11.

Waking up again was possibly the single most unpleasant experience Naoto had ever had.

It felt, for want of a better description, as if she was being wrenched back into her own body - which then shuddered back to life, leaving her coughing and choking and twisting, two pairs of hands holding her down against the ground.

Her vision was dark and her hearing muffled. She thought she could hear someone - Yukiko? - saying her name, telling her to calm down, but her muscles weren't hers to control. They lashed her arms out one final time, before she a cool hand landed on her forehead and her body fell limp. She couldn't open her eyes - but this time, she could hear the voices around her. Yukiko, Chie, Rise, talking over one another. Yukiko was telling her she'd be okay, Rise was saying something to Souji - meaning he was here too, that he must be fine - and Chie was—

Chie was talking to Kanji.

The sudden, uncontrolled burst of fury was a hot poker through Naoto's stomach. She couldn't recall ever being so angry: not at Adachi, not at Souji, not even at herself.

"Naoto?" His voice, this time, close to her ear.

She forced her eyes open. The bright light hurt - why was it sunny inside the television? - but she still saw his face hovering above hers, eyes full of concern. It almost made her sick.

"You okay?" he asked.

Her mouth felt thick with dust and her first attempt at speaking was little more than a hiss of air.

"Take it easy," Kanji whispered.

Idiot. It was his fault she was here, she remembered what he—

"Y-you had no right," Naoto finally choked out.

He frowned. "What?"

"I-I was supposed to die." That had been the ending. The way she'd compensate for her actions, put things right, and never have to think about any of it again. It would have been perfect.

Kanji jerked away from her, eyes narrowed and face creasing with anger. "Why? So you could be a martyr? The hell good would that do?"

The others were starting to stare. At least, Rise was. Chie and Yukiko were looking everywhere and anywhere else.

Naoto tried to push herself upright. "I told you, I told you, that was how it—"

"Stupidest shit I ever heard!" Kanji continued to rant over top of her, only serving to stoke her anger further. "You were just gonna give up 'cause you were scared to come back!"

"I knew what I wanted! Why would you ever—"

He grabbed her arm almost hard enough to hurt. "I love you, you dumbass, that's why!"

Naoto's mind stopped dead.

"I—you—" she began, then gave up, because there wasn't a single retort she had to counter that. Instinctively she shot s harp glare at Rise, who instantly snapped back to life and forced a smile.

"We're - we're gonna leave you both to it, okay?" she said. "Let us know if you, um..." The rest trailed off into nothing as she moved away, motioning Chie and Yukiko to follow.

Kanji, meanwhile, threw up a hand and practically attacked his hair with it. His cheeks were flushed crimson and he looked vaguely horrified with himself. "Dammit...you're really, really stupid sometimes, you know that?"

Until now, Naoto had been certain that whatever had happened between them last year had ended with her actions in December. Kanji had treated her well since her return, but she'd presumed that was out of pity. Nobody with any sense would continue to care for a person who—

She sighed. Nobody with any sense. The category had never included Kanji. "You - even after..."

"Yeah," he whispered. "Always." His fingers brushed unsteadily against her cheek. "And I-I don't even care if you don't feel the same because I woulda made you come back anyway."

Naoto glanced away. "Why? Why would you still—"

"Cause you've got good inside you. It got all screwed up, but it's there. You just proved that." He nodded to his left, where Souji now sat upright, rubbing his head. He was surrounded by the rest of the team, all chattering over each other. "And they all know it. That's why they cared if you made it back."

"But I - I didn't—" I didn't fix anything, because I didn't die.

It was beginning to sound less and less rational.

Naoto sighed. "I thought—"

"You think too much," Kanji told her firmly.

Then he sighed in turn and pulled her up into his lap – and, forehead pressed against hers, trailed his fingers through her hair. His voice was no more than a whisper. "I just wanted you back, y'know?"

Deep down, Naoto knew he wasn't just talking about today.

She swallowed hard. "I know."

Souji looked exhausted - but with Yosuke's help he was standing and there was a spark in his eyes Kanji couldn't recall seeing in months. They team were all crowded round him now, even Naoto, who Kanji was basically holding upright because she was too damn stubborn to let him carry her.

"This is gonna sound crazy," Chie said, "but Souji, you look a lot better."

Yosuke rolled his eyes. "Chie, he looks half-dead." Then he turned to Souji, one arm draped around his shoulder, and grinned. "But, yeah. I agree."

