Conversations: The Secret's Out

A/N: This is pretty much a continuation of 'Always Breathe.' Helpful to have read it first but not absolutely necessary as long as you've seen 'Always'. I'd love you to read both my stories though, and would be eternally grateful for any reviews you might feel compelled or inclined to write.

Must mention the little bit of 'For Lovers Only' I borrowed – which by definition means I don't own that, nor do I own Castle.

Upcoming conversations will include Alexis, Martha, Lanie and eventually The Boys & Kate's Dad.

Chapter 1 – Rick & Kate

New lovers on their first morning-after... a situation usually plagued by awkward moments and often requiring sensitive management and careful navigation. There's morning breath, missing clothing, uncomfortable silences, the discovery of incriminating ointments or embarrassing prescriptions in the medicine cabinet and occasionally, there's overwhelming regret.

For Kate Beckett and Richard Castle, their first morning-after holds none of those things; well, maybe some mild morning breath. No, their first morning-after starts with gentle caresses, long slow kisses, soft moans, wide smiles and pancakes; because this is not your average morning after. It's been four long years in the making.

Neither of them can stop smiling, nor can they stop touching. Their hands and mouths roam freely before they get out of bed; they soap and shampoo each other in the shower; they dry each other after their shower; they playfully grope each other in the laundry room while retrieving Kate's clothes from the dryer; they stand pressed together with his chest against her back while they make breakfast; they feed each other mouthfuls of maple syrup-sodden pancakes; and they kiss, every chance they get because they've got four years worth of kissing to catch up on. It looks like the most perfect morning-after ever, and in so many ways it is; but there are conversations to be had, explanations and apologies to be uttered and plans to be made, and none of that can happen until Castle has his promised and much anticipated post-graduation lunch with his daughter.

"Why don't you just stay until she gets home?" Castle pleads against Kate's palm as he softly kisses each of her fingers, because he's not ready to let her go yet. They're at his front door as Kate prepares to go back to her apartment, with plans for him to join her there later so they can finally have the possibly difficult but hopefully reassuring conversation that they mutually avoided the night before.

"Great idea Rick. I'll just say, 'Hi Alexis, congratulations on your graduation and in case you're wondering what I'm doing here still in yesterday's clothes… well I threw myself at your father last night and he responded by shoving me up against that door you just walked through and I responded by shamelessly pressing myself against him before I dragged him into his bedroom, and we haven't taken our hands off each other since. Bye.'

Castle laughs hard then, the mood in the room suddenly lighter. "You've definitely got a talent for summarising. I might offer you a second job; writing the synopsis of my next book."

"Well, technically it would be my only job. As of yesterday, I'm unemployed. I resigned Rick…" And there it is, a great big elephant in the room that they're going to have to ignore until later in the day. Castle appears appropriately stunned as he looks at Kate and he tries to read her, but his brow quickly furrows and he abruptly moves to his kitchen, reaching high into one of the wall cabinets and pulling out a gun.

"You said last night that he got away, and if you've resigned you don't have a weapon on you, so take this. It's legal, registered and loaded." He knows she has a gun at home but he doesn't want her entering her apartment unarmed.

"My cab will be here in a minute." Kate says as she takes the gun without argument and actually feels relief at the touch of cold steel in her warm palm. "Enjoy your lunch and remember, if Alexis wants to talk to me, nothing is off limits. No walls, no excuses and no lies. Not anymore."

"I love that you care about her so much." Castle says and hugs her to him fiercely. "I'm just going to be honest and tell her what's happened with you, with us, and we can fill in the blanks after we talk. I'll just make sure I leave out the good bits - don't want to scar her for life."

"Yeah well, I know a good therapist." Kate says with a smile. "I'll see you at my apartment when you're done and once Alexis is safely tucked up in bed, sleeping off her all-nighter."

"Go. You'll miss your cab." Castle says as he kisses her hard. "Keep my gun handy and get your back-up out of your safe as soon as you get home… and be careful."

Kate flings her arms around him, crashes her lips back to his and as she heads out the door, turns to him and does that lip biting thing he loves so much and whispers, "Always."

She means the word literally. She is, and will continue to be careful. She also means it in all its figurative ambiguity. It's their version of I love you.

Kate fills in the hours until Castle arrives by checking and double checking the security of her apartment, cleaning and loading her non-police-issue but legally registered gun, and packing away her murder board. Castle is the only other person who knows about the painstakingly assembled and incredibly detailed account of her mother's case, hidden behind the internal window shutters of her home. All the players and their details are there, including the recent identification of Kate's shooter, but the elusive team captain remains unidentified, and she now has to learn to be okay with that; but now Castle is going to be by her side while she makes some semblance of peace with it. She takes one last look at the mostly hand written notes and dog-eared photos and packs them all into a box - a somewhat symbolic step towards her future. She's boxing up one part of her life in preparation for ripping the brightly coloured wrapping from another box and throwing back the lid to see what exciting and wonderful treasures lay within.

She's storing the box in her safe (it's still evidence in a crime) when her phone beeps and she looks at the message.

What are you wearing?

