The Diary of Miura

Entry #8 Owls and Cows

Understanding Mukuro was like understanding a fish. If that even made any sense … See? That's what trying to understand Mukuro was like. It didn't make any sense!

I was pretty certain he'd taken me as a substitute for M.M while he was away from her. It was so annoying. That crazy woman was ready to cut off her right hand for him. I wouldn't give him my spit even if he was dying of thirst.

I winced as his grip on my wrist tightened. Ah man. He'd read my mind. And my mind was not a fond place for people whom I disliked.

So what had really happened? Well, it was nothing short of a nightmare. And Mukuro was making it a point to agitate my injured shoulder. He had held my hand so high above my head that my shoulder muscles were straining and it was hurting. I even stood on my toes to try to get some height and soothe the pain but the fervent tall man just hovered my hand higher in the air and I was soon wincing at every movement.

Mukuro had come over to get a scoop on what exactly had happened. Before I could even narrate it to him he said he found out. Turns out he swept through my memories whilst I was still silenced by his hand over my mouth. I guess he himself didn't show up then because there were three enraged Guardians and his face was as welcome in Vongola as a fly on your dessert. Everyone thought he was using Chrome to break apart the family. Well, now she was out of his clutches.

"You're a good little girl, Haru" He had said as he dragged me further back when he had first laid hand on me the night. "A good intelligent girl" When my feet had stopped grating against the floor I realized he was leaning against the wall and slowly lifting me up against his chest. I was suddenly panic-stricken. My mouth was silenced and my attempts to remove his single arm from around my waist were pathetically futile. What was the point of self defense classes! I started kicking against his shins but he seemed to be hardly effected. "You're obedient and determined, headstrong and resolved" He was doing everything slowly and I had absolutely no idea what he was doing.

And then I ended up in my current position where he had let go of my mouth but my tongue was tied and I was literally hanging by the wrist from which he had held me, pretty close to bashing me against the wall. It reminded me awfully of the last time he had possessed me. Lambo had shown me a security footage of it and I could feel the spare hair on the back of my neck rising up as I recalled the words he had exchanged with Tsuna through my body; "You can either consider my terms or I will make a show of bashing this brain so that it leaks from those ears"and yes, he had been talking about mincing my brain within my own skull. I shuddered.

Mukuro kept chanting things, more like praises or attributes of my character. I didn't know what he was doing and by the time I figured it out – too late. He hooked his hand at the back of my collar and pulled it back so some skin of my back was revealed to him and I was choking on the front. I kicked backwards at him to show a sign of protest and that's when the pain began. I could feel a sharp, pointed metallic object piercing my skin and slowly being pushed inside. The pain was outrageous. I squirmed and struggled but he kept my head still enough for the metal to penetrate further, deeper and deeper. It hurt. It hurt so bad that tears came as no surprise to me when they fell out. I couldn't voice myself. I tried. I really did. But breaking out of trances was so damn hard.

The insertion point was somewhere below my neck, a little to the side and –if I must be exact- right behind my injured collar bone. What he wanted to achieve through its insertion was beyond me because he pulled it back out and that pain was more like a slipping stinging, a sharp kind of pain. The object had to be damn long and thick because I felt it as it poked some of my insides on its way out.

The second it exited my skin I let out a sharp gasp and it escaped my lips. I was so relieved to hear my voice again. Moving my arm now seemed to be tricky business more than anything.

"What've you done?" I gasped as I tried to find a comfortable position for my arm. It hurt at every godforsaken angle! Mukuro just slapped my arm against my side, the pain that shot through the joint was harsh but the absence of pain at this position from my shoulder was satisfying. I slowly turned around to face him, slowly because I didn't want to put my abused upper body in any unintended pain. That suddenly became the least of my worries as I felt blood trickling down my back. I shuddered as I felt my shirt beginning to stick to me because of it. "What've you done!" This time my voice was chocked and laced with panic and tears. To make things worse I couldn't see him. The darkness was death black. "Oh God"

"Hush" His voice came from right in front of me. His breath made my tear ticklish on my cheek. I didn't know if his entire body was so close to me or whether it was just his head leaning over mine but just the thought of his closeness made me uncomfortable. I pressed myself against the wall for some distance to appear and scooted to the right. My wound was feeling more disgusting by the second and I was wondering whether I'd be staining the wall behind me too. "I can still see where you are" His voice scared me. It felt threatening. "Until your thoughts die, I can tell where you're hiding. Even in this darkness you're just as visible to me as on a sunny day in an open field"

That was not something I wanted to hear. Definitely not right now. Darkness is comforting when you're hiding. It gives you a sort of cover, some relief that maybe the predator chasing you wouldn't be able to see you because you weren't able to see through the endless blackness either.