Souji chuckled softly. "Honestly, I feel like I've been run over by a truck. But at the same time, better. More alive." He looked at Naoto. "The same for you, right?"

Naoto nodded. Her fist was gripping the back of Kanji's jacket so hard he swore she'd tear it, but she was smiling slightly too.

"See? It all worked out, for both Sensei and Nao-chan," Teddie said. "And look! We cleared the fog!"

Kanji had actually had time to look around now. It was amazing; more beautiful than anywhere in Inaba. Sunlight everywhere, bright green grass and brooks trickling over rocks and stones and past multicoloured wildflowers. Maybe the TV world was always supposed to look like this? "Was this here before, Ted?"

Teddie shrugged. "I don't remember it. I guess so. A bear's memory isn't always that good, Kanji-chan."

"Can't believe you'd forget a place like this," Yosuke said, shaking his head.

Yukiko looked around, taking in the full vista. "We could come back here later," she suggested. "Make a day of it. Um, not right now, though."

"Yeah…I think Naoto and I are about to keel over," said Souji. "But we'll meet up in a day or two. Celebrate." His smile was tired, ragged yet relieved. "Were you able to hear Izanami's last words?"

Chie nodded, then frowned. "I could, at least. She had some really messed up ideas about what humans wanted."

"Humans are hard to figure out sometimes," Ted said. "But she got it even more wrong than I do."

"I don't know what she really wanted. I doubt we could even understand. But I hope she'll leave this world alone, for now." Souji looked at each of them in turn. "Thanks guys. I mean it."

There was a chorus of assent - no problem, it was fine - but Souji shook his head and grimaced.

"No, it isn't. I let her take control. I—" He quickly glanced at Naoto, then looked back at the others. "Sorry doesn't cut it - but I am."

"It's fine, man," Kanji told him. Because what else was there to say?

This time, Yosuke's grin looked a little forced. "Yeah. It's over now. Why think about it?"

Souji didn't look certain – but nodded all the same. "Let's head back. Teddie, can you find the way out?"

"Of course, Sensei!"

Ted led them across the grass, past a crystal-clear stream and over a slight hill. On the other side, they finally saw the televisions, still stacked in a pile in the middle of the grass. Yosuke was still hauling Souji along, and Kanji Naoto. Glancing sideways, Kanji saw Souji whisper something to Yosuke – and the two of them moved toward Naoto.

"I need to talk to you later," Senpai told her quietly.

"Of course," she murmured.

At first, Kanji pretended not to hear, and he'd have been lying if he said he wasn't jealous - but the way Naoto immediately looked up at him and squeezed his hand helped ease it away.

It was close to midnight when they spilled back out into an empty electronics department, a fact that immediately set Rise panicking about what her grandmother would say. She spent the walk back to the shopping district with Naoto and Kanji devising increasingly implausible excuses.

"I'll say that the elevator got stuck and I was trapped inside." She paused. "Or maybe that I got locked in a changing room and all the staff went home. Or that I—"

Kanji groaned. "Just tell her you were out with friends!"

"This is my grandmother, Kanji-kun. She's the sweetest, nicest old lady, unless you're me and you come home late." Rise shuddered. "Listen, I'm gonna run the rest of the way. Better not make it any worse." She smiled. "I'll come see you both tomorrow, okay?" With that she was gone, running away through the district.

"It's only a few streets further to her grandmother's shop," Naoto pointed out.

"Yeah. But it's Rise." Kanji glanced down at her. "And she's gone, so let me carry you."

Absolutely not. "I'm fine," she insisted, fighting off a third wave of dizziness.

He let out a quiet sigh. "Liar," he said - then pulled her off her feet and into his arms.

Naoto immediately kicked out. "K-Kanji-kun! Put me down this instant!"

"C'mon, I've been dragging you all this way! This is easier on us both, yeah?"

It was true, she supposed - but there was no reason to carry her, it was embarrassing and ridiculous and made her feel like a child and—

She sighed. Pride again. It took every ounce of effort, but she managed a quiet, mumbled thank you as she wrapped one arm round his shoulders.

"No problem," Kanji said as he pulled her closer.

"I just need some rest," she protested, then glanced down at her bloodstained shirt and winced. "And a change of clothing."

"S'fine. Ma'll be asleep. You'll be better tomorrow. Fit to talk to Souji."

Something in the way he said it - quiet, monotone, thoroughly un-Kanji - plucked at the edge of Naoto's nerves. "Kanji-kun…is something wrong?"