That depends on who's asking. She texts back. What are you wearing?

Hopefully you in about forty five seconds. Open your door.

Kate flings her door open and there he is, in butt hugging jeans, a plain white v-neck tee and a well-loved brown leather jacket. He's carrying a bottle of wine in one hand and his shoes, with socks stuffed loosely inside, in the other. She holds the door open for him and once they're safely locked inside she hugs him.

"You come bearing gifts."

"Well gift, singular," he says as he puts the bottle of wine down on the coffee table and notices her eyes drop to the shoes in his hand before drifting to his bare feet. "Thought I'd save us some time and arguments later, and pre-emptively remove my socks."

They both laugh at their little in-joke, and Kate is relieved to be starting this conversation without a thick fog of tension in the room. The wine will also go a long way to softening the edges and Kate immediately pours them both a glass.

"Do you want to sit here?" Kate asks, indicating her couch.

"My preference would be naked in your bed, but we'd probably find it hard to concentrate."

"Castle."

"Sorry. Here's fine." He says and lifts his glass towards her. "But first, a toast. To truth, hope, love and new beginnings."

They clink their glasses together and both take a fairly hefty slug of the delicious Shiraz before settling onto the couch.

"How was your lunch?"

"It was good, Alexis was exhausted but be talked about everything. She was almost as shocked as I was when I told her you paid me a visit last night."

"Shocked as in surprised, or shocked as in angry?"

"Definitely surprised, with a large dose of concern, but not angry." Castle reassures her. "We had a really long talk and she asked lots of questions. I told her about you seeing Dr Bourke and she also knows you spent the night."

"Castle. I thought you were leaving out the good bits. As a girl, who was once a teenage girl, can I just say that having your Dad admit to you that he had sex the night before, falls monumentally under the banner of too much information."

"God Kate, I didn't actually tell her we had sex." Castle defends himself and Kate rolls her eyes. "Okay. I know. She's nineteen and she knows spent the night is a euphemism for had sex, but I didn't want to keep anything from her. Anyway, she knows we're here to talk things over and she might have some question for you at some point. She's worried about me, about both of us."

"She shouldn't have to worry about any of this." Kate sighs. "I'm so sorry Castle."

Those words bring forth a flood of memories from the previous night. Kate barging through his door, repeating them over and over as she breathed warm breath and soft kisses against his lips, and of tender words and whispered apologies as they lay together in his bed with the first vestiges of forgiveness settling between them.

"I think we've established that we both made some monumental mistakes and told some game-changing lies, and even though we both did the wrong thing for what we thought were good reasons or noble intentions, we can't ever lie to each other like that again, Kate. Ever."

They instinctively move closer then, until their knees are touching and Rick takes one of her hands. "We have to trust each other Kate and I do trust you, I think I always have. Just promise me you won't pull away or run if you get spooked, that you'll talk to me if you feel like diving back behind your wall."

Kate can almost hear the lump in his throat as Castle opens up and her eyes sting with the threat of tears.

"I can't promise I'll never get spooked, but my wall is in ruins and I trust you too, always with my life and now my heart. After everything that happened yesterday the only place I wanted to run was headlong at you Richard Castle and now I have no intention of looking back." They both smile before Kate adds, "And now that we're here, I'm slowing to a walk because I don't want to miss a single second of what's to come. Like I said last night, I just want you."

"Nice use of symbolism there Beckett." Castle grins as his suspiciously bright eyes bore into hers. "But as much as I like it, from now on can we promise to be open and honest and just talk everything out, minus the metaphors, symbolism and subtext that we seem to like so much – unless we're talking about sex or Nikki and Rook, cos that's kinda fun."

"I promise." Kate says with a chuckle and they simultaneously lean in. Her laughter is swallowed in a soft, sensual and highly arousing kiss; the intensity of it taking their breath away. "And if talking it out doesn't help, we can always fuck it out."

"Katherine Beckett. Language." Castle says in mock horror. It's not the first time in the last eighteen or so hours that he's heard profanities from her, but on the other occasions she was repeatedly moaning that single expletive with him inside her. "Where did that idea come from?"

"It was a line in a movie I just watched." Kate explains. "And don't try and tell me you don't love the idea of doing exactly that, of having angsty make-up sex."

"Of course I love the idea, but it means we have to fight first."

"We're gonna fight Castle, but as long as we fight fair and don't let the sun set on an argument, we'll be okay… Okay?"

"Okay." Castle says and leans in for another kiss, but just as their lips meet he notices the open window shutters.

"Your murder board is gone."

"Yeah, I just took it down."

"Kate," he breathes and doesn't know what else to say.

"I know I just promised to minimise the symbolism, but just like my resignation is a physical way for me to move away from my Mum's murder, taking down the murder board is my way of symbolically leaving that ugly, all consuming chapter of my life in the past, and moving on to my future… with you writer-man. You can help me write a whole damn book," she says with exactly the same Beckett smile that she gave him last night, just before she grabbed his hand and led then to his bedroom. "Sorry, couldn't resist a book metaphor."

He smiles back and this time it's his turn to take her hand and lead them to her bedroom so he can show her how much he wants her, how much he loves her.

