(note that this story will be written without breaking the 4th wall, unless i'm talking in these brackets.)

So, Hermione Granger read fanfiction. She wasn't very amused. She, in all of her infinite wisdom of canon, decided to email me with her idea's of how we were all screwed up wankers. It went something like this...

Dear Wryder,

(insert lots of no-no words here)

Shape up.

Hermione Granger

Now, I know what you're all thinking, and no, I will not be giving out the email addresses of those in canon. I gained them through hard work *koffkoff graduation blackmail koffkoff*, and you should too.

But I did ask her what she thought was wrong with the site, and how she thought it should be fixed. I got an earful. After sorting through the 40,000 word letter, I decided to pick it apart piece by piece and post for your pleasure. Here's the first installment of Letters from Granger, of which I call "Fire."

The first thing I have a problem with is people's reaction to a flame. Really? The world isn't sunshine and flowers. Man up. My advice to avoid the flames, however is this:

If you get flames, the first thing you should do is make sure you are using spellcheck. You are inviting them in if your spelling sucks. Second, make sure you spell characters names right and get their backgrounds correct, unless your story gives them a new background. Get someone who is better then you with grammar to do a quick review, also, because grammar is what really puts people off.

Don't say "No flames, please." That puts up a huge sign that says FLAME ME PLEASE. If you can't handle the flames, edit your story before posting. If you really want the flames to stop or at least become constructive criticism, point out a specific reviewer in your author note like so:

(Flamer UserName): Thanks for the advice. Is there any more specific ideas you can give me that can make my story beter? I would really appreciate the help so more people will read my story.

Or, if you don't like the review:

(Flamer UserName): I decided to (thing they insulted), because it works better for my plot. And yes, I (thing they insulted) but this is FanFiction. This just happens to be my interpretation for my story. If it really bugs you that much, then I can point you toward much more (book, movie, or story this is a fanFiction of) centered stories, like (example) by (example).

Responding with a paragraph by asking for flames to stop or insulting flamers won't stop the reviews, no matter how polite or impolitely worded your response is. If the reviewer really wants to help, doing what I suggested would get you some good ideas. If they don't want to help, calling them out in a polite way like my second example will either make them stop reviewing out of embarrassment of how nice you responded, leave the story with a kindly worded review, or they will continue reviewing with childish remarks. Nothing you do will stop them, and hey, every review they make just adds to your total reviews, which some readers look at as a marker of the quality of the story. I know I do.

Don't take anything they say personally. They don't know you, they only know your writing. And sometimes you really do need to improve your writing.

I agree with most of that, but I would just say ignore it. Yet again, I'm not Hermione, so maybe you should listen to her.

~Wryder

(any ideas for the next post? all are welcome.)