A/N: Originally planned as a one-shot, this was my first ever fanfic idea for BTR , a couple of years ago, but I never followed through with it. However, a friend just mentioned that an episode about camping was in the works, so I decided to post it now before it comes out. That way everyone will know that all the foolishness and nonsense inside is purely mine! If such nonsense ever actually airs, it is purely coincidental!

This will be a short story, with 5-6 parts instead of chapters, so I will up-date pretty quickly. The content is tame and well...rather ridiculous. (:

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of its characters.

Part I: Are We There Yet?

"Gustavo! We would like to get out of here sometime today, if that's all right with you!" Kendall exclaimed. "We have plans!"

"Plans?" Gustavo echoed. "I don't like it when you guys have plans! You guys plus plans, equals trouble!"

Kelly scrutinized the boys closely. "Anything... dangerous?"

"Naw! We're just going camping!" Carlos clarified.

"Camping?" Gustavo and Kelly asked in unison.

"Yep. Camping," James repeated firmly, "and you can't stop us!"

"Yeah, somehow I don't see you as the camping type, James," Gustavo pointed out.

"WHAT? I love camping!" James insisted.

"James, how many times have you actually been camping?" Kelly asked.

"Pffft! Lots of times! With these guys!" They did not look convinced. The others did not elaborate. "There was that one time...we used to camp out all the time in Kendall's back yard-"

"That is not camping! This is not to be taken lightly! It could be really dangerous!" Kelly insisted.

"Carlos and I have major camping experience. We stayed at Camp Wonkey-Donkey for years," James bragged.

"That's not real camping either!" Kelly said.

"Oh, come on!" Kendall scoffed. "Its just camping! People camp all the time! Besides...my mom is fine with it...so we're going."

Gustavo sighed in exasperation. "Fine. Go on! Get outta Here!" He dismissed them with a wave of his hand. As soon as the door closed behind the cheering boys, Gustavo grimaced. "I don't have a good feeling about this. If they don't find trouble, trouble finds them."

Kelly's eye began to twitch, and she nodded in agreement. "We need to follow them then?"

"Yup."

x-x

"Oh boys, before you leave I have a little something for each of you," Mrs. Knight said.

Katie rolled her eyes as her mother handed each boy a small gift bag. "What Katie? It's their first unsupervised camping trip, so it's special," she said emotionally. It was the boys' turn to roll their eyes.

Kendall crammed the last of the rolled-up sleeping bags into the trunk, before digging into his gift bag. "Ahhh! A compass! Gee...thanks Mom," he said with a dimpled grin. She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I have binoculars! Whoo-Hoo!" Carlos shouted, unable to contain his excitement.

"What do you have, Logan?" Kendall asked.

"A first aid kit. Niiiice! Thanks Mama Knight," he said with sincerity.

James bear-hugged Mrs. Knight, with a radiant smile plastered upon hishandsome face. "James looks happy," Logan said.

"I am. I got a gadget set with everything I could ever need on one simple ring! I've wanted one of these since I was little, but my mother said it was too dangerous!"

"Cool! Let me see!" Carlos cried, suddenly quite interested in James' gift.

"All of you can share!" Mrs. Knight warned before a brawl ensued. The three boys nodded knowingly at one another when they saw that James had a small round mirror on the ring.

They climbed into the jeep and patiently accepted the hugs and kisses from the pair, one of whom had remained unusually silent. They tolerated the warnings and orders, and graciously took the list of emergency phone numbers that were thrust toward them.

"Okay! Okay, Mom! I believe that's everything! Every. Possible. Thing."

"Just be careful!" she called. "I packed some pajamas in your bags!" she yelled, as they begin to back away.

"Great," muttered Kendall. "And it's only ninety degrees." The others groaned too.

"What was that, sweetie?"

"I said that's great, Mom!"

Finally, Katie found her voice. "Don't get eaten by bears!" she called.

"Right L'il Sis!" Kendall called back.

Mrs. Knight waited patiently until the truck had pulled completely out of sight, before turning to her daughter with a familiar look upon her face. "Katie, get the bug spray," she said.

"We're going to follow them, aren't we?" Katie asked.

"Yep."

x-x

"Rebecca!" Hawk called, "Find out what Gustavo's dogs are up to! I know everything they have planned for the next six months, and I don't recall anything that would require fishing rods and sleeping bags!"

"On it!" she quipped in her signature British accent. "Are we planning on following them by any chance?"

"We are! And maybe we can keep them from returning once and for all," he said mysteriously. "Caw!"

x-x

The boys drove nearer to their destination. Carlos bounced impatiently in his seat. "Are we there yet?" he asked, for what Kendall was sure was the umpteenth time.

