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How we're Remembered.

Two-shot.

I walked up the sloppy embankment with familiar easy, feeling my heart becoming heavier with every step I took, until I reached the clean headstone with two potted plants either side, his name written down it's surface, and I had to laugh at the irony; I owed that man everything, yet I only learned his first name on the day that he died. I ended up chocking on that strangled sound that escaped my lips as I pushed it down, lowering myself onto the grassy plane while I placed my palm on the marker.

"Hello, old friend" I greeted with a coarse voice as I swallowed "sorry, I haven't been around in a while" it had been ten years since he past; to start off with, I'd come whenever I needed to, nearly everyday, and as the months past that grew to weeks, until I would only come on the twenty-third; the date he died. It's been five years since my last visit, and I can't offer up any excuse; I just got swept under with my job and family, and if I was being really honest, it would be because I just didn't want to see him.

I always feel guilty, now more then ever as I've grown and have been reminded just how much Yuzuru Otonashi lost out on; a girlfriend, a wife, love, a child, the joy of watching that child grow and the feeling of settling down, he'll never have that. And every since that day, I've asked myself why.

Why wasn't I paying attention?, Otonashi was focusing on us, and I felt disgusted when I learnt just how badly injured he truly was, and how badly he had been neglecting himself; how badly I had been neglecting him, I should have looked after him better, because God knows he wouldn't have, he didn't.

It was three days after we were found, at the hospital, when I would learn that Otonashi had been bleeding internally since the crash, and that he must have been experiencing discomfort; and that's what hit me the hardest, not only had he died, but he had been in pain while continuing to do his job.

I also found out that his only family, his little sister had also died and that there was no one to release the body to, luckily the train derailment had gotten a lot of press, as well as Otonashi's story, as he would be famed as the hero who saved the current survivors, for without him everything would have been a lot worse, far worse. So people started sending in money; I had never really seen anything like it, he had touched everyone's hearts, so much so that he was honoured with the title he was working towards; the title 'doctor', that was written on his headstone.

A lot of medical staff involved commented on well he did, but none of us needed to be told that; as soon as we were free and the news was broken to us, there was understandably not a dry eye, everyone who had been trapped in the tunnel had come to his funeral and paid their respects; I still didn't think it was enough, because that accident never should have happened.

All those people shouldn't have died.

He never should have died.

Which was something that was made painfully clear when the press started to name and shame the people who were meant to be cleaning the tracts; a lot of people were fired and a lot of the management were forced to quit, I became pretty bitter about it, but that has long since past and I've made my peace with it now.

Sighing, I rub the back of my neck with my free hand "I…I got a promotion at work last week" I smile slightly, trying to picture his face as it had become fuzzy over the years, and I have to wonder, would he be proud?, a few weeks after I was released from the hospital I poured myself into my studies; I was never stupid, but I decided after nearly dying that I'd do something with my life; I wasn't going to waste it. So I pushed myself, I dragged myself through high school and college until I finally started training to be a teacher.

I guess I have him to thank for that as well, how I wish I could. Man, I must be getting old; reminiscing like I'm at the end of my journey - how knows, I'm sure he didn't think that day was going to his last, when he stepped on to that train; I never knew how unpredictable this world could be until then.

"I'll keep my promise to you" I murmur as I lean forward and allow my forehead to lean against the headstone "I promise to remember you" it's the only thing I could do after you had gone; to make sure that your memory would live, if anything.

It wasn't much, and I wished I could do more.

"Honey" a soft voice called from over my shoulder, my ears perked to the familiar tone as I gradually move my now stiff muscles, until I'm sat back on the grass, looking back to see my wife and son, standing hand-en-hand, but five feet away, the little boy looked at me curiously; he doesn't understand death, and he doesn't understand loss and sometimes I envy him, while others I want to protect him from the truth that surrounds life.

"Daddy?" he asks, as he tilts his head, untangling his fingers from his mother's, as he totters over to me, looking at me for a moment before he plops himself down on my lap "what are you doing?"