"Don't cry" I felt him coming closer. I wondered if this was how Chrome had felt when Hibari had appeared. I was terrified. Mukuro was so unpredictable. For all I know he could be wanting to soak his fingers in my open wound for the sick pleasure of it. "That's blasphemous" He said, but I could detect a tinge of amusement in his tone. Why was he always intruding my head, my home, my space, my privacy? It's like he was holding some sort of grudge against me and making me pay painfully slow. Maybe this was about Chrome too? Everything was somehow related to her when Mukuro became involved.

I was swept off floor as Mukuro scooped me up. My shoulder gave a sure sign of protest by the way it was hurting. The pain was killing me. Worse, I had a feeling blood was dripping to the floor now. I felt every step bouncing on me as Mukuro carried me upstairs. My memory became a puzzle from there on. I only remember being carried up and the jerk making fun of 'how a mess you are!' I definitely recall being put to bed and the lights that were suddenly turned on really blinded me.

The end.

That's as far as my memory was intact.

Even my dream was a void of nothingness.

I woke up with vivid images of everything that had happened yesterday. Most of which was not good. The day ended with Mukuro and I instantly jumped up in bed, looking around quickly, making sure he wasn't entertaining himself with me. I was in the master bedroom, my father's room. The door was ajar.

I pulled the sheets off myself and decided to check on Lambo first. Then I saw the blooded gauze and cotton laying around. My hand was unconsciously on my shoulder and I felt the rough gauze wrapped around it. That had me confused.

"Mukuro!" I rushed out of the room and looked down the stairs. Lambo wasn't on the sofa as he had been last night. "Lambo!" The two, where were they? "Lambo?" Knowing the little I did about my illusionist friends, they always stuck around till breakfast. And the one –probably still- here wasn't very fond of Lambo.

I hurried down and stairs and started looking room to room. Finally I entered the kitchen. Mukuro was there busy with his phone, but Lambo wasn't present. "What did you do to him? Where's Lambo?" I balled my hands and glared at him. He vehemently ignored me.

"M.M is coming over to pick me up. Isn't it a joy?" He spoke really sweetly but I was bitter, from last night and present. It sounded to me as if he was faking his politeness. Nonetheless, it was a relief to hear someone was coming to take away the lunatic, even if it was one of my least favourite people on the planet. Now that I thought about it, there weren't many people that I liked to begin with. I wondered if my personality had deteriorated through the years, if lesser people liked me compared to back in the careless days. Argh, who cares about pointless things like these? "Do you know why I'm lured towards you Miura?" My head snapped back towards him.

Because he thought I resembled M.M, that was the answer right? I held up a hand and rolled my eyes. "Just tell me where Lambo is"

"Ding. Incorrect" He laughed. "Guess again"

Bastard. If it could be helped, I'd have thrown him out into the yard straight through the window. "Please" I sighed. "Where is Lambo?"

"What's the matter Haru-ne-san?"

I whirled around on my heel and found the teenager staring right back at me. "Lambo?" Was he an illusion?

"No. He's the real pain" Mukuro replied. So then, why wasn't he freaking out because of Mukuro's presence? The real Lambo would be having fits by now. "Really?" The man laughed. I looked over my shoulder at him and then observed Lambo again. He looked really confused for some reason.

"What happened to you? You look like shit" Ah, always the blunt one. It was then I realized he must be talking about my bandaged shoulder. Brakes! Couldn't he see Mukuro? I raised my eyebrows.

"Didn't you hear about it from Hayato?"

