A/N: I got one of my best friends (Eli) to Beta this over the phone to me. Needless to say we were both sobbing by the end of it, and I was the one who wrote it! I hope everyone enjoys it. I admit, they are both out of character, but you know what? That's the whole point. These are the things they CAN'T say out loud, where they don't sound like themselves because the emotion has built up so much they can't contain it.
So really it isn't out of character; it's the things they wanted to say but couldn't.

The Unspoken Words

John Watson was not the same person he believed himself to be. Everyone else could see it, but he himself was never consciously aware of his change with society. He lived two separate lives, one with Sherlock Holmes and the other with everyone else when Sherlock was not around. Even with Mike Stamford, the man who brought the two together in their own twisted relationship, could see that he was different.

When they went for drinks, John would never laugh, he never made jokes, and he hardly smiled, only doing so if a cute waitress waggled her hips the right way in his direction. John of course, grew defensive at the accusations and became belligerent on more than one occasion when Greg or Mike or even Mrs. Hudson called him on his change. He swore on his sister's life that he was always the same person no matter whom he was with.

Everyone else was grateful for Harry's sake that those curses never existed.

When he was with Sherlock, there was never any question of happiness or excitement, as John wore his expression openly, smiling so often and giving hearty chuckles at the simple things that would only elicit a quiet hum out of most people. He was confident and he paraded Sherlock's talent around for the world to see, it was like a child who's father was an astronaut, constantly telling others how 'brilliant' or 'amazing' he is.

However, he didn't express all of his emotions, of course they fought, they fought more often than anyone who saw them in public would ever venture to guess. But John never expressed it, he never even wrote it on his blog, or even his more personal diary.
He laid out his thoughts and emotions in the one place Sherlock never bothered to look; the one and only private spot he could find, excluding his own mind since he knew Sherlock could read that too.

The one place not even Sherlock thought to look; the 'unsent drafts' folder in his mobile.

Normally one would not think to look at that folder, most people would immediately check the sent/received ones since most information came from the words spoken out loud. What they didn't know, however, was that sometimes the most important things came from the words one did not have the courage to say.

Mrs. Hudson considered herself to be a good provider and pseudo house maid for her two favourite renters. She loved them both dearly, as if they were her own children, often cooing to them about proper eating habits and sleeping hours, and fussing over untucked shirts and dusty trousers, as every good mother does.
She was old, and she knew it, which limited her abilities to an extent of which she could help them, but God bless her, she tried her hardest to keep their domestic life at least a normal, comfortable one.

The one thing the police hadn't gotten a hold of was John's mobile phone. No one knew where it went, but that's because after the flourish of confusion that went along with calling up Scotland Yard, it was the one item that Mrs. Hudson had managed to obtain and keep to herself, she wanted to see, finally, to settle an old score with herself, what really happened behind her back.

She wished, in hindsight, that she hadn't decided to be so intrusive.

Sherlock, you don't understand, we live too dangerous a life for me to love you. I don't know how I could live with myself if anything ever happened to you.
JW

Moriarty will only target you more if he knew you had an emotional attachment.
JW

Trust me, it's safer this way.
JW

I will never tell you this, but I only imagine you when I kiss them.
JW

Don't give me that look, I can't stand it, don't make me look at you, Sherlock.
JW

I'm not trying to hurt you, I just want you to understand.
JW

I'm trying to help you, you just don't get it.
JW

You have no idea how much I want to be with you, but we're risking it as it is.
JW

What you don't know is that I was thinking of you.
JW

I would love your assistance, Sherlock, get over here.
JW

There are so many things I want to tell you.
JW

Why don't you just listen to me?
JW

You are a great big bag of dicks, you can decipher everyone else EXCEPT me.
JW

Figure it out for yourself, tell me what I want.
JW

Do I have to say everything? I want you.
JW

I need you.
JW

Where are you, Sherlock? You're not the person I knew.
JW

Jesus Christ, Sherlock!
JW

SHERLOCK!
JW

SHERLOCK FUCKING HOLMES
JW

You fucking prick, you knew I was watching, why the fuck would you jump?
JW

I hate you, I can't even go back to our flat.
JW

It's been nearly a month. I have over 50 unread messages. I scanned them though. None were from you.
JW

Come on, Houdini, I know this wasn't your curtain call.
JW

Sherlock, I know you have to be there somewhere.
JW

I wish I could see you there, I wish you were sitting here.
JW

I would tell you everything I couldn't tell you before.
JW

There's so much I wish you knew.
JW

Sherlock, I haven't lived a single day since you left you, you heartless coward.
JW

I lost my job, no one will even look me in the face any more, not even Mrs. Hudson.
JW

It's all your fault.
JW

It's all right, I'm coming to get you.
JW

I'm almost there Sherlock, I'm coming home.
JW

Are you waiting for me?
JW

I love you, Sherlock.
JW

I'm coming home.
JW

Mrs. Hudson, for the very first time in many years, swore out loud at the sheer horror of both of her pseudo children killing themselves just so they could be together. Through her tears and gritted teeth, the word was harsh and cruel, and was the only word in the English language that she felt could fit the situation.

"You bastards...you selfish, stupid bastards..." She cried, looking at the words John had written but was too scared to say to his other. She knew from the moment she saw them together that they had a connection, but after being rejected time and time again of her accusations, noting how it was only John that rejected them, she wondered on many occasion if John was hiding something.

And here was her final proof.