Baby Steps

- Daianta

My first Avengers fanfiction. Well, the first one published. I'm writing one with a Supernatural and Sherlock crossover, but it probably won't be posted for a while. Say hello to my Avengers OTP, Steve and Tony. I don't own anything.

Word Count: 1,500

The look was enough. The air between them was stale and fraught with unspoken words. The rest of the Avengers were out; Thor on a date with Jane; Clint and Natasha out on a mission and Bruce back in his lab, ever researching.

It had been just Steve and Tony in the tower, allowing them some much needed privacy. Things had been… tense between them, so to speak.

It had started shortly after Loki had been defeated, and brought to justice in Asgard. Actually, it began before that, but Steve would never admit it. (He had realised just how much he cared for Tony when he had pulled the suicide stunt with the missile). Tony had whisked Bruce off to his lab while Clint and Natasha took a much needed holiday. Of course, Thor would remain on Asgard until Loki's trial was finished. It left Steve on his own, stuck near Stark tower but with nothing to do. When Tony caught wind of this he invited the super soldier to stay with him and Bruce and Steve had agreed. The pair had grown close, until Banner wasn't even around anymore. They only saw each other.

It had resulted in a lot of kisses – mostly stolen when no one was around – and culminated with the pair sleeping together, the night before the rest of the Avengers came back to Stark tower to resume living together.

The pair had decided, unspoken, to put a hold on their extra-curricular activities until they had time to resume them. Not that they were ashamed that they were sleeping together, but worried how the rest of the Avengers – and the world – would react to the news. Being bonded to one another emotionally was never a good mind-set on the battlefield. He had seen first-hand how often Clint and Natasha would ensure each other was okay, and it was dangerous; especially when a demigod capable of learning your innermost thoughts was at large at the time. But chances were better left alone.

Steve had become fed up with it; with skirting around the issue. He liked Tony; he really, really liked Tony, and couldn't understand how the other man could simply brush it under the carpet. So he'd told him.

"I think we should tell the rest of them that we are – were – sleeping together."

Steve was leaning forwards slightly, in his chair, an arm resting on the table. His eyes were wide with the words he had just spoken, unbidden. He was unable to take them back now the world had heard him speak. He sounded a little brash; he was apologetic for that. But he needed the others, and he needed Tony, to see how much he cared for the billionaire. His feelings were so strong that they frightened and exhilarated him in equal measure.

For the better part, Tony merely sat still, eyes downcast, hands frozen where they had been rifling through sheets. But one who knew him enough could see how his jaw clenched tight, biting back his own scathing words. The Arc reactor on his chest was a dull light under the fabric of his shirt, but Steve watched as the light flickered, just a fraction, and it gave away so much more than Tony's face allowed.

In the end, he glanced towards the ceiling, "I think I'll have noodles for dinner tonight."

Steve slammed a fist on the table, "Dammit, Tony! Why won't you answer me?"

"What do you want me to say?" Toy countered, placing his rifled documents down on the table with his own fists. He hadn't realised how hard he was breathing. Or how loud he was getting. Knowing their luck, someone would come home at the wrong moment and see them shouting at each other, or doing all sorts of naughty things on the table.

Why couldn't Steve see that it wouldn't work between them in public? Tony, who was so broken and flawed; his closet so full of skeletons a graveyard would be proud. Who was in the public eye so often that every other story about him was from the point of view of some bimbo who claimed to have slept with him. (Not that it was always false, mind). But the constant accusations, while going straight over his own head, would enrage Steve, or make him doubt himself. And if there was one thing Tony didn't want to see, that was a doubtful Steve. It wasn't good on the battlefield and it wasn't good at home.

Steve was pure and simple. He was everything good, and Tony did not want to taint him. Yes, he was attracted to Steve. Not even as a baseline attraction; this was a soul wrenching love. If Steve told Tony to jump in front of a train, he didn't think he would be able to refuse.

Steve saw Tony as some form of God, the pair of them knew it.

Tony had started, and he was unsure if he was going to be able to stop himself. Words tumbled like a waterfall, and he himself was unsure whether he wanted them to stop. He kept himself seated at the table, the scattered papers long forgotten. Steve towered over him, standing, hands resting on the table and his body hunched over. It was clearly painful for the pair of them. But Tony wasn't going to let Steve go; no, not after what they had been through. He just didn't believe it was the right time to spill their relationship to the world.

"What do you want me to say?" He repeated, this time resigned, "I… Can't. I can't tell the world."

"What are you afraid of?" Steve was calmer, quieter. Tony thought that perhaps Steve didn't want to hear the answer.

Tony looked him in the eye. "Seriously? I'm afraid of losing you. Creepy as it sounds, you were a big part of my childhood. I can't… I can't deal with the world judging me. Not this time."

"Do you think people are really going to care? You saved New York from an army of aliens, Tony. If anything, they should be proud of you."

"I know times have changed since you were frozen, Steve. Back in your time, homosexuality was something that was repressed, controlled. No one would admit it, because they would be seriously hurt. There was a time where things were more relaxed, more open, but now it's reversing. I can't bear to see you hurt as a result of our choices."

He buried his face in his hands. There. He was done. He had said all he wanted to say. In hindsight, it sounded cowardly, but he didn't care. Neither of them could deal with being hurt publically by this. For a fraction of a second, he thought of simply agreeing with Steve; talking to Oprah about it or even Ellen DeGeneres, who would undoubtedly support them. He couldn't, he wouldn't. Tony had been burned by the public before; he knew the sharp sting of rejection. And as much as it sounded strange to say it, he enjoyed being in the public's eye. He always had been, and to be rejected was something he was unused to.

Steve sat on the spare stool next to him, pulling the genius into a crushing hug. He smiled, more to himself than anything, when Tony put his arms around him in response, burying his head in the super-soldier's shoulder and sighing deeply.

"What are we going to do, Steve? I'm not losing you."

"We'll go in baby steps. One foot at a time. Start by telling the Avengers. Then when everything's settled there, we will wait a while and tell SHIELD and Fury. And maybe then, we will be comfortable enough to tell the world." Steve sighed, "Is that okay with you?"

Tony nodded into Steve's shoulder, still not relinquishing his grip on the man, and mumbled something ineligible.

"Pardon?"

Tony pulled away, "Kiss me, Steve."

He obliged, leaning forwards to capture Tony's perfect mouth with his own. It was slow and languid, a pace the pair of them were unused to, but it was nice. It meant so much more than originally intended, and it made Steve want to cry with happiness. He didn't think he would be happy in this new world, and then he had fallen for Tony. And although they had fought with each other physically and verbally, they had saved each other, time and time again.

Baby steps. Yes, they could do that. The fact that Tony was agreeing for once was a miracle in itself, but Steve didn't particularly mind. It would be difficult; but he knew it wasn't the Avengers that they had to be worried of. Admitting weaknesses to the public was dangerous, but they would pull through for each other. They always did. The Avengers would be there to back them up; Thor with his loud voice, Natasha with her deathly glares. It wasn't impossible, they just needed some faith.