Gorak is suddenly perky, as a normal radio DJ would be. The reason is fairly obvious: he has a new show, and it is much less stressful.

Hello everyone, this is Gorak on KJRD 98.4, your home for goblin-themed music, news, and talk shows, broadcasting twenty-four hours a day from Moria. The Dead Air Warning in tunnels 16, 26, and 27 has been downgraded to a Code Yellow, thanks to the brave and well-paid efforts of our ventilation goblins.

Tomorrow the King is expected to announce his new immigration policy. Although specific details are not available, it is believed that homeless orcs from Mordor will be able to buy their way in at reduced prices.

Those of you who listen to Radio Erebor may have noticed a bit of smugness from them recently. I will remind them that breaking a siege isn't the same thing as winning a big victory. After all, we broke their siege last time they came after us, and they still celebrate it as a victory. Of course, they killed our king that time, but we killed both their kings this time. Anyway, none of that matters, because the important thing is we hold the Mansion of the Dwarves and they don't. If that bothers them, they are welcome to drop by for a visit. We'll take them, Shadowfire or no Shadowfire.

Tonight at eight thirty, we'll be broadcasting live from the Learning Hall, where Dr. Hargrash will be continuing his five-part series on taking care of your money. Tonight's speech is called, "Diversifying Your Hoard through Mine Shares and Commodities Certificates." Don't miss it, folks.

In two days, KJRD will be hosting a feast at the station's Gathering Hall. They will provide food, games, live music, and ballots for the Third Annual Eriador's Best Radio Station contest. Vote early. Vote often. Bring friends.

This is Gorak, signing off from Moria - and guess what, the Eye isn't watching us anymore! Hah hah!

I expect this will be the last of the orc talk broadcasts - thanks for reading!