"I thought you said it was 'imperative' that I attend the royal court," Celestia said with a hint of mockery in her voice, chasing her tail.

"Yes, well," I sniffed with my nose in the air. "You are the princess. There is no higher authority to challenge your will."

And just like that, she froze. There was a wicked glint in her eye, as if it dawned upon her that she was the ruler of Equestria. She laughed, her normally soft and gentle voice becoming more and more sinister as she began to cackle maniacally, throwing her hooves into the air as the weather outside began to turn dark with swirling ominous black clouds and rumbling thunder and lightning-

"What are you doing?"

"Sorry, just practicing my evil laugh."

"Stop that."

"WaHAHA!" 'Tia looked to me for approval. "How's that?"

"It reminds me of that fashionista in Ponyville."

"Nailed it! Yes!"

The weather was set back to its normal clear blue skies and we were off. Celestia could barely contain herself as she jumped off the stairs and landed at the bottom with a great boom, sending tremors through the palace. The stoic guards held on for dear life as the entire city of Canterlot shook. The quaking began to stop and Celestia opened her mouth.

"Can we do that aga-"

I shoved a hoof into her mouth and pushed her towards the entrance.

The second Celestia emerged from the castle, I saw her eyes bulge and widen with foalish excitement. Why, I did not know. She turned and pointed at the the ivory towers with golden spires that towered over Canterlot. She craned her head and watched the shimmering sparkling water cascading from the mountaintops.

"Wow...Canterlot is beautiful!" she gushed.

"Sister, you see Canterlot every day. You have lived here for centuries. What is so special about today?" I sighed.

'Tia was already off. I had no idea what was wrong with her. I chased after her as she took on all the sights and sounds and smells of the city. Her very presence was causing a scene as rich ponies and nobles looked on as she made a complete fool of herself. I turned away for one second, and she was - ugh! Now she was in a mattress store, of all places!

"Woona, bounce with me!"

I gaped. Did she just call me "Woona?" It was the most ridiculous nickname I had ever heard. She always called me "Luna" or "Lulu" in the private.

"Get down from there!" I hissed.

Now there was an even bigger scene to be made. 'Tia was jumping on the mattresses, like a foal!

"Wheee!"

I ran up to her and watched her bounce up and down, fuming.

"Have you no sense of decorum?"

"It's fun, Woona! You should try it!"

"You are a princess, and stop calling me that!"

Her eyes flashed with mischief. She stopped bouncing and leaned in close and drawled out, "Woona."

And in that moment, something inside me snapped. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or maybe because 'Tia was being a royal pain in my flank. I don't know.

I stomped a hoof, a bolt of lightning striking the ground outside the mattress store. "That's it!"

Celestia bounced off a mattress and landed on another one in the store. I felt bad for the pony who owned it. Still, it wasn't very large and only had a few mattresses on display. I made a grab for Celestia, but she bounced off onto another one. If I was going to catch her, I was going to have to play by her rules. I could see a multitude of ponies watching us from outside, their muzzles pressed up against the glass window. I flapped my wings and landed on a mattress, unfamiliar with the shaky terrain.

"Woona! Woona! Woona!" 'Tia chanted.

I bounced off and landed on the mattress, lunging at her with fury in my eyes, only to miss and hit the mattress. I lay on my belly, watching her bounce across to another mattre-

"Mmgh!"

Did she just throw a pillow at me?

"Oh, it is on!" I bellowed.

Celestia's only response was to throw another pillow and bounce away. I mustered up as much magical energy I could and teleported, right in front of her, stopping her in her tracks. She gasped and tried to scramble away. I clamped down on her tail and yanked her back, towering over her with a multitude of pillows.

"Are you going to call me Woona again?"

"Woona!" she blurted, before realizing her mistake.

"You hath sealed your fate!"

"Eeep!"

I was relentless. I whacked her again and again with my pillows. She squirmed beneath me, laughing and giggling and trying to shield herself from the fluffy assault.

"Say you're sorry!"

"Nope!"

I growled and whacked her again. Joyful tears were running down her face as she struggled to breathe.

"You have bested me in battle, dear sister!" she rasped dramatically, raising a hoof and going limp.

I stared at her, watching her play dead. I folded my legs and poked her. "Stop it." I giggled. "Stop it!"

"That was fun, right?"

I knew what fun was. It was a foreign concept. Twilight Sparkle had to teach me that last Nightmare Night. I sighed, "Yes, it was fun. But now what you've done. This will be all over the front pages by tomorrow!"

"But it was fun!" She sucked in. "F is for Friends who do stuff together, U is for you and m-"

I jammed a hoof in her mouth again. "Don't sing."

She nodded, her ears drooping slightly. I sighed and looked all around the mattress store. This was a mess, she was a mess, I was a mess. This was all one big mess. Our public image was ruined.

"I'm very sorry about the mess," I told the owner as I used a spell to fix our mess.

"That's alright! You've gotten me a whole bunch of customers!" he chirped happily.

And he was right. Apparently our appearance inside the store, regardless of our conduct, was enough to have ponies flock to it.

"'Tia, we should g-"

I looked down. She was gone.

As I bolted off, I heard him say, "I really like your mane!"

"Oh no no no no," I muttered. "Where could she have gone, where where oh where?"

It would be uncouth to suddenly scream for no apparent reason. But this was a national emergency.

"CELESTIA!" I roared, using my Royal Canterlot Voice.

"Over he-ere!"

I twisted my head, seeing her standing a block away. In a flash I was by her side, yanking her ear.

"Ow, ow!"

"What is the matter with you? We cause chaos in a mattress store, of all places, and then you run off!"

