room. The living room isn't as lavish as one would think, but quite simple in some deep blues and soft crème's with elegant furniture around a deep burgundy fireplace that has pictures upon the mantle. Looking up at the pictures Harry sees his family with no pictures of him, surprise surprise. The first picture has his mother and father with his older brother Jimmy in the yard having a picnic. The second picture has Jimmy playing quidditch with Sirius, Remus, and father. The third picture is of a family dinner with his parents, Godparents and brother laughing and smiling at each other. And the last picture is at a Wimbourne Wasps quidditch game and everyone decked out in Wasps jersey's and the team's colors of yellow and black.

Sighing, Harry quickly grabs a glass of juice and an apple and sets out to his bedroom for some light reading. Sitting down at his desk, Harry spots a picture of himself smiling with the only people he thinks of as family. The house-elves, the only other beings in this house that appreciate him, give him presents, and acknowledges that he lives in the house too. "Wow, I guess my blood relatives cannot be counted as my family but my family's servants can…who would've guessed?" He expresses out loud while gazing at the photo.

Snorting, 'Those Potter's are idiots! Anyone with half a brain cell…okay, well, anyone that's not a 'Chosen One' fan or light-oriented could see that Harry was way better than his twin and that neglecting a powerfully magical child was fucking (pardon my language) stupid!'

"And if I bleed, I'll bleed."

"Harry Potter age 11"

"Mom! Dad! I got into Hogwarts!" Yells a rambunctious light brown messy haired child.

"I knew you'd get in." Smiles his father to James Jr.

"Now that you are officially accepted into Hogwarts lets go to your favorite restaurant to celebrate! How about that?" Asks his mother.

"Yes! Can we invite Uncle Paddy and Uncle Moony? Please oh please oh please?!" Eagerly pleading to his mother, to which she replies, "Of course we can, I just have to fire-call and reserve a table for five."

"Yes! I'm going to owl my friends to tell them the news!"

Later that day after Harry replies to his acceptance letter, his family is leaving to eat out. Left to his own devices, Harry walks into the bathroom attached to his bedroom and takes out a razor from the top drawer. Staring into the mirror Harry slits his left wrist letting the blood flow into the sink for a while and cut another line into his wrist to let more blood flow. The tears will not come but the blood will do the job for them.

'Oh Harry,' sighed the blonde to his left, 'I'm glad I'm here for you now. You were way more elusive than the Crumple-Horned Snorkack when I first met you.' She sighed to herself. 'It took a while, but I managed to break your innermost shell, our friends only cracked it.'

"Even though, I'm the sacrifice."

"Harry Potter age 13"

As always Harry is alone. Since Harry spends all his time in his room he has acquired pale skin which makes his eyes glow an even more eerily bright green and darkens his hair so it will blend against the shadows. Spending time alone, Harry finds love in reading. He is even ahead in his studies by two years but only shows the minimum to get him the top spot each year, no more, no less. His favorite subject is ancient runes, he puts them on almost everything he owns, from security to changing colors of his ink in his quill. He is going to take them that year for one of his extra classes. While reading the book he looks out his window to the yard and sees his family. His mother is shouting and smiling at his older brother who did some special move on his broom with his father and Godfathers around him encouraging him on. They look like the perfect happy family, if one would look up from the ground they would reckon him a ghost and not real because no one lives in the house besides the mother, father, and their messy-haired child…right?

~.~

The song ended with the memories as well. Harry could feel every eye on him in the hall, especially Lily, James, Jimmy, Sirius, and Remus (obviously Harry didn't think of them as his parents or Godparents anymore). It was like they had never seen him before.

"Ah-hem. Well, now that all the fourth years have gone, why don't you all go to bed now. Hop to it," called the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, "But I would like Jimmy Potter and Harry Potter to stay behind."

'This won't be pleasant,' Harry thought as the rest of the hall cleared out and him walking to the front of the hall to his doom. Not literally, but it felt like it.

"I know you'll pull through this, as well as everyone else," Luna whispered before she left the room, "The wrackspurts are strangely absent in their heads right now."

The whole hall was cleared except for the teachers, the headmaster, Lily, James, Sirius, Remus and James Jr. They were still sitting in their spots and he stood in front of them stone-faced and James Jr. to the right of him by a few feet (obviously he didn't want to be in the confrontation for once and wanted to watch it play out).

"So, care to tell us what that was about young man?" Asked Lily.