"No. Not really." He grunted. "Just - I dunno. If you wanna move out the store, hang out with him - there's a spare room at his uncle's house, and—"

Naoto raised an eyebrow. "With Souji-senpai?"

She swore she felt Kanji shake against her. "Yeah. You and him. You were all buddying up."

Oh.

This prospect wasn't one Naoto had previously considered, largely because she'd been unconvinced Kanji still held her in any regard. In retrospect, that had been foolish too.

She sighed. She'd been blind for far too long. "It - it isn't what you think. I promise."

"E-Even if it is, I don't mind. S'okay."

She gripped his shoulder more firmly. "Listen. Both Souji-senpai and I suspected something was about to happen, especially as our dreams worsened. We were keen not to involve the rest of you." She winced again. "Of course, things turned out rather differently."

Kanji grunted. "Then you're both idiots. We're a team, all of us. You included."

"Perhaps. But that was the extent of the matter. No more than that."

He looked back at her, eyes clearly nervous. Her hand moved to his jaw almost on instinct and brushed against the skin.

"...You sure?" he mumbled.

She stroked her thumb over his lips. "Positive."

For a long moment, he stared at her - then gave a weak smile. "Cool. Sorry. Really dumb to get jealous, I know."

"Yes," Naoto said simply, and pressed a quick kiss against his cheek.

By the next day, the fog was gone. It was all over the news and every time Kanji leant on the sill and looked out his bedroom window there were at least two camera crews in the street below.

"Idiots," he muttered. "Gonna be harping on this for weeks. Better warn Souji-senpai to dodge them when he comes over."

Sitting on his bed, Naoto just nodded. Sure, she was still tired, but she seemed distracted with it, even when he walked over and sat next to her. Not like she'd been before, just like she was thinking.

He nudged her in the side. "S'up?"

Her hand moved to the back of her neck and started smoothing down her hair. "I was thinking. I ought to..." Then she sighed. "I ought to return to my apartment soon. I will start to become a burden here."

Kanji instantly jolted forward. "Wh-What? You ain't bothering me!" He started twisting up the fabric of his shirt without thinking. "Having you here's awesome."

She rolled her eyes. "Not a burden to you, Kanji-kun. I simply do not wish to impose on your mother's hospitality."

Oh. Right. Naoto was proper about that stuff.

Kanji couldn't imagine Ma getting tired of Naoto. Well, okay, he couldn't imagine anyone getting tired of Naoto, which probably said more about him than Naoto herself - but dammit, he knew his own mother. "You kidding? She loves having you here! Always rattling on about how nice it is to have someone so well-mannered around." He sighed. "Usually when she's ragging on me."

Naoto reached a hand over and started absently untangling his shirt. "Well, you do provoke her."

"'Cause she's always teasing me. But - if you want t'leave, I'm not gonna—"

She grabbed his arm and gave him the kind of stare that made him feel ten centimeters tall. Must've been taking lessons from Rise. "No," she told him. "Of course I don't."

"Good." He couldn't help grinning. "You, uh, talked to your grandpa about it? Stayin' longer?"

She nodded. "Not yet. I still feel I should leave. But he was - surprisingly supportive of my coming here to begin with."

"He, uh, kinda suggested it. Sort of."

Naoto turned a vague shade of red. "...Oh."

"Yeah. I think he guessed that—"

"Yes, well, he is a detective," Naoto said quickly. "Let's change the subject. I would rather not envision my grampa knowing about my—" She made a small, unhappy noise and started rubbing the back of her neck again.

Kanji sighed. "S'okay. Ma figured it out in about two seconds. One of the conditions for you staying is that I'm nowhere near your room after ten at night." He winced. "'Specially after last time."

"She found out about that too?"

"It's Ma. She knows everything."

Naoto paused. "Not quite. I wonder if she would be so accepting of me if she knew the truth, everything that transpired last year." Her gaze dropped to the floor. "Quite understandably, Detective Dojima wants as little contact with me as possible."

"Can't blame him for that, man. But the others are coming round." He nodded. "Just 'cause things can't be the same as before doesn't mean they can't be good. You just have to make more of an effort, right? Don't brush 'em off."

When Naoto looked back up, she was smiling. It was slight, tentative, but the most genuine Kanji remembered in a long time. "Perhaps. You're quite insightful."

"Yeah," he said, then winked. "Makes up for being dumb."

Naoto just sighed and punched him lightly in the shoulder.

