ReRevenge of the Island: An Alternate Reality

Note: Well guys, looks like I can't keep a promise. It took so goshdamn long! I'm incredibly sorry for those who had to wait all this time, and I want to remind everyone that I will finish this story through to the end. Due to life, which isn't something you can delay, I just had no time at all to do this. However, I finally did over a series of a few days, and got right to work on this baby. My hope is that I didn't lose too many people due to the time it took for this to come out. Also, I've watched Total Drama All Stars, and I'm aware that after seeing that for eight weeks, it may be hard to place yourself back into season four, before certain stuff in season five has happened yet. I made a few revisions to my plans for this fic due to it, so part of the long wait was that as well. Also, I only realized a little while ago that I totally forgot a recap for the last episode! Absolutely unprofessional on my part, but I have since added that to chapter ten. Anyways, now that the new chapter is here, please enjoy it, and I hope this story is just as good as you all remember.

Warning: If swearing or anything else that may push the envelope easily bothers you, this chapter is not for you.

Recap: Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island, there was tons of tension built up amongst the campers. After Scott saved himself with the Chris Head, everybody had finally seen him for the rat that he is. In addition, Dakota was back in the game, meaning that she could reconnect and have another shot at the money! That night, all the couples left in the game had a moment, swearing that they'd stick together until the end. This also complicated the alliance between Dawn and Jo, who themselves had a pact to go to the end also. In the challenge, the teams woke up on a raft in the middle of Lake Wawanakwa- their task was to get back to shore, then find a buried Gwen and Courtney…for which production was NOT liable! Along the way, Jo made deals with almost everybody, one of which was with Mike, telling him to throw the challenge for the Maggots so Scott could go next. This (rightfully so) raised suspicions amongst other campers. After getting to shore, Zoey experienced lots of physical pains, which were found out to be from radiation poisoning acquired in the previous challenge down in the mine. Another noteworthy moment was when Brick pretty much killed an alligator to save Dawn's life- this upset her, however, and he felt incredibly guilty (they're on good terms now, however). Eventually, both teams made it to the clearing where the chest was buried; both teams went back and forth between almost finding the right chest out of several buried underground. While the Rats had the advantage for most of the challenge, the Maggots pulled out a win in the end, sparing Scott from a potential ride on the Hurl of Shame. That night, in a very difficult decision at the ceremony, Dawn and Sam voted to eliminate Jo because she was deemed to untrustworthy, strategically speaking, to go any further. While she, and Brick, were initially shocked and upset, she came to accept her fate in a very uncharacteristic fashion; perhaps she grew from this experience? After the ceremony, Scott coaxed Zoey into a shady alliance by blackmailing her with a photo he had of her mostly naked, with Mike in it too. Scandalous! Is Zoey going to be forever trapped in this "alliance"? Can Brick forgive his teammates for voting off Jo, his true love? And which of the seven remaining campers will be able to grab some strategic power in this crucial episode?

And now, back to the plot!

Medical Tent

(Night has fallen, and the moon shines brightly from the sky above. Crickets chirp, owls hoot, and cicadas make that obnoxious noise of their own. And it just so happens that, in the middle of the night, the doctor has revived one of his patients.)

Doctor: Are you all right, dear? (The person that he's talking to eventually sits up, and manages to realize where she is.)

Courtney: Where…where am I? (She is still sluggish after being in her previous paralytic state.)

Doctor: You are in the medical tent right now, Miss Courtney. We've just managed to awaken you after being in your comatose state.

Courtney (worried): What the…how long was I out for?

Doctor: Do not be alarmed- you were only asleep for about a day…it was not a dangerously long amount of time to be unconscious. Your internal systems did not show any irregularities.

Courtney: That's a relief…what happened to me, Doctor?

Doctor: We…we found an unusually high amount of tranquilizers in your blood. It left you asleep for longer than most tranquilized people usually are.

Courtney: But how can that…be…? (Courtney thinks back to earlier memories.) I was…eating turkey…in the mess hall.

Doctor: …and? (Just then, Courtney comes to a sudden realization.)

Courtney: …Of course! CHRIS! He did this to me, didn't he?!

Doctor: …I would not put it above Mr. McLean do have done this to you, dear. One of our campers told us that he drugged another intern. (Courtney, now remembering everything, snarls.)

Courtney (enraged): So he used me, huh? (She pulls this doctor by his collar to her face.) I got dragged over to this DUMP, and the one schlemiel who I despise most of all, has the audacity TO PUT NARCOTICS INSIDE MY PURE, FRAIL BODY! (The doctor, shaken, makes her let him go.)

Doctor: Please now, sweetie, you must remain calm. (Courtney looks mortified, as if her soul was made impure by the devil's work.) I would never condone his…methods of using you, or other interns for that matter, for production purposes. In fact, my medical team and I have only been here for about a few days- Mr. McLean fired the previous one for their negligence.

Courtney: …Oh. Well, I suppose I can't really be mad at you, then. I'm sorry I yelled at you…

Doctor: …It is not a problem, dear. I can understand your frustrations; Mr. McLean should be much less haphazard with his treatment of the staff members, and between you and me dear, I am disgusted by many of the things he does in regard to how the show is run. Just don't tell him I said those things…I could be fired if he knew.

Courtney: I won't snitch on you, I promise…but I sure will give him a piece of MY MIND! Actually, you know what? I won't even bother to do that! I'm out of this dump-

Doctor: Um, actually, you won't be able to do that, Miss Courtney…

Courtney: …Excuse me? (Tension builds in her voice.)

Doctor: I forgot to mention, but Mr. McLean has contractually obligated you to remain here to help with the next challenge…after that you are free to go, but until then you must remain on the island. I'm terribly sorry. (Courtney looks dumbfounded, and after a few moments of looking like she could explode into flames, she scoffs, looking to the side.)

Courtney: ….…Well then! I guess that's his mistake, because I'll make every moment for him a living HELL! (She gets up, now seemingly unrestricted by her previous paralysis.) I'm off to the intern cabin now…to maybe get some decent sleep. (As she's about to leave, she looks to the doctor.) …Thanks for everything, mister. I owe it all to you that I'm awake again.

Doctor: It's quite all right, dear- after all; it's my job to look out for everyone here. Rest up, and be careful out there. (She smiles, waves, then leaves.) What a sweet young lady. It's a shame Mr. McLean has to torture bright, young teens on this show as he does…

Meanwhile…

Toxic Rats Cabin (Girls)

(Dawn is all by herself in the girls' side of the cabin, and has just put on her pajamas; for the first time in a while, she was once again the only girl on her team.)

Dawn: Boy, it sure is…quiet. Not sure if I consider that a good thing now, or not… (Normally, Dawn was comfortable in silence, as it gave her time to meditate. Right now, however, being alone and having everything quiet didn't feel quite right.)

Dawn: I'm still not sure if I made the right decision. I just doubt that Jo would've wanted to stab me in the back- her aura didn't convince me of it…oh Gaia, what have I done? (She exhales deeply, trying to get the stress to flow out of her body. Needless to say, it doesn't do the trick right away.)

Dawn: I'm sure Brick will be upset, even if he doesn't admit to being so- hey, what is… (She spots something on Jo's bed, and goes over to look at it.) Wait a second, is this- (After looking at it more closely, Dawn realizes that it is Jo's whistle. One of the most important items to her, Dawn decides to put it around her neck for safekeeping.)

Dawn (softly, to herself): I'll keep this safe for you, my friend…it'll be the part of you that stays with me here, for as long as I'm here without you… (She holds the whistle close to her heart, and then kisses it softly.) I'm sorry… (Tears leak from her eyes, but then she shakes it off.)

Dawn: No…I can't be sad. She said it was only a game. She would be proud of me…not upset. (She then lies on her bed, curls up, and smiles to herself.) Maybe things won't be so bad anymore after all…

Meanwhile…

Toxic Rats Cabin (Guys)

(The two guys lie on their beds, both half-asleep, but as usual, none of them have quite gotten there just yet.)

Brick: Dude, my head is spinning…

Sam: I know, man. Everything that happened today…er, yesterday technically, has made me all sore. I really hope our next challenge isn't, you know, too physical.

Brick: Heh, if only. I'm sure that'd be the bare minimum for any challenge here.

Sam: Yeah. (The two are silent for some few moments, until Sam nervously speaks up.) Hey dude, listen, I'm sorry that-

Brick: Don't worry, Sam. I'm not upset about it, honest. (Sam seems surprised by this somewhat preemptive response.)

Sam: …Really? I mean, I just feel bad about it even though she seemed to be okay with it…I just hope there aren't any hard feelings between us.

Brick (assuring): Of course there isn't, Sam. You're one of my best friends! Sure, I'm a bit bummed Jo had to go, but chances are she would be at some point anyway- I was quite aware of the chances. It's just part of the game; besides, I'll see her afterwards anyways!

