Merlin On Facebook (Series 1)
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
Kilgharrah the Dragon: In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young boy. His name…. Marilyn!
Merlin: Hey, that's not my name!
Kilgharrah the Dragon: Marilyn and Merlin sound alike, can't I call you both?
Merlin: I'm not a girl! I'm clearly a boy – just look at my fabulous cheekbones!
Irene Adler likes this
Merlin: The fuck are you?
Valiant wrote on Guy Who Played Mundungus Fletcher in Harry Potter's Wall:
Now, about that shield…
Guy Who Played Mundungus Fletcher in Harry Potter: Hold on one second, I will make it extra fabulous for you!
Valiant: ..How?
Guy Who Played Mundungus Fletcher in Harry Potter: ADHVKAJHBH AJKBDBKJD HK, and HBASHN.
Valiant: What the hell did you just say?
Guy Who Played Mundungus Fletcher in Harry Potter: Magic, dude. Magic. These snakes will now do ANYTHING you tell them to. And I am in no way foreshadowing of what is to follow.
Valiant: Anything, you say?
Guy Who Played Mundungus Fletcher in Harry Potter: FML.
Guy Who Played Mundungus Fletcher in Harry Potter is now Offline.
Merlin: Is getting brutally beaten and battered by prince Arthur Pendragon. Just another lovely day in the life of Merlin. (sent from mobile)
Arthur Pendragon: Can't really say that I'm pleased to have you as my servant. Why, my dad forced you to work for me even though we're kind of enemies now.
Merlin: See this face? I DON'T FUCKING CARE.
Arthur Pendragon sent Merlin a Kick In The Groin.
Arthur Pendragon: Anger management never paid off.
Merlin wrote on Gaius' Wall: I NEED COMFORT HERE!
Gaius: What's the matter?
Merlin: You know, the usual. Arthur being a dick, me not being able to use magic around people. Sigh…
Gaius: Stop your whining and get your ass over here.
Gaius sent Merlin a Soothing Massage.
Merlin: ….Am feeling extremely uncomfortable. I know that massage was meant to relax me, but I just feel…. Dirty. I'd rather have someone younger do that to me.
Guinevere likes this.
Merlin: ….Not you.
Guinevere: :(
Arthur Pendragon poked Merlin.
Arthur Pendragon wrote on Merlin's Wall: Hey, dipshit, you suck at dressing me.
Merlin: THEN DO IT YOURSELF. It's not like you're retarded or anything. Oh, wait…
Arthur Pendragon: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND HAND ME MY SWORD.
Arthur Pendragon, Valiant and 300 others are attending TOURNAMENT! DO NOT FORGET YOUR SWORD.
Uther Pendragon wrote on TOURNAMENT! DO NOT FORGET YOUR SWORD's Wall: Gold for anyone who wins this tournament. You will also have the honour of defeating my own son!
Valiant likes this.
Uther Pendragon poked Arthur Pendragon.
Uther Pendragon wrote on Arthur Pendragon's Wall: You'll win this for me, yes? Make me a proud papa.
Arthur Pendragon: …No pressure or anything whatsoever.
Uther Pendragon: ^.^
70 Knights are now Offline.
Valiant likes this.
Merlin wrote on Arthur Pendragon's Wall: Valiant looks pretty handy with a sword.
Arthur Pendragon: ….
Merlin: ….
Arthur Pendragon: ….
Merlin: ….
Arthur Pendragon: …..
Merlin: …..LEAVING.
Arthur Pendragon: Yes, good.
Arthur Pendragon became a fan of Stupid Things Manservants Say
Gaius likes this.
Morgana, Guinevere, Merlin and 177 others were tagged in album TOURNAMENT! DO NOT FORGET YOUR SWORD.
Morgana: Omg, I look like a freakshow in that pic!
Valiant: No, my lady, you look radiant.
Morgana: Aw, really?:)
Valiant: Yes!
Arthur Pendragon: Morgana and Valiant sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-
Morgana: Arthur - GTFO. Valiant, if you win the tournament I'll gladly sleep with you.
Valiant: Sounds like a fair deal.
Arthur Pendragon: Gag.
Merlin: Casually walking into a room and almost getting eaten up by snakes. Ah, the joy of being the most powerful wizard ever. (sent from mobile)
Valiant: GTFO OF MY ROOM.
Merlin: …
Merlin became a fan of Peeing Your Pants In Public.
Arthur Pendragon likes this.
Uther Pendragon wrote on TOURNAMENT! DO NOT FORGET YOUR SWORD's Wall: Another lovely, sunny day to kill! Give it your all and you WILL be retarded. (via iPhone)
Uther Pendragon: *rewarded.
Uther Pendragon: Fucking autocorrect.
Gaius: LOLOL.
Dying Knight is now Unconscious
Gaius: How did this happen? A snakebite… HOW?
Merlin: And he was fighting Valiant… and that shield… snakes….
Gaius: What'chu getting at?
Merlin: I'unno. Seems like a weird coincidence.
15 minutes later
Merlin: OH, now I get it! I must go!
Merlin wrote on Gaius' Wall: Valiant's using magic!:O
Gaius: … and in what way is this surprising? Magic was used in the previous episode.
Merlin: Episode?
Gaius: Nvm.
Merlin: WHAT DO WE DO GRAMPS!