I chuckle, ruffling his thick hair "I was talking to a very important friend" I say, he looked back at me before he followed my line of sight, until they fall onto the headstone, silence following a I vaguely register my wife put her hand on my shoulder.

"Daddy's important friend's a-a stone?" he asked, and I smiled down onto him sadly, before I shake my head, his eyes glint with interest as his lips slip apart. He turns six in a few days, and they were true when they say they grow up too quickly, too soon; it feels like it was just week, that he was but a baby.

"No, he's sleeping now, I come here hoping that he'll hear me" I reply, after a moment of thought of how to phase my words, the hand on my shoulder squeezes in comfort as I once again open my mouth "this is the closet place that I can get to, to be near him" I murmur, my face falling for a moment before I try to push my muscles into a smile.

"Do you know that your named after him?" I inquire, though I know I've never mentioned it, I just wanted to get away from the subject, and it seems to work as all the unasked questions that he was preparing to voice are forgotten with the new found knowledge in it's place.

"I-I'm named after daddy's important friend?" I nod. 'Yuzuru' means to convey, which had always got me thinking what my little boy will bring to the world, what he will chose to 'convey'. It had been prefect, and it suited both of them perfectly.

"My friend was really clever" I tell him, speaking in a way that he'll understand "he was a kind man…" I stop momentarily as I wonder why I keep describing him as a 'man', he was only seventeen; he never made it that long; maybe it was because he seemed so far away…

"He was doctor, and save a lot of people, and made them feel better" I finish, flicking the boy's nose after a few seconds of looking onto his awestruck face; he blinks out of it and chortles the most endearing sound "he was the best person I have ever met, which is why I named you Yuzuru" I tell him as he breaks into a huge smile.

"R-really?" he questions, as he oozed excitement and pride, and I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"Yes, because you're the best son I have" I tell him as I faintly hear my wife giggle at us.

"I'm your only son" he retorts with humour and I fake pain, though it soon becomes real with his next questions "daddy…when's he coming back?" I should have expected this; who wouldn't want to meet the person their named after?

"I come here to talk to him, but he lives in here" I reply, while tapping my heart.

He lives on, in the people he touched. He lives on in the people he continues to save even now; with the organs he gave to people he had never met.

Yuzuru pouted at that "Then I can't meet daddy's important friend?"

I half frown and half smile "Maybe one day, but I'll probably be meeting him before you do, and if you beat me to it then I won't forgive you" I taunt childishly, though in all seriousness, I mean it; I don't want him dying before I do - I don't want to bury my son "time to go" I inform after a minute or so in silence, picking the boy up along with myself as I get up off of the ground; my legs are sore and somewhat dead as I straighten myself - how long was I sitting there?.

Straddling Yuzuru to my hip, I carry him over to the headstone as I place my hand on it one final time, in ways of a goodbye "I'll visit again soon" I say as I bend down, my son leaning a little out of my grip as he mirrors me and pats the surface.

"Bye bye" he says, making a lacklustre smile appear on my face, before I nod my head and let my fingers linger on the cold surface.

"Goodbye" I murmur, because it's not my time yet, nor is it Yuzuru's, and as I turn around while carrying my son, I rejoin my wife, who had been watching intently, and take her by her hand, which she squeezed, and continued to walk away.

Because it's not my time yet, not yet. So, Otonashi, where ever you are, I want you to know that I haven't forgotten, where ever you are, and that I hope that your happy…

That's all I can wish for you.

Because it's not my time yet…

A/N -

*Sigh* This was depressing to write,...but I hope I did a decent job on it; it's pretty hard to write in the first person.

Now before anyone's gets confused, this is a normal person; he doesn't know of the battle-front or the other world Otonashi was sent to, so his views on death and where or where may not have been sent afterwards are also normal, I hope that clears up any questions.

So did I surprise anyone?, was anyone expecting that?

I Apologise if there are any mistakes in my spelling/ grammar, or if you find anything I have written offensive.

Thank you to everyone who added 'How we're Remembered' to their favorites/ alerts or who took the time to review, you also have my gratitude for reading.

OW