Sam (relieved): Oh, well that's good. (He sighs.) Well, if you say so man. It still wasn't exactly easy though…I kind of liked her too- as a friend of course. But I knew she wanted me out, so…yeah. Again, sorry 'bout that.

Brick: I was probably going to go if not her, actually. I kind of hoped I was going to save her by sacrificing myself. (Sam gasps.)

Sam: Dude, you voted for yourself? Wait, so…oh gosh, man. You didn't need to...you know! Why'd you do that?

Brick: It was really because I couldn't bring myself to vote out any of you. I just thought that if I voted for myself, whatever happened next would leave me without any blood on my hands. Even if it resulted in me going, it'd be better than having to write down one of your guys' names.

Sam: Well…I guess that speaks volumes about your character, man. Though there will be many more votes to come, so I wouldn't recommend doing that anymore. Just a recommendation, really. (How redundant of him to say.)

Brick: I'm sure I won't vote for myself anymore, I can assure you that, Sam. (He yawns.) You're right; today was stressful. I think I may have talked all the rest of my energy away, and- (He yawns again, only for longer.) I'm goin' to bed, so…good night. (He then collapses into a state of sleep.)

Sam: Heh. Good man, he is. Guess I'd better be catching some Z's as well…I sure will need it! (He soon follows suit, falling to bed completely before long.)

Confession Cam

Sam: I wonder what it is that makes people so talkative in the middle of the night while they struggle to sleep? Maybe it's the talking that'll eventually drain someone of the rest of his or her energy? Well, whatever the reason, it usually works.

(Static)

Brick: I hope Sam doesn't think I'm holding anything against him for him voting Jo off. Am I happy she's gone? Not one bit. But I'm not going to be angry at Sam- or Dawn- for playing the game as they were meant to. Part of Total Drama is voting off people that you're friends with…everyone has to do it eventually. I'm hoping that after we get off Scott and have to vote out each other, people will be as understanding as me when it comes to that principle. Because, well, there are lots of couples still here together, so…well, you know how stingy they can be when it comes to eliminations…

End of Confessionals

Mutant Maggots Cabin (Guys)

(Mike is lying in his bed covers and all. He looks up at the base of the empty bunk above him. To his left he hears Scott whittling something using his whittling chip, and while it's annoying, Mike manages to not get bothered by it too much.)

Mike: So, very interesting day, wasn't it? (Scott doesn't respond, and simply grunts.) Yeah, real mature- don't answer me when I talk to you.

Scott (bitterly): Why should I answer to you, sir? You're not exactly in charge of me in any way. Plus, you're not very nice to me.

Mike: Even if I don't really care for you…and by "really" I mean at all, I kind of would like you to answer me when I speak to you. (Scott ignores this, continuing to speak.)

Scott: You think you've won, don't you? Well guess what doofus, I'm still here- that's not exactly the definition of "defeating" me.

Mike: Just face it- you're practically a dead man walking; I think that's pretty much close enough to the definition.

Scott (smarmily): What are you, a dictionary?

Mike: Ha. Good one. Only it wasn't good at all. (Both scrunch their faces.)

Scott: I really don't like you that much, Spider Boy. (Mike raises an eyebrow.)

Mike: What's with the "Spider Boy" thing? Do you really have an issue with my interest in-

Scott (interrupts): Cock? Yeah, I kinda do. According to God's Law, only a man and a woman are legitimate as a couple. I don't think your true nature would coincide with that… (Mike looks a bit shocked by the bigotry of this statement.)

Mike: What? What does that have to do with anything we were saying? That kind of came right out of left-field. And what's with you being so vehemently anti-gay? (Scott laughs at his question.)

Scott: Silly liberal, don't you understand? (He nastily narrows his eyes.) When judgment day comes, you'll be the first to be dragged into hell, while good fellows like me will enjoy an eternity of paradise. (Mike is floored by how absurd Scott is making this sound.)

Mike: You're just despicable, dude. Don't you realize how that'll make other people perceive you?

Scott: I don't care about that. I'm just here to win the game, duh. Being nice is for pussies, and fa- (Mike having had enough, suddenly snaps.)

Mike: Go to bed, NOW, before I decide throw you out! (He cracks all of his knuckles, making sickening popping sounds all the while and freaking Scott out.)

Scott (scared, but not showing it): Um….….…fine. Have it your way, I'm sick of talking to you anyway. Just stop being such a…gaypher. (He pulls his covers over his head, and grumbles.)

Mike (satisfied): Good. And don't you forget it, buster. Step out of line even a little, and you'll get it.

Confession Cam

Mike: I was simply floored by how Scott could say such abhorrent, hateful things. What's wrong with gay people, anyway? Besides, nowhere in the Bible does it mention that being gay is a sin! My family doesn't even visit Church that often, and even I know that!

(Static)

Scott: Oh Mike, how I loathe thee. (He whittles some more of a stick.) Soon, though, he won't be in any position to talk to me that way! Now, if he knew about the picture, he wouldn't be so easily persuaded into working for me, I know that. Luckily, however, his precious little Zoey is. (He cackles.) I'm going to use her to destroy him, until she is mine and he is completely demoralized! It may take a few rounds, but I'll have to deliver the blows at the right time. See, Mike isn't quite correct as he thinks he is…I have more power than he believes. If my plan goes accordingly as I desire, Mike will soon be powerless…

End of Confessionals

Mutant Maggots Cabin (Girls)

(Zoey lies on her bed, crying, shaking, and unable to sleep.)

Zoey (hoarsely): I can't believe it…he's found a way to break me… (She cries some more, and simultaneously wipes her mouth after kissing Scott's gross lips.)

Zoey: The things he'll make me do…oh, how can I get out of this? If I tell Mike, all that would happen is that Scott would send the pictures if he was confronted… (As she weeps hopelessly, she hears a knock on the door- terrified of seeing a certain someone, she ducks under her bed before the person enters.)

Mike: Hello? Zoey, are you in here?

Zoey: Mike! (She crawls out of under the bed…)

Mike: Zoey? What were you doing down there? (He notices her mascara running, too.) What…what's wrong? Why are you crying…is something wrong? (Immediately he is concerned, and goes up to her. She thinks up an excuse, one to hide the truth from him.)

Zoey: Mike, oh thank goodness, I- I had a terrible nightmare. (He now has her in a hug.)

Mike (concerned): What happened in it, Zoey? I heard you crying from the other room…please, tell me everything…

Zoey: There…there was this swirling, red cloud with a demonic face, and its heart was exposed, beating furiously and while it echoed through the darkness, it was chanting my name…then yours. It took you away, and I heard you screaming… (She cries even more, but not because of her fabricated story…and Mike brings her closer.)

Mike: Zoey…I'm…it's okay. Don't worry about it, it wasn't real…you're safe here. (Zoey sniffles a bit.)

Zoey: I…I know, Mike, it's just that…I…I still remember it taking you away….…I can't get over how real it felt.

Mike: Hey, it's all right. We all have scary dreams sometimes. You don't need to feel ashamed of that kind of thing-

Zoey: Mike…you w-won't…you wouldn't ever leave me, will you?

Mike (confused, slightly worried): Wh-what? What makes you say that?

Zoey: Well, I…see…a friend of mine, Ted, said that he was with this girl he met on a reality show, kind of like us-

Mike: Okay… (He nods and "mmhmms".)

Zoey: And he told me that there was never anyone more amazing he'd met in his life…he was just so in love with her…she also was head over heals for him, too…

Mike (chuckles): Sounds lovely…

Zoey: …but he told me, just before I left for this game, that he thinks she wants to leave him. I don't know why, but it broke my heart to hear him say it…because he's always, well, quite chipper…

Mike: Poor guy…that had to be tough.

Zoey: Well, he never confirmed anything, but….….…Mike, listen, if something ever happened, and we disagreed, I don't want to have to- (She stops talking, as he plants a kiss on her lips. After he pulls away, she is calm.)

Mike: I would never leave you for something arbitrary, Zoey. Even if we has a disagreement, I wouldn't do that. I don't know what's up with your buddy Ted's relationship…and some do eventually end in our teen years….…but. But Zoey, you're like nothing else. You're so nice, so fun to be around. If anything is worrying you, I just want to let you know, the way I feel about you, there is NO reason that I would ever- (Just then, Mike gasps, shifting to another personality.)

Mike (as Chester): Now you remember dear, every now an' then young, blossomin' women like ya will go through tough times, an' yer emotions will get the better of ye…don' let 'em make ya think awry. Things may scare ye, but it's yer job ta look past that n' sock whatcha dislike in da face! (While initially lost with Chester's random speech, she chuckles, sort of getting the message that Mike had been preaching before.)