Gaius: YOU must get some evidence before going to the king and make your statement. AND DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME GRAMPS I'M ONLY 107 YEARS OLD.
Merlin sent Arthur Pendragon a Snakehead.
Arthur Pendragon: …
Merlin: I'm sorry to say this, but Valiant's using magic to win this tournament! You're in grave danger, Arthur!
Arthur Pendragon: …Is this my dinner?
Merlin: THAT'S NOT EVEN THE POINT OMG.
Arthur Pendragon: Don't get you knickers in a twist! Tell me why I should believe a servant of all people.
Merlin: DESTINY.
Kilgarrah The Dragon likes this.
Arthur Pendragon: Creep.
Arthur Pendragon sent Uther Pendragon a Snakehead.
Uther Pendragon:….Food?
Arthur Pendragon: Nope, this is apparently a snake from Valiant's shield. Valiant is told to have been using magic during the tournament. My servant told me this.
Uther Pendragon: MAGIC.
Arthur Pendragon: Uh.. yeah. The knight who was unconscious can vouch for that.
Uther Pendragon: Then bring him in.
Dying Knight is now Offline.
Merlin: FML 100x.
Valiant likes this.
Uther Pendragon wrote on Arthur Pendragon's Wall: I'm so ashamed.
Arthur Pendragon: Sorry…
Uther Pendragon: No strawberries for you tonight.
Arthur Pendragon wrote on Merlin's Wall: I can't.
Merlin: You can't what, exactly? Talk? Undress yourself? I've heard this term loosely before but I've never quite unserstood the meaning of 'I can't'.
Arthur Pendragon: I'M SACKING YOU.
Merlin: This I understand.
Merlin: For what it's worth, I'm sorry.
Arthur Pendragon wrote on Stupid Things Manservants Say's Wall: I sacked my manservant's sorry ass! He's such a twat and not like any other servant I've ever met! But that also makes him so goddamn likeable. I can't.
Merlin wrote on Kilgarrah The Dragon's Wall: YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG PERSON!
Kilgarrah The Dragon: Young Warlock, that is not true. You and Arthur share the same path.
Merlin: But he hates me!
Kilgarrah The Dragon: …Destiny.
Merlin: Hell no, just give me a straight answer!
Kilgarrah The Dragon: DESTINY.
Kilgarrah The Dragon became a fan of DESTINY and Promoting Merthur.
Merlin wrote on Arthur Pendragon's Wall: Withdraw.
Arthur Pendragon: I can't.
Merlin: You can't what?
Arthur Pendragon: I can't withdraw! It's my duty as Prince to be a good example to the people of Camelot. I just can't. And didn't I tell you to leave? I'm not good at opening up to servants.
Merlin: FINE.
Merlin became a fan of Stupid Arthur.
Guinevere: Enjoying some sun with mah BMF (um, best male friend) – with Merlin at Camelot.
Merlin: I'm not your best friend, we're just friends at the moment.
Guinevere: Um, awkward…
Merlin: Whatevs.
Guinevere: You should convince Uther that Valiant uses magic. Um, it's your job after all.
Merlin: How the hell is it my job?
Guinevere: DESTINY.
Merlin: Ugh, not you too.
Merlin: Gasp! A statue! I just had the most awesome idea ever! (sent from mobile)
Guinevere likes this.
Morgana became a fan of Nightmares!
Morgana wrote on Arthur Pendragon's Wall: Here, let me help you.
Arthur Pendragon: Whatever Merlin's been telling you, I can dress myself, you know.
Morgana: Yeah, yeah. Be careful, Arthur.
Arthur Pendragon: Being nice does not suit you, Morgana.
Morgana: IKR! I feel so uncomfortable.
Uther Pendragon wrote on TOURNAMENT! DO NOT FORGET YOUR SWORD'S Wall: I want a clean fight today! There will be no more blood and gays on this pavement.
Uther Pendragon: *guts.
Uther Pendragon: I can't.
Arthur Pendragon, Gaius and 300 others like this.
Valiant poked Arthur Pendragon.
Arthur Pendragon poked Valiant.
Three more similar stories
Merlin:MAGIC TIME! Aabjabdkjvsmhgv adbhkjbdsa.
Valiant sent Two Snakes in Arthur Pendragon's direction.
Valiant: Suck on that!
Two Snakes are now Offline.
Valiant:FML.
Valiant is now Offline.
Uther Pendragon: MAGIC. Speechless.
Arthur Pendragon: I hope this won't be a recurring thing, father.
Uther Pendragon: Me too, son. Me too.
Merlin and Kilgarrah The Dragon like this.
Arthur Pendragon wrote on Merlin's Wall: I s'pose I should thank you…
Merlin: You always say that, but you never do! It's no big deal though, just buy me a drink and we're even.
Arthur Pendragon: Uhh, how about you just be my servant. I'm not interested in any.. you know.
Merlin: …I thought you sacked me!
Arthur Pendragon: Well duh, not anymore. My chambers need cleaning.
Merlin: Roger that.
Arthur Pendragon: It won't clean itself, Merlin.
Merlin: OMFG, I got it! Geez.
Merlin and Arthur Pendragon are now friends.
A/N: I'm so sorry it took me this long to update! But this parody will take alot of time and effort to finish. But I promise I will have chapter three up as soon as possible.
And your reviews make my day/night! Keeps me determined to finish this series :)
-NoNewsIsGoodNews