The boy grumbled something incoherent. "Tried" Was his only reply. "Any who, whatchu do yesterday?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Seriously, what did you do? Stupidera was so pissed, the real time pissed. It's like his self explode bomb finally went off"

"When did you talk to him?" I narrowed my eyes.

Lambo didn't seem defensive at all. He rather looked like he wanted to speak truth for once. "Early morning" He replied.

"And how do you know Iam responsible for his idiocy?"

"Oh it was really obvious" This time he shrugged his shoulders. "When ever he's pissed at you he just goes on and on about how stupi- abouthowyoupisshimoff" He quickly corrected himself but I caught it nonetheless. Even his lazy eye was fully wide and open now and he backtracked a bit. Mukuro laughed mirthfully.

"He said that … to you?"

Can Hayato NOT embarrass me for like, I don't know, ONCE in my life. Here I am, boarding a leech in my house and Hayato even goes on to poison him against me! Well, not really poison, but still though. Does it kill him to refer to me as a knowledgeable intelligent person? Which I most certainly am. Okay, so maybe I'm not the prettiest face in the world but in the least I'm not a total dorko, or really ugly, or someone with no life! . . . uh . . . I have no life … Mukuro laughed again.

"Oh, how you amuse me" He complimented, I guess. It just went on to enrage me further.

Next I had made a grab for Lambo's collar and pulled him up to myself. It didn't work so effectively as it used to because Lambo was now just as tall as me, which is so unfair, and just as heavy too. I jutted my finger pointedly on his chest and he winced. At least something was affecting him.

"You tell that oni-san of yours to meet up with me sometime. I'm free for the next two weeks thanks to boss" I released him and sharply pointed out the door. "Get to school!"

"Yes ma'am" He scrambled out and I didn't see him but I heard him leave in a rush.

Mukuro hummed and his voice felt so close a shiver ran up my spine. He really was close. I put some distance between us and looked at the wall clock. It was past time for any school to still be open now, but thankfully Lambo didn't retort with that. He was a good kid, no matter how disobedient, he knew when to leave. Thank God he did.

"Do you know what he was thinking?" Mukuro beamed at me.

"I don't want to know other people's private thoughts" Yes, I wanted to make a point.

"He thought you walked out of the Storm's bed" The illusionist burst into a barrage of laughter and I just stared back at him. I what? Storm what? Who's bed? "Oh how dense you can be" He chuckled. The male pulled out his trident and suddenly flung it towards me. A gasp left me instantly as the trident impaled itself, two of its pins on either side of my neck. I gently shook it but it didn't budge. "He thought you denied his oni-san'sintimate advances at the peak of the poor man's excitement" Mukuro's smile became lopsided. "If you still didn't get that, you refused Gokudera sex"

I gaped at him. That's what Lambo thought happened last night? That perverted little prick! He's not supposed to be thinking about things like these till he becomes twenty-one! Stupid brat cow. If he stays near those stupid Mafioso he's bound to get more spoiled! Already he's skipping classes and toying with orders. Then his line of unlimited girlfriends! If Nana isn't going to control that brat, I seriously am going to step in and take official custody for him. Already his ego is over inflated because of his high status in the underworld. Tch. Kids are so outrageous these days. I still remember my days, I was so innocent, even at twenty!

Hmm, Fuuta is nice too. He's so adorable. Lambo should take him as a role model. What about I-pin? She's always hanging around Lambo. She's practically his shadow! Why isn't he getting her good habits?

Mukuro pulled back the trident with ease.

I turned around and inspected the damaged wall. It's going to need a good excuse and some cement to cover up. Wait, why would I need an excuse? It's not like I'll be calling over Hayato to fix it up.

A ripple moved through the wall and the damage was suddenly gone. Mukuro's hands came on either side of me face and I felt his body close in on my back. "There is no damage" He said. "It was in your head" Is it a lie, or is it the truth? I can never tell with this guy. Well, there's a reason he's still not captured and almost undefeated. "I still didn't get my answer"

"huh?"

"What lures me towards you?"

I raised my hands to push his away. He allowed me to budge them a little but hardened them so not to let them stray too far away from me. "How should I know?"