Zoey (somewhat relieved of stress): Thanks, Chester. I can always count on you to tell me what to do. (She hugs Mike, and Chester displays a rare smile.)

Mike (as Chester): Well, no problem dearie…now, I'd better get some good 'ol shut-eye… (As he stumbles wearily away, he trips while going out the door.) DANG IT! (He then hobbles back into the guys' side.)

Zoey: Oh, Chester…Mike must've been quite stressed to bring him out so late. (She sighs.) I just hope he never finds out…what if this goes beyond the game? How will I deal with being blackmailed? (She sighs again.) I'd better think about it for now…I can't figure it out right now. (She sighs for a third time.) I need my rest…maybe tomorrow I can think of something… (She gets in bed, pulls over her covers, and checks into Dream Land.)

Confession Cam

Zoey: I still cannot believe what Scott did to me! The dirt he has on me is actually a lot more powerful than I'm sure some people are thinking…if he sent that stuff out, I'd look like a shameless slut to everyone! Do you know what that'd do, with all the people who go to my school? I'd never live it down! And Mike, oh dear, it'd drag him down with me! Scott is such a perverted bastard! If only I could somehow get the upper hand, I could fix everything…but until then, I may have to…*gulp*…provide whatever "services" he'll request. Until I can let his guard down…

(Static)

Mike: Zoey seemed very distraught last night. She had a nightmare, and then asked me to assure her that we'd remain a couple. Is she insecure about something? Am I doing something inadequately? I might ask Dawn for advice later…but until then I- (He gasps, then turns into Vito all of a sudden.)

Mike (as Vito): I'll show 'er dat she's da only woman I love, brudah. Can' let dat escapade' wif Anne Maria make 'er feel distan' from me. (He gasps again.)

Mike: …did I go into another character? Anyways, I just want to make sure she's happy. No matter what it takes. Lord knows how had this game will become soon…

(Static)

Courtney: Well, since I've got the worst bed ever and I'm having such a hard time sleeping tonight, I thought I might as well come out here and rant about how much I HATE this show. Sure, I may have come close to winning it a few times, but that narrow shot I have always slips through my fingers! What baffles me is that there are even thirteen other people who, in their right minds, would willingly sign up for this show in the first place! And while I only have to assist with one challenge and that's it…I know Chris is going to milk my visit for all it's worth. Lousy piece of loser garbage…

End of Confessionals

The Next Morning…

(The sun rises on the horizon, peeking through the windows of those who have it on their side of the cabin. Soon enough afterwards, a Reveille is heard sounding off throughout camp, and six groaning, moaning teenagers step outside to see what the noise is all about.)

Chris: WEEEELCOOOOOME CAAAAMPEEEERS! TO DAAAAAAAAY NINE OF TOOOOOOOOTAAAAAAAAAL DRRAAAAAAAAAMMAAAAAAAA REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEENGE OOOOOOOOOF THHEEEEEEE IIIIISSSLLLAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNDUH! (As soon as Chris is done, everybody present, including Chef, all glare at him, completely unenthused by his antics.)

Sam (exasperated): Dude. Seriously. That was waaaaaaaay overdone.

Mike: And why so excited? Does waking us up in unnecessarily flamboyant ways, like, make you delighted or something?

Chris: Ignoring your off-putting cynicism, I have a special announcement for everyone, for today we have a very special treat! (Everyone perks up at this.)

Sam (excitedly): A video game marathon?

Zoey (gasps): Espressos?

Scott (now enthused): A copter bear hunt?

Chris: Calm your horses, everypony! None of that is it, as much as you wish for them. Because today is MERGE day! (Everyone cheers, and suddenly seems excited by this.)

Brick: Yes! Finally, some good news!

Mike: I'd say it's about time, all right!

Chris: Glad to see a change of mood from you munchkins! I knew it'd cheer everyone up for sure. Oh, and that's not all! After some long hours of rehabilitation and therapy, everyone please welcome back our one and only, somehow rather adored, Dakota! (The said young model walks into view, back in her normal human form, hair and all.)

Sam: DAKOTA! (He runs up to her, and they immediately embrace.) You're okay!

Dakota: Of course I'm okay, silly! Only the greatest doctors were able to drain me of all that nasty radiation.

Chris: See? What'd I tell ya? Best crew of medics in Canada. (People shoot him cold stares, aware of him being the cause of the problem in the first place.) What?

Dakota: Oh, my lovely hair! I've missed it soooooo much! (She sniffs her long, blonde locks, happy to be normal once again.)

Zoey: Awww, I'm so happy for you, Dakota! Glad to have you back! (Everyone then joins in, except for Scott, on welcoming Dakota back.)

Dakota: Thanks, guys. I couldn't have done it without everyone having faith in me. (She is beaming with pride, which of course annoys Chris, as the focus is off him.)

Chris: Okay, everyone! That's enough- eyes over here, c'mon, c'mon! (Sam and Dakota both nod, parting with a hug and going back over to their respective team cabins.) So, consequently, with the teams dissolved the cabins will now be separated between dudes and ladies. (Scott groans loudly, making everyone else roll his or her eyes.)

Dawn (annoyed): I know why he is upset about the separation of sexes…

Sam: Dude. Shut. Up.

Chris: Sorry Scott, dems the rules come the merge. Anyways, the guys will move to the Rats' old cabin, and girls go to the Maggots' humble abode. I'll give everybody some time to switch over and relax before we begin today's challenge, too. (He turns around to head off, but then stops.) Oh, and everyone make sure to drop a speech in the confessional expressing your opinions on the merge! That'd be good for the show. Until later, McLean OUT! (He leaves with Chef, and the teens look around at each other, ready to make according changes.)

Confession Cam

Scott: The merge, huh? Looks like things continue to get better for me all the time. Now, I don't need to worry about being on a small team and having to contribute…yeah, the whole "team" thing was kinda chaffing my butt. But now, I get to play for myself; it's the chance for me to win individual challenges and manipulate people into doing what I want. (He smirks.) Having recently gotten a new, hmm…mistress, I'm able to make her do anything I say! Nobody is aware of how much power I have at the moment…so now it's time to play my cards when the time arises. (He takes out his cell phone, beckoning to it.) No matter what happens by the end of today, I'll still be here…you'll see… (He snickers, and then laughs wickedly, until he drops the phone in the toilet.) DAMN IT! Now I have to get that…

(Static)

Brick: Hoo-rah! At last, the merge has come! One of the many things on my bucket list was to make the merge, and by golly, I'm just charmed to death that I made it. I'm sure Jo would've rocked at the merge too, but it's time to not think about that anymore, and see if I can do well in this stage of the game! I bet you I'll win at least one individual challenge before I go out…or, if I do.

(Static)

Zoey: The merge, yaaaay! (She half-heartedly jazzes her hands.) While it is a nice milestone, that still doesn't change anything with my current dilemma. Looks like I'll have to keep my head down for now, and let the powerhouses take each other out…but the only trouble is, how am I going to vote out Scott if he still will have that stuff on him?

(Static)

Dakota: HOORAY! I'm back everybody; Dakota Milton is once again in the flesh, fighting for the million! It's great to once again have my own hair, skin, and…well, remember what I said about a certain disability I may have acquired regarding fertility? Well, the doctor told me that the procedure cured that, too. So it's a non-issue, but I still feel like I ought to bring it up to Sam eventually…until then though, I guess I can bask in the wake of this new merge. I wonder if I can go further than two rounds this time?

(Static)

Mike: Finally! I was figuring that maybe around seven, or maybe even six people, we'd merge the teams. And we did! I was right; anyways, the only wrinkle in the fold is Scott, who is obviously going next. The only thing that could muck everything up is if he won immunity, but even if he did, there's no way he could win all of them. Just so long as he's kept far away from that final two…that I don't think he ever could get to. Voting off other people would be difficult, but as long as Scott wasn't here, I'd be fine.

(Static)

Sam: Hells to the yeah! To be honest, I didn't really expect to make it this far. I figured that I might make it to, at most, either six or seventh voted out…but eight eliminations, and I'm still here! Plus, they got Dakota back to normal- and I must say, I'm very thrilled to see her in a healthy state again. While I thought she was badass in her "Dakotazoid" form, it probably was unhealthy so it's certainly a relief to have her in her own skin again. Gosh, everything's going so awesomely today!

(Static)

Dawn: I'm incredibly thrilled that I've made it this far- to think that I could have been eliminated a few days ago really puts into perspective how anything can happen in this game. It hasn't been easy so far, but to reach the merge gives me appreciation for the people I've been able to share the experience with, and I hope that I can continue to make it further, step by step at a time. Now, I sense that Scott may have something up his sleeve, but it shouldn't be something concerning at all…after all, nobody in his or her right mind would do what he said or trust him. That, I am sure of.