Like Kanji had expected, the media went crazy for a while - pulled all those quack scientists and pundits back on their shows so they could pretend they'd known this was all coming - but that died away after a week or two. Some of the people in town took a while longer to get back on their feet, especially the guys who'd really been hurting, the ones cowering in the streets, but pretty soon it was like the fog had never happened.

He said this to Souji, one day, who just smiled. "People can forget anything," he said.

Smart guy.

...fine, so Kanji was still kind of jealous. Nothing he could do about that. Souji was fifty times the man he'd ever be. But even so, maybe he was still good enough - and he was just as cut up as the others when Senpai left town a month later. Souji said he needed to think some things over, see his folks, all that stuff. Told them he'd be back in September. Rise pouted for a good half-hour straight when she first heard and Yosuke even longer, but they all went to see him off at the station. So did a bunch of other people: two jocks from the sports clubs, Ayane Matsunaga from Kanji's class, a chick he'd seen hanging round the drama room, and more still.

"I never realized Souji was so popular," Naoto muttered, sounding a little disgruntled.

Kanji elbowed her in the side. "Y'wouldn't like it if you were. Remember all those letters in your locker?"

She winced and went quiet.

Credit to her, she didn't hide at the back of the group when Dojima brought Souji and Nanako to the station. Just stood and watched quietly as Nanako clung to Souji's neck and begged him not to go, even though he'd be back in just a few months.

"You gonna do that too, Yosuke?" Chie whispered with a smirk.

Yosuke just grimaced and muttered something Kanji was pretty certain you shouldn't say anywhere near a kid.

Dojima was the one to coax Nanako off, in the end, and he shook Souji's hand. If he'd noticed Naoto standing nearby, he did a damn good job of pretending he hadn't.

After a few quick goodbyes to his other friends, the team made their way to the platform as one tight group – and beside the train, Rise pulled Souji into a hug. "You'll come back, right, Senpai?"

"And in September, like you said?" Yukiko added.

"Of course he will. Right, partner?" Yosuke forced a smile. "You can't leave me here alone with Ted and Chie. I'll go crazy before I even graduate."

Chie kicked him lightly in the shin. "Whatever, Hanamura." Then she turned to Souji. "But he's right, you've gotta come back. Don't forget about us, okay?"

Souji laughed. "Couldn't if I tried. You've all been amazing. This past year..." He trailed off, then grinned. "Well, I'm not into emotional goodbyes. But thanks, all of you. Even with everything that happened, I don't think I've ever been as…complete as I was here."

"Then don't leave!" Teddie looked like he was about to burst into tears, even after Yukiko wrapped her arm round his narrow shoulders.

"It won't be long, Ted. I promise. Just behave yourself." Then Souji turned to Kanji and winked. "You too, Kanji. No beating up biker gangs."

Kanji grinned back. "Eh, that got old."

"I will keep a watchful eye on him," Naoto said quietly, with a small smile of her own.

"Good. Take care of yourself too, Naoto. That goes for all of you." Then the whistle sounded. "Okay, time to go. See you in September." He gave them one final, warm smile. "Let's hope the next visit is quieter, right?"

They filtered home in small groups after Souji's departure. Naoto still wasn't certain what to think. The summer, she suspected, would be odd for them all without his presence; particularly for the others, who'd known him far longer and far better.

She would make an effort to know him too, after his return. They'd spoken only briefly the day after his return, but they'd reached some sort of primitive understanding; that they'd shared experiences the others couldn't comprehend, and owed each other their lives. Souji had saved her when she'd first betrayed the team, by refusing to leave her to die. In turn, she had given her life for his. He'd even apologized for what had happened, over and over, as if Naoto didn't owe him more apologies than she could ever deliver.

He was superior to her in so many ways, but learning to accept that was crucial - and perhaps, Naoto thought, glancing up at Kanji as they walked back to the store, she was more than just the sum of her abilities.

She'd had time enough to think about her actions; four months, now. Even if she couldn't truly fix her mistakes, and that knowledge hurt, running away - martyring herself for no reason other than her own cowardice - would have been unjust to everyone she had harmed. Even to herself, and especially to Kanji.

Quietly, she slipped her hand in his and traced her fingers across his palm.

"You were right," she told him softly. "I was a coward before. Living with my actions is harder." She nodded. "But I will do it."

Kanji glanced down at her and smiled. "Not just you," he said, free hand tipping up the brim of her cap. "Us, right?"

Naoto gripped his hand tighter - then smiled back, and hoped.