He snickered. "But you should" I could fell his smile broadening. "Because it is the intense mind, your strange thinking, the depth of your thoughts that is so fascinating" That was the reason? "Why are you still a virgin? I hate men.But really, how true is that?" His lips were right behind my ear. I could feel his cold breath as it escaped his throat and brushed against my skin. It made me want to recoil. I could feel my blood running cold. "You don't hate. No, no, no. You're afraid. The fear has warped itself into hate. Such a modified fear, that you project it as hate. From my perspective, you would see how fascinating it is"

What a load of bullshit. "What are you saying? I don't get it at all"

"Don't you long for it?" He planted a soft kiss on my ear. I was suddenly aware of how uncomfortably close he was. How uncomfortable I was at the disadvantage. His kiss was cold. His lips were cold. His skin was so pale but it never occurred to me if he had a heart beat. "Maybe everyone's touch doesn't appeal to you, but in the depth of your hidden thoughts, don't you think about it?" As if a curtain had suddenly been removed, Mukuro's hands changed to a healthy fair colour. His fingers were equipped with multiple rings and I would recognize those any day, anywhere.

"Hayato?" I tried turning but his body wouldn't allow me. All I could do was rotate my head to try and see if what I had seen was real. I was suddenly breathless. It was real. It was so real. It was there in flesh and blood. I tried to say something and only ended up shutting my mouth again. I knew it was an illusion but its effect was so tremendously powerful. I turned back to the wall again, closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against it. It's only an illusion. It's only an illusion.But when my eyes reopened, he was still there. I decided to keep my eyes shut for the while.

A squeak involuntarily escaped me as his teeth nipped my ear. "Don't you dar-" I gasped as his lips started trailing down my neck.

"It's fine, as long as it's my touch, correct?"

It was Hayato's voice … No, it was exactly like Hayato's voice. It was Mukuro. I had to remember it was Mukuro.

"Get OFF!" I rammed my back into him and it worked. He stumbled backwards and in my hurry to escape I moved a bit too and then our feet bumped and then our legs got tangled and we were both down. My injured shoulder hit the ground first and unconsciously a cry left me. Things don't heal miraculously overnight, do they? I guess I forgot that because my shoulder hadn't hurt since I woke up. I instantly scrambled away when I felt Mukuro stirring. That no good piece of shit.

A large hand was suddenly clamped around my ankle and I skidded over the tiled kitchen floor as Mukuro pulled me back. I tried to get a grip on any of the tiles, I tried digging my nails into some crack but I was probably slipping on grease because things were going too easily for him. When I felt him getting on my back again I elbowed him hard and – to my horror and pleasant surprise- my elbow went straight to his forehead and then buried in his eye. I only scooted a little farther when his large hand landed hard on the back of my head and unexpectedly, he slammed my head to the ground. The pain came a second too late and I took in uneven breaths.

It felt like I was fighting for my life.

Which I probably was.

It took me too late to recover because Mukuro's hands were on my waist and he pinned me down. My squirming became useless and I was only kicking the floor and air with all my might. I banged the floor and started cursing. My head was able to get visual on him just as he began closing down. I could only see his hair when he nuzzled my neck. On the brick of confusion I could only mutter … "W-Wha-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" His teeth dug in deeper and I could feel that he was applying more force. On my stomach as he sat on my spine, I could do nothing but scream and thrash as he abused my neck. Was he trying to bite through a vessel? I'd die!

He wasn't stopping. It's like he was planning on cutting out a chunk from the side of my neck. His tongue was warm. I didn't expect the inside of his mouth to be warm but it was no comfort. With my hand at an odd angle I managed to grab a fistful of his hair and he stopped.

He didn't stop because I grabbed him. He didn't stop because I stopped thrashing. He stopped because . . . uh, I noticed it too late.

Sneakers. I could see sneakers in front of me. Not any random sneaker shoes, cow print ones. Lambo's shoes. I traced my eyes up his figure and he wasn't alone.

"I'll call Hayato-ni-san!" I-pin announced as she ran away and Lambo glared down, not at me, at Mukuro.

Close

I'm going to upload all the previously existing chapters -and the new one I typed before I found out that the story was in a grave- and then see if I get a flutter going in my heart.