End of Confessionals

Girls Cabin (Formerly Maggots Cabin)

(Mike and Scott pack up their belongings, as Dakota talks to Zoey after the reunion outside.)

Dakota: It wasn't painful at all; I don't even remember anything about it! All I know is that once I woke up, I had my same blonde hair and human skin tone. After that, I put on some clothes, slept in a nice bed, doctor's orders, and then voila! Here I am, Zoe- in one, normal piece.

Zoey (warmly): That's amazing, Dakota. I doubt I could say this enough, but it sure is wonderful to have you back here again!

Dakota: Awww, thanks! (They hug.) Being a mutant was cool I guess, but the human me sure is preferable, personally.

Zoey: …yeah. I kind of agree, but it's not like you could've controlled it or anything, right? Although your mutant form was kind of cool- you were still the Dakota we knew, albeit slightly different. (Both laugh.)

Dakota: Right, right… You know though, it kind of taught me a lesson about life, kind of…

Zoey (curious): Really? It did? What would that be?

Dakota: …well, it's that looks (overdone moral alert!) don't ALWAYS matter. Sure, they do for a good portion of reasons, but you really can't be concerned with that kind of thing all the time…you can't believe that in your heart, someone would love you less for looks being different. (She blushes, which Zoey understands.)

Zoey: Oh, Dakota. I'm sure Sam had just as much affection for you when you were mutated as you are now! Any qualms you may have had can be put to rest, trust me. Now, that was indeed a very good lesson in life you just explained- people at my school should learn it.

Dakota: Indeed it is, my flowery friend. And I hope they do, too! (Just then, a knock on the door is heard; Zoey goes to answer it rather quickly. Mike is the one outside it, thankfully.)

Zoey: Oh, hey Mike. I guess you're headed over yonder? (She points to the other cabin.)

Mike: Yeah…I am. Fortunately though, it doesn't mean we won't be able to still talk and hang out or whatever. (He gives her a wink.)

Zoey: That's true. Anyways, have a nice time…and sorry you have to deal with, well, you know who… (Mike nods, with a slight grimace.)

Mike: I know…not as much fun there with the dirty rat. Good thing it won't be long, though, before he's gone for good. Right? Right? Zoey? (She looks behind Mike, and sees Scott holding a note- it says "MEET ME BEHIND THE CABIN IN TEN MINUTES". His smile is incredibly wicked.)

Zoey: …Huh? Oh, OH, right. You do have a point there… (She smiles.) I suppose it won't be so bad.

Mike: And right you are. Anyways, see you later Zoey! (He turns and leaves to head over to the other cabin.)

Zoey: Bye! (She waves, and then closes the door behind her.)

Dakota: Mike seems really nice and caring, Zoey. (She puts her hand on the redhead's shoulder.) We're both lucky to have boyfriends that are genuinely nice people, aren't we?

Zoey: I know, you're right…it'd really be a lot harder to put up with everything without them… (She sighs, collapsing on her bed. Dakota raises an eyebrow.)

Confession Cam

Zoey: Is it bad that I'm this bummed over Mike going to the other cabin? I mean, it's not like he's going away forever- I'd hate to seem too dependent on him in front of the audience. But every little thing seems to get me down…maybe I'm just anxious over the whole ordeal with….…yeah…

(Static)

Dakota: I can see it in her eyes; Zoey has something bothering her. Us girls can tell when all our fellow "sisters" are feeling down. It could be something to do with Mike, but I don't want to assume anything. After conquering depression earlier in my life, I want to make sure my girlfriends aren't in any distress; I hope Zoey feels like she can trust me.

(Static)

Mike: I've never liked moving days. While this isn't exactly comparable to a real-life move, something about it isn't very easy to handle. I know I'll see Zoey again later; I'm not leaving her forever. But I just can't shake off these feelings of anxiety…

End of Confessionals

Guys Cabin (Formerly Rats Cabin)

(Brick and Sam go to help Dawn back her bags, as well as say goodbye.)

Dawn: Hello boys, how are you doing?

Sam: Oh, we're fine Dawn. We just wanted to help you out before you join the other girls. Sucks that we won't share a cabin anymore.

Dawn: Aw, don't worry Sam. I too enjoyed being in the same cabin with you- despite not being in the same room. (Sam chuckles at this.)

Brick: Of course we would not, Private Dawn; that'd be highly inappropriate.

Dawn (teasingly): Oh would it, Mr. "Alone In Here With Jo At Night"? (Brick immediately blushes a darker shade.)

Sam: Oooooooh, ZING! She burned you, dude.

Brick (bamboozled): I, um, we just were talking strategy! That's all…I swear! (Sam pats him on the back.)

Sam: Aw, we kid you man. We're just having some fun at your expense, no worries. We all have that someone, too.

Dawn: Sam is right. That is a blessing we all must cherish. Interestingly, Sam is the only one of us whose lover is still in the game…though technically she was voted out earlier.

Brick: But we won't eliminate her, so no worries.

Sam (smiling): Thanks, buddy. So, the three of us…we're an alliance, right?

Dawn: I would say yes, we are. I feel a powerful loyalty to both of you; being the final three would be ideal.

Sam: Sure! I guess though that'd mean that Dakota would-

Brick: Hey, it's all in good fun, Sam. We won't vote her out if you don't want us to…I could quit at the final four, so you, Dakota, and Dawn could-

Sam: Oh no no no no, wait…you don't have to do that, man. I think that as long as everyone likes each other, it doesn't matter if we vote each other out and stuff…it's just a game, so you don't have to fall on your sword for my girlfriend. It's cool….although I wouldn't mind Dakota going to the final four with us.

Dawn: Then it's a deal! I'm more than happy to do that with you all. (They all put their hands in together, and shout…)

All Three: RATS TO THE END!

Sam: There we are! We've got it going on now. I'll inform Dakota of this development later, guys.

Brick: Good. (He then turns around.) Looks like we're almost done packing your stuff, Dawn.

Dawn: Thank you both; I would have done it myself but I'm glad you were able to help.

Sam: Hey Dawn, where are your other clothes? I only see a few pairs of that same sweater, skirt, socks, and apparently underwear that I guess you wear. Why's that?

Dawn: Oh, I only need day clothes. Saves space in my suitcase for clothing.

Brick: Don't you have pajamas? Or an alternate outfit for relaxation?

Dawn: No, not really. I just sleep in the nude. (Brick and Sam just stand there, eyes wide, trying not to think dirty thoughts.)

Sam: Um… (He's trying to stop a bloody nose from coming on.)

Dawn (innocently): Sam? Do you need a tissue, or- (Suddenly, a very abrupt and loud knocking on the door is heard.)

Scott: Hello! Can someone unlock the door, please?

Sam: Oh great… (As Dawn hands him a tissue, Brick goes and very reluctantly unlocks the door, allowing for Scott and Mike to enter.)

Mike: Hey guys, what's happening?

Brick: Greetings, Mike! We weren't really doing anything at all; just helping Dawn pack up to join the other young women.

Dawn: And you all were very helpful, too. I appreciate it very much. (She looks at Scott, and then shudders ever so slightly, unable for the others to notice it.) But I must be on my way; it was a great deal of fun being in this cabin. Bye, everyone! (As the others see her on her way out, she gives a light kiss on the cheek to Brick, Sam, then Mike as she leaves. As she's about to head out the door, she sees Scott leaning in his cheek for a kiss; she simply swats at his face, and then exits.)

Scott: OW! Damn it, where's my kiss?

Sam: I think she only gives those to nice guys, dude.

Scott: Oh screw off, Lardo! (He angrily throws his stuff on one of the bottom bunks, and then storms out.)

Mike: He just got burned. BAD.

Brick: Is he always this temperamental?

Mike: You'd be surprised, buddy. You'd also be surprised at how absolutely hilarious it can be.

Confession Cam

Scott: Well, screw that cow! I don't need her kisses anyway; I've already found an easy way to get some sugar from a girl. Speaking of which… (He gets up to leave, but slips, and his fist goes into the toilet, landing in the bottom.) OH MY FUC- EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!

(Static)

Brick (nervous): Must not think of Dawn naked…she's one of your friends…you love Jo…you are a gentleman…...think of Jo naked instead…

(Static)

Sam: Dawn sleeps in the nude? Please don't tell Dakota I said this, but that's kind of hot! I won't think about her that way though; she's my friend. I'm sure Cameron will be pleased when he finds out, though. On the other side of things, we now have to bunk with Scott. Again. At least this time he's in the stark minority. On the bright side though, I have an alliance! A majority alliance, no less. Any smart reader probably knows what we're planning…did I say reader? I mean viewer. Why'd I say that?