"Really, Carlos? People actually ask that on road trips?" Logan scolded.

"Why not?" Carlos said excitedly. "I can't wait to try out my new binoculars!"

"Well, would you mind?" James asked indignantly.

"Mind what?" Carlos asked innocently.

"Not putting them in my face!"

"Everyone just settle down!" Kendall demanded. "I'm a little confused about this route." He tilted his head to the side, trying to make sense of the map. "Which way?" he asked, studying the fork in the road.

"Left!" Carlos and James shouted.

"Right!" Logan said with certainty, but was drowned out by the collective voices of the others.

Kendall tapped the brakes while Logan was sipping from his canteen. "Uhhh!" he cried, when he was suddenly doused with water.

Kendall veered left with the three of them now slapping at one another.

"You hit me in the eye!" James accused Logan.

"I didn't mean to! I got myself all wet and it startled me!"

"You peed yourself already!" Carlos exclaimed.

"NO! I didn't pee! I spill-"

"Stop putting those binoculars in my face!" James interrupted.

Kendall sighed. "We should be near the campground now...in case anyone cares."

"Turn right!" Logan said, peering closely at the map. "I really think that we should have invested in a GPS," he reminded him again.

"Well, we didn't! And now we will be able to tell our grand-kids that we actually drove someplace the old-fashioned way, where we will live off of the land...the old-fashioned way, for three whole days!" Kendall beamed.

They all smiled. "You do know that you said 'old-fashioned way' twice, don't you?"

"I do."

They slowly rolled along the bumpy dirt road, ending up on a narrow path winding through some dense trees. "Shouldn't there have been a campground sign by now?" asked James.

Kendall shrugged. "Maybe it's too rustic out here to put up an actual sign. This is going to be real camping!"

"Oh, look! There's a sign over there but I can't make out what it says," Carlos said, peeking through his binoculars.

"Where?" they all asked.

"Thatta' way." Carlos pointed.

Not bothering to drive over to the sign which clearly said; 'DANGER: ENTER THIS AREA AT YOUR OWN RISK', Kendall drove on and pulled into an inlet. "We don't want to be too close to the entrance," he rationalized. No one protested so he kept going.

He stopped the engine and grinned, smug with satisfaction. "We're here!" He stretched his long legs.

They unloaded the tent, bags and coolers and trudged along, hoping to find an ideal place to set up. The sticky humidity hit them right away, and the added weight of the gear had them sweating bullets.

Carlos' small form was overloaded with items. He spun out of control at the top of a hill and toppled to the ground, rolling for what seemed like an eternity, before finally landing at the bottom.

"Carlos! Are you okay!" Logan shouted from the top of the hill.

"M'okay," Carlos whimpered. James hopped down and pulled him to his feet. He shared the burden of the load while they struggled back to the top.

"Well, that's not a good start," Logan grumbled.

"Don't be so pessimistic!" Kendall warned.

"Hmmm...that's good, I guess," James said, scanning the area. "No annoying neighbors yet. Luckily for us it will seem so much more secluded, even in a busy campground."

"Yeah! Like we're in the arctic tundra!" Carlos squealed. Logan rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah just like that," he said, flicking Carlos on the back of the neck, "except we're in the woods and not on barren land, it's about a hundred degrees and not twenty below, and were in the middle of trees, not ice and snow! Oh, and did I mention it's a hundred degrees?!"

"Boys! Boys! Boys!" Kendall reprimanded them. "Just enjoy this beautiful view!" He had stopped to look at some cave-like structures. Carlos stuck out his tongue at Logan anyway. Kendall clicked his own tongue back at them.

"Whatever," Logan groaned, then stuck his tongue out in retaliation when Kendall turned around.

Kendall's eyebrows rose dramatically and disappeared beneath his blonde bangs. "Hey, I think I see the perfect spot!" he announced. He pointed to a patch of land with a thin cluster of trees surrounding it. The clearing would make it less likely to spark a fire and it looked relatively level. It would be a good place to stake a tent.

"That does look like a good spot," James agreed. Logan was still spinning around in circles, eyeing the area warily. He wasn't exactly sure what it was he was looking for, but he figured he'd know when he found it. The others held their breath, waiting for a sign of approval. When the nod finally came, they exhaled in relief.

"Great!" Kendall said, "then let's get the show on the road!"

The boys busied themselves with the nylon structure. Finally, with the tent in place, they sat down on some stumps and admired their handiwork.

"Yeah... is it supposed to be leaning like that?" Carlos asked.

"Not at all," Kendall replied. James and Logan readjusted the stake until the tent stood straight.

