The Secret Life of Epsilon Brown

When Harry defeated Voldemort as a baby, the resulting magic was enough to blast him halfway across the world. Believed dead by the wizarding community, Harry is found and raised by the men in the black suits, with no idea who he really is…

This fic is a concept for now, but I have high hopes. I know that this should, strictly speaking, go into the crossover section, but the readership base for men in black fics is tiny, and there would be no guarantee of it being read, so I put it into Harry Potter instead.

I have also made a few changes in regards to dates, to make the two story lines coincide. I have therefore shifted the events of Harry Potter back a decade or so.

For those who haven't seen Men in Black… you should. It's seriously good. Basically there is a secret organisation that polices alien activity on earth… you get the idea.

Please let me know what you think.

Chapter 1: 31st October, 1991

K wiped splattered Krylian guts out of his eyes with a grimace.

"Nice shot," remarked D, smirking slightly at the gloop dripping from his partner. "Just a shame the Kryls explode when you hit them in that particular spot… I thought that was in the handbook?"

K nodded. "Slipped my mind," he admitted sheepishly. D sighed, and drew out his communicator.

"Zed, we need a clean-up crew," he said briskly, then shut the silver device with a snap. "Alright, kid, let's head back. I think we're done for the day."

K scowled at the 'kid'. It didn't matter that he was now one of the most respected agents, in D's eyes he would always be a rookie. He cleaned his face the best he could with his handkerchief, and climbed into the passenger side of the LTD.

"Urgh, why do entrails always taste disgusting?"

D shrugged as the car started moving. "Beats me. I remember, back when this gig first started, there was this Jaconian that got himself blown up…"

"Yes, I know, D. I was there."

"Oh yes, so you were. Apologies K, it's sometimes too easy to forget."

"No problem, D. You know…"

The car swerved as a sudden crack of thunder appeared to rattle the sky, and lightning leapt down to the ground.

"What the hell?" yelled K. D brought the car to a complete stop, and they leapt out, sprinting towards the source of the disturbance.

Down a back road, a full storm was brewing, and civilians were running in every direction. K fought through the howling winds to see where the lightning was striking. As he struggled to stay upright, he fished out his noisy cricket.

All of a sudden there was a blinding flash, and K found himself being thrown backwards. As quickly as it started, the storm vanished, to be replaced with a strange wailing noise.

He sat bolt upright, ignoring his pounding head, and pointed his gun at… a baby.

"No way," he said quietly as the baby bawled its lungs out. He approached it carefully, and scanned it. It was an ordinary, human, baby boy. The child looked up at K through brilliant green eyes, and reached out. K got the message and scooped him up. The boy whimpered, and buried his face in his K's neck.

"Hey there, little man," murmured K gently. "Where did you come from?"

D skidded around the corner, panting.

"What happened, what've you… a boy?"

"Just sitting here on the street, boss. Crying his eyes out. He's human, I already checked."

The boy whimpered again, and clung tighter to K. D looked concerned.

"Let's take him into headquarters; we should get him checked out in medical."

K nodded and they started back towards the car. To nobody's surprise, K had to carry the child, whilst D drove.

"He's got a nasty gash on his forehead," commented K, pushing aside the boy's black hair. By the time they pulled into the underground car park, the kid was fast asleep.

"You go report to Zed," whispered K. "I'll take him down to medical."

D nodded with raised eyebrows. Usually K was badgering to be allowed to give the reports himself. K winced at the loud noise of the lift, but the child did not wake. Everyone turned to stare at Agent K carrying a sleeping baby, but he did his best to ignore them.

"Afternoon, C," he said as he strode into the medical centre.

"Agent K! Don't see you here often!"

C smiled at K, then spotted the boy in his arms, and her jaw dropped.

"And, who's this little fellow?"

"Dunno," shrugged K. "He just appeared."

C nodded, taking the boy from K, and placing him gently on a bed.

"No obvious injuries, just this cut on the head, but I'll scan him and see what comes up. Was he involved in that freak storm up top?"

K nodded, and the child on the bed stirred.