(Static)

Mike: Another day with Scott is another day with a headache. But it doesn't matter either way- he's no threat to me, or my friends. If Jo were still here, she'd smack him silly…or even smack him serious. It's actually kind of scary to think what she'd do to him…oh my god…OH MY GOD…! Sorry, I'm just a very visual thinker…yeah, you could beat him, Jo.

(Static)

Dawn: We're all very lucky; see, each living creature has a counterpart somewhere on Earth that is the most fit to be his or her monogamous partner…that is what I believe. And to most of our luck, we've found a very fit person on this show to meet our needs for love…not just physically, but emotionally and also spiritually. Gaia has told me that my path to enlightenment involved an acquisition of a partner who's skin is opposite of mine, but heart equally pure…you two know who that is, and I aim to make our relationship continue gradually even after the show is over, and his ingenuity combined with my natural knowledge of the Earth and its creatures make us able to understand everything about the way the world works, and what our place in it is. From birth I knew I loved the outdoors, so much that I had built a tree house that I call my sanctuary, which is where I pray, study, and even sleep at times. The animals near my home know me very well, and each has a name- Berry the chipmunk, who's favorite time of the day is when I come home from school…he brings me some nuts as if they're a gift for me to consume, as if he were my caretaker. He's so sweet. Then there's Aaron the woodpecker, who, whenever I pray to Gaia, searches through my hair with his beak to groom it, and pick out any bugs…not that I hate bugs, but it's what Aaron does. It's very helpful. And then there's Daniel the rabbit, who seems to have more and more little baby bunnies every year…he's very popular with all his ladies. Such a typical one, carrying on his genetic code as every animal does instinctually. Those are some of my animal friends, and I must say they really are pleasant gifts from Mother Nature. While I have some friends at school, most of them aren't in my classes and I often am unable to relate to most people; they're confused by my beliefs, but also tolerant too. I guess you could say I'm very good with people in a different way than you'd expect. The girls I have no trouble with usually, unless they're the ones who are exclusive in their social cliques. But I do not blame them because it is natural for some people to stick with a certain group because that is very comforting to them…and I understand it completely, but sometimes they are not kind to outsiders of that group. It is like they are an oligarchy, ruling over the masses in their educational institution. Alas, it creates problems for them later in life, since they cannot adapt to other people. So it's more an issue with them than with others. As for boys, most seem to get along with me VERY well. Some due to my physical features…I must admit that my breasts are sometimes a standout when I wear certain shirts or tops. Even this sweater may show them off. I think that God gifted me with them along with a decent number of curves, but do not get me wrong; I am not full of myself in terms of looks. I can be objective with any analytical aspect of myself, really. So back to the main subject; yes, boys like me for physical things (oh those horn dogs) but also appreciate my advice and kindness. Most girls in high school are either too shy or too mean, but I am neither. And I was never romantically involved much…most of the males I've met were not worthy. That is, until Cameron came along. I've never repressed my feelings about male humans, but they didn't signal off strongly until Cameron started to become my lover. He's this very intelligent, kind, lovable person that is much alike me in ways that I admire. We are different in many ways; he is a boy; I am a girl. He is black; I am white. He is a man of science; I am a woman of nature. He was sheltered, and I was the opposite. But we both are able to see those traits in each other that are both appealing and of good values. Gaia has said that she thinks highly of him in many ways, as which I do too. And he has explained truthfully to me in all the ways he finds me to be a wonderful partner (she blushes). And bringing this discussion in full circle, that's my story of having the person that I am perfect for. What if I hadn't been on this show? Would my perfect match be someone else? Would I have met Cameron outside the game? Is an alternate reality possible? Personally I believe Gaia, my goddess and guide, would have found a way to bring us together nonetheless. But the way things have happened so far, even with people and things that I don't like having happened, I would never change a thing. Cameron is the guy I love, and the universe has lined up in a way perfect for me. And for that, I thank Gaia. I thank God. I thank…the universe. It is love. It is life. Also, I don't ALWAYS sleep in the nude; I was just saying that I did to see the reactions of Brick and Sam. It was so cute! Factually though, it's-

(Static)

Chris: To the viewers of Total Drama; this confessional lasted a total of six hours. Dawn ranted forever about the divinity of the human race and its alignments in events and yadda yadda, whatever. We promise never to let it happen again. We are very sorry.

(Static)

Scott: Oh, and by the way, I totally heard Dawn when she said she slept in the nude. That is so HOT! If only I could see it for myself somehow…hmm…nah, I've got better things to do than that…for now…

End of Confessionals

Meanwhile…

Girls Cabin

(Dawn walks up to the cabin and enters, greeting Zoey and Dakota.)

Dawn: Hey, girls! You both sure kept this place clean! (They all go and hug Dawn immediately.)

Dakota: You're here! We're going to have so much fun together as roommates!

Zoey: I know! We can play games, talk about girl things, and…well, forgive me for clichés, but it'll be like a big sleepover!

Dawn: I've never had one of those, actually.

Dakota: Really? Me neither, to be honest.

Zoey: …well, I haven't really had a real one either. (All three think, and then meet eyes.)

Dakota: Why don't we have a sleepover later? Like, after everything today and stuff?

Zoey: Sure! It'd be a good thing to try, since apparently none of us have done it.

Dawn: Well isn't that funny? Somehow none of us have ever done that before!

Dakota: Yes, this may be a minor subplot but we'll do it! I hope we're not put through too much trouble in the challenge, whatever it may be.

Dawn: As I've said, many things in the universe happen due to extremely special circumstances, and are thus very rare…this is one of those times.

Zoey: …what? Oh, you mean how all of us somehow never had a sleepover before…yeah, this is weird. But I love it! Good thing we're all friends, as well. (She looks at the time, at the door, then at both the two other girls.) Well guys, I'm going to go brush my teeth in the washrooms…I'll be right back!

Dakota: Okay then, pal; we'll be in here, so you know where we will be the whole time! (Dawn sits, thinking about something.)

Dawn: How oddly out of character…I've never heard nor seen Zoey do that.

Meanwhile…

(Zoey walks out of the cabin, and looks around several times before heading back behind the cabin. Soon enough, she sees the person who's expecting her waiting, whittling something.)

Scott: You made it- that's good. Glad you knew which cabin, too. That's even better. (Zoey frowns.)

Zoey: Hey, listen…I was thinking, could you please not make me call you "Daddy"? It's just too…awkward. Please? (Scott circles her like a shark, contemplating her suggestion.)

Scott: I don't know now, dear…technically I can make you do anything and submit to anything I make you….… (He comes up from behind her, one arm around her waist, and then gently wraps his hand around her neck, stroking it with his fingers.) ….…buuuuuuut I suppose I can let that one provision slide. Not like you're staring in a porn flick or anything…though I wouldn't say you're in a much better position than that.

Zoey (annoyed): Gee, thanks, "master".

Scott: Anyways, here's the deal- help me win today's challenge, and I'll continue to keep your secret, well, secret. (He moves his other hand higher, right beneath her breasts.) If there's anything you win or attain that could benefit either one of us, give it all to me. If there's one thing I'm not doing, it's losing, and you're going to help me prevent that from ever happening. Got it? (Zoey feels his fingers try to go up her top; she promptly stomps on his foot, making him let go of her.) OOOOOOWW!

Zoey: Don't you dare go there, ya creep! I'm not letting you go that far!

Scott: Owowowowwww- you little bitch! (He grabs her shoulders, pushes her back against the wall of the cabin, and then leans in close.) You will not defy me! Because guess what? I OWN YOU! (She cowers a bit, afraid of what he might do.) If you ever, and I mean EVER do that to me again…I might not give you any more chances, as I am. Slip up too much for my liking, and I'll send your little secret to the world. (He shows her the phone again, making her think of what would happen if the photo were released to the world…)

Zoey: I'm…I'm…sorry… (He lets go of her.)

Scott (intimidatingly): That's better. Now, you did cause me bodily harm…so you'll have to suffer a…minor punishment for it…

Zoey (nervously): What…what did you have in mind? (Scott's eyes look up and down her body, thinking of a way he can do something dastardly to her.)

Scott (slyly): Hmm…just…just lean your back against that wall, and let me handle everything else.

Zoey: What do you mea- (He wraps both of his arms around her, one hand gripping her shoulder and the other on her butt, and pushes her against the wall of the cabin…exactly as he sort of said he'd do.) Scott…no…please, don't-

Scott: Shhhhhhh….…quiet. (He begins kissing her neck, which causes Zoey much shock- she is too afraid to resist, as she continually struggles to hold still while he does it over and over to her sensitive skin.)

Zoey: Please…don't…you're…making me…ungh… (He caresses her back and sides with one hand, and gripping her behind with the other, all while his kissing is nearly paralyzing her. While it physically feels good, this makes tears come from Zoey's eyes, as she feels completely overpowered and helpless.)