"Not really no," replied Harry, "it was practically self-explanatory in the memories, or did you ignore them like you did me almost all my life?" They flinched. 'Good, they're guilty. But I wonder how long that'll last?' Harry thought meticulously watching their reactions while not giving his own.

"Harry," James tried, "I know we haven't been the best of parents…"

"I don't think I can call you parents since you didn't take care of me, the house-elves did," Harry cut in.

"Okay, we deserve that, but we can make it up to you and fix that song. No one should have a song like that at your age, and what was up with the cutting? You shouldn't do that!" He finished.

"First, you cannot fix what has already been done. The song will change in the coming months since I have 'a' friend and someone to call a father, that is not you by the way. And I don't even cut anymore since Luna helped me calm myself and kept me occupied with being my friend. Besides why do you care? You didn't notice before, none of you did! I shouldn't even dignify you with an answer!" Harry bit out as their faces grew a little enraged.

"We're your parents! We do care! ("coughLiarcough," Harry spit out.) We didn't notice before because you were never around…" James continued to try his case, (failing miserably I might add) and Harry but in again. "The only reason I was never around was because you forgot about me, time and time again, so I just gave up trying to get your attention and acknowledgement!"

"James calm down, we cannot solve this with yelling. Harry honey, (Harry raised an eyebrow in a Severus Snape manner.) we do love you truly, we just haven't been forthcoming with it (Harry snorted.) but we can now correct it and start anew. How about it Harry James Potter, to start again as a family?" Lily tried negotiating.

"Become a Potter again you say? Start again as a family you say?" Harry mimicked, Lily nodded with hope shining in her eyes, 'Well that will disappear real quick if I have anything to say about it.' "Sorry, well actually I'm not sorry since I won't be a Potter again, or part of your family again. I'm not a Potter anymore anyways," smirked Harry.

"WHAT?! You are a Potter young man!" Yelled James.

"Uh, no I'm not. You see, since your loving family seemed to think I wasn't a part of it, I decided I didn't want to be a Potter anymore," smiling wildly now Harry saw Lily losing that hope, "I had you James, sign a paper disowning me permanently from the family but not without giving me my inheritance. You see, I have a new name, but it won't come into effect until Christmas when I'm with my new family for the holidays."

"Wh-who's…wh-what's your new name?" Asked Lily hesitantly.

About to break his face from smiling Harry replied, "Weeeelllll…the Lovegoods!"

Silence. Sweet sweet silence.

"Well, if that is all, I'll be on my way, curfew is in 30 minutes and I don't want a detention on my perfectly squeaky clean record. Adieu." Harry swept in a bow while pretending to tip an imaginary top hat and left the Great Hall of stunned teachers and ex-family members.

~.~

Harry told Luna and every one of his friends what happened during the meeting and only Luna had something to say, "You forgot to mention that you were married into the family not adopted right?"

"Maybe..." Harry grinned to his wife as they shared a laugh with everyone smiling at the pair, 'Thank Merlin that her dad, well my dad now, let me marry her.' (Although they are married they WILL NOT consummate until they have a wedding, when Luna graduates Hogwarts. They are just married to keep Harry away from his ex-family.)

~.~

So that's everyone, well everyone that wanted to be mentioned at this moment. James Jr., or Jimmy, with his self-inflated head kept his memories and soul song for everyone to remember, as well as Draco Malfoy (you know, for enemies they were like two sides of the same coin). Miss Knowledgeable, Hermione Granger herself, thought her song was wrong and proceeded to tell everyone of that fact not realizing she was cementing the fact. Ron Weasley only let his close friends remember what his song was and no one else, meaning we could exclude Jimmy's friends and Jimmy. Lastly, we have Harry, he decided to let only the professors, his family or ex-family, and friends remember. His ex-family needed to be taught a lesson and the professors knowing were to show that his ex-family was not as good as they thought.

~.~

AN: Aaaaannnndddd that's a wrap! Phew, had to write one of these and it was pretty good if I do say so myself. I wrote this fic at 3am in about 30 minutes. This is kind of a guilty pleasure fic, and come on, you know you want to write one of these. ;)

Please review, I would LOVE to know what you think!

Carmen Animus – Song of the Soul (Made it up myself)

I know "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" by Good Charlotte & "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne came out in 2002, and "Missing" by Evanescence came out in 2004, but in this fic they came out prior to 1994 just to fit in with the storyline.