"Wait, I haven't told you about what happened on the roof. I think we need to talk about it Castle. I need to talk about it, with you." Kate says, but still lets him guide her into the bedroom.

"I've already seen enough marks on you and noticed how sore you are today to take an educated guess about some of the things that happened. I'm going to kiss every one of those marks while you tell me what he did to you and how you came to be alive and well… and mine."

So he slowly undresses her and kisses every mark on her body, initially paying particular attention to the two scars that, unlike the most recent blemishes to her otherwise flawless skin, will never disappear. The bullet wound itself; deceptively small considering the devastation it caused, is puckered and rough against his lips and Castle feels his chest tighten at the memory of that horrific day. The larger scar, now a faint pink reminder of the emergency Thoracotomy that ultimately saved her life, receives similar attention as Castle runs his tongue along its length over her left rib cage.

With unhurried passion and infinite tenderness he laves attention on her bruised and battered body as she tells him all of it; what happened to her and Esposito, the physical toll, the emotional one, how Ryan saved her, the suspension, her resignation and finally, the decisions she made on a swing set in a thunderstorm that led her to his front door. And when she starts to cry he suddenly notices his cheeks too are wet with his own tears. They kiss the saltiness from each other's faces until those kisses become long and deep, sparking into a passionate melding of mouths and probing of tongues. They kiss each other and touch each other as they lay sprawled, both naked now, on Kate's bed, seemingly in no hurry until Castle glides his mouth over one nipple and slides his hand between their bodies, stroking the warm wetness of her folds.

Kate moans low in her throat and presses her hips into his hand. He lifts his mouth from her breast so he can watch as he touches her, gently at first, building her up slowly, gradually increasing the pressure and rhythm of his hand and she rocks her hips in perfect synchrony with it. Intermittent moans and whimpers continue to spill from her and Castle slides one finger inside her with the sole purpose of tipping her over the edge, but Kate resists; not the smooth slide of his large digit into her wet centre, but the calculated intention of his move. She doesn't want to come without him. Today they have affirmed that they are in this together and she wants them to come the same way.

Castle protests as she moves away from his hand, until she pushes him onto his back and straddles his upper thighs. She leans down to kiss him, almost as an apology for ruining his fun, but also as a promise that she's about to make it up to him. As she sits completely upright she drags her fingertips from his clavicles to his hipbones, pausing once to circle his nipples with the pads of her thumbs. He seems to like it and she files that away for future use. Next, as she rocks her own hips gently against his firm thighs, enjoying the subtle friction, she takes his large, smooth hardness in her hand and begins stroking him. She watches her own hand moving with firm conviction up and down his length, and Castle watches her.

He's enraptured; by her stunning nakedness, by the way her hips rock against him with warm damp pressure, by the look on her face as she stares down at his manhood so firmly in her grip and by those small but talented hands milking him towards…

His train of thought is interrupted then, as she shifts to lean forward slightly and raise her hips enough to slide him between their bodies and rub his hardness against her soft wetness.

"Jesus, Kate." He groans and roughly bucks his hips upwards.

"Soon," she whispers and bends down to kiss him hard, sliding her tongue into his mouth. The kiss is intense but brief and he whimpers softly when she breaks the contact, but when she sits up again, she positions his tip against her and with excruciating slowness, slides down his entire length.

A long deep moan fills the room as Castle's eyes drift closed and as soon as he feels their pelvises connect, he bucks his hips again and lets out what he would later admit is a very 'unmanly' whimper.

Kate puts her palms on his belly to encourage stillness and he does his damnedest to comply. She rises and lowers, over and over, stopping that motion intermittently to grind their pelvises together, loving the friction it causes against her clit. This goes on and on until her movements become more erratic and she throws her head back as they edge closer. Rick needs a more steady rhythm so he grasps her hips and regulates their pace and this elicits a long guttural moan from the wild-haired, wide-eyed woman perched above him. When he feels her inner muscles start to contract around him, he moves one thumb to start circling her clit. They are perfectly in sync in that moment and after only a few more shifts of their hips and swipes of his thumb, they are crying out together, her clenching around him and him spilling deeply into her.

Unable to support her own weight, Kate collapses onto his sweat-slickened chest and buries her head in his neck. They lay there for several minutes until she can't help the highly inopportune, and possibly mildly emasculating giggle that erupts from her at the feeling of him going soft inside her.

"Not nice to laugh at a man when he's down, Beckett." He says in a semi sleepy voice.

She rolls her eyes at his double meaning and as she shifts to lie beside him she adds one of her own. "Don't worry Castle, I love your soft side too."

"Too?" He says, suddenly a little more alert. He worries he might be about to cross the line since she hasn't actually said the 'L' word, but he can't help himself. "What other sides of me do you love?"

"I love all your sides Rick," she says, and there's that thousand-watt smile again as she lowers her voice and whispers. "I just love you."

He grins widely, reaches over to drag her back against him and kisses her hungrily. They may not know what outside forces or the universe have in store for them, but they know where they stand and they know that they're loved – those three little words are for always.

"I love you too."