Confession Cam

Zoey (sobbing, her mascara running): *sniff* I can't believe he'd…make me submit to something…so…repulsive….….….…my body was screaming with pleasure physically, but everything else…felt incredibly disgusting and wrong…as it should've…

(Static)

Scott: Oh my goodness…Zoey is so HOT! Not only does she have the nicest boobs and a fine ass, but also her skin is just so…so…soft! Oh, and she smells nice, too. I wonder what Mike would say if he knew I was getting some sweet goody goods from his lusty gal pal…he'd be crushed! It's a nice vision in my head, to be honest.

End of Confessionals

(Zoey is sitting on a rock, mascara running, now that her "session" with Scott is over.)

Scott: Aw man, that was wonderful. You really did a good job there- I was very moved. You know, I like it when you kinda just, you know, stand there and let me do whatever I want to you…seems to me like you'd be a great wife someday.

Zoey (sniffling): You…you won't get away with this…

Scott: Oh my dear, precious Zoey…I already kind of have… (He runs his fingers through her red hair, and speaks in a mockingly comforting voice.) Now, just do as I say, and you won't have to deal with your precious, intimate moment be seen by millions. What do you say? (Zoey sniffles, and looks slowly toward him.)

Zoey: …Y-y-yes…sir… (Scott kisses her on the forehead.)

Scott: Good girl…I'm so happy that you're being such a cooperative little pudding-flower. (He walks away, much to her relief. Shortly afterwards, the intercom comes on.)

Chris (intercom): Attention campers! Time to move your fannies to the mess hall for today's challenge! Chop chop, move it, move it! See you in five. (He hangs up.)

Zoey: Never thought I'd be happy to hear him say that…

A Few Minutes Later…

Outside the Mess Hall

(The seven campers gather in front of the mess hall building, awaiting Chris's instructions for the challenge. Zoey had gone off and washed the mascara off her face before the challenge so people didn't see that it had been running. Soon enough, Chris arrives.)

Chris: Well, I hope everyone here has had their time to move cabins, rest up, and prepare for the action we've got planned for you today! Because there are NO brakes on the McLean Train!

Dakota: Blah blah blah…cut to the chase!

Chris: Oh come on, at least give me that one! (Zoey comes up to the group, but nobody acknowledges her arrival, except Mike, who pats her shoulder and smiles.)

Sam: Looks like she still hasn't forgiven you for making her go into a toxic mine then have her become a mutant version of herself- I'd still be mad too. (He clearly still is, however.) Just a hunch, though.

Chris: Gosh, okay, okay! Can we leave the past in the past? Anyways, as I was about to say, you teens have certainly brought in the ratings for this season! You guys are so popular, that apparently some of you are now more iconic than some members of the original cast!

Brick: Whoa, are you serious? But the originals of TDI are among some of reality TV's biggest legends! And you're saying we've surpassed them?

Chris: Weeelllllll…kind of. You guys certainly have made lots of drama and romance for the cameras this season, which is always a plus for viewers and production alike.

Mike: Why are you telling us this, anyways? We're not necessarily playing to be the most iconic "character" on the show or anything.

Chris: True, some contestants prefer to play for the win, and not to flaunt themselves in front of the cameras. However, as a small bonus of you all making the merge, I shall read off some of the new fanon pairings that some of our crazy Total Drama fandom has come up with! (The campers are silent, and look around at each other in confusion.)

Zoey: Uhhhhhh…what?

Chris: The fandom currently has a list of the top ten most shipped crack couples among the new cast, as well as some…interesting parties also having been thrown into the mix. Anyways, here is the top ten of you newbies currently shipped by fans…

Sam (whispers): Hey, where's he going with this?

Brick (whispering): I don't know to be honest…but I hope it has nothing to do with the challenge today.

Chris: Number ten is…Mike and Dawn! (Both people mentioned look at each other, then turn away, slightly embarrassed as the others giggle at their expense.)

Dawn: Heh-heh, that's really funny- both of us are taken, though, so it's a no-go.

Mike: Yeah, yeah! I mean, Dawn's very friendly and all, but, well-

Chris: Aw, lighten up you little squirts! You're acting like this is some sort of mandate- and it's so cute! So moving along, number nine on the list…is Brick and Zoey! (Once again, the two teens mentioned look a bit embarrassed by hearing their names.)

Brick: Wait, for real? I mean, Zoey's a nice girl and everything, but I am obligate to stay faithful to Jo by-

Zoey: Oh, don't worry Brick; he's just messing with you. (She lightly slugs his shoulder.) And I know you wouldn't deviate from the thing you have with Jo…you're very loyal that way. And also, I think you're really nice, too. (Brick seems less nervous now.)

Brick: Thanks Zoey. I don't know what got ahold of me; it seems to be a little mind game that he's playing on us.

Chris: Our eighth fanon couple is Sam and Jo! (All eyes are on Sam now.)

Sam: Wait, huh? I mean, gosh, that one seems completely out of left field man…I know we're friends, but what do we really have in common?

Chris: Here's one of the blog entries verbatim- "Both of them are soooooo in denial- Jo is such a closeted nerd that it's painfully obvious whenever they're together. She always smiles when she's near him! And Sam can never keep his eyes off her whenever they're in a shot together!" (Sam looks to be a bit creeped out by this.)

Sam: Does it seriously say that? They're talking about us as if we were some kind of…of…cartoon characters! Well, at least everyone here knows the true story.

Chris: Hey, it's their incoherent words- not mine.

Brick: No worries Sam. Nobody's coming after ya, especially not me. (He fist-bumps with Sam.)

Sam: Thanks buddy.

Chris: Number seven, B and Dawn! (Once again, Dawn is blushing profusely.)

Dawn: N-no, see, I've got a boyfriend already, and I- (Sam pats her shoulder gently, which calms her.)

Chris: There are some fans that seem pretty angry over that one! Wonder why it's got such a large following?

Scott: You know guys…it seems like Dawn sure has a thing for those blacks…am I right? (From out of nowhere, an electric bass hits Scott in the torso, sending him flying to the ground.) Oh JESUS that hurt! (Everyone looks over to see Chef snarling.)

Chef: Now don't you start bein' racist an' shit, boy! I ain't gonna let you be more despicable than you already is…SO SHUT UP FORM NOW ON, WHITE BOY! (He stands off to the side, fuming.)

Dakota: Thank you, Chef. We all needed to hear it said eventually! (Sam picks up the bass, and then strums it.)

Sam: Ba dum dum dum dum ba dum dum dum dum dum…

Confession Cam

Sam: Racist Bassist, anyone?

(Static)

Mike: That was just too perfect.

(Static)

Brick: Someone had to put the soldier in his place. Glad I didn't have to do it.

(Static)

Dawn: How dare he say something so…so…ugh! Scott is just an evil boy, I cannot tell you how black his aura is! Although I have been paired often with black males it seems…B was kind of cute before I got into Cameron…

(Static)

Scott (bruised): …You know, maybe I should just keep my damn mouth shut. Gotta remember to filter out the race talk in front of more "tolerant" people. Ugh…

End of Confessionals

Chris: Our sixth place couple is…Lightning, and….…Scott!

Scott: WHAT?! HOW?! (People chuckle at his expense, as he is nearly fuming over this.)

Zoey: I suppose there are a lot of yaoi shippers in the fandom, huh?

Scott: Why HIM?! He's such a stupid ni…nincompoop! (Whew, that was close!) And that's soooooo GAY!

Sam: Uh…so?

Dakota: Don't waste your time trying to figure it out, honey…he's just a bigoted idiot.

Chris: Can't believe I agree with you Dakota, but I do. I do. Anyways, fifth place goes to Brick and Dawn!

Dawn (flattered): Oh my, I guess I'm very popular in the fandom, aren't I?

Brick: Oh, I'll stay loyal to my beloved Jo now, trust me. However, Dawn is not a bad person to be fake paired-up with.

Dawn (flattered more): Thanks Brick. Glad you think of me as such…

Scott: Cheat! Cheat! Cheat! Cheat! Chea- OOOOWWWW! (Scott screeches as Brick bends his arm behind his back.)

Brick: QUIET YOU SQUALID SCUMBAG! SHOW SOME RESPECT! (He lets go, and then returns to his spot. His handling of that impresses everyone else.)

Female Intern (dreamily): Talk about eye candy…

Chris: Moving on now…the fourth place couple is Anne Maria and Cameron! (Not many people react to this too strongly, as neither person is present, but some comment on it.)

Girls: AWWWWWWWWWW! (Okay so there WAS a strong reaction.)

Dawn: That makes sense actually; if he wasn't my lover, then she'd probably be the next best thing; however, I know they're just friends. (A gasp is heard.)