"So, what should we do first?" Kendall asked.

"I don't know. Should we go fishing?" James suggested.

"Yeah! We can eat them for lunch!" Carlos squealed.

"Them? How do you know we can even catch one fish, never mind plural fishes," Logan said skeptically.

It was Kendall's turn to be sarcastic. He swaggered over to Logan and Carlos and clapped them both on the shoulders. "I'll have you boys know, that I have never returned from a fishing excursion, fishless. Not once!"

"Fishing excursion?" James echoed.

"Fishless?" Logan said.

"That's right. Not once," Kendall repeated.

"Oh, really? So then, what you're really sayin', is that you would go fishing with that one uncle of yours that you're always talking about, not be able to catch a single one, stop off at the market to buy some, and pass them off as ones that you guys actually caught?" he finished breathlessly.

"Something like that," Kendall conceded with a grimace.

x-x

Meanwhile, Mrs. Knight and Katie were checking in at the lodge on the other side of the lake; the safe side.

"Wow!" Katie said happily, admiring the lobby with its stone fireplace and over-sized leather furniture. They entered their room to find an equally impressive lay-out. Katie released a low whistle. "I think I just may enjoy this after all."

She opened the drapes, to reveal the vast view of the campground below that the two-story balcony had to offer. "This is pretty posh, for a supposedly rustic lodge." She nodded toward the large flat-screen tv on the wall. "I thought camping was about 'roughing it', Mom."

"Oh, I don't do 'roughing it' Katie," Mrs. Knight reminded her. "Besides, we can keep an eye on the boys from up here without them knowing."

She pulled out her hi-powered binoculars, complete with night-vision lenses, from her handbag. "I was promised that I would have a bird's-eye view of the entire site, at least the designated 'safe zones'. It's much too dangerous outside of those, and against the rules."

She scanned the rows of tents. She could not find the boys' tent that she had clearly marked with a florescent orange BTR logo on top, that would even glow in the dark. She lowered them. "Hmmmm," she murmured," that's odd."

"What's odd, Mom?"

"I marked the top of their tent so that I could find it, but it's none of these."

"Well, those idiots are probably lost already," Katie said with a shrug. "Hey, I wonder if we get FOX network here." She grabbed the remote and lunged into the fluffy pillows.

Mrs. Knight raised her binoculars once more and studied the entire parking lot with no sign of the truck either. She sighed loudly. Why did the boys have to be so much trouble?

x-x

Gustavo and Kelly also checked in, completely unaware of Katie and Mrs. Knight's arrival. There weren't any more rooms with a view available, so they wound up on the lower floor without a balcony, and with a great view of the dumpster. They left a few things in the room and headed out immediately to set up their spy tent.

"Got everything we need?" Gustavo whispered. "And why am I whispering?"

"I think so...binoculars, check...tent, check...pillows, check...sleeping bags, check...canteens, check...snacks, check...," she called off. She slung her bag over Gustavo's shoulder, nearly collapsing him to the ground.

"Ahhh! Kelly! Kelly! What on earth do you have in here!" He frantically tried to balance himself with the bag still weighing heavily on his other shoulder.

"I just went through all that!" she said. "Did you not just hear me?"

"I thought we were going to be sharing the burden!" he snapped.

"We are. Look, I have the listening devices, cell phones, and other cool techy gadgets."

Gustavo huffed, staggering out the door behind her, bouncing off of the walls as he went.

"Look! A cart!" she said, when they reached the lobby.

"And...no one will notice us rolling it about in the woods! Really Kelly?"

Kelly mysteriously dove behind a potted tree, yanking Gustavo with her. The bags knocked down a nearby vase, crumbling it to the carpet. No one seemed to notice the muffled sound from the bustling lobby. They kicked the pieces under a nearby sofa and ducked back out of view. Kelly slid the cart out a side door, and helped Gustavo fling the bags aboard. They quickly rolled away and disappeared into the thick of the trees.

x-x

Hawk and Rebecca also checked in. They occupied the only suite available in the lodge, and were already enjoying their second glass of wine. "This will be the sweetest revenge ever," he purred.

She smiled. "I never knew camping could be so much fun," she said, propping her feet up on an ottoman. She relaxed deeper into the comfort of her chair and took another sip.

"What will be the most satisfying, is the expressions on their faces when we ultimately execute our plans," he snickered. She smiled at him. He opened his mouth wide and threw back his head to release his signature 'caw'.

She raised a hand to silence him. "Pleeease," she whispered, "not here!"

He pouted at her."Caw," he mouthed, silently...

x-x

Thanks for reading! I will have the next part up shortly, so let me know how it's going so far.

Crumpet