I saw her flick her eyes shiftily for a second, thinking of an answer. She finally said, "It's been so long since I've walked these streets, sister."

Her soft words placated me, if only a little.

"If we are to keep sightseeing, you must contain yourself."

"Okie dokie lokie!"

My jaw dropped. I pointed a hoof at her.

"You're a changeling."

"What?"

"You're a changeling! Don't think I can't see through your disguise! My sister, my 'Tia, would never, ever say those words!"

She began to sweat nervously. "Luna, that's very funny. Now stop it..."

I charged up a spell and blasted her with it. Ponies gasped in horror.

The changeling giggled. "That tickles!"

I furrowed my brow and shot her again. And again, and again. And she remained the same.

"Perhaps you are not a changeling."

"Well duh!"

It was scary to hear her talk like that.

"Who are you and what have you done with 'Tia?" I whispered harshly, leading her down a street.

"Well, uh, uhm, I am Princess Celestia!"

I faced her, studying her close, burning my jade eyes into hers. She stared back before I saw her begin to sweat. She avoided making direct eye contact, instead looking elsewhere. I leaned in closer, our muzzles touching, trying to make her break. I was just about to get an answer before she did something completely unexpected.

'Tia kissed me. She puckered her lips and smashed them against mine. I could taste the banana she had for breakfast. There was a flash of a camera.

My eyes bulged as I backed away, screaming and spitting, wiping my lips. There was tongue!

"Sister!" My mind went blank. I had no words. I screamed again. "WHAT?"

The photographer was long gone. We were doomed.

She blushed. "I've always wanted to do that."

"You've always wanted to KISS ME?" I screeched.

She sighed, kicking a hoof. "Just my luck. I'm your sister and a girl."

This was wrong!

"WHAT?"

"Welp, come on. We don't have all day!"

'Tia bounced off again, singing to herself.

I sat there, dumbfounded.

"WHAT?"

I was still sputtering as we cantered to the plaza.

"You - I - right on the lips, and - photo - tongue!"

"Oh, relax. Was that your first?"

"No, it was not!" I shouted indignantly.

"Hush, Woona, you're making a scene."

"I'M MAKING A SCENE? I'M MAKING A SCENE?" I screeched.

I was making a scene. And I was about to literally strangle her, right on the street.

"I'LL SHOW YOU MAKING A SCENE!"

"Hey Fancypants!"

I squeaked and composed myself. And there he was, Fancypants, always impeccably dressed, with Fleur de Lis. They both gave her bows, to which 'Tia simply scratched her head.

"Why, hello there, Princess!" Fancypants said. "It seems you've been having an interesting day."

"You said it!" 'Tia chirped.

The look on Fancypants' face revealed his surprise.

"Aw, hey Fleur Derp - I mean de Lis!" Celestia covered her mouth with a blush. "How goes your day?"

The supermodel pony cleared her throat and smoothed her pink mane and said with a clear and distinguished accent, "It is going magnificently, Your Highness."

"Sweet, sweet."

The look on her face read it all. She was just as surprised as her husband.

"Yo Fleur, I gotta say you've got a great accent."

Fleur, the poor thing, she was still sputtering. "W-Why, thank you?"

"You gotta teach me sometime, girl!"

"I suppose?" She looked to Fancypants, who simply shrugged. "But I must say, I simply adore your new manestyles!"

Before I could get a word in, Celestia said, "By tomorrow I think everypony who is anypony will be wearing ponytails! You can expect the nobles to jump right onto this new fashion!"

"Oh I agree."

"Indubitably!" she said in a posh accent.

We all stared at her this time.

"What? Just practicing. Fancypants!"

"Yes, Princess Celestia?"

"I say!"

"What?"

"Guv'nah!"

"I'm sorry?"

"Pip pip, cheerio, and all that!"

I was as red as a tomato. Fleur and Fancypants' expressions were unreadable. And yet, in all of a sudden, Fancypants took of his monocle.

"I say!" he replied with a grin.

Celestia was grinning. "Toodle pip!"

"Quite, quite!"

Fleur suddenly burst out, "Jolly good!" She chortled to herself.

"Tally ho!" Celestia cried.

"Flibbertigibbet!" Fancypants shot back.

"Ooh, that's a good one!"

"I try."

It was some ridiculous exchange. Bystanders watched as they began coming up with more and more silly phrases, mocking the nobles.

"Bob's your uncle!"

"Crikey!"

"Blimey!"

I cried out, "Malarkey!"

Everypony stared and burst into laughter. It seemed that Celestia had put on an impromptu standup comedy show. Everypony was gathering around the fountain in the plaza, listening to her tell jokes, of all things!

"There are some things you never discuss with a mare," 'Tia said lowly, walking around, captivating her audience.

Already some of the gentlecolts were murmuring.

"Her weight!"

They roared with laughter.

Her voice became nasally. "'Honey, does this make me look fat?' For the love of all that is holy, do not reply!"

More laughter.

"Just run! Run! Your safest bet is to hide in the Everfree Forrest!" Celestia snorted. "And then we have the most important thing of all, that you never, ever talk about..."

Silence now.

"Oh, Mr. Fancypants!"

Fancypants, who had been standing by Celestia's side the entire time, snapped to attention. "Yes, Princess!"

"How old do you think I am?"

The gentlecolt was stumped. He pondered the question for a bit. "Perhaps two centuries?"

There were horrified gasps.

"Care to try again?"

The atmosphere suddenly became very cold. Everypony remained silent, some running out of fear. Her voice was low and ominous as she leaned in, eyeing the stallion dangerously. Fancypants began to sweat.

"Why, you look no less than thirty years!" he stammered with a grin.

No one dared breathe.

She grinned. "And that's how you lie to a girl!"