Mike (as Vito): Awww right, dat playa! E's goin' be real jammin' wif dat fine piece a' work! (Mike turns back after gasping again. Some people are confused by this. Zoey is not, however.)

Scott: Um…okay?

Chris: Next up, finishing in third place iiiiiis…Chef Hatchet aaaand…Scott! (Both males named look horrified.)

Scott: ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEE?! But he's a…he's a…he's so-

Chef: Not. One. Word. (He narrows his eyes at the country bumpkin, making him shake in fear.) I don't quite like you either.

Scott: Um, okay! All words, letters, and comments to myself; get it!

Chris: Ah, that was golden. Second place, ladies and gents, is….….…Dawn, and Dakota! (Both giggle.)

Dawn (ultra flattered): Aw, me again? These fans are just too kind.

Dakota: Those silly gooses! I may not be a lesbian, but that's still kind of sweet- if I were one, Dawn would totally be my partner, believe me!

Dawn: Oh, you! You're such a sweetheart.

Scott: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Ki- (A giant drum is thrown at him, of course by nobody else than Chef Hatchet.)

Chef: Do you have any class, boy?! I mean, you've GOT the Internet! Use that instead of bein' a rude little turd!

Chris: So much drama, and the challenge hasn't even begun. Well guys, it's time for the last couple to be revealed. In first place is…oh my goodness; this could NOT have come at a better time!

Zoey: What? What is it?

Chris: You won't believe this, but…our number one pairing is…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

SCOTT! And…FANG! (Everyone takes a few moments to process this.)

Scott: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY ME?! WHY AM I PAIRED WITH THE FREAKS?! THIS SHOW HAS THE WORST. FANDOM. EVEEEEEEEEEEER! (Sam then sets up the drum, then plays on the cymbals.)

Sam: Tst tss tss tst tss tss tst tss tss tst tss tss tst…

Confession Cam

Sam: And it looks like Bummer Drummer strikes again! Booyah!

(Static)

Dakota (laughing uncontrollably): That was just…I can't even…wow…this show's fandom rocks…

(Static)

Mike: This may sound wrong, but…I take a LOT of pleasure in seeing Scott get humiliated like that. Is that wrong? Nah, I like to believe that what he's done is cancelled out by his punishment.

(Static)

Brick: I'm glad Scott wasn't paired with any girls. And you know why? Because he deserves NO woman! That lout is nowhere near worthy of being with a female on this green Earth, and by God if any girl was ever into him, I'd make them see otherwise.

(Static)

Zoey: I loved seeing Scott get owned like that! It was amazing! I mean, what does he have against people who are gay/lesbian? I have these two very amazing friends, outside of school of course, named Ginny and VayVay. They're actually unique in that they're one of the very few teen lesbian relationships I've ever known of to be so strong and genuine. People have bashed them so much simply due to basic intolerance and gender perceptions…most of the guys at my school would probably bully them mercilessly if they went there. I don't know if they're together still, but both are some of the most amazing people I'll probably ever know, and being gay didn't detract from that at all. So, it's nice when bigots like Scott are put in their place when they make those sorts of remarks about gay people. However…I still have to be his…well…"servant". I guess that's a bit of a bummer…

(Static)

Sam: …drummer. Felt like saying the word for no reason, just because I like it. Drummer. Heh! I did it again!

(Static)

Dawn: You know what? I rather enjoyed knowing the top crack couples. It gave us genuine enjoyment to hear them. Well…most of us anyway. (She giggles.)

(Static)

Scott: I'M NOT GAY! I DON'T LIKE CHEF! I ESPECIALLY DON'T LIKE FANG! WHY IS THIS FANDOM SO? DARN? EVIIIIIIIIIL?!

End of Confessionals

(After everybody collects their bearings following the reveal of the last fanon pairing, Brick speaks up.)

Brick: Um, Chris? With all due respect, what exactly was the purpose of all that?

Dawn (nervously): D-did they have s-something to do with the ch- challenge? (Everyone swallows, afraid of possibly being paired with someone in that way for the challenge.)

Chris: Nope! Of course, that would have been a good idea, but it was simply to make you all feel extra awkward going into the first individual challenge of the season.

Sam: So like, you mean we're more popular than Duncan and Owen?

Chris: As a matter a fact, yes! Funny you should mention, too…because today, we have another classic competitor here to assist us in the challenge! Iiiiiiiiiiiit's…DUNCAN! (Duncan is rolled over by Chef, who has him tied onto a dolly.)

Chef: Quit squirmin', you vermin! (Duncan mutters a few curse words under his breath.)

Chris: Duncan here owes me some screen time for skipping on Total Drama World Tour!

Zoey: What? He literally was around for like, half the season! He made it to the final five every time he played before; why does he owe you screentime? (Other contestants agree, murmuring.)

Chris (whispering): She's onto us, Chef…anyways, good 'ol Duncan is going to assist in showing everyone how the challenge will work.

Duncan: Eat it, McLean.

Chris: Sorry Duncan, but I really do like Stephen King's work too much to literally consume that book.

Duncan: …Umm…?

Chris: Well, you've promised to do as you're told in our agreement, so…Chef, let him go. (Chef unties Duncan and removes the guard over his mouth. The bad boy stands there for a second, gazing at his freedom; he then immediately bolts away.)

Duncan: HA! Suck a big one, Chris! Catch me if you caaaaaan! (He disappears over a hill; everybody just stares at the spot where he vanished.)

Chris: …well, I probably should've seen that coming. Oops! This'll be a minor setback…COURTNEY! (After a few moments, a disgruntled looking CIT comes up to him.)

Courtney: What? You just asked me to alphabetize your hairspray receipts; what do you want?

Chris: I have a little, erm, task for you to complete. If you do it, you can forget about organizing my financial records.

Courtney (agitatedly): That'd be a relief. What do I need to do, sir?

Chris: One of our guest stars cut and run, so we need someone to catch them. Think you can do it?

Courtney: Who is-

Scott: It's Duncan.

Chris: Scott!

Courtney: You mean you want me to go after that ruffian? Forget it, then! I'm not going anywhere NEAR that guy. (She begins to walk away profusely.) I'll be perfectly content with filing through-

Chris: Oh that's fine, then I assume you won't mind forgoing any pay that you may have had. (She stops, and turns her head slightly.)

Courtney: …Excuse me?

Chris: Yeah, you have to do what I say, or else I won't pay you squat. It's in the contract, you know. (She glares at him again, but then sighs, defeated.)

Courtney: Okay, fine! But you'd better give me a bonus if I catch him! (She starts to run off.)

Brick: Um, hey! He went the other way! (Courtney does a 180, then runs in the opposite direction.)

Courtney: Thank you!

Brick: You're welcome. (Once she is gone, Chris sighs exhaustedly.)

Chris: Okay, then! Now with that business out of the way, it's time to get to today's challenge! (He beckons to the mess hall.) Here's how it'll work. You will all head into the mess hall to search for keys! There are seven keys in total, each for one of you! Any key will work for any person, but all will have a different outcome on what you'll get for the challenge. When you get your key, return outside for the next portion of the challenge. Is that clear to you all? (Everyone nods.)

Mike: What are the keys for?

Chris: You'll see in time. For now, however, all that matters is getting a key, and hoping that it's the kind you want!

Dakota: What does that mean? Are you telling us that there are keys that will hinder us in the challenge?

Chris: That's something for me to know, and for you to find out.

Brick: So in other words, yes. (Chris ignores him.)

Chris: Take your marks, campers. Your challenge begins…now! (Everyone sprints towards the mess hall, hoping they'll get a good key.)

Confession Cam

Scott: I've got this entire thing in the bag. I'll just make Zoey to the ruff and tuff work, so that this challenge is a breeze for me! Whichever of the two keys she finds, she will give the best one to me. So long as she's in my control, I have nothing to worry about…in fact, I may have already broken her! I'm also counting on the fact that her vote is also Mike's…that way, I need only one more person to be on his or her side, and I'll be in control! Genius.

(Static)

Sam: The whole fanon couples thing was really weird, I think. But hey, it sure gave us all smiles! Although, really, Total Drama Fans? Scott doesn't deserve anybody, not even Fang, who'd kill him anyway. As much as this sucks to say, some people just don't deserve to be loved. Anyways, I like the sound of the challenge. I just fear it's more dangerous than Chris is letting on…

(Static)

Brick: Darn it, Duncan! From what I know, bad boys are not as popular compared to what many think. All he had to do was demonstrate, but even that is too much for him to handle. Poor Courtney also has to go after him, too. What did she or Gwen ever see in him? Anyways, I'm going to try and win this challenge today- if I don't, then hopefully Scott isn't the winner. I'd hate to see someone I like go over him, personally.