"Dada?" he mewled sleepily. K reached out, and put a hand on his tiny shoulder. The boy looked up at him, wide-eyed.

"Dada?" he said again, more insistently. It was obviously the only word he could say.

K shook his head, and attempted to withdraw his hand, but the boy wailed and clutched it tightly.

"Hey," he said, wincing at the child's tight grip. "It's okay. What's your name?"

The child whimpered and K sighed. Great, the child-with-no-name.

At that moment, Zed came hurrying in, closely followed by D. They stared at the boy.

"How is he, C?"

"He's… physically okay sir, but that cut on his forehead… it's practically buzzing with some kind of power."

"Power?" asked K in alarm. "Is it dangerous?"

"Possibly. I've never seen anything like it, but I can tell that it's not good. We need to find some way to drain it, I wonder…"

She began to rattle off medical talk. K did his best to keep up, but he was distracted when the child decided to crawl into his lap.

"K?" said C. "We need to examine his injury now."

K nodded and handed the child over, who squirmed back around to face K.

"Dada!" he cried again, pointing at K. Zed chuckled as K shook his head, blushing.

"No," he told the child firmly. "I'm agent K." He looked up at C, who was beginning to attach wires to the child's head. "Should he be sedated for this?"

"Maybe," said C. "But I'm not used to sedating children, and this shouldn't be too bad, so I'd rather do it without."

The child was looking seriously scared now, so K reached out to take his tiny hand.

"Is the energy compatible?"

"Not really, but that doesn't really matter, we don't need to store it, just get rid of it."

She flicked a switch, and K leapt backwards away from the child with a yelp as sparks burnt his fingertips. The boy wailed, tears springing to his eyes as the machine buzzed. Blood dribbled out of the cut on his forehead. After a few moments, the machine bleeped. The boy whined once more, and laid back on the bed, his eyes closed. K leaned forwards anxiously.

"He's okay," said C. "Just sleeping."

"So, what happens now?" asked D.

"I don't feel comfortable with neuralyzing such a young child."

"I agree," said C. "I want to keep him in for a few hours, see if I can do anything about that that cut. I'm worried about scarring, but we might be able to reduce that…"

"Alright," said Zed. "Besides, I don't think we should hand him over to the authorities just yet. We'll notify them that we've found him, obviously, but for now he'll stay with us. K, you will look after him."

"Me? Why me?"

"The kid likes you. If no-one claims him within a month… we'll have to figure out a more permanent arrangement."

"He can't stay here!" said D. "This is no place for a kid!"

"I'll keep him safe," said K. "There are always agents at headquarters, I'm sure everyone will keep their eyes open."

"He'll need a name."

"What letter are we up to?"

"We're in the Greek alphabet now," said Zed. "I think Epsilon is available."

"That will do," said K. "Put him into the system as Epsilon Brown."

XXX

K shifted Epsilon onto his other arm so he could take out the key to his apartment. The kid was still asleep, but C had let him go, saying that he would be fine. He set Epsilon carefully on the sofa, positioning a few cushions to stop him from rolling off.

He took off his jacket and tie, vaguely wondering if he had any food in the flat that was toddler appropriate. Probably not. He was about to go and look when there was a soft knock on the door. He opened it to find a woman waiting outside.

"O?"

"Hello, K. Um… can I…"

"You here to see the kid?"

"Sort of," she admitted. "I heard you found a little mouth to feed, so I thought I'd bring you some supplies."

She held up a clear plastic bag of nappies, clothes, and some tins of baby food. K sighed in relief.

"My dear, you are a lifesaver."

He let her in, and she dropped the bag on his bed, approaching the sofa quietly.

"Is this the boy?"

"Yes. For now, his name is Epsilon Brown."

"You gave him your surname?"

K nodded. "A kid needs a surname. When he's older, he can decide whether or not to throw him off."

"He's very sweet," she said.

"Wait until he wakes up," he told her. "Junior's got the loudest voice I ever heard."

O laughed, and kissed K gently on the cheek. He squirmed a little, and she smiled.

"Look at you, blushing like a school-boy," she said, drawing closer. "It's almost cute…"