(Static)

Zoey: Scott will probably make me get his key for him…darn. Hopefully he doesn't make me do too many "favors" for him, either. It just makes me feel like such a slut when he wants to touch and feel me so much…*shudder*…

(Static)

Mike: Is this a challenge I can win? I'd like to think it is, due to the amount of abilities I possess with all my personalities and everything. If I win too much I'll be a threat though, so I'll have to think about how much I can during the challenge. The last thing I want is to be gone early into the merge…but with all the friends I have, I doubt it'll come too soon.

End of Confessionals

Mess Hall

(The seven campers enter the mess hall, and immediately search for a key, to which they currently don't know what function it'll serve.)

Brick (quietly): Hmm, I suppose the kitchen is the most likely place to have all of the good keys…lot's of hiding spots, yes… (He runs into the kitchen. Several people notice him and follow him in there as well. Only Dawn doesn't follow him.)

Dawn: While they go in there, I should probably look in here in case they're wrong. Besides, Chris won't start the challenge until we all have our own key…I'll take this slowly. (She searches behind some plants.) Nothing yet…but I'll take my time.

Meanwhile…

Kitchen

(The rest of the campers scour the back rooms and many cupboards for potential key locations. Mike is searching through a closet, Scott is rummaging through the dumpster out back, and everyone else is currently searching in several places, randomly choosing where to look.)

Brick: Not in the sink…not in the silverware drawer…

Dakota: Not in the dishwasher…

Zoey: Ugh, this is going to take forever! (Mike goes through more junk in the closet.)

Mike: Lot's of boxes…wait, are these all full of weed? (Out of nowhere, a giant roach pounces on his face, making him fall backwards out of the closet.) AAAAAGHHHH! (He tries to pull it off; Scott then comes back inside.)

Scott: Ha! Looks as if Mike is coming out of the closet! (A wooden spoon hits him on the forehead, courtesy of Dakota.)

Dakota: That's not funny! (She walks away, haughtily, while Scott reels from his mistake.)

Scott: Rats. Looks like I can't get away with that sort of thing anymore… (As he searches in new places, Sam is looking under overturned cups lying on a giant table.)

Sam: How small are these keys? They can't be too big, I'm sure… (Suddenly, something grabs his leg, and pulls him under the table.) AH! What the?! (A giant roach is down there, trying to bite Sam, but he manages to keep it from doing so.) HEY! QUIT IT! (He continues to fight it.)

Brick (shivering): F-F-Found one! It was in the f-f-freezer! (He holds it up in triumph, and then dashes back outside.)

Zoey (smiling): Aw, good for him. Well, time to find mine, if I can… (She notices Mike, who is still trying to pry the roach off his face.)

Mike: AAAH! Help! Someone! Zoey? Zoey!

Zoey: Mike! (Just then, Scott comes in with a garbage bag.)

Scott: Oh dear Zoey, could you please search through this for me? (She looks over at Mike again.)

Zoey: But Scott, I-

Scott: No butts! Do it, NOW. (He reaches into his pocket, and pulls the phone out about a third of the way.)

Zoey: NO! Okay, okay, fine…you win! (She looks inside, dreading every second of it.) Ew ew ew ew…

Mike: Mmmrrmmph! Zrreeyyy! (He finally frees his face of it, and tosses it forward. It just so happens to land on Scott's.)

Scott: Nnnnnnnngh! (He runs outside, swinging his arms in a frenzy of panic.)

Zoey (quietly): Thank you…

Mike: Ugh, why didn't she help me out back there?

Confession Cam

Mike: Seriously, what was that? Instead of helping me get out of trouble, she helped Scott. Scott! I mean, I saw it and all out of the corner of my eye, so maybe that wasn't what happened, but…what was keeping her from helping?

(Static)

Zoey: I hope Mike isn't too upset…he probably saw everything…

End of Confessionals

(Sam comes out of under the table- bruised, but victorious. He holds a key in his hand.)

Sam: Whew…got it! (He hums the Zelda "item get" theme as he exits the mess hall and goes outside.)

Dakota: C'mon, if I were a key…where would I be hidden? (She looks up at the ceiling, and then sees a glint of light through a hole in the ceiling tiles.) Maybe…if I… (She takes a broom, prying the tile above her open from its loose position. Sure enough, out falls another key.) Yay! Good thing I found one that wasn't somewhere disgusting…

Zoey: Good work, Dakota! That was super-sleuth of you. (After Dakota leaves, Zoey goes back to rummaging through waste.) Ew…

Mike: Hey, um…everything okay?

Zoey: …What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine…

Mike: Well, if you say so, Zoey. (He feels something in a bucket of soapy water.) Yes, got one! Hey, good luck, Zoey.

Zoey: Thank you! (As he leaves, Scott returns.)

Scott: Yeuch, stupid Mike and his dumb throws! Anyways, find a damn key for me yet?

Zoey: No! I can't find one anywhere! Maybe if you also helped, you'd find one, too.

Scott: Remember our agreement, though? You do as I SAY, no questions…but gosh darn, this is taking forever. (Out of annoyance, Scott swats one of the pots on the table onto the floor. After shattering, out comes a key, which is silver like the rest.) SWEET!

Zoey: See? All you had to do was-

Scott: Oh no you don't! I didn't find my key…it was God. (He looks up, raising his arms to the heavens.)

Zoey (to herself): You've got to be joking…hey, what's this? (She pulls out a small object from the garbage bag- it is a key, only this one, unlike the rest, is golden.)

Scott: Whoa! There's a gold key?

Zoey: Apparently, yeah. (After a moment, Scott smirks and looks at Zoey.)

Scott: …You need to give me that key.

Zoey: Oh, c'mon! But I found-

Scott: Say, is my pappy texting me? (Zoey realizes the implication of this, then sighs.)

Zoey: Fine. It's all yours, just…take it. (She tosses it to him; he in turn hands her his original key.)

Scott: Pleasure doing blackmail with ya…hahahahaha! (He runs outside.)

Zoey: Uuuunngh… (Sighing, she also goes outside.)

Confession Cam

Zoey: Man…once I finally had something that could've been an advantage, Scott makes me give it to him. Sadly, there's nothing I could really do about it…damn blackmail.

(Static)

Scott: My pappy once taught me something when I was little. He said, "If you can't win on the substance of an issue, just resort to finding a backdoor solution to getting your way." I honestly think it's been working pretty well for me so far!

End of Confessionals

Outside Mess Hall

(All the campers except for Dawn are now outside, waiting to move on to the next part of the challenge.)

Chris: Ugh, where is that girl? Chef, go find Dawn, please!

Chef: NO! You let those kids trash MY KITCHEN!

Chris: Chef, if you don't go get her, then-

Chef: Ain't gonna get no pay, yadda yadda yadda! FINE! I'll find her. You'd best be payin' me soon, though… (He goes in the Mess Hall to see where she is.)

Chris: If only he did it without having to be asked… (Very soon, Chef comes back with Dawn, who walks beside him as she exits the Mess Hall.)

Chef: Girl was hanging out near the ceiling of the cafeteria. Don't know why though.

Chris: Please tell me you got a key during all that, Dawn.

Dawn: Oh, no worries Chris- I found my key almost immediately…after everyone went to the kitchen, I saw a bulge under the rug, and knew it was a key right away. After that, I spent time with some of my animal friends. The birds felt like flying, so I spent some time with them on the boards near the ceiling. They had a lot of very interesting things to say…very engaging creatures…

Chris: O…okay. Well, the fact that you have a key is enough to get us moving onto part two of today's challenge! Everyone, please follow me… (He leads the seven teens over to what appears to be an enclosed lot…)

What will the campers do next for their first merged challenge? (Everyone knows already, so yeah.)

How long will Zoey be subject to Scott's perverse tyranny?

Which alliances will gain the most power in this game?

When will the roach infestation in the mess hall kitchen be dealt with?

How long does Mike have before his MPD goes a-wall?

And will the next chapter also take six months to f***ing come out?

Find out the answers to these questions next time on ReRevenge!

Note: There! Hope that was a good injection back into y'all before the next update. Anyways, looks like I can never be trusted with promises, so I will NOT make any guarantees as to when the next chapter will release. However, I will do my BEST to ensure the wait next time isn't as painfully long. I mean, some people were legit pissed by how long it took for this to come out. Despite that, I will assure you guys now I WILL NOT QUIT ON THIS FIC. It will be completed; it's just a matter of when. With all that in your minds, how was the first merged chapter? Like it? Love it? Neither? Animal? Vegetable? Mineral? Eh, I'll let everyone decide for themselves. Until next time though, see you guys around on deviantART and stuff!

-Eliminated:

Staci, B, Lightning, Anne Maria, Cameron, Jo

-Still in the game:

Brick, Dakota, Dawn, Mike, Sam, Scott, Zoey